“So you’re saying that Brooke could have had FAP since she was a teenager?”
My gaze darted up to Megan at Easton’s question.
“It’s very possible,” she responded. “We’re not sure why people have the desmoid mutation or why thirty percent also have FAP. It’s best to get genetic testing and a colonoscopy to rule it out.”
“And if,” I cleared my throat, finally finding my voice. “And if I don’t have FAP?”
“Then you’re among the rare group of people living with the mutation. Even rarer because of the location.”
“And …” I sighed. “And if I do?”
“You’ll need to see a specialist and know that there’s a fifty-fifty chance that if you have FAP, your kids will have it. Do you have any children?”
I shook my head and she continued asking me questions, but my thoughts were all over the place. If I had this FAP bullshit, I wouldn't have kids. I would never take the fifty-fifty chance of putting my children through the hell and the pain of the never-ending nightmare.
I responded to the appropriate health questions like, “Do you know anyone in your family with cancer?”
“Does anyone in your family have polyps?”
I didn’t know my family history on my father’s side. I wouldn’t know the man if he walked past me on the street. And as for my mother—fuck, I needed to call her and find out any history she could give me. My nightmare had gone from bad to worse.
Nicole ended up moving back to Boston. I never thought she’d do it, especially without telling Brooke. She not only took Avery’s heart with her back to Boston but I knew she took a part of Brooke’s as well.
We were all adults, but I would be lost without Avery, so I understood what Brooke was going through without Nicole. She was more than her best friend. She was like her sister, and now wasn’t the time for Nicole to go back to Boston.
Everyone was hurting. Avery and Nicole had lost a baby, Brooke’s tumor ordeal might not be over, and I might never be able to give her the family she’d always wanted. If Brooke wanted to adopt down the road, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I knew from talking to her she wanted her own flesh and blood one day. She’d already raised Bailee growing up, and now she was helping me with Cheyenne. It was finally time she had her own child—once we were married, of course. But if she had FAP …
Would we take the chance?
“Are you doing okay?” I crawled into bed with Brooke. When we got home from her appointment, she’d wanted to take a nap.
She nodded.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No,” she mumbled.
“Peanut will be home soon and—” I was interrupted by my cell phone ringing. “One sec.” I fished my phone from my pocket, noticing it was Halo’s number. “Hello?”
“Hey boss, it’s Traver.”
I stood from the bed. “Hey, Traver, what’s up?”
“So um ...”
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m not a rat—”
“Spit it out, Traver.”
“I’m not really sure about the protocol, and I would hold down the fort myself, but I think it’s more than drinking, man.”
“Traver, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Avery’s drunk. No—he’s wasted. He’s in bad shape, man.”
I took a deep breath trying to calm my anger. Avery knew better—he knew the law, and he knew how bad this would look to our patrons and our employees. We’d talked about it several times when we wanted to take shots with chicks or have drinks with our staff. We didn’t do it.
“I’ll be right there.” I turned back to Brooke after hanging up the phone and kneeled down so I was eye-level with the bed. Brushing her hair from her face, I said, “I need to go to Halo. Apparently, Avery’s drunk.”
She raised her head to look at me. “Really? But he’s working.”
I shook my head in disappointment. “I know. I thought he was okay to work tonight, but I guess I was wrong.”
“Okay.” She started to sit up, and I kissed her lips softly.
“Why don’t you and Peanut go to the movies or go shopping? Do something to get out of the house and get your mind off of things while I work tonight. Try not to think about what Megan said. Let’s wait until the colonoscopy and the genetic tests come back.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” She groaned and stood from the bed. “I’ll see what she wants to do. Gives me an excuse to eat my feelings.”
I hated to leave Brooke, especially after her appointment. The timing for Avery to get drunk on the job was horrible, but it wasn’t like him. I knew he was hurting. If I couldn’t be there for Brooke, I knew my little girl could help me. I texted Cheyenne before I left for Halo, hoping her phone was on silent while she was in class. Kids these days had cell phones at birth.
* * *
Me: Hey, Peanut! I have to work tonight. Have a girl’s night with Brooke, she needs it.
* * *
I arrived at Halo, thanking God that it wasn’t happy hour or a busy time of night when the bar would be packed. There were only a few people at the bar, some at high top tables too, but no one dancing like you’d find on a Friday or Saturday night.
I spotted Traver first, and he nodded toward Avery who was behind the bar talking to a brunette. They both took a shot, and then Avery turned to go down the bar to help another customer. My blood boiled as I stalked toward the dark oak bar ready to grab Avery by his black Halo shirt and drag him to our office.
As I got closer, our eyes met. “What are you doing here?”
“Traver called me.”
“Why?” He looked over at Traver.
“Come with me to the office.” I silently prayed that he wouldn’t put up a fight. Luckily, he didn’t, stumbling as he made his way up the stairs. Once we were behind the closed office door, I questioned him, “Drinking on the job?”
