by A. M. Brooks
“Fuck, I love spring,” he said before reaching under my dress to push my panties to the side. “I love this dress,” he said between the kisses he pressed against my collarbone then down to my chest.
My eyes closed at his sexy words and my head tilted back. Carefully, he moved us farther into the closet until I was propped against a cart. The small space is stuffy and smells like lemon cleaning products. I hid a smile unable to believe I was actually going to let this happen here of all places. Even more, I wanted it to happen. The sound of a condom wrapper tearing open brought me back before I felt him enter me. We moved together in our dark space, mouths clashing and hands roaming. It was perfect in our own messed up way. No matter how many times we side-stepped our feelings the push and pull eventually led to moments like this. Moments where we sank into each other and left behind the outside world. By the time we both came down from this high a tiny piece of my heart felt reconnected to his.
Tilly’s was busy as always on a Saturday morning for breakfast, Darrian had insisted we go though. He loved breakfast. I also think he knew I held some sentimental value to this place as it was the first place we ate together.
“What color do I have to wear again?” he asked after shoveling in a huge bite of pancakes. We’d been looking online at tux ideas for prom for a few days now. I had been fine with him picking something out on his own and could care less if we matched perfectly. He had other ideas though and all week we’ve been comparing colors and deciding if he should have a tan or black tux. I giggled thinking about how much of a girl he was being about it. I liked sober Darrian. He was making this whole ordeal feel special and romantic.
“Any,” I said, pointing my fork at him. He smiled taking a drink of his water.
“But your dress is...”
“Very light pink,” I told him again.
“Right so very light pink should be the tie and vest thing.” He gestured over his chest with his hand.
“If that’s what you want,” I said with a shrug. I had spent a whole afternoon deciding on the perfect dress before I could commit to the one I wanted. The top was fitted like a corset with lace and chunky straps. The bottom was chiffon that flowed down to the floor. Now, for some reason, I was having a hard time letting Darrian commit to matching his tux to my dress. It felt like something a couple would do.
“Hey,” he said, leaning across the table and taking my hand in his. “I want to. It’s going to be a great time.” He promised again. In the back of my mind, I wondered if he was thinking about the Snowball and trying to make it up in some way. I smiled at him anyway and let my hand relax in his grip
“It’s going to be amazing,” I agreed. We finished eating our meals while Darrian told me his plan to pick up the tickets this upcoming Friday. We decided to take pictures at my house first since my dad had made it known he would like a few nice shots. Everyone else was meeting at Ethan and Elijah’s for pictures as a group and I knew Darrian wanted to go, but he hasn’t pushed the topic on me. I would prefer to meet up with Olivia, Shea, and Trent but none of them were going this year. Trent was racing and said there was no one he wanted to spend the money on. I believed Olivia would have gone with Shea if Shea wasn’t still too nervous about everyone knowing about their relationship. I felt bad for my friend knowing she had really wanted to go.
“I’ll just live vicariously through you two.” Olivia had pointed back and forth between Lily and me when we were trying on dresses. We had told Olivia she didn’t have to come, but she had insisted. She was also the one who found my dress and insisted I try it on
“Ready?” Darrian asked before shoving some cash in the billfold for our server.
“Yup,” I told him, standing as well before following him out of the restaurant.
“Yo, D!” a voice shouted at us right before I sat down in the Jeep seats. Alex and Summer walked up to Darrian’s side of the vehicle holding hands.
“‘Sup man.” Darrian was grinning and nodded his head.
“Hey Nora,” Summer said, giving me a small smile and wave.
I waved awkwardly back. “Hi.”
“What are you two lovebirds doing today?” Alex said, flicking his sunglasses on top of his head.
“Heading to look at tuxes,” Darrian answered. “You got yours yet?”
“With this one.” Alex laughed looking at Summer. “I had that thing ordered a month ago.”
