She has this nurturing warmth that makes me want bury myself in her. And no, I’m not looking for a mommy figure. My mother is still alive and kicking, currently on vacation in the Caribbean. We have an awesome relationship, so I’m not looking to fill a void. It’s just that since that night, I been having a crazy urge to leave my wild lifestyle behind. I’ve done it all. There’s nothing left out there for me to conquer. But is Alison the one to start my new life with? If she is, how do I tell Jude?
She isn’t. She can’t be. It would have been great if we had a secret entanglement and moved on. Jude would be none the wiser. But a relationship? I can’t destroy our friendship, or come between Jude and Alison.
I need to leave her alone.
But I don’t want to. Not one bit.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I ring the buzzer to Alison’s office, my palms a little sweaty and my heart racing like a thoroughbred on the track. I’d just concluded a meeting with her team down the hall and couldn’t resist seeing her before leaving.
It still bums me out she wants nothing to do with me. Not even on a professional level. Damn, I must have gotten under her skin that night, and not the way I intended. I need to fix it.
There’s another buzz and the door opens. I enter to her smile, which instantly fades when she sees me.
“I thought it was Kelly.” She removes her glasses and covers one hand with the other on the desk. “What are you doing here?”
“I just finished meeting with Sara and the—”
“I know. I meant, what are you doing in my office?”
I’m not used to her icy demeanor. Alison has always been light-spirited and friendly. Now, she’s looking at me like I’m a stranger who wandered into her space.
I didn’t think she’d respond to my come-on this way. Especially since we both know she wants me. But, I get her reservations and I respect them; I just wish this brick wall didn’t exist.
“I wanted to apologize for the other night at your apartment. I overstepped my boundaries and I’m sorry.”
She stares at me for a beat, then her chest inflates as she takes a deep breath. “Apology accepted.”
I smile, standing there feeling awkward as hell, not knowing what to do next.
“Is that all?”
“Is this how’s it going to be, Alison? One mistake, and you’re cold as ice. We’ve known each other for how long?”
She rises from her seat, giving me a stern glower. “This is me creating boundaries, okay? For years I allowed your flirting because it seemed harmless. No more. This has gone far enough.”
While she’s talking, the subtle movements cause a slight juggle of her breasts. Try as I might to not stare, my eyes keep lingering on them. The deep V of her blouse does little to hide her cleavage, giving me a peek of what’s inside. The sudden urge to take her breasts in my mouth is so great. I lick my lips, half-realizing.
Alison notices my gaze and her eyes widen. “Get out!” She crosses her arms, blocking the view. But the heat in her eyes is unmistakable. She’s turned on. It lights a fire inside me.
Ignoring my resolve to leave her alone, I cross the floor, taking several long steps. Her eyes are like saucers as I approach.
“What are you doing?”
Backing up, she gives me a sharp glare, but that doesn’t stop me. I sense her inner turmoil, but the lust is clear as glass. If I pass on this opportunity, I’ll beat myself forever.
Without replying, I reach for her. She struggles a little before I tighten my grip and crush her body against mine.
“Nate, no.” But the words are soft, unconvincing.
“Yes.” I palm the back of her head and take her mouth, seeking to possess her with my hard, hungry kiss. She moans, her body taut, still struggling to accept her need for me. I won’t release her until she succumbs.
Soon she does, with a whimper, her tongue delving inside my mouth for a taste. She takes another, then another, and soon the solid strokes triggers a hard-on.
Grabbing her butt, I dry humped her, rolling into her, giving her a preview of what I had in store. Her body tremors a little. She deepens the kiss, bumping and grinding against my cock.
I’m so hot and horny, so close to the edge. I want to take her on that desk so bad. Spread her out, plant every inch of my cock inside her wet heat.
But then her cell phone rings, interrupting the moment. Alison stumbles from me with a gasp.
“Shit.” She reaches over the desk for the phone while fanning herself. Glancing at the screen, she hesitates, then answers, pressing it to her ear. “Hi, Ethan.”
