by Mary Hope
“Then let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed. You can stay here tonight,” he said. “Then in the morning, I’m going to take you to the clinic and have you checked properly.”
“Then I will get to see my cousin Tina?”
“Yes of course,” he said. And he meant that. But he also hoped that by tomorrow, he could convince her that he was the right daddy for her.
He took her into the bathroom, and had her sit on the edge of the bathtub. He pulled gauze and alcohol from under the sink. Then he bent down on one knee and very gently began to clean the skin on her thin arms.
“We really should have done this already,” he admitted. “But you looked so scared and hungry and I didn’t want to frighten you.”
“Frighten me?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“By touching you,” he said, and he reached up to wipe her cheeks with the gauze.
God she was beautiful.
Blake wanted to kiss her even then.
But immediately she looked down at the ground and blushed.
He stopped himself. He wasn’t going to push himself on the girl. But god he wanted to touch her in other ways, too.
“Is this okay?” gently cleaning the light scratches underneath hear heavy, beautiful brown hair. It had dried and glowed like dark honey and caramel underneath the track lights.
“Yes,” she said so meekly that it made him just want to take care of her and nothing else. She didn’t know it yet but she was already his entire world.
She’d already slid her shoes off under the dinner table, and her little toes squirmed on the tile floor beneath them. Her toenails were painted lavender and Blake swore he could smell something of the same emanating from her skin, her hair, perhaps even between her…
He refocused his eyes and shut his nose off. He had to focus on the task at hand. He wrapped several strips of gauze around the worst cuts on her arms, then let out a deep sigh.
“What is it doctor?” she asked.
There was still the issue or her soiled pants, but Blake wanted to bring it up carefully so as not to upset the little girl. He didn’t want to embarrass her, but he didn’t want her walking around in wet, dirty pants either.
“Nina I have dry pants… I might have a smaller pair that might fit you, though you might have to hold them up anyway. Either way, it would be better to have clean and dry clothes on than those.” He motioned to her wet pants.
Nina looked down at the large wet spot between her legs, parting her legs just a little so she could see what Blake saw.
“Oh.” Her cheeks turned beat red. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it. I was afraid of that storm and I could hear the lightning up above and it made me so anxious I just couldn’t help it.”
“No it’s alright sweetheart,” Blake said softly. He curled a lock of her hair behind her ear and it made Nina look up at him.
“It’s not that at all,” he said. “I just want to get you in something clean and warm and comfortable. But it’s okay that you got nervous and wet yourself.”
“It is?”
“Of course. If you’re that afraid of storms, you can’t help what your body does in response.”
He set his jaw, deep in thought. Then he said, “There’s a phobia, Nina; it’s called Astraphobia. It literally means to have an intense, uncontrollable fear of storms… specifically of lighting and thunder.”
“Really?” she asked curiously.
“Yep,” he confirmed, “I believe it’s sometimes called brontophobia. It has a few different names. Do you know what that means, Nina?”
“No,” she admitted. “What does it mean?”
“Well usually when a phobia has a number of names, it means that it’s fairly common. It means it has happened enough that people have come up with their own official terms for an observed phenomenon.”
Nina’s eyes were big and she hardly blinked as she stared at him.
She looked confused and he decided to simplify it for her. “It means you’re normal, Nina. It means alot of people get scared of storms. So there’s no shame in it. Does that make sense?”
Her eyes hit the floor again and she nodded. “Yea.”
Blake lifted her dainty chin so that her eyes rose to his. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Has this happened before Nina?”
“Before?”
“Have you urinated on yourself because of storms before?”
She let out an embarrassed laugh and tried to look away, but he held her face firmly so she would have to look at him. “Yes,” she said. “I have many times.”
Suddenly tears filled the edges of her eyes.
“What is it sweetie?” Blake asked.
The word sweetie made her eyes lock onto his.
“It’s just so terribly embarrassing, you know? I hate to wet myself like that, but I can’t stop it.”
“Shh,” he crooned to her. “It’s alright. You’re not doing anything wrong… but…”
“But what?”
“It’s painful to see you so upset about something you have no control over,” he said. “If there was a way to make you feel better about it, I would do it.”
“But there isn’t,” Nina whimpered.
“What if there was something we could do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Nina,” he let go of her chin, and edged himself towards the medicine cabinet. She watched him curiously and with a bit of caution, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
“Yes?”
“Nina,” he said, and he pulled out a pack of diapers he had stored. He only kept them in case of emergencies. He scooted toward her, lifting it up for her to examine.
“What are those?” she asked. “Diapers?”
“I keep these because I have many visitors who come with their littles… and sometimes they have accidents.”
“Accidents?”
“They wet themselves while they’re out with their daddy’s. In fact, it happens so often that I keep diapers up here for whenever it happens.”
“But… but they aren’t all afraid of storms are they?” she asked innocently.
