by A. M. Brooks
“No,” she said. “You’re right. He asked me to winter formal. I need to tell her.”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “Because it would be super awkward if he showed up to get you and she thought he was there for her.”
“Shut up!” she said laughing with me.
“Seriously though,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. “When did this start?”
“It’s been a while,” she acknowledged. “You and Darrian have had a lot going on, and I didn’t want to burden you with my dilemma.” I felt like a bad friend. I never wanted to be that girl, especially to the only person who had really been by me through everything.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I really want to know all the details.”
The next twenty minutes, Lily gushed about how things had heated up between her and Ethan over Halloween. He admitted to having feelings for her and they started sneaking coffee dates and went to a movie. They had yet to be intimate, Roman’s party was the first time they had gone that far. For as much as I knew about Ethan, that had to mean something special.
“Well, at least we can dress shop together,” she said, bouncing out of her seat. We threw our stuff in the trash before getting in her car.
“What do you mean?” I asked confused.
“The Snowball Dance, winter formal,” she said, looking at me funny now.
I smiled. “No idea what you’re talking about.”
“Aren’t you going with Darrian?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, he hasn’t mentioned anything.
“Well, I’m sure he’s just assuming you are. Guys are not good at planning.” She rolled her eyes. Turning up her radio, I laid my head back against the headrest. My headache was gone, thanks to the kick of caffeine and food. I still felt tired and mentally drained but wasn’t feeling like I was dying.
When we pulled into a parking spot, I noticed that several people were watching us. Lily and I both shared a glance before climbing out. Tossing my bag over my shoulder, I walked toward the main stairs. I stopped short when I spotted Darrian standing at the top of the steps holding a bouquet of roses. I blushed as catcalls were made and I walked closer. Of course Darrian wasn’t fazed. He winked and smiled, my favorite smile. His silver hoop pushed out with the gesture.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I stepped in front of him.
“Nora Sutton!” he shouted out loud before laughing. “Will you please be my date to the Snowball Dance?” He leaned down so we were more level.
Giving him a smirk, I shouted, “Yes!” as my answer.
He scooped me up off my feet and kissed my mouth gently before setting me back down again. It was the single most romantic gesture of any kind I’ve ever received. I knew my cheeks were red, but my heart fluttered in my chest.
“Good,” he replied before placing his arm around my shoulders and leading me inside. We ignored the clapping and whooping from Ethan. Darrian walked me to my locker like normal.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked while he waited for me to put my books away.
“Much,” I answered, giving him a small smile. I didn’t want to lie to him and the truth was his Snowball proposal had increased my spirits more than I had anticipated. I cared about Darrian and knew I could fall for him. Asking me to a dance so publicly had me thinking he may have feelings for me too.
“Good,” he said, kissing my cheek. “I swear Roman and I talked about it all day yesterday. He feels bad and has no idea what happened.”
“Oh, you were with him yesterday?” I asked.
“Yeah, we hit the courts then chilled at his place with some friends.” He shrugged it off. We walked in silence to my classroom. I debated what to say. Again, the fear of losing what we had gained washed through me. Roman telling Darrian all day how bad he felt made me nervous and gave me a queasy feeling again. I definitely didn’t trust the guy and was not partying there anymore. Before I knew it, we were at the classroom door.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, stopping me from entering. I looked up at him, nodding.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to put a smile on my face.
“Okay,” he said, kissing me before heading to his own class.
Walking in, I slumped down in my seat, staring out the window. The classroom continued to fill up. I felt people walk past me and a few said hello. I ignored it all, lost in my own thoughts.
“Nora.” A hand moved in front of my face. I jumped. Elijah laughed. “You okay?” he asked. I was really starting to get sick of that question.
“Fine,” I told him smiling.
“I heard you had a rough time Saturday,” he said, leaning toward me whispering. I shook my head.
