by A. M. Brooks
“He said things might go late,” I whispered to myself trying to calm my racing pulse. Taking deep breaths in and out I sent him a text instead of calling again.
Me: Hi! Hope dinner wasn’t horrible ☹ Txt me later
I watched the screen looking for the three dots, but nothing happened. Frustrated and mad with myself, I slumped under my covers, the phone clutched in my hand. I was overthinking this. Nothing was going to happen, and I needed to relax. I repeated that phrase over and over again as my eyelids became heavier and heavier. Unable to take the silence and my own thoughts, I grabbed my earbuds off the nightstand. I plugged them into my phone and set it to Halsey. Before I knew it, I was falling asleep listening to why she was “Bad At Love.”
The buzzing noise from my phone jolted me awake. I scrambled to get it, snagging the earpieces that had fallen out overnight and are now tangled in my hair. Groaning, I realized it’s the alarm clock on my phone. I turned it off, sweeping the hair out of my eyes, and going back to the main screen. One new message! I swiped it open, holding my breath.
Darrian (1:08am): Sorry. See you at 2.
My lips pursed as I reread the text over again. It’s vague and he sounded upset. “Or he could have been tired, Nora,” I said to myself deciding I was being too paranoid about the whole situation. Sighing, I rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. After I had washed, shaved, and loofahed every crevice, I felt satisfied enough to get out. I took my time drying my hair with the towel and brushing it out. Putting on lotion, I decided this is a good start before grabbing some breakfast.
On the kitchen counter, a muffin assortment and freshly cut fruit waited for me. The smell of coffee was also in the air. Guess my dad had come home at some point. I head to the fridge to grab the creamer when a note caught my eye.
Nora:
Emergency, had to go in to work. Not sure when we’ll be done.
Sorry!!
-Dad
“Of course.” I leaned my head against the fridge and swallowed back tears. It was stupid, but I had been excited for my dad to see my dress and see me off to prom with Darrian. Work always came first though. Pursing my lips, I loaded up my plate with fruit and muffins and grabbed a cup of coffee. I slammed my door shut because the men in my life frustrated me and are never around for me to take it out on. Instead, I plugged in my phone and connected to my docking station. Soon Sia’s “Chandelier” was blasting through the room offering me some comfort as I finished my breakfast before blow drying and setting the curls in my hair. I kept peeking at my phone hoping for a message from Darrian, but none came in. The clock kept ticking as I got ready.
At 1:50 p.m., my dad was still not home, and I hadn’t heard from him either. I’m dressed and ready to go. The top of the dress hugged against my skin, not too revealing but pretty and sweet with the sweetheart neckline. The bottom floated around me as I looked for the pearl colored sandals that match. My hair hung in soft curls down my back. I decided on completely neutral makeup except for the pink tint of the lip gloss. When the doorbell rang, I jumped slightly, reaching from my phone. There was still a blank screen. I stashed it quickly in my clutch with some money before heading downstairs. I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed that my dad wasn’t there when he had been so insistent we take pictures.
Opening the door, I’m surprised to find Jodi.
“Hey, Nora! You look absolutely beautiful,” she gushed.
I smiled in return. “Thanks, my dad isn’t here, I don’t know if he told you.”
“Oh,” she said, grabbing her phone. “Did he say why?”
“Work emergency,” I replied, peering around her my eyes landed on Darrian. The light tan of his tux made his skin appear darker and creamy, the grey in his eyes popped as he looked over me too. I decided I liked the light pink bow tie and vest pulled tight against his chest.
“That’s what I was afraid of,” she replied giving me a small smile. She looked frustrated and anxious.
“Hi,” I breathed out, my voice sounding shy as Darrian reached us.
“Hi,” he repeated before holding out my corsage. He slipped it up my wrist gently before settling it in place.
“It turned out great,” I told him, looking down to admire the small pink rosebuds against the white baby’s breath.