Blake let out a laugh at her simple question. She was adorable, and Blake suspected that she had no idea. She had no idea how incredibly precious and sweet she was.
“No, they’re not all afraid of storms,” he said. “But they all have accidents.”
“Like me?”
“Yes,” he said, “just like you.”
She looked down at the bag of diapers.
“This way,” Blake said, “if a storm comes, and you can’t help yourself and you go potty… it’s okay because you’re protected.”
“Can I… try one?” she asked.
The question was a pleasant surprise to Blake and one that he did not expect.
He smiled. “Of course.”
Blake stood up.
“You are welcome to take a bath or a shower, first” he said, “and then put on a fresh diaper. I have towels. Then you will be clean and dry and ready for one.”
“Okay...is that okay?”
“Is what okay?”
“That I want to try one?”
“That’s why I offered them sweetie.”
“Thankyou.”
“I will find you some pajamas while you’re washing yourself,” Blake said. He turned the water on in the tub, then left her to shower.
He wanted so badly to help her wash her body, and to help her with her diaper, but Blake knew it was too soon. He contented himself with finding her proper pajamas.
When they went to town tomorrow, he’d make sure to get her proper clothes, but for now they’d have to make due.
When he returned, he tapped on the door softly. “Are you all clean?”
“Yea,” Nina called through the door.
“I’m going to set your pajamas on the counter. I’m going to open the door but I promise I won’t look, okay?”
“Okay.” Her voice was pensive. Unsure.<
br />
He opened the door just wide enough to place the clothes on the counter, then he shut the door.
He listened to his Nina get dressed, and though he was perfectly still with his arms crossed over his chest, Blake couldn’t wait for his little girl to join him again.
After a few minutes, Nina opened the door.
Her brown hair was damp, and it clung to her cheeks and her neck. The pajamas hung loosely on her small frame and she stood awkwardly in the doorway, holding a corner of the pants together so that they did not fall down her legs.
“How does it feel? Better I hope.”
Nina walked a few feet towards him, and with each step he could hear the crinkle of the diaper under the pajamas.
“It feels nice. Warm,” she said, looking down at where it crinkled. “Is it still storming outside?”
“Yes.”
She nodded. Her mouth curled in a half-smile. “Thank you,” she said. “It feels nice to know that even if the lightning comes, and I can’t help it… that I at least won’t make a mess on myself.”
“I’m glad sweetie,” Blake said. “That’s what they’re for.”
He wanted to tell her that if she did mess herself that he would help her wash, but he refrained.
Instead, he led her to a guest bedroom, and tucked her into the single bed. Then he sat on the side deep in thought.
“What are you thinking?”
“Do you really want to know the truth?”
“Yes.”
Blake let out a sigh. How much should he say? He figured that because she had told him the truth, he also owed her the truth. If there was ever any chance for them, it would have to be based on total trust.
“I’m thinking you might have come into my life for a reason, Nina,” he said. “I think you might be the reason I moved here to Littletown to begin with. I think they call it fate, my dear.”
DESPITE GETTING much sleep, Nina woke up early in the morning.
All night she couldn’t help but replay what the doctor had said. How it was fate that they met on the outskirts of Littletown. How he was one of the town doctors for daddy’s and their littles. And how she was disenchanted with the lifeless city and looking for a change. Perhaps even looking for a daddy to call her own.
It all fit together so perfectly, and he told her how she was beautiful and a dream come true right before his very eyes, a vision, and one he could not have perfected better himself if he’d been tasked with the job.
Nina wiggled a little bit in her diaper. It was strange to wear, but she had to admit to herself that it made her feel more secure during the storm last night. It felt nice to have a kind of armor on that would protect her from the world.
But the doctor who had taken care of her was too kind and handsome. It was all so surreal. What had she ever done to be treated like this?
What made her so special to him? Nina did not understand.
But if she was being honest with herself, she had to admit that she liked his affections. She liked the way he grew a beard and he smelled like aftershave and took care of her as though she were the only thing in the whole world.
She knew she wasn’t the only thing, but to the doctor she was. And she liked that feeling.
Nina bit her bottom lip.
She’d woken up briefly in the night and heard a storm in the distance, as though the one overhead had moved far away. But she couldn’t help it and when she heard the bolts of lightning crashing down in the distance, she had pulled the covers to her chin and urinated in her diaper.
She’d held the covers tightly to her chest, sometimes covering her face. The thunder continued for a little while before finally subsiding and it wasn’t until then that Nina had gotten any sleep.
But after it was all said and done she had gone potty in her diaper several times. She was absolutely soaked.
She couldn’t bring herself to get up once she’d urinated in her diaper. Blake had told her to get some rest and there was a tiny part of her that didn’t want to disobey him. She feared that if she got up that the doctor would know that she didn’t listen to him.
It was strange.
She had no reason to listen to him. But, she thought, what about the diaper? What if she’d just taken it off and thrown it in the trash? Would he be mad at her?
