The Rules Series

by LaShawn Vasser

  Two swift knocks brought me out of my thoughts. “Yes?” I took my legs down from the table and swiveled my chair around to see who was at the door as it slowly crept open.

  “Ms. Lee-Xiou? Are you ready for us to clear this room?” The movers had arrived.

  I took a deep breath before glancing back at it one last time. After I committed every detail to memory, I stood up. “Yes. Not only do I want you to clear everything out except for this chair and that picture—” I pointed towards the portrait on the wall. “I want you to burn it. Burn every last piece of it. Make the fire so big that the people in America will know the house my father built is now just a pile of ashes.”

  Chapter 3

  The Maid Experience

  I couldn’t have been older than ten at the time. Nina was in our tea room, and I’d just been kicked out of our father’s office . . . again. I was going to get the strap for spying on him, but it was worth it.

  As I walked away from his office and the closer I came to the tea room, I heard what sounded like laughter.

  Giggles.

  Who was that, and what was so funny? I didn’t recognize the voices. When I arrived at the threshold of the door, instead of going inside something told me to wait and watch. I was good at that.

  Two maids whispered into each other’s ear as they laughed and pointed towards Nina, my sister. She sat on the sofa with her back to them in her little pink dress adorned with an ungodly amount of ruffles and wearing white patent leather shoes—completely oblivious and playing with her doll.

  I could feel the anger rise up inside of me. I clenched my hands into tight little fists. They were talking about her.

  One of the maids continued to point. They had no idea that I watched them. She said the words, “Xiǎo hēi guǐ,” and it was the first time I’d heard it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last. At the time, I was clueless to what it meant, but I was going to find out. My fury could have been doled out in equal measures since I was almost as furious with Nina as I was with them. She always missed everything going on around her. Nina never paid attention. All she ever wanted to do was play with that damn doll.

  We were identical twins but couldn’t have been more different. She was a princess, all pomp and taffeta. Don’t get me wrong; I was a princess too, but while Nina would have rather had a tea party, I would have rather sat in my father’s office watching him. He was fascinating. Interesting things always happened in his office. Sometimes, I would hide out in the closet and open the door just a crack to steal a peek. It was worth the beating that was sure to come if I were caught. The expressions on his guest’s faces were sometimes mixed with frustration and irritation, but most always fear. I didn’t know the full extent of what was going on, but I knew that people seemed to do whatever he demanded. I wanted to have that kind of power, and right now, I would wield it like a steel bat up against those maids’ heads.

  “Gina? What are you doing out here?” I nearly jumped out of my skin and pressed my hand against my chest. My heart was about to beat out of my rib cage. I was good at lurking, but I had to work on my responses when I got caught. Fortunately, it was only Laurette Audrieux, Nina’s and my nanny. She’d scared me half to death. Laurette was the only other person I knew who could lurk better than me.

  “Did you hear me, young lady? What are you doing out here?” She addressed me in French, so I needed to respond to her in the same language. One of her jobs was to make sure that Nina and I became fluent in both French and English.

  “Watching.”

  “Watching what?”

  I shrugged my little shoulders.

  “It’s not good to eavesdrop or sneak up on people, Gina. It’s rude.”

  There was a slight hitch in my tone. “You just did the same thing to me.”

  Laurette lowered her voice. Her eyes twinkled as if she were about to tell me a secret, but she didn’t. “So it would seem, but the difference is I didn’t get caught.” She smiled down at me and winked before walking into the tea room. I dragged my feet and followed behind her.

  As soon as we entered, Nina turned in our direction and flashed a smile that revealed she didn’t have a care in the world or a clue; she had no idea the maids were talking about her.

  “Bonjour.”

  We returned her greeting in unison. “Bonjour.”

  The memory of her face, the innocence of it, her playing with that stupid doll, still made my heart smile. I think her name was Bae-Li or Bai-Lien, or something like that.

  I never liked dolls or playing with inanimate objects. It was silly. Even more so in this case, because that doll didn’t look anything like us. Not many people that I knew did except for Laurette. Looking into her face was like a reflection of my own unlike that doll. Its complexion was much lighter, and the black hair was bone straight. That was the opposite of us. Our skin was the color of coffee with heavy doses of crème, and our eyes looked more like large chestnuts. Yes, they had a slight slant to them like our father, but our eyes were much more round. We were different. For a short time, I didn’t understand just how different. I didn’t get it, not until a couple of years before when a hairstylist came over to our home to do Nina’s and my hair.

  We had a mini-salon built into our shared bathroom. I was sitting in the styling chair getting my hair combed when out of nowhere I thought I’d been struck by lightning.

  “Ow!” The sound escaped from between my lips before I could catch it. That woman pulled my hair so hard I thought it was coming out from the roots.

  “How is anyone supposed to be able to tame this?” Roughly, she continued to pull and snatch my hair managing to tangle it in her comb. She had the nerve to yank my head again, while grumbling at me to “Hold still.”

  It hurt, but I tried to deal with it. I managed to hold back the tears misting up in my eyes from the pain. I was older than Nina by three minutes, so they said, and she watched me like a hawk. She was next. I guess even then I always felt the need to protect her. I had to be strong for her.