“Very nice,” Jodi replied. “How about I take a few pictures of you two for your dad then I better head out,” she offered.
“Sure!” I stepped back letting them both into my entryway.
“I’ll just grab yours quick,” I told him, unable to believe I almost forgot it in the fridge.
“Your dad’s not home?” he asked.
“No,” I yelled back. “Some work emergency.”
“Mmm,” I heard him say. He’s still in the same spot when I returned. Carefully, I took the rose and pinned it to his chest.
“There.” I stepped back admiring my handiwork.
“Alright,” Jodi said before instructing us to pose by the stairs and one more time outside by the trees before she said she had to leave.
“You look beautiful,” she said, placing a hand on my arm. I smiled genuinely at her, taking in the most mothering feeling I’ve had in a long time.
“Thank you for staying,” I told her honestly.
“No problem doll,” she called as she walked away.
I glanced at Darrian who moved closer to me. Silence hung in the air between us. “We can just go,” I told him finally. “I don’t know when he’ll be back, we should meet up with everyone else.”
“Okay,” he said, leading me to the front door. Without waiting, he walked to his Jeep while I locked up the door. Dread pooled in my stomach at his odd behavior. The thought that something wasn’t right kept gnawing at me. Darrian was here though and appeared sober, I needed to keep reminding myself.
We were both quiet on the drive to Ethan and Elijah’s. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or nervous about something. I wanted to ask about dinner last night, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood further for him. Instead, I sat back and closed my eyes briefly, sending a small prayer that maybe once we’re actually on our way, he’ll liven up.
True to her word only Lily, Ethan, Elijah, Tara, Alex, and Summer were there when we arrived. I automatically sighed with relief. Darrian lightens up a little too as he goes to say hi to the guys. Lily appeared in front of me and threw her arms around my shoulders.
“You look beautiful,” she shouted all giggly.
“You look amazing too,” I told her and it was the truth.
My friend was a knock out in her short to long ice blue dress. Rhinestones were scattered across the top and she wore the heels to match. Her pale blonde hair was in a curled messy bun at the nape of her neck. We linked arms and she led me over to the other girls. I hardly ever saw Tara, and usually when I do it’s always a casual atmosphere and she is always dressed modestly. Not tonight though. Her auburn red hair was curled and swept off to one side leaving her shoulders bare as the cropped sleeves of her dress hang down. Black lace laid over nude material made the short dress seem that she is wearing nothing but the lace. It was sexy and I could only imagine Elijah had a field day when he saw her.
“You look great Nora,” Summer said, smiling at me.
“You too,” I said, gesturing over her Grecian style dress. Like mine, the material flows to the floor with an open slit up the side. The yellow coloring bringing out the tan of her olive toned skin. Her long black hair was twisted on top of her head with curls hanging loose.
“All you ladies look stunning,” Ethan said, suddenly behind us crowding us together in a hug.
“Pictures!” Lily called out before grabbing her phone. I noticed for the first time that the twins’ parents are there, waiting with their phones in hand as well. We took group pictures, then the guys posed, then the girls posed together. After a while, I realized I’m laughing hard and enjoying myself. Darrian appeared to be having a good time too, chatting it up with the guys.
“Nora, D, you’re up!” Alex shouted, gesturing us toward the fountain for a couple’s pose. I walked over smiling before I noticed the look on Darrian’s face. It was quick and I almost think I imagined it. That cold stare was there before he schooled his features to relax. He gave me a small smile, polite almost, as I stand by his side. He’s tentative to touch me like he feared I would bite, Not like he’s touched me everywhere before.
“Lean in you two,” Ethan’s mom called out before snapping a few shots. I was aware that the flash was going off, but I haven’t taken my eyes off Darrian. He was looking ahead avoiding my gaze. I felt that pit in my stomach forming. He was hiding something from me, I was sure for the first time since he showed up at my doorstep. When our turn was over, he started to walk past me, but my hand shot out to stop him.