“Must have been a bad one,” I said quietly. He nodded before sliding back into his seat. I was saved from talking anymore when the teacher walked in. I was thankful she was on time today. Sinking in my chair, I continued to draw doodles as we were lectured and assigned homework. By the time the bell rang, I had made up my mind to keep the demons inside. I wasn’t sure if my memories were correct and barely remembered anything at all. I would chalk this incident up to stupidity. I would never do drugs ever again. Even ones that weren’t illegal. I would not go to Roman’s ever again. I knew it would probably be a fight between Darrian and me at some point. Right now, I didn’t care. I could handle it all, I just needed to be smarter.
Shiny black material hugged my legs as I twirled around to see the back of the dress one more time. The straps were not twisted and thankfully there were no underwear lines visible. Small curls touched my neck from the low twisted bun at the base of my head. Turning around again, I ran my hands down the front of the dress one more time. I remembered picking it out two weeks ago after the public proposal from Darrian. That weekend Lily had insisted we start shopping. I wasn’t a huge fan of shopping for dresses so when I grabbed this one first and tried it on, I was happy to find it was perfect. Lily had seconded my opinion. The neckline was low enough for a necklace but not enough to show cleavage. The material gathered to one side embossed with rhinestones before flowing down to the ground. My matching black ballet flats barely peeped out under the material.
“Stop overthinking,” Lily said, joining me in the mirror. We had decided to get ready at my house together to avoid any weirdness with Taylor. Lily had told Taylor about going with Ethan the following weekend as well. We were both surprised when Taylor laughed in Lily’s face saying that she was going with a different senior.
“You’re sure the makeup isn’t too much?” I asked again, second guessing myself. I usually opted for the less is more approach, but with this special occasion, I had tried something different. Unlike most girls, I learned from tutorials and magazines about makeup without my mom or another adult female around to teach me.
“The smoky eye is in and you barely have any lip color on,” Lily stated, circling her finger in front of my face. I laughed.
“Okay, okay,” I huffed, rolling my shoulders back and looking once more before stepping toward the door. “Ready to head down?” I asked.
“Yup,” she said, grabbing her matching silver clutch off the bed. Lily looked stunning as well. Her royal blue dress was strapless with a sweetheart neckline and unlike mine, her dress cut right above her knees. She had left her hair down in long curls. We both had decided flats was the way to go and hers were silver with rhinestones. We both also sported flashy pairs of earrings. “Let’s get some pictures!”
As we walked down the stairs, whistles and claps sounded. I felt my face blush and a smile formed that I couldn’t hold back. My dad stood at the bottom of the stairs snapping pictures on his phone. Ethan was also there early to pick up his date. He was pulling off the white tux with royal blue vest and tie nicely.
“You look beautiful, honey,” my dad said, pulling me into a side hug. It was rare he showed this much affection and the sentiment caught me off guard.
“Didn’t you ride with Darrian?” I asked Ethan who was puttin
g a pink corsage on Lily’s hand.
“He was finishing up some stuff then said he’d meet us here,” Ethan replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Oh,” I said confused. All week we’ve talked about the plan for tonight. The boys would meet us here, do the obligatory pictures, we’d go out to eat then head to the dance. Not once did Darrian mention he had anything going on before this.
“Well let’s get some pictures of you three and the couple out of the way. We can get more when your date gets here, Nora,” my dad reasoned. He was father of the year tonight apparently. I tried to push the mean thoughts away but felt weird he was being so attentive. I smiled and nodded anyway.
An hour later we had done pictures and ended up ordering a pizza while we waited. Ethan had texted Darrian a few times and so had I. We both got the same reply, “On my way.” Ethan and my dad talked about basketball and seemed to be getting along okay. Lily kept shooting me sympathetic smiles and squeezed my hand. The material of my dress started to feel too clingy like I could suffocate. Unlike everyone else, I only managed to eat one piece of pizza because the nerves in my stomach were making me feel queasy. I was mad at Darrian I realized. He knew we had plans and a whole evening planned. Doubt swarmed in my mind. I thought this was a romantic evening for us and our relationship, but maybe I was fooling myself.