Who the fuck is Ethan? From her awkward stance, I’m sure he’s not just a friend. A flood of jealousy surges through me, evoking a primal urge to tear the unknown man apart.
“Uh… yeah, we’re still on for tonight.” She glances at me, then turns her back. “Pick me up at seven.”
The phone drops to the desk with a thud when she ends the call. “You need to leave.” Her back's still turned, shoulders slumped. She’s regretting the kiss, I know.
“Who's Ethan?”
Alison whirls to face me. “None of your business. I said, go.”
But I fold my arms across my chest and part my legs. She lets out a frustrated breath. “What do you want from me, Nate?”
“How about the truth? That you want me as much as I want you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Really?” I cock my head, giving her a look of disbelief. “I’m almost sure you kissed me—devoured my mouth just now. So, what’s the deal?”
“The deal is, you caught me in a vulnerable position.”
“Seems you’ve been having quite a few of them lately.”
“It won’t happen again, trust me. Don’t come near me again, Nate. I mean it. Sara and the team are handling your account. I’ll give my input remotely. We’ll get your business back in shape. That’s all you need from me.”
“That’s not all I need.”
She clamps her eyes shut. “Nate—”
The buzzer sounds before her assistant steps in with a folder and a smile that fades when she sees me. “Sorry, didn’t realize you had company. I’ll come back.”
“No, need. He’s just leaving.” Alison gives me a dismissive wave. “Bye, Nate.”
I’ll back down, but not for long. Since seeing Alison in the bar that night, there’s been a fire under my ass, a wake-up call from the wasted life I’ve lived for so long. Alison inspires me to want success, to lift the company to a level that would make dad proud. No other woman has ever evoked such ambition.
The levels I could achieve with her in my life…
I’m not giving up. For once in my life, I know what I want, and it’s Alison.
CHAPTER NINE
Alison
I twist in the mirror, giving my image a once-over with a sigh. Its almost seven. Ethan will be here any minute. But instead of the expected excitement, all I feel is a slight depression.
I thought the body-hugging red dress with the keyhole neckline would inspire the sexy vibe I need for my date. But it doesn’t. I doubt anything will.
It’s been this way since Nate’s been to my office. Two days, this lead-like feeling has been on my chest. I can’t breathe right. Can’t think straight. Nothing’s been the same since he kissed me.
Again.
And I let him. Didn’t even put up a fight. The issue is, I’ve been aching for more than his kiss. Images of his hard, drilling cock has kept me up both nights.
It’s not right; thinking these dirty, sinful thoughts. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. But I think it's too late. I’ve already let him in.
Well, I have to get him out, don’t I? This is a disaster waiting to happen, I’m sure of it. There are so many factors at play. His age, for one. Kudos to Karen for finding love with a thirty-one-year-old, but a man Nate’s age isn’t interested in settling down. That’s what I’m looking for; not any hanky-panky. I don’t want to compete with youn
ger women for his attention. That’s below me.
But even if he wanted to settle down with me—which is a helluva stretch, Jude would never approve. My son knows his best friend better than I do. With Nate’s wild behavior, I doubt Jude would trust he’d treat me right.
I need to forget him. I’m wasting my time with these sinful thoughts.
My cell phone rings. It’s Ethan; right on time as he’s always been. We dated briefly in college before Travis swept me off my feet with his sweet words. If only I’d known…
Ethan and I didn’t part ways on a decent note. He’d been crazy upset when I chose to be with Travis. I lost count of the times I tried to apologize. He didn’t want to hear it, or have anything to do with me.
So it surprised me when he reached out to me on Facebook a few days ago. He had changed little; still wore his brown hair in the shoulder-length, wavy style as he did in college. There are a few gray streaks lining it now, and some wrinkles around his green eyes. But he’s still just as handsome. He’s never been married, another surprise. I thought he’d have the wife and kids on lock by now.
“Hey, I’m coming down. Give me a few minutes, ok?”