“Darr.” My voice was low and questioning. He must have heard the pain behind my words because his body deflated a little.
“Not right now, okay?” he said gently, leading me back toward the group.
It was time for us to leave for our dinner reservations and I am anything but hungry. Despite the last rays of sunshine, I felt cold and folded my arms around myself. Food was definitely the last thing on my mind. Everyone climbed in the limo, following Darrian’s lead. I’m the last one into the dark cocoon when I realized my date is sitting the farthest away from me. Trying to hide the hurt and confusion I sang along with the others as we take more selfies on our way downtown.
Through dinner, I recognized things aren’t getting better. Darrian was constantly looking at his phone and left once to take a phone call. When he got back his face was hard, and he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I looked over and catch Ethan watching me. He tried to give me a reassuring smile, but it was no use. I knew something wasn’t right and the tension was suffocating me. I didn’t eat the rest of my meal as I tried to figure out what could be going wrong. I’ve analyzed the past twenty-four hours about ten times by the end of dinner and everyone has paid for their meals. Surprisingly, Darrian paid for mine even though I offered.
We got back in the limo and I could feel my excitement for the night fading. I’m nervous and strung tight, the anxiety was eating me alive. Visions of Carrie and the Alpo dog food scene in Never Been Kissed ran through my mind causing me to shiver. I tried to fight it off reminding myself that Darrian was still here and he hadn’t said we couldn’t talk about it he just said later. I took another deep breath and hoped we’d grown past the old days and that we were still in a better place.
In true Araminta fashion, the Palms Hotel was decked out. A red carpet was rolled out for arriving limos and cars. Students were lined up as they were ushered inside. Everyone was dressed up and looked to be having a great time. Despite the grand entrance, the inside of the ballroom is what really got me. This year’s theme was Under the Stars. Dark gauzy fabric was draped over the ceiling with gold shimmering stars hanging down. White lights were wrapped around pillars at the front and were intertwined with the hanging fabric giving it a subtle glow. The school’s usual DJ at these events was already set up and playing some early 90s dance music. A few tables were set off to the side and a snack and juice buffet table was lined against the back wall. Of course it was stunning and romantic and until a few hours ago I had been looking forward to this. Now I was half terrified to be in here.
“I love this song,” Lily yelled, pulling me to the dance floor.
I looked back and saw the guys smiling as she maneuvered us out of there. Even dancing I couldn’t help but watch Darrian as he moved through the crowd, fist bumping, one arm hugging, and shaking hands of people as he passed. He even stopped to pose for pictures. He looked like he was having a good time and I started to feel relieved. Maybe I had misunderstood what was happening. After so many other incidents my fight or flight instincts had kicked in and I had imagined the worst possible.
“Snap out of it,” I whispered to myself, closing my eyes and letting myself get caught up in the music.
I wasn’t aware of how long we danced when Lily leaned over to me motioning for drinks. Smiling we made our way to the table and grabbed two glasses.
“This is great,” she said, bringing her cup to mine.
“Cheers!” I yelled before taking a long drink of the cool liquid.
“Where did the guys go?” she asked, turning to look. The table they had been sitting at earlier was now vacant.
“No idea,” I said, looking around as well, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.
“Come on,” she said, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the doors.
“Oh, there they are,” Ethan said, motioning us over. I noticed then the usual crew was all in the entryway.
“Are we ready then?” Whitney asked, clapping her hands together.
“We’re going now?” Lily asked, looking down at her phone. Glancing over her shoulder, I read it’s already half past ten. We’d been here for three hours.
“Yup! After-party!” Ethan yelled, before sweeping her up in his arms and spinning her around. I smiled watching how happy my friend looks.
“Where’s Darrian?” I asked, suddenly aware he wasn’t in the group.
“Ah he’s already there,” Alex said, running a hand along the back of his neck. The group got quiet as that news settled in. A blush heated my cheeks. My date left without me.
“Let’s go,” Elijah said finally, taking control of the situation.