I interrupted the conversation. “Let’s just go,” I said, standing up suddenly.
“You sure?” Lily asked.
“We can wait,” Ethan said reassuringly. “I can go call him if you want?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Just text him we’ll meet him there. We’re already over an hour late.”
“Nora—” my dad started, but I cut him off.
“Seriously, you guys, let’s go. We’ll have no time to dance if we wait all night.” I grabbed my clutch off the table and waited for everyone to follow. Ethan and my dad shook hands before he and Lily walked out the door.
“Sweetheart.” My dad turned me to face him. “Are you okay? Want me to drive you?”
I shook my head and looked away so I wouldn’t cry. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m sure I can ride with Ethan and Lily.”
“Okay,” he said, giving me a sympathetic look and squeezed my shoulder one last time, “You look beautiful,” he said.
“Thanks,” I mumbled before leaving the house. Ethan had waited for me. I jumped in the back of his rented Cadillac. They both were quiet in the front.
“Sorry to third-wheel with you guys,” I told them, feeling bad I was bringing the mood down.
“No worries, bestie,” Ethan said, catching my eyes in the rearview mirror. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but neither did mine.
The Snowball Dance was held at the town country club. Even I had to hand it to the committee who had outdone themselves. Fluff and snow outlined the dance floor, white draping hung from the ceiling twined with clear Christmas lights. The best decoration was the dangling glittered snowflakes in different sizes and shapes. It looked magical.
“Do they always do dances here?” I asked Lily as we walked in.
“Except prom,” she nodded. “You think this is good, wait ‘til prom. They have a contract with the Shoreplace Hotel downtown.”
I raised my eyebrows. I also wasn’t surprised. Whatever normal high schools were doing it appeared they did it ten times better in Araminta.
“Shall we dance?” Ethan said smiling.
We nodded enthusiastically and followed him to the floor. A few songs later I felt my mood increasing. I was still upset that Darrian had yet to show up but was trying to ignore the pain by smiling and having fun. Whitney’s boyfriend made it back to take her to the dance and I met him. He was the total opposite of who I had pictured her with. His long brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he wore a black dress shirt untucked with dark grey pants. A leather cuff bracelet adorned his wrist and a cross earring hung from his ear. He was crazy about Whitney though, watching her every move, getting her punch, and dancing every time she wanted to. I shook my head remembering how worried she had been about long distance when I first met her.
Everyone in the crew was there except Darrian. I ignored Mikayla and Taylor’s snide looks and giggles when they looked at me or walked past me. Hannah was glued to their side sending me apologetic looks when they weren’t looking. I shook my head, not able to believe I said we could be friends again. Hannah was a sheep following the flock. I understood she was concerned about her mom, but it felt like a betrayal.
It looked like I had been stood up and I was starting to believe it. Pulling my cell phone from my clutch one more time I looked at the blank screen. Nine o’clock flashed back at me. I sighed, shoving it back into my purse.
“Fuck,” I heard Elijah say under his breath.
His eyes were on the main entrance. Following his gaze, I felt my heart stop. Darrian, Roman, and two other guys I recognize from the parties at Roman’s, Cody and Marcus, stood in the doorway. One look at Darrian had my heart thudding again as more people turn to look at them. It’s clear as day they are high, intoxicated, or both. I wasn’t even sure how Roman got in as he isn’t in high school anymore. Ethan and Elijah headed over to them and I followed, lifting the hem of my dress off the floor so I could move quicker to keep up.
“D, man,” I heard Elijah talking to Darrian. He looked around. Sure enough, a crowd was paying attention. “Let’s go this way.” He tried pulling his cousin to a nearby room. Darrian ripped his arm away.
“Chill cuz.” His glazed eyes lit up with a smile. “We’re ready to party. This is a party, right?” The other guys nodded and cheered.
