“She does.” He smiled, removing my hand.
I narrowed my eyes at him, he narrowed his right back. “Is she blonde like us?” I asked motioning between myself and FB and flipping my hair over my shoulder like I saw Tisha do only a few minutes before.
“She is.” He nodded.
“So you have good taste?” Tisha asked.
Good taste? She was totally a fake blonde. I’d pegged her as a redhead the moment I got up close to her.
“I’d say I do.” He nodded again.
“So you have a type?” I asked.
“I guess you can say that.” He laughed.
“Do you have to go straight home to your girlfriend?” Tisha asked.
Both Avery and I looked over at her. I waited for his answer. “I do every night.”
“Can’t you tell her you had to work late?” Tisha asked.
“Do you ever use that line?” I asked and waited for Avery to answer both questions.
“I always go home to her right away. I spent too many nights without her being with me,” he said, looking at me.
“So you live together?” I asked.
He smiled. “Yeah, we do.”
“What about before you lived together. Did you go straight home?” Tisha asked.
“Of course. She’s the love of my life.”
“Don’t you want to have some fun?” Tisha asked.
I wanted to slap Tisha the more she asked these questions, but it also gave me insight on what he was doing while I was in Boston—if he was telling the truth. The way he had no hiccups in his answers, gave me assurance that he was telling the truth.
“What do you have in mind?” he asked, looking at me.
“Do you—”
I cut her off. “I have one last question for you.” I reached for a bar napkin and used the pen that was sitting in a glass next to me that someone had used to sign their credit card bill. I wrote my fake name and my number on it. “Okay. Since we’re,” I motioned between me and Tisha, “clearly your type. Whose number do you want?”
He paused, looking me dead in the eye and then laughed. “Oh, that’s a tough one.” He crossed his arms over his chest and studied us. “Hmm,” he sighed, tapping his finger over his mouth with his arms still crossed as if he was actually thinking.
Tisha and I both stuck our numbers in the air in front of us, waiting for him to grab one.
“I’m gonna go with…” He paused, still playing the game. “Laila,” he said, reaching out and taking my napkin.
Tisha huffed next to me. “You’re a bitch.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, my head whipping to the right where she stood.
“You think you can just walk in here and take my man?”
“Your man?” I snapped.
“Ladies,” Avery said.
Brooke stepped around Tisha and stood next to me. Tisha was yelling in my face, and I was two seconds away from slapping her. I’d always been a spitfire, but I couldn’t control my emotions now that I was pregnant.
“I didn’t just walk in here and steal your man,” I hissed. “I won fair and square.”
Okay, maybe that wasn’t true.
I felt Avery grab my arm that was near the bar. I turned my head towards him. “Laila…” he warned.
I didn’t respond. Instead, I turned my head back to the fake blonde, narrowing my eyes, challenging her. This bitch had some nerve.
“You just got here and you think you can just waltz in here like you own the place?”
“Yeah, I do,” I snapped.
I saw her raise her hand and my body stiffened, expecting her slap. I was ready to dodge it, but it never came.
“Were you just about to hit her?” Easton asked, holding her arm. My eyes darted to him as he looked down on Tisha. I wasn’t sure where he came from, but this situation had taken a wrong turn. This was all supposed to be fun and games.
Tisha broke free from Easton’s grasp, not bothering to answer him. “I’m outta here.” She stormed off.
“In my office, Nicole!” Avery yelled a few seconds later.
I turned to my best friend. I couldn’t believe I was about to get in trouble. Brooke mouthed sorry to me before I followed Avery up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind us and locked it.
“What the fuck was that all about?”
“Oh, come on. It was all for fun. How was I supposed to know that bitch was crazy?”
“Nic, I told Brooke not to do this for a reason.”
“I didn’t do it for money. You told her not to do it for money.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“What would have happened if she’d hit you?”
“I would have hit her back.” I laughed like there was any other answer.
“Come on, Baby. You’re pregnant and I can’t have you coming in here and starting fights with my customers.”
“I didn’t start a fight. You were there for the whole thing.”
“Fine. But you and Brooke need to stop these games.”
“Fine.” I huffed. “I’m sorry it won’t happen again.” I turned my head, looking up at the ceiling. I didn’t like looking in his eyes when he was mad.
“Good. Now kiss me already.”
I looked back at him and he was smiling. I smiled back, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him as he asked.
“Laila, huh?” He laughed.
“Come on, Mike Tyson. You would’ve done the same thing.”
“Damn straight.” He kissed me again.
Watching Nicole try and trick a customer was funny as hell, until that crazy bitch turned…well, crazy. I couldn’t believe it, but luckily Easton was there to catch her claws since I had Nicole’s arm. If that bitch had laid a finger on Nicole, all hell would have broken loose. Everyone in the bar would have known who Nicole was to me and if they didn’t like it, they weren’t going to be welcomed back.
I almost laughed when the crazy bitch said, “You just got here and you think you can just waltz in here like you own the place?” Little did she know that once I married Nicole, she would own part of the Halo. Nicole didn’t know it yet, but I was going to ask her to marry me—I just didn’t know when.
