by Tina Saxon
As we walk out to the elevators, Harper leans over and whispers, “Let me know if you need a breather.”
I stand tall and nod. I can do this. This is my job. I love my job.
Pulling up to the house, the media already occupies almost every piece of lawn space. The sound of a group of vehicles parking quickly grabs my attention. I look up and find two black SUVs, their doors swinging open. I stop and see who gets out. My head knows that Aiden doesn’t come back for at least another month, but my heart skips a beat hoping to see him hop out of the vehicle. Instead, my eyes land on Damon. He gives me a half smile and mouths, “Okay?”
I twist my lips, taking a deep breath in and out. I nod.
“You alright?” Harper quietly asks from behind me. I grab my kit from the back of the van and turn toward her.
“Yep. I don’t know what it’s going to be like when he gets back into town.” I sigh.
“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you,” she says, wrapping her arm through mine. “Now let’s go find some evidence to catch this asshole.”
As always, we push through the questions being thrown at us with determination. It’s not until a reporter yells something about me being capable of doing my job because of what I went through that I almost trip. I tighten my grasp around my field kit as heat crawls up my body. I can’t help it when my mouth opens to tell the jerk off, but I stop when a hand wraps around my arm.
“Ignore them,” Damon whispers. “You’ve been cleared to work. Don’t second-guess yourself because these assholes are trying to get a story.”
I clench my teeth together, and we continue walking into the house. Two detectives join us when we enter, as well as the FBI agents. We’re debriefed quickly. Family of four all shot, man, woman, two kids: a boy and a girl. They estimate the time of death at around midnight. All the bodies were found in the bedrooms. When they report the woman was raped, my spine stiffens. I already knew this would be the case, but it still gets to me.
Harper leans over and whispers, “You get the kids’ rooms, I’ll do the parents’ room.” I nod in agreement and quietly breathe a sigh of relief. God, I love her.
A few hours later, I’m in the last room to be analyzed. I take out my notepad and start taking notes. Looking around the room, my eyes land on the tiny, lifeless body on the bed. How someone can be so cruel to harm such innocent children always baffles me. I pull out my camera and take a few pictures. I walk around the room, looking at the drawings on the walls of clouds and sunshine, the name Lexi spelled across one wall, little girls’ princess dresses thrown all over the floor, the pictures on the dresser. One picture is the victim with another girl. Their smiles brighten the whole picture, but what catches my attention is the other girl. Her eyes match her hair, caramel-colored but outlined in green. I’ve never seen that coloring in eyes. They are beautiful. As I glance from picture to picture, my brows furrow. Why is that other girl in all the pictures, some by herself, some with the family? What’s missing is the daughter in all the pictures.
“Something’s not right,” I whisper. I turn and look around the room again, looking for an answer. I glance to the lifeless child and back to the pictures of the parents. She doesn’t resemble them, but there are a million reasons that could be. I look back at the other girl and chills run down my back. She looks identical to the mom.
I turn my head thinking I hear a noise, but it’s so faint that I could be imagining it. Focusing on the noise again, I hear it coming from the closet.
Oh, shit.
I walk to the closet, barely leaning my ear against the door, and hear soft sobs. I gasp. Oh, my! Knowing what I’m about to find, I slowly open the door. Crouched in the corner of the closet, a pair of huge, caramel-colored eyes look up to me. Tears fall down her face as she hugs her legs close to her chest. I try to look at her body to see if she’s hurt, but it’s hard when she’s curled up so tight.
I kneel down in the closet. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. My name is Addison, and I’m with the New York Police Department.”
She stares at me but doesn’t move an inch. “Are you Lexi?” She slowly nods her head. I exhale quickly. “Are you hurt?” She shakes her head. I close my eyes and drop my head.
I glance to the bedroom door, wondering how I should handle this. I can’t believe they missed that the little girl wasn’t the daughter. I need to let the detectives know that Lexi is still alive. They’re going to have a shit storm coming when the parents of the little girl find out. And it won’t take long. I also need to get her out of here without her seeing her friend.