“Fuck off,” he slurred.
“I get it, Av. Trust me, I get it. But you can’t drink in front of our customers and staff. You’ll give them the wrong idea.”
“I know, man,” he snapped.
“Plus, it’s illegal and we can lose our license.”
“I know!”
“Look, sit down on the couch and sleep it off. I’ll cover for you.” I grabbed his shoulders, trying to steer him to the couch.
“What about Brooke?”
“We’re done at the doctor’s.” He knew I’d needed today off because of her doctor’s appointment. So much for that.
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re sober. Just sleep it off, and I’ll wake you when we close.”
He stared at the couch for a few seconds, then looked back at me. “How many girls have you screwed around with on this thing?”
I smirked at him. “You don’t want to know.”
Since Brooke came into my life, I hadn’t wanted Cheyenne to feel as though I’d replaced her. Sure, Chey approved of her. If she didn’t, I would never have allowed Brooke to move in with us. And now that I had my head out of my ass and I wasn’t spending all my hours at Halo, I needed to make time with my peanut.
While Brooke took some time to herself, I took Cheyenne out to dinner. It was something that we never used to do because I was always working, and there wasn’t a day I didn’t kick myself for that. I let her pick the restaurant and the entire drive over to Cowgirl, where Cheyenne enjoyed eating a Frito pie out of a bag of Fritos, and while we waited for our waitress, she was glued to her phone. It bugged the fuck out of me. Kids these days were glued to their phone like it was an arm.
“Do you want to play softball again?” I asked after we ordered our meals.
Cheyenne rolled her eyes as she continued to stare at her cell phone. “Of course, Daddy.”
“And you still want to play third?”
“Yep.”
“We need to work on your batting.” I took a sip of my water.
“I kn
ow.”
“Are you going to stare at your phone all through dinner?”
“I’m playing Minecraft and our food’s not—”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Put the phone down, Peanut.”
“But—”
“No buts. We’re having dinner, and I want to talk to you.”
“We are talking.”
“Cheyenne,” I groaned, “put the phone down or I’ll take it away.”
She glanced up at me, and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Fine.” She huffed and set the phone on the table. “What do you want to talk about?”
Shit, what did I want to talk about? “Um … Have you talked to Grandma about what kind of birthday party you want this year?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“What if, instead of Grandma planning it, we ask Brooke if she wants to?”
She shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. To me, it was a big deal, and I knew it would be to Brooke too.
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes again.
“Do you know what you want to do?”
Her eyes lit up. “Can I have a sleepover?”
“A sleepover?”
“Yeah.”
“How many girls are we talking?”
“I don’t know. Ten?”
“Ten!” I exclaimed.
“Actually, maybe eleven since I’ll be turning eleven.”
“Do you know eleven girls?”
She stared at me like I was an idiot. “Well, there’s,” she began counting on her fingers, “Courtney of course.”
I nodded. I’d figured Courtney, since she was at my house a shitload anyway and had spent the night a ton.
“And Erin, Bridgette, Jodi, Vanessa, Jenni with an I—not Y, we don’t like her. Lisa, Sara—”
“Wait,” I held my hands out in front of me to stop her. “I thought you didn’t get along with Lisa or Sara?”
“Dad!” she exclaimed with another eye roll. “We made up before school was over.”
“Oh,” I said as if I knew girls fought and made up like it was nothing. I thought females held grudges? Must be a woman thing, not a girl thing.
“Maria, Sandra and Nori,” she continued.
I blinked, trying to remember all the names she mentioned. “So you want all those girls to spend the night?”
“Yeah.”
“At the same time?” I questioned as I pictured twelve ten and eleven-year-old girls running around my house.
She laughed. “Yes, at the same time. This is going to be so much fun. I can’t wait!” She reached for her phone again.
“Put the phone down.”
“Daddy!”
“New rule: no phones at the dinner table.”
“But—”
“What did I say?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and averted her eyes. Luckily we were saved by the waitress bringing our food. Now I had to tell Brooke I’d agreed to this sleepover without talking to her first. I definitely wasn’t used to running things by someone. Hopefully, Brooke wouldn’t be mad. If she ended up mad …
Well, I was looking forward to the make-up sex.
A few days had passed, and I was trying not to think about the ongoing C word that seemed to consume my every thought. My colonoscopy wasn’t scheduled for another week, and my blood had been drawn for the genetic testing. However, the test could take a month or more to come back with the results because they had to send it to a special lab for testing. It was as if I was in a revolving door and it was spinning round and round with no exit in sight. I wanted answers, and I wanted answers now. I didn’t want to wait. If I had cancer, I wanted to take action and fight it, not wait for a test to come back.
