Cold Highway: Ellie Kline Series: Book Four
Page 7
Fortis gestured toward his closed door. “And your fellow officers have worked overtime protecting witnesses. They are volunteering to step up patrol in your area to keep Reed safe while she’s on medical leave and alone in your apartment. I’ve got detectives working long hours on the Jones cases, based off your discovery. They believe in you, Kline, even as you continue to push them away.”
“Or they’re part of the conspiracy, and they want to stay close to the investigation. And Jillian’s not alone. I hired a nurse.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Do you even hear yourself?” His voice rose again, and he slammed his fist on the desk. Recoiling as if shocked at his own frustration, he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he sucked in a long, slow breath, letting it out slowly. Ellie caught herself holding her breath, waiting for him to inhale again. When he finally opened his eyes, his words were quiet. “It’s Friday. You’ve worked hard this week, and you care about victims no one else wants to champion. Let’s end the week on this high note and revisit this Monday morning.”
“I don’t—”
He held up his hand, though the gesture appeared more weary this time. “I’ll see you next week, Kline. Take some time to relax and remind Jillian that, if she needs anything, to let us know.”
“I will.”
“I’ll see you Monday.”
She stood, leaving the office before Fortis decided to partner her up with Decker, or worse, Shaw. Packing up her laptop for the weekend, she grunted in response when Detective Valdez greeted her from his nearby desk.
Undeterred, he stood and stuck out his hand with a guarded smile. “I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced.” He was dressed in khaki slacks and a soft blue button-up that looked freshly ironed even after a full day of work. His black hair was cut short, his face clean-shaven. Dark eyebrows framed brown eyes that didn’t give much away. “I’m Fernando Valdez, but everyone calls me Nando. You must be Ellie Kline.”
“Detective Kline is fine.” She shook his hand quickly, almost able to feel Fortis’s gaze on her back, and slung her laptop case strap over her shoulder. Her eyes darted to the door, but Detective Valdez stood between her and escape.
His smile never wavered, and that frustrated her even more. Couldn’t he see she was furious and leaving work a full hour early? That was never a good sign, not in the detective’s pen.
Despite his neatly groomed appearance, he had a relaxed air about him. He was comfortable in his own skin, and Ellie’s terse response clearly had no effect on him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope to work with you someday. Not on this case, of course.”
“Were you in the military?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Marines. Is it obvious?”
“Very obvious. I just wondered how someone who was accustomed to working on a team would so easily turn into a tattletale.”
She could have kicked herself as she realized what had come out of her mouth. Before he could respond, she sidestepped him and hurried out the door. She was obviously in no mood for office banter, and the sooner she left, the sooner she salvaged her career. She’d called Detective Fernando Valdez a tattletale. Out loud.
Shit.
On the way home, she stopped at Target, in need of some retail therapy. She loaded up her shopping cart with board games and card games to help Jillian pass the time. Every day when Ellie came home, Jillian was eager for a rundown of the workday. It was Jillian’s only connection to the job she lived for, and today, Ellie wasn’t in the mood to chat about work.
She lingered in the aisles, snagging a large body pillow perfect for Jillian to rest her arm on. The pillow was meant for pregnant women, but Ellie had noticed Jillian arranging pillows to give her neck a break from the sling holding her bandaged arm in place. If a forty-dollar pillow could ease Jillian’s discomfort, Ellie would happily buy out the store.
Her cart was nearly full by the time she admitted to herself that she was stalling, unwilling to explain to Jillian why she’d left work early. It was easier to fill her cart and bide her time. The less Jillian knew about her conversation with Fortis, the better.
Skipping the nearly empty line where an overly chatty cashier babbled away at a customer, Ellie opted for the self-checkout line. She tossed everything back into the cart without bothering to bag it, paid for her purchases, and hurried out the door.