“Shut up!” Summer said, laughing as she punched him playfully in the arm, we all chuckled. “Are you guys going to the twins’ for pictures beforehand?” she asked, looking between Darrian and myself. I hesitated.
“I’m going wherever she tells me,” Darrian joked, lifting his shoulders in mock surrender. I laughed.
“Sounds good, man,” Alex said, tapping the top rim of the Jeep. “See you guys later.”
“See ya,” Darrian said while starting his ignition. Summer and I waved goodbye to each other.
The majority of the ride to the store I was lost in my own thoughts about the whole picture thing and being around Darrian’s crew again. I felt his eyes on me every now and then, but I avoided his stare.
“We don’t have to go,” he said shrugging like it really wasn’t a big deal. He probably meant it and probably wouldn’t care if I said no, absolutely not. That made me feel worse though like I denied him something during his senior prom. I got to do this again next year, but this was his last one. Did guys think like that though? I shook my head trying to clear away the thoughts.
“It’s not that I don’t want to go,” I started then laughed when he gave me the look that said he knew I was bullshitting. “Okay I don’t really want to go,” I told him. “I just...I’m nervous how it will go with everything that has happened. Are people still mad at me?”
“No,” he said shaking his head. “Nora, if we go, no one is going to be mad at you and I wouldn’t let them say anything anyway. This is our night, it would be fine. We don’t have to go though. I don’t care if all we do is go to your house, take some pictures and then go right to the restaurant.”
“Really?” I asked quietly. It all seemed too good to be true.
“Absolutely,” he nodded again. “It’s all up to you, baby. Just tell me where I need to be and when.” I smiled at him before leaning over the console to kiss his cheek. He was being wonderful and I’ve never been so excited to go to a dance before, even the Snowball, because Darrian was sober and acted like the guy I met at the beach again.
Another hour later, Darrian’s tux was rented. While he was getting fitted, I told the saleslady the color of my dress and picked out his bow tie, that he insisted on, and vest. The floral shop had been right next door, so we quickly ordered his boutonniere and my corsage before Darrian dropped me back off at home. We’d been gone all morning, I was surprised when we pulled up and my dad was home.
“I’ll pick you up again around seven,” Darrian said before taking my face between his hands and kissing me quickly.
“I’ll be ready!” I yelled before hopping out and closing the door. I waved goodbye as he backed out even though I knew I’d see him again soon. Darrian had planned for us to see a movie later tonight after he had dinner with his parents. He had asked if I wanted to go with him to dinner, but after last time I declined. Darrian really didn’t care that I said no. He thought he had to at least ask because he wasn’t hiding that he was with me. A lot of making out had followed after he told me that.
Once inside, I could hear my dad moving around in his office. His voice was getting clearer the closer I got.
“Anders, I have a few more questions about this Schalinski account. I tried your cell and office, but Janine said you’re out again. Give me a call back when you can, man. These numbers aren’t adding up right.” I stepped into his doorway watching as he slammed his phone down.
“Hey.”
“Oh, hey sweetie,” he said, sitting down in his office chair. For the first time in a few days, I noticed how rough my dad was looking. Dark bags were under his
eyes, his shirt was wrinkled and rolled at the sleeves. He had a good few day’s growth of hair on his face. He looked haggard.
“Everything okay?” I asked, taking the seat across his desk. He was shuffling papers together when I noticed the half-full glass of amber liquor off to the side and an almost empty bottle. I raised my eyebrows.
“Fine,” he said, finally stopping to look at me. “Just work stuff but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Okay,” I replied shrugging.
“Did you have fun shopping?” he asked, I flushed because we don’t talk about Darrian and me. We avoided the topic of boys altogether usually.
“Yup,” I answered, bobbing my head. “Didn’t have much left to do.”
“Prom is next weekend, right?” he asked. His hands folded across his chest as he leaned back.
“Yes. We’ll take pictures here around three and we have reservations at five downtown,” I told him the plan Darrian and I had been rehearsing all day until it was perfect.