  The stylist complained underneath her breath. “Real Chinese girls don’t have hair like this.”

  What did she mean by that? We were real Chinese girls. I turned my head slightly to ask, but she yanked it back around. This time, I couldn’t fight the tear that trickled out of the corner of my eye, but I was quick. I wiped it away before Nina saw it. This woman was a monster, and I wasn’t going to ask her anything. I’d ask Laurette later. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she meant. Were her remarks because Nina and I didn’t have a mother? While it was rare, other girls from our school had lost a parent, so that couldn’t be it. Our hair was just as long as the other girls or longer. True, it wasn’t jet black but more like a cocoa brown. And, yes, it was thick with big natural waves, but it wasn’t wild. My mind was abuzz with questions when Laurette entered the room. She always appeared from nowhere like magic.

  It was apparent from the crinkling of her eyes and the firm line of her lips that she had overheard the stylist. Her head lifted a little higher, looking down on the woman—almost regally. “What. Did. You. Say?” Speaking through clenched teeth, Laurette punctuated every word.

  The stylist glanced up with a blank expression on her face as if she hadn’t said anything crazy. “Excuse me?”

  Laurette stiffened her back, and her eyes glittered. I could see the anger radiating off of her petite frame. It was shocking, because she was always so calm and soft spoken. I’d rarely heard her raise her voice, but this was one of those times that her words began to spew from her mouth like a rapid fire weapon.

  “Get out of this house you vile and evil woman! They are children. How dare you?”

  “N-no. You misunderstood.”

  “I understood you correctly!”

  Our private security was never too far, and they came into the room. “Is there a problem?”

  “Yes. I want this woman out of this house right now before I snap her scrawny little neck.”

  Our security gra
bbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her out of our house. Moments later the woman was gone.

  At the time, I didn’t fully understand what had happened or why. I also didn’t know that I wasn’t really considered one of them or what THEM even was. I was considered black. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know there were differences in races. I thought everyone was the same, but on this day, I learned. Chang protected us from a lot – well mostly himself, but he couldn’t protect us from this.

  I never forgot that stylist. She handed me my first experience of being a black woman growing up in China.

  After Laurette and I entered the tea room, the maids suddenly became overly focused on dusting and cleaning. There weren’t any more giggles, laughter, or pointing coming from them.

  Nina and Laurette started talking about nonsense, and I took a seat opposite them. Nina’s soft voice was always asking about silly things. “Laurette, I love this room. You had it decorated to look almost exactly like my dollhouse.”

  “Yes, I did. I know how you hate tea-time and dinner in here, so I figured if we made it look like your dollhouse maybe you could pretend to be somewhere you loved. I’m more than happy that my hope has had its desired effect. What about you Gina? Do you like what I’ve done?”

  My mind was pre-occupied. “I guess. It’s nice, but I never had a problem with this room.”

  I didn’t have much to offer to the conversation, because my focus was somewhere else entirely. I watched and waited until the idle chatter between Nina and Laurette died down before I asked my question. Even back then I understood timing could be everything. You could almost hear a pin drop in the room.

  “Laurette?”

  “Oui, little one?” She was focused on and fussed over the ribbon in Nina’s hair.

  This time, I spoke in my own language. I wanted those maids to understand every word. “What does xiǎo hēi guǐ mean?”

  Her head snapped up to look at me. “Where did you hear such foul language?”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t know it was foul.”

  Not only was the room incredibly quiet, it also seemed the temperature had dropped more than ten degrees. I didn’t know what the word meant, but I knew Laurette hadn’t looked this angry since she kicked that hair stylist out of our home years ago.

  Slowly, I turned and pointed towards the maids. “They were laughing. I thought it was some kind of joke when I heard her say it.” I knew better. Whatever they were saying wasn’t a joke, at least not to us.

  The maids began talking at the same time. “Gina misunderstood. We would never—”

  Laurette straightened her back and narrowed her eyes. She put her hand up to silence them. She had that kind of authority in this house, and both ladies immediately closed their mouths. “Do not speak. Just get out!” This time, when security appeared, Laurette followed them out of the room.

  I knew without a shadow of a doubt; those maids would never step foot in our home again.

  Blinking innocently, Nina turned to me. “What was that all about? What does xiǎo hēi guǐ mean?”

  I got up and plopped down on the seat next to her. “I don’t know, but it can’t be good.” I couldn’t contain the frustration in my voice. “What I DO know is that you’ve got to start paying closer attention to what’s going on around you and more than just that doll.”

  Chapter 4

  The Teen Years

  “Stop moving around and let me pin this up correctly.” Laurette spoke through an almost closed mouth except for several pins sticking out from it.

  “I’m not moving.” Nina wiggled.

  I lay on her bed going over chapter sixteen in my chemistry book. The test was going to be difficult, and I wanted to be ready for it. I didn’t glance up until the two of them fell into a fit of laughter. I’d seen this scene over and over except this time instead of playing dress up, Laurette was helping Nina get ready for some dance at our high school. It was her first one.