Luckily I did have something—or someone to keep my mind off of it. I was finally going to see my sister. I couldn’t wait to see her, hug her, wrap her in my arms and squeeze the shit out of her. But first, I needed to stop at Nicole’s parents’ house and check on her. She was still avoiding everyone, but she’d texted to let us know she was okay and staying with her parents. For so long she’d told me how much of a piece of shit Jared was. She was always giving me tough love, and she never sugar-coated anything, so I needed to do the same to her. I knew her heart was breaking, but Avery was a good guy. He was perfect for her and made her happy, and I knew if she were still pregnant, they would still be together. I also knew in my heart that if she never would have gotten pregnant, they would still be together. I had never seen her happier or more alive than I had when she was with Avery. They had something special.
And she was throwing it away.
I pulled in front of Nicole’s parents’ house after the long drive. The entire way I’d thought about how I was going to convince my sister to move to the Big Apple. Even being four and a half hours apart was too far. Before I moved to New York, she’d already had plans to move back to Boston. It was easier to move back to what you knew and where you’d grown up. That was probably why Nicole ran back to Boston, but New York was where our new lives were. Easton and Avery moved from California and made new lives for themselves, and it was finally time we all did the same.
I just needed to convince my two favorite girls.
After I’d texted Easton that I made it to Boston, I got out of my car and made my way to the front door. Knocking on Nicole’s parents’ door felt awkward. They were like the parents I’d never had. Even though I had a mother, she was never around much when we were growing up. When I met Nicole, we were fifteen, and I knew her parents were keeping an eye on me. They never said anything, but they always invited my sister and me over for dinner, and they would come to all of our softball games. When it was my turn to have snacks after the game, Nicole’s mom would just happen to have a bag of oranges and bottles of water in her car. So knocking on the door felt weird, but they didn’t know I was coming.
When Nicole’s mom opened the door, and she wasn’t surprised to see me, I relaxed. “It’s about time you showed up.”
“Sorry, I had a doctor’s appointment that I couldn’t miss.” I wrapped Robin in a hug, wanting to tell her about the appointment even though I couldn’t yet. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I knew for sure. If they knew, I’d have to answer questions like how I was feeling or if I’d heard anything yet. I wasn’t ready.
“She’s on the couch.” She pointed toward the living room, and I sighed as I shook my head, already knowing Nicole was in her pajamas at three in the afternoon … or still in her pajamas for that matter.
When I rounded the corner, my eyes locked with Nicole’s eyes, and she began to sob. My heart cracked a little bit more. I hated seeing her hurting, but I needed to be strong even if I had to fake it. Once she and Avery were back together, I would have my best friend back. Then I could tell her what was going on in my life and we could be there for each other.
“Come talk to me.” I motioned with my head toward her bedroom.
She sat up, her dad watching her. “Make her take a shower too.”
She groaned, wiping her tears as she followed me to her room. “How is he?” Nicole closed the door behind us.
“Pissed.” I chuckled under my breath and sat on the bed.
She started to cry again. I pulled her to me on the bed and wrapped her in my arms. We didn’t speak for several minutes as I rubbed her back until her tears started to subside. “Do you blame him?” I finally asked.
“No.” She shook her head, not lifting it from my shoulder.
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, Nic, but you have to know that Avery would’ve helped you through it. He loves you.”
“I know,” she sniffed. “But I didn’t want him to feel like he had to.”
“Had to help you through it?”
“Yeah,” she said dryly.
“Are you insane?”
“What?” She lifted her head and turned to me.
“I’m gonna give it to you straight. For years, you told me to leave Jared. You knew my feelings fo
r him, but yet you were still a bitch about it. Do you know why you were such a bitch?”
She stared at me, her eyes wide. “I didn’t like the guy because he wasn’t good for you.”
“Exactly. You knew he wasn’t, and I know that Avery is good for you. So I’m going to give you the same treatment. You need to pack up your shit and go home, Nic. Avery’s your home now. I know why you came here. You wanted your mom and dad to take care of you. I get it. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but moving back in with your parents isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I know. I just needed time.”
“I came here wanting to see how you were doing, and the first thing you asked me was about Avery. You obviously miss him and want to be with him. Why are you two hurting when you can be together and happy?”
“He probably doesn’t want me back. I broke his heart—I lost our baby.”
“Do you honestly believe he doesn’t want you back?”
She stared at me again.
“Do you think that, in just four days, Avery’s going to forget about you and move on?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Why are you being so mean to me?” she asked, a frown on her face.
“It’s called tough love, Nic. You need tough love now. Two of my favorite people are hurting, and if I need to slap one upside the head so she’ll open her eyes, I will.”
“But I lost my baby, Brooke. My baby!”
“And he lost his baby and the love of his life left him. I know it was tough—still tough. But you had a miscarriage. Women have those all the time. It doesn’t mean you can’t have children. I might… Look, why not try again? You’re not broken.”
“You might what?” Here eyebrows furrowed.
“What?”
“You said you might, and then you stopped.”
“Oh. I … I might force you to make another baby.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood and focus the subject back on her. I’d almost slipped that there might be a chance I could never—or should never, have a baby of my own.
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