As I start to stand up, Lexi lunges for me, grabbing me. Her arms wrap around my waist like a vise. I kneel back down and wrap my arms around her.
“Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you, sweet girl.” My heart hurts for her. “We’re going to have to go downstairs, but I need you to close your eyes really tight and not open them until I tell you.” She doesn’t say anything but digs her head into my shoulder and squeezes her arms around my neck. I scoop her little body up while I stand and her legs wrap around me. She’s like a spider monkey holding on for dear life.
“Okay, I’m going to walk you downstairs. Keep those eyes shut,” I say as I back out of the closet. Her little body starts to shake, and I’m not sure if she’s going into shock or she’s crying. “Shh … I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay, Lexi.” I don’t know what else to say. It’s a load of bullshit because I know firsthand that it’s not going to be alright. As I’m walking downstairs, Harper notices me. Her eyes get huge and she’s about to say something, but I put my finger to my lips. She meets me at the bottom of the stairs.
“I need you to find Damon. Meet me in the guest room.” I already know that the guest room is clear, and we need to make sure to keep her out of sight of the media. For now.
I walk into the room, shutting the door behind me. “You can open your eyes now, Lexi. Can I place you on the bed?” I ask softly. She shakes her head violently, not even looking up to me. “I’ll sit on the bed and you can sit with me.” She doesn’t move so I guess she’s okay with that suggestion. Damon comes into the room right as I sit down. His eyes widen in disbelief.
“What? Who is that?” Damon asks as he crouches in front of me, looking her over.
“Lexi, this is Agent Damon Flores. Can you say hi?” Again, she shakes her head. Damon looks at me, tilting his head with an arch of his brow. I can’t just come out and say her friend was killed, so I ask, “Lexi, did your friend spend the night with you last night?” She slowly nods her head. Damon nods his also in understanding.
“Can you tell us her name?” Silence.
“Lexi, are you hurt at all? Can I take a look at you?” Damon softly touches her back and the most God-awful scream comes out of her mouth. I jump at the horrible noise and shove his hand away, hoping it’ll make her stop.
“It’s okay, Lexi. Shh … Damon isn’t going to hurt you.” I begin to rock her. She quiets, but her vise grip is suffocating. “Alright, sweet girl, I’m not letting you go, but you’re going to have to loosen your grip a little bit.” She does exactly that, just a little bit. Damon finds this amusing. I kick my leg out, kicking him in the shin.
I mouth to him, “What do I do?” He shrugs. I narrow my eyes and twist my lips. I’m seriously in unknown territory here with this kid.
He mouths back, “You’re the woman.” My mouth drops open. I roll my eyes and flip him off. Asshole.
“Stay here, I’ll go find out what we need to do.”
As I’m rocking Lexi, I feel her breathing slow and her arms fall lax against my shoulders. I’m fairly certain she has fallen asleep. I hesitate to move her because I really don’t ever want to hear that shrieking noise that came out of her little body again, but my arms are falling asleep. I gently and slowly stand up and her body is still limp, so I lay her down on the bed as softly as possible. I manage to get her on the bed without waking her up. I shoot my arm in the air. Yes!
I look over he
r, making sure she isn’t noticeably hurt anywhere. I exhale quietly, relieved. My eyes gloss over thinking about the long road this beautiful little girl will have to endure. Long, caramel curls with soft highlights frame her little face. She’s got the perfect little button nose and her long lashes flutter as she drifts further to sleep. I cover her with a blanket and walk to the door.
Wrapping my hand around the doorknob, I turn it so slowly that I wonder if it’s even turning, hoping it doesn’t make any noise. When it stops, I turn and look back at Lexi. She hasn’t moved, so I pull open the door. Light floods the room, so I quickly shut the door from the other side.
I rub my face with my hands. The heavy burden I feel for that little girl is already messing me up. It has to be because I know what it’s like to be in her shoes.
I stay posted outside the door, not wanting to leave Lexi. Damon’s watching me as he’s on the phone. He’s shaking his head, clearly as lost as I am about what to do. Harper comes up to me. “I’ve started on Lexi’s room. What the hell happened here?”
