by Tina Saxon
“And then when I found out you moved to New York City, I thought it’d been enough time. You would see me and know that I was the one. But that FBI guy kept getting in my way,” he snarls.
“You didn’t have to kill those families,” I whimper.
“You were not going to be happy with anyone but me!” he yells as he stands up, hovering over me. I gasp at his abrupt movement. He’s starting to lose it. This is definitely not what I want. I sit back against the couch cushion to add a little space between us. I stare up to him, trying to think about what I should do. Reality sets in. It’s going to be me or him. We aren’t both walking out of here alive. I take a couple breaths, trying to calm my anxiety. I just need to get to my bedroom.
A wicked gleam in his eyes makes my insides quiver. My eyes flash quickly to the hand holding the gun and back. I follow his other hand down as he starts to unbutton his pants. “I’ve been waiting so long to feel the inside of you. I think it’s been long enough,” he says as he pulls the zipper down. A dark room and cigarette smoke fill my senses. I shake my head, reminding myself that I’m not there and my hands and feet are free. I am not a prisoner.
He can’t hold you down, Addison. You can fight.
He puts his legs on the outside of mine as he gets closer to me. I lean back, allowing more space between us. My position leaves me few options, but I still have one.
He smirks. “I can see it in your eyes, you want it, too,” he hisses, thinking I’m giving him room to get on top of me. He finds out quickly when I swing my leg up as hard as I can, connecting my knee to his groin that that is definitely not what I was doing. He cries out, doubling over. I jump up and run to my bedroom, slamming the door and locking it to give me a couple more seconds to get ready.
I grab my gun from my nightstand. Rocking on my feet in a squatted position, I tell myself I don’t have any other options. I hate him for making me do this. I hate him for killing all those women because of me. I hate him for trying to kill Lexi again. I hate him for making me feel like this is all my fault.
As soon as my gun is in my hand, I steady myself and wait. I don’t wait for long, though.
The door is kicked open. “You think this door will stop me, Addison?” he laughs wickedly.
No, but this will. I take three shots.
The shower has been running for an hour. I’ve stopped myself from checking on Addison over a dozen times. But enough is enough. I knock on the door. No answer. I blow out a ragged breath, leaning my head on the door. Please don’t hate me for coming in.
I turn the doorknob slowly, pushing the door open even slower, but it’s when I don’t see the outline of Addison’s body in the frosted glass that I start to worry. Fuck being careful. I run to the shower.
When I round the corner and look in, she’s sitting in the corner with her hands wrapped around her legs. Her head is against the wall and her eyes are closed. She looks like she’s meditating. I turn the shower off, surprised that the water isn’t ice cold, and she opens her eyes. Her red-rimmed eyes lock with mine.
“I’m sorry for going to my apartment,” she whispers.
Words that come to mind, I don’t dare say. Yes, I’m pissed. I’m pissed she is so goddamn stubborn. If she had let me go home with her, or she had stayed with me, I could’ve been there to protect her. You can’t always be there. The rational part of my mind reminds me of the one thing that I hate to admit, but I seem to think with the irrational part when I’m around her.
I want to be her protector.
I want to be her hero.
And I keep failing. But I’ll settle for being the person she needs to lean on right now. Help her get through this. So instead of saying anything, I grab a soft, white, cotton towel. I lift her up and wrap the towel around her. She gives me a soft smile as I lift her in my arms and carry her into the bedroom.
She sits on the bed as I dress her in a pair of her panties and a T-shirt that I had grabbed out of her bedroom before we left. When I’m done, she lies back and snuggles into my covers. I lie down beside her, pulling her into my chest. I can feel the warmth of her breaths on my shoulder.
“Why didn’t you become a musician?” she asks softly. So softly I almost didn’t hear her.
I jerk my head back, looking down at her. Where the hell did that come from? She looks at me expectantly. The randomness of the question still has me in shock; I’m more concerned with why she’s asking than to actually answer the question.
“Aiden, I’m okay,” she says. “I was just thinking about all the times you’ve sang to me, and you have an amazing voice. And you seem to love to sing.”
I stare at her apprehensively. I know she’s not okay, but maybe not thinking about it for a while will help her relax. “I don’t love to sing,” I say. She stares at me. Okay, so that wasn’t entirely correct. “I love to sing to you.”
Her smile widens. I run my hand down her arm until I reach her fingers, then I weave our fingers together. She squeezes my hand. “So, answer my question.”
Touching her has temporarily wiped my mind clean, so it takes me a few seconds to remember what the question was.
I nod slowly when I remember. “Before my mom died, I sang all the time,” I say. I chuckle to myself, remembering that I used to piss Max off by always singing. I tell her a couple stories of the times I embarrassed Max with my singing. It wasn’t until I started to attract the girls that he decided it wasn’t so bad.
“I played the guitar, so he learned to play the drums so we could play together. He’ll swear to this day it was only because the girls loved it.”
“How cute! You guys had your own little band,” she says. “What was the name?”
“What makes you think we named our band?”
She laughs. “Oh, please. You and Max and your overzealous egos. It was probably called something like…” she pauses to think, “…Audacious Flames.”
It’s my turn to laugh out loud. “Audacious Flames? We were thirteen when we named it. We didn’t even know what audacious meant. Hell, I’m not even sure I do now.”
“See! You did name your band!” she says, poking me in the chest. “Tell me.”