“Nina?” a male voice said at the doorway.
It was the doctor.
“Yes doctor Merrin?”
He held onto the doorway, staring at her across the room with warmth in his eyes. “Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Are you ready to have breakfast?”
“Yes!” she said.
“Good, because I have a surprise for you,” he said. He lifted his hand to her.
She took his hand and looked up at him. “A surprise?”
“Yes, but you’ll have to eat your breakfast first.”
It seemed like a fair compromise, and Nina was hungry. She nodded, and said, “Okay.”
“Good girl.”
For some reason, this show of approval made her smile. Nina couldn’t help it. The praise made her happy.
He noticed too, because he gently squeezed her hand, and led her to the dining room.
They ate their breakfast, and he cut her bacon up into small pieces. Sha thanked him and every single piece. It was so yummy.
The doctor was quite handsome and it made Nina fidget in her diaper. She had a hard time holding still. The light pouring in from the window made his brown hair glow and his blues seemed to pierce her heart every time he looked at her.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she said, and she pushed her bacon around on the plate.
“If you’re done with that, I’d like to take you into town.”
She popped a piece of bacon into her mouth, then sat back. “I’m done.”
He took their plates to the kitchen. When he returned, he was holding a purple bag. She hadn’t seen it before and she wondered where he had hid it while they ate.
“What is this?”
“It’s your surprise.”
She opened the bag to find a light blue skirt and a soft pink blouse inside, tucked neatly under white tissue paper. She pulled the pink blouse out. It had ruffles on the arms and it was very lovely. But it also confused Nina.
“What is this? Where did you get it?”
“Well if I’m going to take you into the clinic, then over to your cousins afterwards… you need something proper to wear.”
Nina blushed, remembering her old clothes and how they were all wet with her urine. “Thank you,” she said. “You didn’t have to do that for me, doctor.”
“It was no problem, Nina,” he said, “I wanted you to have them. But it also got me thinking… why didn’t you pack more clothes when you came out here?”
“I just wanted to stop in for a visit. I left all of my things in the city, at my apartment. I figured it would be easier to move it once I found work and a place to live in Littletown.”
“I see. Don’t you have a vehicle?”
Nina shook her head no. “City’s too crowded,” she said, “doesn’t make sense to have a car there. But I’d like one.”
“Well out here you’ll need a vehicle. Or… you’ll need someone to drive you everywhere.”
“But I’ve already got someone to do that,” she joked. She let out an embarrassed laugh. She really had only meant it as a joke, but it implied that he was going to keep driving her everywhere.
“Yes you do,” he said, and a dimple formed on his cheek as he smiled.
“Oh, I was kidding,” she said.
“I know you were,” he said, “but, I don’t mind driving you Nina. In fact, I’m really looking forward to it.”
“Really?”
“Sure,” he said, “it’s nice to feel useful. Needed.”
Nina still couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and she wanted to change the topic. “When did you get clothes for me?”
&nb
sp; “I left last night, after I put you to bed. It was dark, but still early enough and I knew of at least one clothing shop that would still be open.”
“You… did that just for me?” Nina whimpered. Her eyes watered.
He smiled. “What? You aren’t used to people caring about the things you need?”
“Well not particularly, no,” she admitted. “I’m sorry you had to drive in that terrible storm.” She closed her eyes and shuddered.
“Hey it’s okay,” he put his hand on her arm. It felt oddly comforting. “I didn’t mind at all. I was glad to do it. I just hope that you like what I picked out for you… would have been easier if you were there to help me.”
Nina laid the pink blouse onto the table, and pulled the light blue skirt out. “It’s so soft,” she said, running her hand over the beautiful fabric.
She noticed another layer of tissue paper inside the bag, and she pulled it up playfully. There were two white sneakers and two ruffled socks at the bottom.
“I hope they fit,” he said worriedly. He pulled them out of the bag, and laid them next to her bare feet. “May I?”
She blinked several times, then nodded yes. She held her foot out and wiggled her toes. He laughed and gently took her ankle in his hand. He slid the ruffled sock onto her small foot, then tested the fit of the shoe. It slid on easily and he sighed in relief.
“Do you like these?”
“Yes, I do actually,” she said. She was a bit surprised; she didn’t usually wear white sneakers, but with the sock it gave her a foot a delicate, feminine look.
But it made her nervous.
“What will people think? I’m too old to wear these kinds of things.”
“You’re in Littletown, Nina,” he said, “you’ll be surprised; it’s quite a small town. It’s more like a small community that happens to have a few stores.”
“And a clinic.”
“Yes,” he agreed, “and a clinic.”
“But, even though it’s a small place, won’t people make fun of me?”
“No, sweetie, that’s why this place exists,” he assured her. “Everyone that lives here lives this lifestyle.”
“The… daddy and little lifestyle?”
“Yes.”
Nina blurted the next question before she had a chance to think about the consequences.
“So does this make you my daddy?”