“I don’t know. She won’t talk, but I’m assuming she might have heard something and hid, and the killer didn’t know about the friend,” I say.
“How are you doing?” she asks, concern in her voice. “I know this might hit a little close to home for you.”
I shrug. “I’m okay. My heart breaks for her because … well, you know.” I take a deep breath and blow out my cheeks.
Damon struts over to join us. “So we need to get Lexi to the hospital to have her checked out. But we need to keep her status under lock and key since we don’t know if she’ll be in danger when the killer finds out she’s still alive. We also need to find out if she saw him. She might be the biggest lead we’ve had on catching this guy,” he says, crossing his arms.
Oh, my God! I didn’t even think about her being in danger. I shudder at the thought. “That asshole will not touch Lexi,” I say through gritted teeth. My need to protect Lexi catches me off guard.
Suddenly a scream comes from behind the door, sending chills down my back. I rush through the door with Damon and Harper right behind. Lexi is screaming, thrashing all over the bed. She’s still asleep. The monster that kids are always afraid of that live in the closet has now invaded her sweet dreams. He’s real and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
I scoop her up in my arms and hold her tight against my chest. Her arms are flailing as she continues to scream. She’s fighting her monster. As I’m trying to grab hold of her arms, a small fist connects with my lip.
I let out a groan. Shit, her little hand packs a punch. I grab her hands and wrap my arms around her. “Lexi, wake up. It’s just a dream.” I automatically start rocking her. After a few minutes she settles down, opening her eyes. When she sees me, she digs her head into my chest and starts bawling.
“I want my mommy,” she hiccups through her sobs. It’s the first time I’ve heard her voice. I look to Harper and Damon for assistance, but all I get is silence. Harper’s hand is over her mouth, her eyes watering. Damon turns away, aggressively running his hands through his hair.
What the hell am I supposed to say? I am not going to be the one to tell this child that her mom is dead. Since it’s obvious I’m not going to get any help from the two people standing in this room, I murmur, “Lexi, your mommy had to go to the hospital.” Two sets of eyes land on me in surprise. I shrug, tightening my lips. When they both nod, I continue. “So we’re going to take you to the hospital, too. Okay?” I lightly brush the hair off her tear-soaked face. Her bottom lip trembles, but she slowly nods.
“I’ll pull the SUV into the garage. We’ll load her up in there,” Damon says, backing out of the room.
“You go with her. I’ll call CJ to update her and have Alyssa come take over so you can finish up here.” Harper gives me a soft smile before leaving.
The ride to the hospital goes as smoothly as possible. Lexi’s hold on me never lessens. A couple uniformed officers and Damon escort us into an exam room. I try and place Lexi on the bed, but her unwillingness to let go of me has me sitting on the bed with her.
“Lexi, I promise I will stay right here by you, but you’re going to need to let the doctors have a look at you.” Two doctors walk into the room and introduce themselves. One of them I know, Dr. Terry. She’s a psychiatrist who works in the same building as Dr. Price, my doctor.
She gives me a warm smile as she walks to the other side of the room, taking a seat. Lexi lets the other doctor look her over as long as I’m sitting right beside her. I notice Dr. Terry assessing Lexi. I have a weird feeling she’s assessing me, as well. I’ve been going to therapists half my life; I know that look. I tilt my head, wondering how much she really knows about me. She writes a few things down then excuses herself, telling us she’ll be right back.
I bite my inner cheek, staring at the door. She probably heard that I lied to Lexi, and she’s trying to find a way to make me leave. I wouldn’t blame her. I’m fighting my own demons, I sure as hell can’t help anyone else, let alone an innocent child.
My eyes scan the room and land on Damon. He’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He arches his brow. I’m not sure if he’s questioning the doctor or me. I shrug. His guess is as good as mine.
After the doctor confirms that Lexi is physically okay, Dr. Terry comes back into the room. She slides a chair over to the bed. Lexi is leaning against my side as we sit.
“Hi, Addison. How are you doing?” she asks, making clear eye contact with me. Her voice is genuine.