In the parking lot, she shoved the games into a reusable bag she kept stuffed in the back cubby but somehow never remembered to bring into the store. The pillow proved to be more difficult to stow in the back of her silver Audi Q3, and the hatch wouldn’t close with everything else she’d stowed in the space. She groaned and tossed the heavy pillow into the back seat.
Traffic was light for a Friday afternoon. Ellie arrived home right on time, sticking her arm through the straps of the reusable shopping bag, slinging the laptop strap over her shoulder, and wrapping her arms around the cumbersome pillow. She was already regretting the purchase as she stepped off the elevator and lugged everything down the hall with arms aching under the weight of it all.
Using the toe of her shoe to knock on the door, she waited for the nurse to let her in so she wouldn’t have to set the pillow down on the floor. The lock clicked as it tumbled open, but as the door swung inward, Ellie’s gaze met familiar blue eyes, and she gasped in surprise.
“Nick.” She hated that her voice came out breathy and thick with emotion. “What are you doing here?”
Before he answered, he scooped the large pillow out of her arms, arching an eyebrow at her in question.
She shook her head. “It’s not for me, it’s for Jillian.”
Nick cast a glance over his shoulder. “I’m not sure that’s any less shocking.”
She laughed, in spite of the growing sense of dread knotting her stomach. “The pillow is to support her arm. It’ll be easier than what she’s been doing.”
“I doubt it. This thing is the size of a small child.”
“It has a handle.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he stepped out of the entrance and delivered the pillow to Jillian, explaining that they’d sent the nurse home early while he hung out with her roommate.
Jillian’s eyes were wide from watching the entire exchange, her eyebrows having disappeared behind her bangs. “What is this thing?”
“It’s for your arm.” Ellie helped Jillian wrap it around her midsection and adjust it until it was just right. “There’s a rod in there or something, so once you set it the way you want it, it won’t lose its shape.”
“Thanks, what’s in the bag?”
“Board games.” Ellie turned to Nick, plastering a welcoming smile on her face. “You have time to lose a few rounds of Monopoly?” It was then she noticed the grim set of his mouth. He shook his head, and her heart sank. “What’s wrong, Nick? Are your parents okay?”
“They’re fine, but we need to talk.”
Ellie shot Jillian a look, but her friend only shrugged one shoulder. Nauseated with the anxiety his words had created, she frantically chose and discarded several locations in the four-bedroom luxury apartment in which to have a serious conversation, finally settling on the large balcony overlooking the scenic downtown. It wasn’t absolute privacy, but it would have to do. Judging by the sadness in his blue eyes, this wasn’t a conversation either of them wanted to have in front of Jillian.
Leading the way, she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and hurried down the hall to one of three doors that opened onto the spacious balcony that ran from one end of the apartment to the other. Jillian’s room, the hallway and Ellie’s master bedroom all had access to the balcony, though they rarely used it. Two additional rooms were situated on the other side of the apartment, which took up a third of the floor. The room off the master bedroom was connected to a small windowless room Ellie used for her home office, though it had been built with a nursery in mind.
Funny. She held back a snort. Until that moment, she hadn’t gi
ven much thought to having a use for the nursery, but Nick’s shock at her carrying a large pillow featuring a heavily pregnant woman on the packaging had sent her mind spinning in all sorts of directions. Was he there to offer an ultimatum? Him or the job? Given the choice, what would she choose?
Stepping out into the almost sultry air, Nick closed the door behind them, but neither of them took advantage of the amply padded patio furniture he’d helped her pick out from an online catalogue when she’d moved in. Even then, he’d taken her independent streak in stride, hiding his disappointment when she’d opted to live alone rather than move in with him. Nick rarely complained, and in all their years of dating, she’d never seen him so sullen.
“Just tell me what’s going on, Nick.”
He nodded, his lips pressed tight, and ran his fingers through his light brown hair before his brilliant blue eyes finally rose to meet hers.