“You’ll need to get your hair done and maybe your nails I suppose, right?”
“Probably, I hadn’t decided yet,” I told him, watching as he leaned forward and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Opening it slowly he flipped through some bills before handing a few to me.
“Here,” he told me. “I want to help for your big day. I know you paid for your own dress, but I’d like to do this.”
Tears stung my eyes at the gruffness in his voice. This was hard for him. “Thanks, Dad,” I said, taking the bills and adding them to my purse.
“If it’s okay with you, Jodi wanted to be here too before you guys leave. Get some pictures of us. If that’s okay?” He looked nervous asking.
“Yeah,” I told him, waving my hand through the air. “I wanted to get to know her more. It would help if you guys were around.” He nodded his head thoughtfully.
“Plans tonight?” he asked.
“Going to a movie later. I thought I’d make something quick for dinner. Are you hungry?”
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” he answered.
“I’ll come get you when it’s ready. I have some homework to do before,” I told him, getting up out of the chair. He glanced back down to the papers in front of him.
“Hey,” he said before I got to the door. “Have you seen Mikayla at school this week?” he asked. The question took me off guard for a second as I struggled to think about it. Since being back with Darrian, I usually avoided her and any place she might be.
“She’s been there,” I told him. “We just don’t really talk or anything.”
“Hmmm,” he sounded distracted. “Okay. Thanks, sweetie.” I left his office closing the door behind me. Something about the conversation and the message I heard doesn’t sit right with me. On the other hand, I knew my dad had been doing well at his job. We’d actually been paying on the home rather than renting it. New furniture even made its way inside little by little. It’s actually tasteful furniture which I thanked Jodi for. I’ve ignored the bad feeling creeping in the past few weeks. I was trying to stay busy with Darrian and my friends. It was funny how what I used to hope for was now my worst fear...I didn’t want to leave Araminta.
Every day this week had been perfect. After our movie on Saturday night, Darrian dropped me off to a quiet house. My dad was gone for work I presumed. On Sunday I met up with Lily at the beach so she could even out her tan lines and we watched as the guys surfed. She was going to prom with Ethan but was feeling nervous about it since he was calling her his girlfriend.
“Taylor still won’t talk to me,” she confided while we had watched the boys from a distance.
“I thought she told you she didn’t care?” I asked.
“She didn’t while she was with Jimmy or Jamin, whatever his name was. Ever since Ethan made us an official couple, she won’t even look at me. It’s what he never did for her.”
“Lil, if Ethan was never serious about your sister as she made it seem, that’s not on you,” I told her gently trying to be reassuring.
“I know,” she said, raising her shoulders. “It’s just...like is it weird that we both have been with him?”
I smiled at her crookedly.
“Shut up,” she said, shaking her head.
“It’s...” I trailed off trying to think of the right words. “It’s not usual, but you can’t help that you guys like each other. I remember when I first came here, and I’d see him watching you all the time, yet he was supposedly with Taylor,” I said shrugging.
“Really?” she asked interested, a small smile formed on her lips.
“Yeah,” I told her. “It is what it is. Like I told you before, you can’t help who you’re meant to be with. You two obviously have something deeper than those two did if he’s this serious about you. Honestly, I never pictured him as a one-woman guy.” We both laughed.
“No,” she said. “I never thought he’d be either. He always sounded like such a douche about girls. It was out of nowhere when he dropped the relationship bomb on me.”
“I bet,” I said agreeing.
“Are you sure you don’t want to meet at the twins’ home before prom? Ethan mentioned getting a limo for a few couples.”
“Yeah,” I told her. “I just, I’m so worried everyone is going to still be mad at me or things are going to go bad.”
“Nora, no one who matters is upset about the drug bust anymore. It was weird when those guys were hanging all over us anyway. I know you put up with a lot with Darrian to get him clean...” Her voice trailed off quietly. I breathed in and out thinking back the past few months. Again, I almost felt guilty about keeping Darrian away on prom night.