I sigh. “I’m doing alright.” Please stop focusing on me. My foot starts wiggling as I break eye contact with her. I look down at Lexi, whose facial expression is ghostly. She’s pale and her eyes are glossed over. I pick up her hand and hold it. My chest tightens. I hate this.
“Hi, Lexi, I’m Dr. Terry,” she says, speaking softly. Lexi stays silent, frozen in place, except she squeezes my hand. Dr. Terry notices the reaction as her eyes trail down to our joined hands. “Lexi, do you remember what happened last night?” Her voice is calm, nurturing.
Lexi’s lips quiver as her eyes fill with tears, but she shakes her head. “Lexi, nothing that happened last night is your fault. You did nothing wrong.” Wow, I’ve heard this spiel before.
Lexi releases my hand, pulls her legs up to her chest, and hides her face while covering her ears with her hands. “I want my mommy,” her little voice cries.
I look up and blink quickly to keep the tears from escaping. Standing up, I feel the need to move around. My mouth feels like I’ve swallowed cotton, it’s so dry. I look around for something to drink. I’m trying to keep my composure, but Damon senses something is wrong and walks up and whispers, “What’s wrong?”
“I need some water.” He leaves but comes right back with a bottle of water. I gulp the whole thing down. Shit, I need to get out of here. Too many memories.
The feeling of guilt stops me. I told Lexi I wouldn’t leave her. I just need to suck it up. I take a few deep breaths in and out before I make my way back to the bed. When I sit down, Lexi falls into my lap. I run my fingers through her hair, the same way my aunt did for me all those years ago. It seems to help calm her. Focusing on her helps me turn my thoughts off.
The sound of someone opening the door has me looking up. Dr. Price? I tilt my head and narrow my eyes. Well, now I know where Dr. Terry went earlier. Isn’t this just so much fun. I look at Damon with wide eyes. He sticks his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
“I’ll wait outside,” he murmurs.
“Traitor,” I sarcastically respond.
“Dr. Price, what a surprise to see you here,” I say, pointing my glare at Dr. Terry. She flashes me a soft smile. I turn back, “I’m assuming you’re not here for Lexi?”
“Yes and no,” she states. I continue softly combing through Lexi’s hair. I glance down and notice that she has fallen asleep.
I raise my head. “I don’t understand. Why would you be here for Lexi? I know you bo
th are state-appointed doctors, but why would Lexi need two?”
“No, I’m not here as Lexi’s doctor. I’m here as yours.” I sigh and roll my eyes.
“I’m fine,” I huff. “This isn’t about me. It’s only about Lexi.”
The door opening has all three of us looking over. CJ walks in first and behind her is Todd, who is Damon’s boss, and I’m pretty sure there’s a social worker behind him.
I gently lift Lexi off my lap, laying her back on the bed so I can stand up. She remains asleep. “Let’s all go out of the room,” Dr. Terry says, motioning to the door. I look back at Lexi. “She’ll be okay, we’ll just be right outside the door.”
We all huddle around the door, Damon joining us. Todd starts talking first. “Here’s what we have so far. We found out who the little girl was and notified the parents. We still don’t know if Lexi will be in danger once it gets out that a friend was killed and not her. With that said, we will have a uniformed guard with her at all times.” He looks at the social worker and asks, “Have we found next of kin?”
“We think we found an aunt. Both sets of grandparents are deceased, and the father was an only child. We are currently tracking down the mother’s sister, but it doesn’t look like they stayed in touch.”
“We need to keep her in a safe location for now.” He turns to the doctors. “Do you think she’ll be able to give any information on the sub?”
Dr. Terry says, “In my professional opinion, based on her reactions I do think she saw something. It’s too early to determine what exactly she saw, though. It might take a few days talking to her to get her to open up.” She looks at me. “She seems to have bonded with Addison, and it’s critical for a child who has been traumatized to be with someone they trust. So I recommend she stay with Addison until the aunt comes into town.”
My eyes go wide with panic. “What?” I look around the group. “I can’t … I … I don’t know anything about kids,” I stutter. I look to Dr. Price for confirmation. Tell them I can’t do this.
Instead she says, “I think it’s a great idea.” Her lips curl up at my gaping mouth.