“Dude, let’s just go,” Ethan tried. “The after-party is at our place we can go there now. Coach is inside, man.”
“Pshh,” Darrian laughed. “You think I’m worried about Coach? Me?” He laughed again.
“Darrian,” I said his name and his gaze instantly snapped to me.
“Oh, hey baby,” he said, sliding his arms around my frame. I went rigid, the smell of whiskey rolled off his breath surrounding us. “You look pretty,” he told me as his hands slid down to cup my bottom. Quickly I stopped his roaming hands, pulling away.
“Darrian,” I tried again. “Ethan’s right, we should leave. You could get in trouble.”
“Trouble for what,” he laughed. “We’re just having a good time. Right guys?” Again, the guys were laughing and joking. I had avoided Roman when I walked over, but when our eyes met his were dark and humorless even though he wore a smirk.
“You’re drunk,” I stated, looking back at the guy my heart beat for. “You’re high.”
His face clouded over, the drunken smile disappearing. “So what Nora,” he shouted, stepping back from me, I felt the loss of his body heat. “You have to make everything a big deal? Nobody cares. I’m a king. The King,” he spit the words out.
“Your coach would care if he catches you like this,” I said back, trying to keep my voice calm, but the anger is rising in my chest. “Jesus fuck Darrian, did you drive like this? What if you had hurt someone or yourselves?” One of the other guys snorted.
“You’re overreacting just a little, don’t you think?” Darrian snapped. The mask was in place, his eyes cold.
“How am I overreacting when you’re putting your future at risk?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“My future,” he stated, slapping his hand over his heart, I jumped. “It’s my fucking future. What I do has nothing to do with you.”
I opened my mouth to reply.
“No,” he said, dismissing me. “You don’t get to come over here and tell me how to live my life. You’ve been a pain in the ass for the past month about this. What I do doesn’t concern you. Jesus, you’re like a leech that doesn’t go away.”
Oooos sounded around us. Red flooded my face and vision. I wasn’t going down like last time.
“Screw you, Darrian.” I was practically seething and crying at the same time, “At least I’m not throwing
my dream away on washed up friends to score so I don’t have to actually try for something.”
His jaw twitched. The color of his irises completely gone as his gaze darkened. I braced myself for his anger. I saw Ethan in my peripheral go rigid. Elijah was shaking his head on my other side. How were these guys letting him destroy himself? They were friends, hell they were family.
“Leave,” Darrian gritted out.
“No,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “Not unless you come with me. Out those doors before your coaches or the principal sees you.” My hands fisted into the material at my side.
He straightened again and took a step back. “Sure,” he nodded. Another smirk worked over his face. “Why don’t we just do this here.” He started unbuttoning his coat jacket. As he pulled his black dress shirt from his pants what he was doing finally dawned on me. The crowd of guys behind him were smiling and laughing at my embarrassment.
“Stop, Darrian,” I begged. I knew my voice sounded broken, sobs were ready to break free. He promised he wouldn’t do this again.
“D,” I heard Ethan say quietly to no avail. I heard the zipper on his pants lower. I turned my face away.
“No worries, E,” Darrian laughed. “We can all take a turn. I’m sure Sutton won’t mind, will you? It’s one thing you’re at least good at.” His words were coated in disdain as they pierced my heart. I turned back to face him, wiping away my tears.
“You promised,” I reminded him in a last-ditch effort to save the fragile bond we had started again.
He smirked again before moving closer to me. “We’re done here. If I see you in the halls, you better turn and go the other way.” He stepped back again, making a show of zipping up his pants and pulling his jacket back in place. “You should leave, Sutton, before the guys think you’re willing to stick around for more.” He chuckled and a few “not my taste,” “I don’t do sloppy seconds,” sounded around us.
I turned and fled the room. Their laughs followed behind me, but I didn’t care. I needed to leave, to get out. I needed fresh air.
“Nora.” Lily was at my side instantly. “Come on.” She ushered me outside.