A possibility? Wow! This boy was even more serious than she was. And that was saying a lot. “No problem. Here’s something else. I never dated a white boy before.”
“Is that a problem for you?”
“Actually, I’ve never dated any boy before.”
“Why not? You’re so pretty. I’d think you’d have to fight them off with a stick, as my dad likes to say.”
She shrugged. “The boys at my school didn’t want to date. They wanted sex. That wasn’t happening, so I didn’t see a reason to go through the motions.”
“Yea, I know what you mean. I haven’t dated all that much either and nobody seriously.”
“I did have a friend a long time ago. He was white, too.” She didn’t share about her kiss with Brandon Donner. It was too special to talk about. With anyone.
“What happened with him?”
“He died.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. What happened?”
It was the perfect opening to tell him about Puzzle House and her cancer and all that had happened with Rachel. Instead, she focused on Brandon. “He was born with a heart problem.”
“Wow. That’s super sad.”
“It was. I didn’t know him for very long, but he was a special guy.” She smiled. “Too.”
Bart grinned. “By too, do you mean me?”
“That remains to be seen.”
“Oooh. Tough girl.”
By the time she was back in her room, Nia knew that Bart was a really special guy and very sincere about his spiritual walk. And she knew all about his family, his hopes, and his dreams. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d told her that he was not a private person. She had to admit, she liked Bart. A lot. He was funny and fun to be around. But was he a possibility, to use his words?
She wouldn’t go that far but then again, she hadn’t come to college to find a husband. But maybe that was the door God was opening for her now that she’d decided Puzzle House wasn’t a possibility. She could serve Him by being the wife of a preacher. She shook her head at the silly thought. One date, and she was planning her wedding.
19
“I’m not going to Helping Hands anymore.” Tanya stood in front of Nia with her hands on her hips.
“It was your idea to go there in the first place. But if you don’t want to that’s up to you. It doesn’t bother me one way or another.”
“It’s too much like work for me. Not for you, of course. All you do is go hide in the back room with Sunny while I do all the work.”
Nia couldn’t deny that but she couldn’t tell Tanya what they were doing. Sunny was probably right about Tanya. She’d be jealous because she was still in an unenlightened stage. Whatever that meant. “I work, too. They just have me doing something different than you. It’s no big deal.” Her conscious stung at her almost lie. “We made a commitment to them for the semester. I think we should follow through, but it’s up to you.”
“Whatever. But I’m done. Besides I have almost all my volunteer hours done. Thanks to how much time we spend there. I guess if you’re still going, you’ll need to catch the bus or something.”
She’d promised herself she wouldn’t argue about it, but this would be a problem. “Thanks a lot, Tanya. You could have at least told me that earlier in the day. I’m expected there in twenty minutes. There’s no way I can make it in time using the bus.”
“Whatever.” Tanya walked over to the desk and tossed her keys at Nia. “There, you can use my car this time even though I’m not supposed to let anyone drive it. Next time, you’ll have to take the bus. Or maybe you can have Boyfriend Bart drive you. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. At all.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Right. That’s why I see the two of you together all the time.”
“It’s not all the time. I see him on Wednesday and Friday nights at the chapel, and then we go out on Saturday night. Speaking of which, I wish you’d come with me on Wednesday or Friday. I think you’d like it. There are a lot of nice people there.” And they don’t get drunk.
“No, thanks. I already told you I don’t need any more Jesus freaks in my life. One is more than enough. If y’all want to believe in fairy tales that’s fine with me. But don’t get me involved in your delusions.”
Tanya’s words shocked her. “You don’t believe in God?”
“Sure I believe in God, just not like y’all do. He’s up there making sure the earth keeps going round, but He doesn’t care about me.” Her voice was filled with pain. “If He did, then…”
“Then what?”
“Then nothing.” Tanya waved a hand. “Go before you’re late. I sure don’t want that. Sunny wouldn’t be happy at all.”
“Fine.” Nia walked out the door. She smiled as she walked to Tanya’s car, her mind on Bart. Was he her boyfriend? They had something but…boyfriend might be too strong of a word. In the month that they’d been seeing each other, they’d held hands and that was it. Not even a kiss on the cheek. Bart was serious about his faith but still… On the other hand, she really did like him. And it was a relief not to have to worry about the sex thing with him.
Their love of music was icing on the cake.
A possibility? Oh yeah—very definitely.
***
Tanya’s stomach churned. She’d almost told Nia the truth but what good would it have done? Nothing could change what happened--she corrected herself—what she’d allowed to happen. Tanya wanted to be angry about it, but the truth was it was all her fault. And she had to live with that. There wasn’t a point in blaming anyone but herself. She closed her eyes. I won’t think about it. I won’t think about it. Focus on something else. Like going out that night with her friends. That would be fun.
And she could forget all about…other things.
***
Sunny wanted to talk before they started their session. “I’m not sure you should go back to Atlanta for the semester break, Nia. I think you should stay with me at my house during that time. We could get a lot of work done in those three weeks. We could see each other every day. Maybe even see the breakthrough we’ve been working for.”