I end the call after his reply and tuck the phone in my purse. Giving my silk-pressed hair a smooth-over with my hands, I apply fire-red lipstick and dab on perfume. With a final spin in the mirror, I leave my apartment.
It’s time to forget about Nate. Starting with my date with Ethan.
***
“I heard about Travis. I’m sorry he hurt you,” Ethan says, reaching across the table for my hand. I allow him to take it, hoping it would generate the effect I need. It doesn’t. There’s none of the stomach-fluttering, breath-stealing sensation I had with Nate.
“Thanks. But it’s been ten years. I’m over it.” I gently pull my hand away and glance around. We’re sitting in a romantic restaurant, with soft music and lights, great food and wine, a topnotch, intimate service, and all I want is to head home.
Well… that’s not true. What I want is Nate in my bed. But I can’t have him. I shouldn’t. It does nothing to kill the urge, though.
I push those thoughts to the back of mind and try to focus on Ethan. He’s wearing a suit—an overkill, but it covers his slender, athletic body well. “So, Ethan. How come you’ve never been married?”
He hunches his shoulders, staring directly at me. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m waiting for you.”
Again, nothing. I feel nothing inside. I thought with our history there would be an attraction, at least. But I smile weakly. “Maybe.”
He opens his mouth to reply, but something behind me catches his gaze. Probably another woman. These men…
I place my napkin on the table, a sign that I wanted to leave. There’s nothing between me and Ethan. I doubt there will ever be. Time to call it a night before he thinks he’s getting some tonight.
A whiff of cologne grace my nostrils. A familiar, spicy scent. Nate’s scent. I’d know it anywhere. Before I react, he appears by my side with a chair in his hand.
“Hey, Alison.” He puts the chair to the table and takes a seat.
“Nate. What are you doing here?”
He grins, a wicked and daring smile that gives me goosebumps. “I followed you from your apartment.”
“Alison? What’s going on?”
For an instant, I forgot about Ethan sitting there. He’s looking at me with raised brows, like he’s my man and I owe him an explanation. Uh, pump the brakes, mister.
“Can you get the bill, please? I need to talk to Nate.” I slap Nate’s shoulder, rousing him to his feet, then grab his hand and pull him through the dining hall and out the side entrance. There’s a walkway flanked by high hedges that leads to the parking lot. Releasing him, I give him a slight push and he backs against the hedge with that teasing smile in place.
“Have you lost your mind? You ruined my date.”
“Did I?” He frowns, jerking his head back. “From where I sat, it didn’t seem like you enjoyed it. Not even a minute.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Just about the same time as you. I watched your entire night from the bar. But, shit… your date’s boring as hell. I lost count of the subtle eye rolls and the yawns you tried to hide with the back of your hand.”
“Something’s wrong with you, I swear. Don’t you have something interesting to do, like bang a twenty-year-old?”
He vigorously shakes his head. “Nope. I’m done with all that.”
I don’t even want to know what that means. “Go home, Nate. I’m still on my date. If you interrupt me again, I’m telling Jude.”
A flash of hurt crosses his face, so fast I almost missed it. I ignore the drop in my stomach and back away. “For the last time, just stay away from me.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
Oh, Lord, help me. He’s not making it easy. “I don’t care what you want. This. Is. A bad. Idea!” I clap my hands with each word, driving home my point. “Its not happening, ok?”
“Oh, thank God.” Ethan’s voice sounds behind me and I turn to his relieved face. “For a moment, I thought you actually hooked up with him. Because that…” he wags his finger with a tsk, “I wouldn’t look at you the same, Alison.”
“And what the hell do you mean by that?” I ask, my arms akimbo.
Ethan looks at me like I’ve grown horns or two heads. “Are you for real, asking me that? He’s a kid, for crying out loud!”
“Oh, fuck you,” Nate says behind me. “I’m more of a man than you are. You couldn’t handle Alison on a stupid date, you boring fuck. Do you think you can keep up with her in bed?”
“Nate!” I whip around to him in a frenzy. “Stop!”
