I want a relationship, not a one-night stand, and I think I’m ready. Since Travis, I’ve been so afraid to commit to another man again. A part of me still is. But seeing my friends getting their happy endings makes me want one too.
I’m not asking for much. I don’t know about walking down the aisle once more, but I’m ready to curl up to a man at nights instead of sending him from my bed. I want to wake up to the same face each morning. A man who challenges me sexually, who makes me feel alive.
The problem is, most good men are taken or gay. The rest are still in diapers. Finding someone my age is a needle-in-the-haystack challenge.
The water’s getting cold. I’ve been in the bath so long, my fingertips have shriveled. I empty the last glass of wine and push up from the tub. I’m still not ready for bed. I’ll probably catch up on today’s news, but if it’s too gloomy, I’ll watch some reality TV. There’s nothing like scripted drama; one heck of a distraction, which is probably what I need.
The doorbell rings as I wrap the robe around me. I glance on the clock on the bathroom wall. A minute after nine. Still early, but I’m not expecting anyone.
Curious, I tighten the belt and cross the bedroom floor, scamper down the stairs and enter the living room as it rings again. This time longer, more urgent, heightening my curiosity. I glance through the peephole, then lean against the door with a sigh.
Nate.
I’d ignored his calls all weekend, grateful he’d had the sense to stay away from me. But it seems he’s not as sensible as I thought, because he’s here, challenging my self-control.
Maybe, if I don’t answer, he’ll go away. Please, let him go away.
But as I tiptoe from the door, I hear him say, “I know you’re in there, Alison. Your car’s in the parking lot.”
Goddamnit.
“Go away, Nate. And I mean it.”
He rings the doorbell again. “I need your help.”
“With what?”
“It’s a long story. Can you let me in?”
I know a trap when I see one. “No. Go home.”
“It’s about work, I promise.”
“I need details, Nate. Details.”
His harsh sigh comes from the other end. “I think I’m about to lose the company, Alison.”
“What?” Is he trying to pull one over on me?
“I really need your help.”
“Ok…” If he’s telling the truth, I’ll help any way I can. “Come see me tomorrow, during normal office hours.”
“Oh, come on. Just for a few minutes. I promise.”
There’s a note of sadness in his voice that makes me open the door. But when I do, the devilish smile on his face makes me want to smack him.
“Bye, Nate.” I push the door, but he grabs the edge and eases it back.
“Invite me in.” Gone is the smile. In its place is a hard mouth that I’m tempted to kiss, and fire in his eyes that sends several degrees of heat through my body.
This is wrong. So, very wrong. But I open the door wider and letting him in.
“Whatever it is, be quick about it. I’m getting ready for bed.”
His eyes scan my body, slowly, arousing me. I’m more aware of my nakedness beneath the robe. And from the glimmer in his eyes, he suspects I’ve got nothing else on.
“Well?” I ask him, when his scrutiny continues. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I haven’t been with a man in a while and my body chooses this very moment to protest. Nate’s proximity helps none. I want him to say his piece and leave.
“Aren’t you going to offer me a drink?”
“No need. You won’t be here that long.”
Again, that mischievous smile before he takes a seat on my couch. “We’ll see about that.”
“Don’t make me regret letting you in here. Talk, then get out.”
He stares at me for a moment, his expression unreadable. “My company’s in trouble.”
I sit beside him, not too close, then tuck one leg under me, careful to keep the robe together. “What happened?”
He sighs. “Me, and my neglect. I haven’t been to the office since the funeral. Never been to a meeting, nor have I taken calls from any of the executives. I just couldn’t bear being around anything or anyone that reminds me of him.”
“Oh, Nate…” I knew he hadn’t taken his dad’s death well, but I didn’t realize it was this terrible.
“The company’s failing, and it’s my fault, because I haven’t been around. Now the team wants the board to vote me out.”
I shake my head with tsk. “They can’t do that. Have you checked the bylaws?”
“I read them today. Apparently, they can, if they have proof of my incompetence.” He falls against the seat, a sign of defeat on his face. “It’s been a complete shit show since dad died. What more do they need? I think I failed, him, Alison.”
His sudden flip is taking me for a loop. I expected having to remain on the defensive for his entire visit, but I let my guard down without realizing it. I reach across and take his hand. “Don’t you ever say that. You were grieving, Nate. Trust me, I understand. When I found out Travis had — when Travis and I divorced, I became useless for a while. I sent Jude to live with his grandparents for a few months, took time off from work and spent my days curled under the covers. Your situation’s much worse. You lost your dad, Nate. I know how close you were.”
He blows a heavy breath at my last statement, as if he’s releasing an internal burden. “I needed to hear that. No one else understands what I’m going through.”
“You’ve identified your shortcoming, which is a superb start. It means you’re ready to fix things.”
“I am. But I can’t help kicking myself.”
“Don’t. You want to honor your father’s memory? Show up at all times and represent your dad. You’re all he has left carry on his company. By the way, how bad is it?”
Another harsh breath leaves him. “We lost fifty-five percent in profits, compared to last year.”
“Shit…” It’s my turn to blow a rough breath. “Did you identify the issues?”