She held her breath, certain he was going to force her to pick between him and the career she loved. It would be an impossible decision. What else could be on his mind? Her career was the reason they hadn’t spoken since April, and now he was here, arriving at her home unannounced and looking like he was about to tell her someone had died.
Chest swelling as he inhaled, he squared his shoulders. “You’re right. There’s no reason to draw this out. I would’ve called you, but this isn’t the kind of thing I want to say over the phone.”
Her stomach dropped. What the hell was going on?
“Ellie, I’m sorry, but it’s over.”
She blinked, unsure she’d heard him correctly. “What?”
“We don’t belong together, Ellie. It’s time to face facts.” He shrugged, as if what he was saying was inevitable, but there were hollows under his eyes, dark splotches that had never been there before. This wasn’t easy for him.
Of all the possibilities running through her mind, this one had never occurred to her. How could he announce they were over, without even giving her the chance to change his mind? Panic streaked through her veins, and she could almost hear her nerves screaming in response. She and Nick had been together forever. He knew her inside out, and vice versa. What would she do with him no longer in her life?
Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she walked to the balcony railing, pressing her hands down on the iron until her palms felt bruised. She wasn’t prepared for this. Having him ask her to choose between her career and their relationship didn’t seem so bad now. At least then, she would have had a choice.
Drawing in a deep breath, she turned and locked gazes with him.
Dazzling blue eyes stared back at her with a determination she’d rarely seen in this man.
She might as well have been shot, the way pain exploded in her chest. Nick really was breaking up with her. It really was over.
6
The pain in Ellie’s eyes, the way her face had paled, almost broke Nick’s will, but he’d been rehearsing this speech for the past week. He wasn’t about to turn back now.
Letting her go hurt more than he’d expected. Ellie had been his first love—his only love—since he was a teenager. They’d been friends for most of their lives, suffered the parental expectations of children of wealth in the same ways. But now, something between them had changed so much that he didn’t feel like they would ever be what they once were.
Maybe they had never been what he’d thought at all.
He expected her to argue, or at least snap back at him. Even upending the table in a stereotypical fit of redhead rage would’ve been preferable to the wounded look of utter disbelief on her face. Lips parted, her eyebrows pressed together as her nostrils flared slightly. Her chest heaved as she took short breaths. But she didn’t speak.
For a moment, he was afraid he’d literally broken her heart.
But he knew Ellie as well as he knew himself. If he didn’t give her a chance to speak before he moved on, she would get angry and stay that way, and he didn’t want that. He wanted their split to be amicable. Well, as amicable as could be after ten years of sharing every high and low.
She plopped down onto one of the lounges and set her unopened water bottle down on the balcony floor. Forearms resting on her thighs, she laced her fingers together, staring at her hands in silence.
He took a seat in the chair across from her, a few feet away and eye level with Ellie. He longed to take her hand, to ease her pain, but stopped himself. His touch would only make this worse, harder, for both of them. She might misread his reaching out as a bit of hope that they could move past this. But there would be no turning back, as there hadn’t been since she’d shown up at his lakeside cabin, wild-eyed and almost certain he’d betrayed her. His heart for her had changed then. Nothing either of them could do would fix that.
“I don’t know what to say.” Ellies voice quivered, though her eyes remained dry. To a stranger she would seem composed, but he knew her. He’d knocked her back, and she had yet to find her feet or she would already have launched into an interrogation. “Should I even ask why? It sounds as if you’ve made up your mind.”
She lifted her chin, her green eyes sparkling. It was like a punch to the gut, her radiant red hair shining like fire against the backdrop of the encroaching sunset. Almost too much to bear. She was beautiful, and she was going to make a man very happy someday.
But that man wasn’t Nick. Admitting that to himself had damn near broken him. He’d spent the past few weeks running this conversation over in his mind. Somehow, he hadn’t expected it to be this hard.
“I won’t change my mind. I’m sorry.”
“Is this because of my job?”
He blew out a breath. “Yes and no.”