“What are you talking about? Of course, I’m going home. I haven’t seen Auntie in almost three months, and I have a friend I need to check on.” The last time she’d called Keisha, her number had been disconnected. When she’d called her mom, she’d told Nia that Keisha had moved out of the house, and she didn’t know where she was.
“Are they more important than your gift? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for our gift. It’s not always easy, but it comes with the territory. In fact, that might be why we’re blocked.”
“What do you mean?”
“Other than a little bit of time, what have you sacrificed for your gift? You’ve got too much going on in your life. School. Friends. Even a boyfriend. All of those things weaken your gift. How can you access your power if you’re too busy being a social butterfly?”
Nia stared. The truth was she’d sacrificed plenty. A normal social life. Friends. But was Sunny right? Did God want her to sacrifice her relationship with Auntie as well? The thought made her stomach hurt, physically. “I can’t. I won’t hurt Auntie that way. She’s taken care of me most of my life. I would never hurt her on purpose. Christmas is coming, and Christmas is about being with your family. And that’s where I’ll be.”
Sunny glared. “We’ve been making great progress, and I sense a breakthrough coming, but that could all be lost if you take such a long break now. It’s not the right time to do that. Perhaps you’re not really serious about your gift at all.”
“That’s not true. You know how important this is to me. But you can’t ask me to hurt my Auntie by not going home. I won’t do it.”
Sunny threw her hands in the air. “I really thought you took this seriously. I can see now I’ve been wasting my time.”
“I do take this seriously, but I have to go home.” Nia couldn’t believe this. Sunny had always been so sweet. Until now.
Sunny ran her hands through her now purple highlighted hair. “Fine. No session today. I…I’m just too upset.”
“Sunny, I don’t understand what the problem is.”
“I know exactly what’ll happen when you get home. You’ll tell your aunt all about what we’re doing here. She won’t understand, and she’ll talk you out of coming back. Just because we’re not traditional Christians, people think we’re frauds.”
“I don’t think that at all. And if it makes you feel better, I promise not to tell Auntie anything about us.”
Sunny smiled.
20
Bart bumped her shoulder with his. “Earth to Nia.”
They were at the movies, but her mind was elsewhere, specifically on Sunny. Nia still couldn’t believe Sunny had wanted her to cancel going home for Christmas. She looked over at Bart. “What?”
“The movies been over for at least five minutes. Maybe even ten. And you haven’t moved. I thought you might be sleeping, but your beautiful brown eyes were open.”
“Oh.”
He grinned. “So what was your favorite part?”
She grabbed up her soda cup. “Fine, I admit I wasn’t paying attention to the movie. Is that what you wanted to—”
“Hey, roomie and roomie’s boyfriend.” Tanya crawled over two rows of seats and plopped down in front of them. “Didn’t you love the ending? I thought I wouldn’t be able to stop crying.”
Nia glanced at Bart and turned back to Tanya. “Uh, if you say so. I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“Not paying attention?” She gave a suggestive look. “Maybe you and boyfriend were a little too busy, huh?”
Nia shook her head, feeling the heat in her cheeks. “No. I was just preoccupied.”
“About what?”
“Oh, something Sunny said today.”
“Oh, Sunny.” Tanya rolled her eyes then looked at Bart. “Sunny and Nia are great friends. Really close. You better be careful. She might steal Nia away from you.”
“What’s that—”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Tanya.” Nia tugged on Bart’s arm. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”
“Where you going?” Tanya asked.
“To the Pizza Barn. Want to go?” Bart asked.
“That’s very sweet of you, Boyfriend Bart, but I’ve got other plans. I just had to see this movie first. Thanks. See you later.”
Once they were in the car and on the way to the Pizza Barn, Bart said, “So what was with the comment about you and Sunny?”
Sunny was pretty adamant about not talking about their sessions with anyone. “Oh, nothing.”
“It didn’t sound like nothing. Should I be jealous?”
“I don’t think so. Sunny is a woman and probably at least forty-five. She’s the person who’s in charge of volunteers at Helping Hands.”
“So what’s Tanya got against her?” he asked as he pulled into the parking lot.
“It’s no big deal. Let’s go in and eat. I’m starving.” A moment later he was opening her door. “Thanks, Bart.”
He smiled. “No problem. But I think there’s something you’re not telling me about this Sunny and Helping Hands. What did she say that had you so preoccupied that you couldn’t watch the movie?”
A part of her wanted to tell him—everything. About Sunny and their sessions. About her gift of healing. But he’d probably think she was nuts. “Never mind. It’s nothing.” She tugged him toward the restaurant, hoping he’d forget all about this discussion.
After they ordered, he looked at her. “I’m not trying to pry.”
She grinned. “Then don’t.”
“I know you’re all private and everything, but you’ve got to learn to trust me. To talk with me about your life.”
“I do.”
“Yea, sometimes you do, but it’s only surface things. I feel as if there are things you’re hiding from me. I really like you, Nia, but I don’t like the way you shut me out.”
She bit down on her lip. “I don’t mean to do that, Bart. I really don’t. I like you too, and…I’m not really sure why you think I shut you out.”