“Some. Mainly our construction department. There's been constant reports of inferior materials being used, or developments being completed way behind schedule. Long story short, our service quality no longer inspires confidence. Our clients are turning to the competition. That’s why I’m here,” he says, giving me a sad smile. “Thought you could work your magic.”
“Well, my first piece of advice, I’ll give you for free. You need to fire whoever heads your construction department. Get rid of the poison and move forward.”
“Ok. I’ll send a memo to HR in the morning.”
I release his hand with a reassuring smile. “See? You’re already acting like the boss you are. But the work's just beginning, Nate. Come see me in the afternoon, will you? Let’s discuss getting you out of this mess.”
He nods. “I’ll be there. Thank you, I appreciate it.”
“Don’t thank me yet!” I reply with a grin, pushing to my feet. “Wait until you get my bill. I don’t come cheap.”
He rises, coming around to stand before me. “You’re worth every single penny… and much more.”
I sense the sudden change in his tone. It’s no longer tinged with worry. Instead, it carries a seductive lilt. I’m also aware of the sexual tension that’s settling around us.
Oh, no, no, no…
“Thanks again.” His hug catches me by surprise. So does his hard-on brushing against me. I ease him off me and my eyes immediately drop to his crotch. Holy shit. The imprint of his cock against his jeans leaves no doubt. He’s definitely packing a solid one. The ache between my thighs worsens.
“Oh, my God.” I back away from him, clearing his pathway to the door. “You need to leave.”
He doesn’t move, just keeps looking at me. “Do you really want me to? Or is that an automatic response like I suspect it is?”
I let out a sharp laugh while wondering
why the heck I opened the door to him. I should have sent him and his problems away. “You’re asking for trouble, Nate.”
“Turns out I like trouble very much,” he says, coming towards me.
I retreat. “But is it worth losing your friendship with Jude?”
He shrugs. “Jude doesn’t need to know.”
“Oh…” I cross my arms with a raised brow. “So you want a fling. A fuck-and-go.”
“Um—” The guilt on his face gives me the answer I need. I’m disappointed and I don’t know why.
“Wrong stop, buddy. I’m not interested in a one-night stand, got it?”
“Ali—”
“Get out, Nate. Before I call my son and tell him what you’re up to.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Be gone. Now!” I throw the door open much harder than I intended, and it almost hit me on the way back.
He pauses at the door, as if he’s about to say something. Then he scoffs and exists.
My eyes are stinging with tears as I slam the door. I don’t know why I’m so emotional, but I never want Nate in my home again.
CHAPTER SIX
“I don’t know what to say except, you in danger, girl,” Karen says with a laugh. Fresh from her honeymoon, tanned and happy as a lark, she looks like a million bucks with her cute pixie haircut with bleached highlights. I guess getting a daily banging from that thirty-year-old stud of a husband will do that to a woman.
Again, a flood of envy takes over, but I push it aside. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s Karen. She almost booked a permanent stay in the nuthouse when she walked in on her husband of twenty-seven years with another woman—a younger woman, her daughter’s best friend. Worse, she found out about the mistress’s pregnancy weeks later.
She’s a helluva woman for being here still. And I’m glad she found love again. I just wish it was as easy for me.
“That’s some real danger, too,” Brooke chips in while stirring her teacup.
I met Brooke a few years ago at the gym. Like me, she was working on her revenge body after her five-year common-law relationship ended when her boyfriend got another woman pregnant. His betrayal would have been terrible enough if he and Brooke weren’t trying to have a baby for years.
My experience with Travis wasn’t the same as what she endured. Neither was Karen’s with Thomas. But we all knew pain, and it bonded us for life.
“I've seen him. He’s definitely sex on two feet,” Brooke continues, giving me a teasing grin. “I’ll take him if you don’t want him.”
“He’s a child,” I reply. Brooke’s just turned forty-one, so she’s a few years younger than Karen and I. Still, Nate’s too young for her.
“He’s a couple years younger than Aaron,” Karen says. “He’s not a child, buh-lieve me.”
“I’m not listening to you two.” I add some sugar to my tea while glancing at the spot where Nate hugged me the other night. I can still feel his cock pressed against me, hard and ready to do damage.
God damn… I wish the image, the longing would go away.
“Come on, live a little,” Brooke says. “Take that man and ride him like you want to.”
“How about you take your own advice? You’ve been single for ages. When will you get off the train?”
“When I’m good and ready. I still got time, unlike you,” Brooke replies, tossing her blond hair with a mouth pop.
“Ooooh. Shade!”
“Oh, Karen, don’t start. Alison, I’m messing with you, girl.”
I roll my eyes in a good-natured way. “It’s like water off a duck’s back, honey. I’m forty-six and looking damn fine. Those twenty-five-year-olds have nothing on me!”
“That’s right!” Karen says. “These young girls will try it and come for my man, but one glance at me and they’ll realize they don’t stand a chance.”
“But, don’t you worry sometimes? That Aaron may eventually lose interest?” I ask. I’m stunning, I know, but I can’t imagine Nate settling for me.
“Honey, Aaron knows what he’s got at home. I have what it takes to keep him.”
“Good for you.”