Deflated, my chest ached the entire drive to the twins’ home. He left without me. We never even danced once. The moment we arrived he did his own thing like he was happy to be away from me. Unshed tears burned in my eyes, but I held them back. I was livid. We had planned so much for this night, together, this hadn’t been just me trying to romanticize something it wasn’t. The ride felt like it took forever, I was itching to get inside and confront him. Whatever was going on had something to do with the phone call at dinner, I’d bet my life on it. Darrian had been off all day, but it was after that call, things really took a turn.
I had the door open before we even stopped and was heading up the front steps to the front door. By now I’d been to many parties here and knew the layout from memory. The house was already packed, a few people I remembered leaving the prom before we did. Half the school had to be here already. Even a few people dressed in street clothes who hadn’t gone tonight were also there to party. I shook my head as I pushed my way through the crowd. I heard Lily shout my name behind me, but I wasn’t stopping. I was on a mission to find my date and make him explain what was going on. Reaching the staircase, I saw Mikayla and her date standing there with Taylor. They spotted me instantly too. A slow, evil grin spread across Mikayla’s face.
“Darrian’s up there if you’re looking for him,” she said, grinning when my step faltered.
“Thanks,” I somehow managed to say even though it felt like dry cotton was in my mouth. Part of me was preparing for what I knew was going to happen. Drugs. Somehow, and for some reason, I knew I was going to find Darrian high. The gleam in Mikayla’s eyes as she watched me walk around her up the staircase made me more uneasy. I heard Lily again call my name, but I was already at the top of the stairs and I wasn’t turning back. I needed to see the destruction with my own eyes and deal with it head-on.
My steps wavered when I got near the last door. All the others had been open, but this one was closed. My eyes slammed shut when the noise reached me through the white panels. I could hear moaning and the sound of skin hitting skin. Shivers raced up my arms. I stood outside the door until it stopped. I heard her voice, like a bad porn movie, call his name after her release. Swallowing the vomit in my throat, I turned the knob needing to see it with my own eyes. I needed to see he was actually doing this to me, the door swung open. I couldn’t seem to stop my own feet from moving forward into the sex scent filled room.
On the table in front of the bed lines of coke and a rolled up bill sat. I willed my eyes to find the bed, I was shaking from adrenaline and anger. My jaw clench
ed when my gaze clashed with Darrian’s high one. His pupils were dilated making his eyes appear almost black, his perfect mask slipped in place. I watched as he ripped the condom off and shoved himself back into his pants. I dared myself to look down at the bed. Sure enough, Hannah was lying there partially naked except for the sheet pulled over her front. A triumphant look gleamed in her eyes and a smile spread across her lips. What did I ever do to her?
“Are you serious?” I asked, my eyes swung back to the guy who just shattered my heart into a million pieces. The same heart that had been cracked and torn over and over this past year had finally experienced the damage it could never come back from. Broken and banged around, my heart was bruised.
He shrugged, staring at me, anger was written over his features. “You have shitty taste in friends,” he mocked. The same excuse every time we play this game. This time things changed though. I could feel it and I knew he did too.
“You’re high,” I told him, unable to form a sentence for where my thoughts are going.
He clapped his hands, walking toward me until I needed to step back. “Way to go, Sutton, you figured it all out,” he sneered. Hannah giggled behind him.
“Why?” I asked, needing to know. Even as I stood there broken with tears freely falling down my cheeks, I needed to know. I needed the answer for why he let things go so far before ripping the rug out from underneath me.
“Go ask your dad, better yet, get out of Araminta. Take your daddy and leave.” His voice was rising.
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head.
“I don’t know how else to spell it out for you. You aren’t wanted here. You don’t belong here. You’re a sad little girl with daddy issues that I’m tired of playing with. It’s getting sad Nora.” His voice was condemning and cold, but his eyes blazed when he was speaking to me. Each word was a fresh cut to an already open wound.