  Laurette’s smile faded somewhat, and her eyes softened as she looked over at me. “You should be going to the dance too, Gina. You study so hard. It’s okay to have fun every now and again.”

  I shrugged. “No thank you. I’m good. That’s one rite of passage I can skip.” I turned the page in my book and continued to read the words in front of me. I wasn’t even remotely interested in going to that dance.

  Laurette’s heavily accented voice broke through my thoughts. “There—all finished. Turn around for me.”

  Nina twirled around and around in a circle. She wore her hair bone straight now. I guessed in an attempt to fit in with the other girls at school. I hated it. Still, she was a beautiful vision. Her soft skin against the wine-colored dress was breathtaking. It was form fitted and flared out at the bottom like a mermaid.

  Laurette clasped her hands together and brought them to a spot on her chest near her heart. When she spoke, her voice was thick. “You are stunning. You will have all the boys dying for a dance.”

  I snorted. “Right. Dying. I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen if anyone other than cousin Joseph tries to dance with you.”

  “Gina!” Laurette turned angry eyes on her. “Why would you say such a thing?”

  “Why is everyone looking at me like I’m crazy? We all know Chang can do some heinous shit.”

  “Uggghh. I hate when you’re like this, Gina! You’re always so negative. You’re just jealous that I’m going to have a great time hanging out with my friends, and you’ll have your book for company.”

  I sat up pissed. “Are you kidding me? Jealous. . . of what? Those people aren’t your friends. They smile in your face and talk about our black asses behind your back. Guess what? You straightening your hair isn’t going to change that fact. I might be a lot of things, but I promise you I’m absolutely not jealous! I have no desire to spend my time with superficial idiots.”

  Laurette snapped her head around, and her sharp intake of breath at my words meant I’d probably gone too far. The next thing I knew I saw stars. Laurette had never raised her hand to me and was always the one who intervened when Chang did, but not today. Today, she’d smacked me hard in the mouth.

  “Gina! So, we’re cursing and being disrespectful now? Watch your mouth and you better apologize to your sister!”

  My hand immediately went to my face. Shocked didn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling.

  Nina’s eyes went wide, and her mouth formed a perfectly shaped O. She was just as surprised as I was.

  My eyes teared up. “Apologize? For what? Telling the truth?” I was devastated that Laurette would lay a hand on me, but I held those tears back. “Nina needs to pull her head out of her ass, yes, I said ASS and get a clue. She’s almost seventeen years old!”

  Laurette wasn’t backing down. “I said, apologize right noooow young lady!”

  I wasn’t backing down either. I slammed my book closed, because there was no way an apology was coming out of me. She hurt me, and I wanted to hurt her too. “I will not, and you can’t make me! If I understand finances correctly, Chang pays your salary, and you are not my mother . . . you’re just the damn maid.”

  The color on Laurette’s face drained away. She turned ashen, and I immediately regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to apologize. I got up and left the room.

  *****

  That evening, I was alone in the house except for our staff. Nina hadn’t made it back from the dance yet, and Chang was still overseas on a business trip. He was always gone.

  What little conscience I had was bothering me. I needed to apologize to Laurette. I’d never been so disrespectful to her and honestly didn’t know what had gotten into me. After huffing and puffing about it and losing the internal battle, I finally crept down the stairs to find her in the library curled up in a chair by the fireplace reading a book. She was probably waiting for Nina to get home, so she could tell her all about the dance. I supposed I should apologize to her too. It wasn’t her fau
lt she was born with a soft heart and a need to fit in.

  I stepped into the darkened room. The orange glow of the fire was reflected on her face. “Laurette?” My voice cracked just a little. I wasn’t used to apologizing. When she glanced up from her book, her eyes lacked the anger from earlier.

  “May I come in?”

  She tipped her head slightly to the side and partially closed her book. “Are you asking me now? I thought I was just the hired help. I wouldn’t think I could grant you access to anything.”

  Rarely did I feel ashamed, but I was sure I turned several shades of red. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she was still a little pissed. The twinkle in her eyes as I came closer said differently. I was relieved. There were very few people in this world that I cared about other than myself, and Laurette was one of them.

  I dropped down onto the floor by her feet. Chang always said if you had something important to say, look the person directly in their eyes and say it—shifty-eyed people couldn’t be trusted—so that’s what I did. “I’m sorry. I was real bitc…” I stopped myself. Laurette hated foul language, and I’d developed a mouth on me over the last couple of years. “I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

  Laurette put her book to the side and scooted closer to the edge of her chair so that I could see her face more clearly.

  “No, you shouldn’t have, and you do know that I’m not apologizing right?”

  I nodded.

  “Good because if you’re ever disrespectful like that again, I’ll smack you even harder. Got it?”

  “Yes. I’ve got it.”

  Her voice softened. “Gina, I understand your frustration, because I know the root of it, but you have to learn that everyone doesn’t deal with things the same way as you. Nina is dealing with her reality the way that works best for her. Just because you two are identical twins doesn’t mean you are identical in thought.”