“Is that why you’re worried? Do you think Nate wants more than what you offer?”
“Oh, I know what Nate wants,” I reply with a scoff. “He wants a one-and-done.”
“Ohhhh.” Both women reply in unison.
“I can’t risk my relationship with Jude for a fuck. I want more than that now.”
“I get it,” Karen says.
“It’s a pity, though.” My voice dips as I lean in to them. “Because he’s got the goods, ladies. I’m telling you, he’s blessed.”
“Oh, damn,” Brooke says. “You’d better run. Once you get a taste, there’s no turning back.”
“Speaking from experience, are we?”
Brooke gives a sneaky smile. “I don’t kiss and tell, ever.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Have you talked to him since the other night?” Karen asks.
“I haven’t. We had an appointment the next day, but I gave his account to another manager.” I couldn’t bear being near him. Not with these raw, carnal thoughts eating me up. But when I tried reaching out to him later that day, he wouldn’t take my calls. I haven’t heard from him since then. “I think I hurt his feelings.”
Not that I care. Nate’s a big boy. I doubt he’s used to rejection, but there’s a first time for everything.
“Of course you hurt his feelings. He signed up for your expertise, not a substitute.” Karen shakes her head at me. “Girl, you’re wrong for that.”
“I doubt he’s upset over business though,” Brooke chips in. “It’s that damn roadblock you’ve got going.”
“He’ll get over it,” comes my casual reply, though, deep inside, I don’t want him to. Secretly, I like the chase. Though no good can come from it, the urge to give in to him grows stronger each day.
I know. I’m in trouble.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Nate
“Dude, whoever she is, that girl’s not worth wearing a hole in your living room carpet.”
“She’s not a girl,” I grumpily reply, slowing my pacing. “She’s a woman.”
Jude grins. “Ok, playa. But she’s still not worth destroying that carpet.”
If only you knew.
“Are you going to tell me who she is? I’ve never seen you so worked up over a woman.”
“I’m not worked up. I’m just…” What? I’ve been trying to identify my feelings since Alison kicked me out the other night. Disappointed? Yes. I really thought I would find my way into her panties—well, under her robe, since she went commando. But it proved harder than I thought it would. What’s worse, I think I offended her.
I made the wrong approach, thinking she’d was onboard for a fling. Big mistake. Her icy response instantly killed my erection and I’ve been kicking myself ever since.
Did I imagine her body’s response to me? No, I didn’t. I know when a woman wants me. Alison’s up there with the rest of them. But, her no-show at our meeting made it clear; she has no time for fooling around.
I can’t give her more. I don’t have what it takes to keep a woman like Alison. She’s experienced, sophisticated. I’m a wild and impulsive fuck-up who almost ruined my father’s company. There’s a man out there for her, but it’s not me.
But deep down, I wish I was. It’s crazy, I know, considering we have nothing in common except Jude, who would tear me a new asshole if he finds out I’m thinking of his mother like that.
Obstacles aside, Alison’s the woman I need in my life. She’s level-headed and smart, nothing like the girls I usually get with who want nothing more than spending my money and using my influence.
But I know better than to long for something I can’t have.
Ignoring her calls took great self-control, but I did it. It’s killing me though, trying to keep my distance. The more time passes, the greater my urge to take her.
�
�Yo.”
“What?”
Jude eyes me curiously. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
“You need help with this secret woman? Is that it?”
“Since when do I need help with a woman?”
He gives me a sly smile. “How old is she? I have a feeling she’s way out your league.”
“Way out, bro. I have no business being near her.”
“Wait, a minute.” Jude’s mouth sinks into a frown, “it’s someone’s wife, isn’t it?”
“Negative. That’s one line I’ll never cross.”
“Then, what’s the deal?”
It’s your frigging mom! I wanted to shout. Instead, I reply, “there’s no deal. I’m handling it.”
“There’s a dent in the carpet that says otherwise. What, are you in love with her?”
I shake my head. I don’t know how deep my feelings for Alison are, but I’m sure it's just lust.
“Did you hit it?”
Shit. If only he knows we’re talking about Alison. I shake my head once more.
Jude laughs, knocking the arm of the couch. “Now I get it. She gave you blue balls, didn’t she?”
“Fuck, no.” Although it wasn’t far from the truth. After leaving Alison’s, I took several cold showers to ease the erection that followed me home. It didn’t help. Nor did beating my meat. I tried getting laid, but it killed my vibe. I want Alison, no one else.
“Dude, only you can solve that problem, whatever it is. You’re so frigging mysterious. I’m your best friend; it’s totally uncalled for.”
“You’re a nosy son-of-a-bitch, that’s what you are. Look, she wants more than a fling, ok? And I’m nowhere near settling down.”
“Then move on, bro. She’s not the first woman who wants to pin you down.”
“Easier said than done. She’s already under my skin.”
“And you haven’t hit it? Damn, what did she do to you? Are you sure you’re not in love with her?”
I’m not. Although, during some crazy moments I think of coming home to Alison at the end of day, curling up in bed, making love, waking up with her in my arms...
Falling for My Son's Best Friend: An Age Gap BWWM Forbidden Romance Page 3