“Makes sense.” A hint of sarcasm crept into her voice, signature Ellie. Better.
“Are you sure you want to talk about this now?”
She glared at him. “Is there a better time to hear the only man I’ve ever loved is done with me? Because if there is, I’d like to be in the moment right now.”
There’s the Ellie I know.
He pressed his lips together to keep the grin from his face, happy to see a bit of her fire return despite the circumstances. He could handle angry Ellie. Broken and hurting Ellie was more than he could bear.
“No, there isn’t a better time. I just don’t see how rehashing everything that went wrong will help either of us.”
Lips pursed in a straight line, she nodded, though her eyes focused on her hands the way a bull would stare at a red flag. It was a warning that she was overwhelmed and searching for a way to speak her mind without losing her temper. Until that moment, he’d only ever seen her react that way to her parents or one of their pompous friends questioning the wisdom of a woman pursuing a career in law enforcement. He never wanted to be the reason she retreated inward, but it was inevitable.
“It would help me. You’ve obviously spent some time with your feelings, but I’m blindsided, Nick. This was the last thing I expected.”
“Really?” Nick leaned forward and stared into her eyes. “Ellie, we haven’t spoken since I left the cabin. Three weeks ago.”
Ellie flinched. “I thought you needed space.”
“I’ve had nothing but space since February. Except for your birthday party in March, Valentine’s day was the last time we spent any significant time together, and even then you were preoccupied with work.”
Her eyes flashed. “You’ve been to my parents’ house for nearly every Sunday dinner for years, Nick. Don’t act like I never see you.”
“It’s not the same. Not to mention, I haven’t been there lately, and I don’t think you’ve even noticed.” His words were curt, his voice louder than he’d meant it to be. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you, but you have to realize Sunday dinner with your family is hardly quality time as a couple.”
“We walk the grounds after dinner.”
“When? When was the last time we did that?” He waited for her to search her memory, but when she didn’t answer, he knew she
couldn’t remember. “It was last fall. Over six months ago. And don’t say it was too cold. How many times have we crunched through the ice and watched our breath crystalize in front of us, using any excuse to stay outside just a little longer?”
“More times than I can count,” she admitted, moisture gathering in her eyes.
“Exactly. When we were barely adults. It’s been a long time since we’ve been a real couple. To be honest, I think this was over long before you accused me of being involved with those horrible people. I let it go on too long because I thought…” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “Your promotion was new, and I thought you’d eventually remember I was here.”
Ellie recoiled, green eyes narrowing. “I didn’t accuse you of being one of them.”
“The look on your face was enough. You came in there, gun drawn and ready to defend your witness. You cared more about Valerie Price than you do about us.”
“That’s not true,” she snapped, her voice rising before she pressed her hand to her chest. “Valerie went through so much. She needed me.”
Nick clenched his hand into a fist, her words swirling around in his head. Even when he spelled it out for her, she wasn’t getting it. “You really don’t know why I’m upset, do you?”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently, her red hair flying. “Nick, I’m sorry about that night, but you know Katarina called, and I thought Valerie was in danger.”
“So did I!” Nick snapped. “But when you got the call, you rushed to the lake to save Valerie, assuming anyone else was suspect. I got the same call, Ellie, and you know what I did? I raced to the cabin, worried that you and Valerie were in danger. I never considered that woman was anything but crazy. You were willing to believe I could be dirty because you think everyone around you is a potential suspect.”
“But—”
He raised a hand. “You don’t trust me, Ellie, but worse than that, you don’t respect me. I can’t move past that. There’s nothing you can say or do to take away the damage your suspicion caused. That’s what this is about. Not your ambition, your career, or some stupid macho need everyone thinks I should have to be a man when you’re so tough, so strong. I’m not intimidated by your strength, Ellie. I’m devastated you don’t have the same respect for me that I have for you. That’s the bottom line. I didn’t realize it until that night. That’s a deal breaker for me. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect me.”