He didn’t say anything. Instead he looked into her eyes as if trying to see into her soul.
She couldn’t breathe. She wanted to tell him everything, but it just wasn’t the right time. Not yet.
Then he nodded with a smile. “OK, I can be patient. Besides the pizza’s here.” He pointed at their waitress who was walking toward them with a huge pizza.
21
“Oh, I missed you, sweet niece.” Auntie Margaretta threw her arms around Nia before she could even get in the door.
Nia had found a ride back to Atlanta so Auntie hadn’t had to drive all that way to get her. “I missed you too.” Nia hugged her back. How could Sunny have asked her not to come home for Christmas?
They both settled on the couch. “So tell me all about this boyfriend.” Auntie had a big smile on her face.
“Not a boyfriend, but a good friend. He’s so sweet and he loves music as much as I do.”
“And he’s a Christian?”
“Plans to be a preacher.”
“Perfect.”
“He’s white.”
“People are people, Nia. He can be blue or purple as far as I’m concerned as long as he treats you good. Does he do that?”
She nodded. “Very much so. And he doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. So no pressure in that direction.”
Auntie’s smile grew even larger. “I think I like this boy. A lot.”
“So do I, but we’re really just friends right now. Have you seen Keisha?”
“Sadly, no. Her mother hasn’t talked with her in almost a month, and she’s worried sick. It’s such a sad situation.”
“I’ll find her while I’m home and try to talk some sense into her.” Nia shook her head. “I can’t believe she’s acting this way. It makes me think she was never really a Christian to begin with.”
“I know that’s so easy to think, but this is when the grace of God needs to kick in. It’s not our place to judge people. We’re just supposed to love them.”
“That’s not all that easy to do. I’m so mad at her for the way she’s acting. The things she’s doing.”
“Mad’s OK, but you still gotta love her.”
“Oh, I do, but I don’t know how to help her.”
“Keep praying for her and for the right words when you see her.”
Later, they were sitting at the table after eating when Auntie got that look on her face. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” Her stomach twisted. She knew that look. Very well.
“Cooper stopped in the other day when he was in town.”
“Oh. I know I should have told you about my decision before this, but I really needed time to process the whole thing. And I wasn’t quite sure how to tell you.”
“Process? That must be college terminology. And don’t worry, I’m not upset that you didn’t tell me. That was certainly your right. I just want to talk about it with you. That’s what you and I do. We talk. We share our lives with each other. Right?”
Auntie’s words brought on a wave of guilt. Not just about not telling her about the Puzzle House decision but about Sunny. But a promise was a promise. “You’re right. I just didn’t feel strong enough to talk about it then. It’s still painful. For years I thought I would become a healer and live at Puzzle House.”
“And that can still happen.”
“I don’t think so and it felt wrong to let Cooper think that when obviously God has other ideas about what I should be doing.” She still might become a healer, but it probably wouldn’t be at Puzzle House. It would be with Sunny and the people at Helping Hands. “I still want to serve God, but I’m just not sure how or where that will be.”
“And that makes perfect sense. You’re still in your David years. Remember David was well into his adulthood before he actually became king. You’re just becoming an adult. I just want you
to keep an open mind about your options.”
“I know you and Cooper keep telling me to be patient, but it’s more than impatience. It’s…” What was it? “It’s a feeling I have. I just don’t think Puzzle House is the right place for me.”
Her aunt gave her a surprised look. “Sometimes our feelings lie to us, Nia. Be careful about listening to them. We should listen to the Holy Spirit, not our feelings.”
She’d had enough of this discussion. Nia stood up. “Thanks, Auntie. I’m going to see if I can find Keisha.”
“Her mama is worried sick. About her and the baby. If you see her, make sure you tell her that her mama wants her to come home.”
“I will. I can’t believe she changed her phone number, and I have no way to get hold of her.”
“You can just imagine how her mother feels.”
22
Nia sat in the lobby of her dorm waiting for Bart. He’d called and said he wanted to see her. That pleased her. The time at home had been good, but she’d really missed him. It gave her some time to think about Bart and what she wanted out of their relationship. And she wanted to share those thoughts with him. Sunny or no Sunny, Nia was done hiding things from him. Tonight, she would tell him all about her illness, Rachel, and Puzzle House, and how she’d been anointed as a healer and what she was doing at Helping Hands.
Christmas vacation had been great. Seeing Auntie had been wonderful, but Nia hadn’t found Keisha. She’d been so desperate she’d tracked down Marcus. That hadn’t been good at all. He’d tried to talk her into having sex with him.
As if.
It was clear that whatever was going on with Keisha, she didn’t want Nia’s or her mother’s interference. As much as it hurt, Nia would have to take a step back. Keisha would have to put her puzzle together alone. Unless Keisha decided to ask for help. If she did, Nia would be there for her friend.
“Hey.” Bart came close.
She jumped up and gave him a hug. “I missed you.”
He gave her a quick hug but then stepped away. “Did you have a good break?”
“Not everything turned out the way I’d hoped. I didn’t even see Keisha. Couldn’t find her to talk to her. But seeing Auntie was great. As always.”
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