“Wait, a minute. Did you fuck him, Alison? Because that’s borderline pedophilia.” He looks at me with pity. “Travis did a hell of a job on you, didn’t he?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, Ethan, but no, I didn’t. And I’m not going to. Ever.” I direct the last part of my statement to Nate with a stern glare, then turn to Ethan once more. “And just so we’re clear, I won’t fuck you, either, you judgmental piece of shit. Screw you for bringing up Travis and what he did to me. Our date ends here. I’m calling a cab.”
“Come on, Alison.” Gone is the hard expression from a minute ago. He’s smiling now, contrite. He knows he went too far. “I’m sorry, ok? It’s just that this… you and him, it’s disturbing.”
“Bye, Ethan. Thanks for the free dinner.”
“Alison—”
“I said, bye!” I flip him the bird before moving off. Then I realize Nate’s already left. There should have been a sense of relief that once and for all, he’s gotten my message.
Instead, the ache in my heart worsens.
CHAPTER TEN
Alison
I absolutely hate shopping during rush hour, which is why I’m at the supermarket just before closing time, picking up groceries for the next couple days. I like fresh food, as much as possible, which means I grocery shop about three days each week. I don’t mind, as long as there’s no crowd.
I’m almost at the checkout counter when I realize I forgot the iceberg lettuce that’s on my list. I double back to get it. When I spin my trolley to head to the front, I spot Nate at the pasta shelf with a bottle of sauce in his hand, his handsome face screwing as he reads the contents. I contemplate taking the other way so I don’t walk past him, then decided, what the hell, it’s a free country.
I haven’t seen him for a week now, since the night at the restaurant. He hasn’t called, or texted. There were no flowers at my doorstep. None of his usual shenanigans. It disappoints me, his absence, but it’s for the best. Whatever feelings I have will eventually fade away.
It has to. I need to breathe free once more.
I watch as he bends down to retrieve another jar, his fitted jeans stretching across his butt. Do I say hi, or act like I haven’t seen him?
Say hi. It’s the mature thing to do
.
Obeying my inner voice, I summon a smile and approach him. He looks up as I draw near, his expression transforming from the concentrated look, to surprise, then a dark frown. I guess he’s still unhappy after I flat-out rejected him in the presence of another man.
“Alison.” His cool, nonchalant tone contradicts with his fiery expression.
“Nate. How are you?”
“I’ve been better.” He waves the bottle. “Just getting stuff for dinner.”
“Wait a minute, you cook?”
He purses his mouth and stares at the shelf as if he’s contemplating how to respond. “There’s no need for small talk, okay? Just keep it moving.”
“You don’t need to be rude, Nate.”
“I’m not being rude. I’m granting your wish and keeping my distance. You, coming up to me in that dress, you’re not fucking helping.”
I glance down at my outfit. It’s a flirty, spaghetti-strapped dress that ends mid-thigh and shows a little extra cleavage. A little too much for grocery shopping, but I wanted some sexiness to lift my spirits. I didn’t expect to run into Nate.
“Sorry.” I grip the trolley handle, about to push off. “Well, it was nice seeing you.”
It seems like he’s about to say something, then changes his mind. Instead, he gives me a nod. I feel his eyes on me as I walk away and it unsettles me. Again, that stifling feeling takes over. Just a minute around Nate and I’m losing control.
Once I clear the checkout counter, I fish in my purse for my car keys and pepper spray. At this time of night, I can’t be too careful. But I get to my car without trouble until I start the engine and drive off. The vehicle vibrates, and there’s a grinding sound on the asphalt.
Shit. A flat tire. And I didn’t replace the spare I used last week. What am I going to do? Roadside assistance could take hours. The Lord knows I lack that required patience tonight. But, I call them anyway.
Let the wait begin…
I lean against my steering wheel with a curse, giving myself a mental slap for being so careless, when a knock on my window pulls my attention. I reach for the pepper spray, ready to let it loose, but then I realize it’s Nate.
Falling for My Son's Best Friend: An Age Gap BWWM Forbidden Romance Page 4