Nicole slept in my office until it was time to go home. I told her to go home, that Brooke would take her, but she insisted she wanted to stay. I didn’t know why, but I made sure to disinfect the couch before she laid on it. No telling what Easton had done on that thing before he met Brooke—I didn’t even want to know.
“Baby, come on, it’s time to go home,” I whispered and leaned down, kissing the side of Nicole’s head.
She stirred and then sat up, stretching.
“Come on.” I reached out, taking her hand with mine and lifted her to stand. “Have a nice nap?”
“Yeah,” she said with a yawn.
Brooke and Easton had already gone home for the night and as we left, I turned on the alarm and locked the door behind us. I held her hand as I led us to the empty parking lot. A single street light shining to illuminate a path to my truck.
“I’m sorry about tonight,” she said.
“I know,” I said. “That bitch was crazy.”
“Women do crazy shit when they’re in love.” She laughed.
“I don’t even know who that was. How can you say she was in love with me?”
“I didn’t mean love in that way. She was obviously really infatuated with you.”
“She just wanted my body.” I smirked, stopping at the passenger side door of my truck.
“Yeah, that definitely wouldn’t happen.” She laughed again.
I pinned her against my truck, caging her between my arms. “I wouldn’t have let it happen. Even if you weren’t the other girl in the scenario.”
“Good,” she said, biting her lower lip and looked down at my mouth.
I looked down at her mouth. “Babe…” I groaned.
“What?” she asked, lying through her teeth. She knew.
“You know if you do that, we’re not going to make it home before I fuck you.”
“I know,” she whispered.
I looked around the bare parking lot. “You sure about this?”
She nodded.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I unlocked my truck with the fob, opening the passenger side door and scooted the front seat forward enough for us to crawl in the extra cab. “I’ve been working all night and you owe me. You’re on top, Baby.”
I stepped in the back, then turned and helped Nicole in. Once we were in, she closed the door behind her, leaving us in almost pitch darkness when the cab light turned off. I sat in the middle, unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my jeans, sliding the zipper down. I pulled my pants and boxers down enough to free my dick and looked over at Nicole.
She licked her lips and leaned forward, wrapping her tiny hand around my cock and pumped once. I groaned. Definitely a good idea she took a nap in my office.
Thank you Brooke for driving!
My eyes trained on her mouth as she leaned down and licked the tip. I hissed at the contact, spreading my legs farther apart to get more comfortable. My arms spread on the back of the bench seat as I watched her take my dick in her mouth, her hand wrapped around the base and working my shaft together. Her hand twisted. Her mouth sucked, and her warm saliva coated my cock enough to make everything glide in a fluid motion.
She bobbed. She pumped. She twisted her hand. She sucked. She licked. She had me about to come in less than five minutes. Stopping her, I brought her mouth up to mine and kissed her while I helped her straddle my hips and used my hand to move her underwear to the side from under her skirt.
She took my dick in her hand again, this time using it to guide it inside her. I groaned as her heat engulfed my cock, sliding down until I was buried deep inside her.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “You feel so good.”
Using her legs from her knees, she started to slide up and down my shaft. My hands wrapped around her ass, helping her move. She brought her mouth to mine, our tongues dueling with each other. Tasting, sucking, enjoying.
She quickened her pace, slamming down each time so my dick was to the hilt, touching the end of her pussy. She moaned, our breathing heavy, fogging up the windows.
“Oh, God,” she panted.
“That’s it, Baby,” I said, still using my hands to help her go up and down. My hips had a mind of their own and started thrusting up, meeting her when she slid down. I could smell her arousal filling the entire cab of my truck and I wanted to bottle it up and use it as an air freshener. This was my girl. The one. My one.
Our hips continued to meet each other and just as I was about to come, Nicole beat me. She moaned, her back arching, her head falling back and her pussy clenching my dick so tight that when I came a few seconds later it milked it to the very last drop.
“Yeah, that crazy bitch wouldn’t have ever gotten that.” Nicole smiled against my neck. “Or I would have definitely punched her.”
Sixteen weeks.
Nicole was sixteen weeks pregnant with my baby.
“Nervous again?” I asked, driving us to the doctor’s office.
“Yeah,” she sighed, rubbing her little belly that barely had a bump.
“What are they doing at this appointment?”
She shrugged, looking over at me. “Same as last time I think.”
“When will we get to see our baby?” I asked, smiling.
“I think when I’m twenty weeks.” She beamed.
I couldn’t wait.
Grabbing Nicole’s hand, we walked inside the doctor’s office. Just like four weeks prior, we sat in the waiting room, waiting to be called. Rubbing Nicole’s knee to calm her, I leaned over and kissed her cheek and then went back to looking at all the toys. I couldn’t wait to play with toys with my kid. I played with Cheyenne all the time, but she was getting older. Once I had my own child, I would get to play with her every day.
Finally, after fifteen minutes of waiting, we were called back. Just like before, Nicole was given a gown to wear and she lay on the table, waiting for the doctor. The doctor came in a few minutes later, spread the jelly shit on Nicole’s stomach and used the heartbeat Doppler again.