“Who’s getting the limo?” I asked her suddenly.
“It would just be us and then Elijah and his date- oh, and Summer and Alex.”
“Whitney?” I asked.
“No,” Lily shook her head smiling. “Her boyfriend is driving them I guess.”
“So that would be it?”
“Yup, everyone else already had a limo or ride put together,” she told me reassuringly.
“Let me be the one to tell Darrian,” I told her, hoping to surprise him a little.
The rest of the day we had relaxed and ate dinner at the pier with the guys after the sun had sunk into the surf.
Monday at school Darrian asked my opinion about limos or a car rental. When I told him I wanted to meet at the twins’ home and the limo had already been scheduled he was hesitant at first. After many times of me telling him it was what I wanted he relaxed and an easy grin pulled at his lips. That was all it took for Tuesday and Wednesday to fly by in a blur. A blur of last minute details and preparations. I couldn’t help but get sucked into it. If there was one thing I learned about Araminta High, it was that they never did anything halfway. I leaned against Darrian at lunch and his arm automatically went around my back supporting me. Things felt right.
Friday after school Lily and I were going to get our nails done. The money my dad had given me was burning a hole in my pocket. I had decided to just curl my hair myself for the dance and let it hang loose. My fingernails and toes though I wanted painted. Darrian walked me to Lily’s car before kissing me goodbye.
“Call me tonight?” he asked, pulling away, his hand lingering on my hip a little longer.
“Definitely,” I replied, bringing him closer to me one more time for another kiss.
“If I don’t answer right away it’s because I’m at dinner with the parents again,” he said, rolling his eyes while he sprinkled kisses over my cheeks and jaw. I laughed.
“Okay,” I told him.
“See you tomorrow, two pm at your house,” he confirmed before pulling away, only our fingers are laced now.
“Yes,” I answered him, quirking my brow. “Don’t be late.”
“I promise I won’t be,” he shouted with his hand over his heart as he walks over to his Jeep parked a few spots down. Despite the crowd of students also leaving the parking lot
our gazes are still on each other.
“Let’s go, girl,” Lily said, hopping into her seat. I got in as well, still watching as Darrian drove away.
“Here we go,” she said before we took off to the strip mall.
My house was quiet and dark when she dropped me off a few hours later. After our nails, we decided to get sandwiches from the deli down the road and picked each other’s brains about makeup and jewelry one more time. Excitement grew in my chest and my cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling and laughing so hard. It was also a relief to know I wasn’t the only one getting really into this. I never thought I’d be that girl continuously talking about prom, but tonight I was. A sense of belonging washed over me when I thought back over the year here. I knew after this weekend things would get serious again. Graduation was right around the corner and Darrian would leave right away for camp. We hadn’t talked about it much or what it would mean for us. Even after repairing our relationship there have still been no declarations of him saying we’re a couple or that he loves me too. Knowing how he has been in the past, I’ve been trying to let it go and just stay in the here and now with him.
It was after seven when I finished my weekend homework, thankful the teachers went easy on us because of prom. Padding downstairs in my pajamas I noticed my dad still wasn’t home and he didn’t leave a note like usual. Frowning, I turned the light above the sink on before climbing back up the stairs with a glass of water. Lying back against my pillows I took my phone out and try calling Darrian. He should be done with dinner by now. The phone rang and rang before going to voicemail.
“Hey, it’s me just wanted to give you a call before bed. Call me back after your dinner.” I hit the end button.
I got up to brush my teeth and make sure my dress was out of the bag and hanging one more time before I settled back down and took out my Kindle. By the time my book was over, my phone told me it was ten p.m. I had zero missed calls from Darrian. I shivered slightly. A sense of dread was peeking in, darkness clouding the edges around my bubble of happiness. I tried pushing it back remembering how perfect things were going. Darrian was clean, he was going to the college he wanted to attend, and we were at a good spot again. I refused to believe or even think something was wrong.