I smiled at Nicole and she smiled back, my hand holding hers as we waited to hear our baby’s heartbeat again. The sound of whooshing filled my ears as the doctor moved the wand around on Nicole’s belly, trying to find the heartbeat and I listened and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I looked towards the doctor. She was still using the wand across Nicole’s body, searching.
After a few minutes, she finally spoke. “I need to switch to a vaginal ultrasound.”
Nicole looked to me, searching for answers. I had none. This was all new to me. I didn’t even know what a vaginal ultrasound was. Concern spread across Nicole’s face and I began to become nervous. My heart was beating extremely fast, hoping to hear another heartbeat that it helped create.
Before we’d arrived, I was excited. Excited to share this experience with Nicole again. Excited to hear her heart beating again. To be one step closer to seeing her on the tiny black and white screen at the next appointment. To be one step closer to holding her in my arms.
I stared into Nicole’s eyes, holding her hand the tightest I could without hurting her. I was scared—Nicole was scared, and a few minutes later after the doctor did what she needed to do, my heart was ripped from my chest.
“I’m sorry, Nicole. I can’t find a heartbeat.”
Day One Without Our Baby
The moment I saw the blue lines appear on the pregnancy tests when I first learned that I was pregnant, I fell in love with more than just Avery. I fell in love with something that we created together—someone we created. It was instant love. It was something so beautiful, and when it was taken from me, I was left feeling empty. I was left feeling alone; like a part of me was missing and I was nothing but a hollow void.
It broke me.
It hurt me.
It drained me and everything around me turned to darkness.
“I’m sorry, Nicole. I can’t find a heartbeat,” the doctor said.
After I heard those eight words and looked into Avery’s eyes, I’d lost it. I failed him. I’d done something and I’d taken his baby away, but I didn’t know what I’d done. The doctor told us that it was common to have a miscarriage happen in the first thirteen weeks of a pregnancy—a fetal demise she called it. I ]had no bleeding, no cramping and my body thought I was still pregnant. After they’d performed their test to measure the fetus, we were told that I’d lost the baby at thirteen weeks exactly; three weeks prior.
We’d been living life—going through the motions—acting like we were going to be parents when in reality…we weren’t.
After I’d had the procedure to remove the dead fetus at the hospital, Avery drove me home. I couldn’t talk to him. What do you say to the man you love after you lost his baby?
I crawled into bed first thing when we got home and cried myself to sleep.
* * *
Day Two Without Our Baby
No matter what Avery said. No matter what Brooke wanted to say. No matter what my mother wanted to say, nothing could take away the hurt—take away the pain. A part of me was gone. A part of me that I’d grown to accept, grown to love, and had looked forward to holding in my arms—was gone.
I couldn’t get out of bed. I knew my mom came to visit, to make sure that I was okay, but I didn’t want to see anyone. The only person I allowed in my bedroom was Avery and only because it was his room too.
“I brought you some soup,” Avery said, setting a bowl on my nightstand.
“I’m not hungry,” I murmured.
“You gotta eat something, Baby.”
“I’m not hungry,” I repeated.
He brushed a few pieces of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. The simple contact made me start to cry again. What else did I have to do?
I’d failed Avery. My body wasn’t worthy enough to carry his baby. I wasn’t worthy enough to be his—to be his one.
With my eyes closed I felt Avery try to brush away my tears, but there were too many. Eventually he gave up, climbed into bed behind me and cried with me.
Day Three Without Our Baby
Each time I thought I was done crying, I would cry some more. I thought about how I was already thinking about baby names. How I was already thinking about how I wanted to decorate the nursery, reading a book about what to expect, staring at mothers when I saw them with their babies, smiling as I pictured Avery holding her. I was already attached to her and then just like that, she was gone.
“You want to get out of bed today?” Avery asked.
“No,” I shook my head against my pillow, not opening my eyes.
“Your mom’s still here.”
“Just tell her to go. Tell everyone to go.”
I heard voices in the living room talking about me. Talking about what to do to help me. There wasn’t anything to do. It was a sign. A sign that Avery wasn’t the one. A sign that showed me we weren’t meant to be together.
I was meant to be alone.
Alone because I couldn’t give Avery the baby he wanted.
The doctor told us that we could try again. Try in a month. But why? What was the point? I couldn’t let our hopes get up and then come crashing down again. The pain wasn’t worth it. Hurting Avery wasn’t worth it.
I spent the rest of the day in bed. Sometimes I would cry. Sometimes they were all dried up. I wasn’t even sure if I still had a job. I didn’t care. I only cared that I failed Avery and there was nothing I could do to fix it.
* * *
Day Four Without Our Baby
My back started to hurt from laying down for four days straight. I only got up to use the bathroom when I needed to. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t really sleep and the more time passed, the more my tears weren’t comforting me either—nothing was.
Avery tried. He really did, but nothing he could do helped. He lost his baby too, but the physical pain I endured was nothing any words could cure. I felt like I was wasting away. I was. I still couldn’t eat no matter what Avery brought me.
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