“Okay, okay. We used to deliver newspapers, so we went with Delivery Boys.”
“Oh,” she says blandly. “It’s catchy.”
“Well, sorry our name doesn’t live up to your Audacious Flames,” I say, tickling her.
She grabs my hands, begging me to stop. Instead, I flip her around and pull her into me, spooning her.
“Are you okay?”
She inhales deeply, blowing it out slowly. “I will be. I’m really surprised that I didn’t see it. I’m usually so good at reading people. I had him pegged so, so wrong.”
I stay quiet because I don’t want to tell her what I’m really thinking. I warned her. She didn’t listen. Silence consumes us for a few minutes before she talks again. Here I was thinking that she was deep in thought about the events of tonight, but instead she says, “So, did you stop singing because your mom died?”
“Are we on that topic again?” I ask.
“Yes! You never told me why you stopped.”
“When my mom died, my whole life changed. My priorities changed,” I say. I hug her tighter. I definitely don’t need this conversation adding weight to her already grieving body.
She nods her head slowly. “I understand,” she whispers. “It’s a shame. You could have been famous.”
“Then I would’ve never met you.”
“Oh, I’m sure I would’ve been your number one fan,” she giggles.
“Would you have flashed me while I was up on stage?” I say into her ear. My dick twitches, and I tell myself to shut it down. Just thinking about her glorious tits while she dances to my singing has me scooting my ass back a little bit so she can’t feel how hard I’m getting.
I don’t know why I thought having her in my bed, so close to me, would end up any other way. Any self-control flew out the window the second she
asked me to take the handcuffs off her at Travis’s.
“For you, definitely,” she says, laughing again. I thank God she doesn’t wiggle her ass back. “You seem to get me to do things I normally don’t do.”
The irony of that sentence isn’t lost on me. She has flipped my world upside down and sideways, leaving permanent marks in its place. I’ve never given someone this much power over me. Given. I chuckle to myself. More like taken. I would do anything she asks of me. Except leave.
I thought I would never sing again. I hadn’t sung in over twelve years before I met Addison. Now I can’t seem to stop. I’ve always thought the words that come out of music impact us more than just saying them. I was always able to express my feelings through music. That was before though, when I had feelings. When my mom died, everything went numb. I didn’t want to feel the words, definitely didn’t want to express them.
I wanted revenge.
But the first sight of Addison’s gorgeous body and her hypnotic, Caribbean-blue eyes … fuck, I was goner. I can tell from her breathing that she has fallen asleep. I kiss her on the head and whisper, “I love you.” She softly moans and scoots closer to me. Wrapping my arms around her, I drift off to sleep dreaming of concerts and her perfect tits.
I’ve been given a few days off. More like mandatory days off because I didn’t ask for them. Staying at Aiden’s apartment probably isn’t the best idea, but I don’t want to be alone at night just yet. Having his arms wrapped around me the last couple nights has made me feel more at peace than I’ve been in a long time. Just this morning I’ve received at least five texts from him checking to make sure I’m okay.
I’m fine.
More than fine.
Too fine.
What’s there to not be fine about? Lexi’s safe. I’m safe. Oh, well, maybe it’s the fact that I killed someone a few nights ago. Someone I thought I knew. Someone who was going to rape me.
I shouldn’t be fine. That’s why I have an appointment with Dr. Price today, at the suggestion of the department, Aiden, Sydney, and every freaking one else.
Okay, people, I’m going!
I’m always going. I already have a standing monthly appointment with her. I think I paid for that new Jaguar she bought a couple months ago. When I tease her about it, she laughs awkwardly. See, even she knows I come a lot, she just won’t admit it.
Therapy days seem never ending. I’m tired, starving, and ready to relax. When my cab drops me off, I notice Aiden’s beamer at the curb in front of his apartment. Hmm, that’s weird. I wonder where he went today that he needed his car. Walking into the apartment, the smell of Chinese food greets me.
I can feel Aiden’s eyes on me before I know where he is. I turn around after putting my stuff down on the entry table and find him in the kitchen. He’s leaning against the counter drinking a beer, his emerald green eyes pinned on me. My whole body tingles as I drink in his gorgeous body.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“Hi,” he replies, flashing a sexy, half grin. “Want some wine?”
“Some? I’ll take the whole bottle, please.” I sigh as I walk over to him.
Instead of grabbing my wine, he sets down his beer and pulls me into his hard body. I settle between his legs as his arms bind my upper body to his chest. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I melt into him. He presses his lips to the top of my head, resting them there. The love I feel through his touch, floods through me. My broken heart and body that I thought would never be whole again … I can feel it mending. Coming back to life with just his touch.
“Want to talk about it?” he murmurs.
I inhale a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “No,” I say somberly. “I’ve done enough talking about it today.”
“Addison …” He pauses for a moment. “I know what it’s like to kill a person. Taking someone’s life changes you. Please talk to me,” he says, pulling back so he can see my face.
When I look up at him, his eyes are pleading. “I will. Just not tonight.” I sigh, looking down. He places a soft kiss on my head again, steps out of our hold, and grabs my wine.
“Hungry?” he asks, nodding in the direction of the food.
“Very.”
After dinner, Aiden suggests watching a movie, so I grab some pillows and a blanket while he sets it up. Glancing out his bedroom window, I remember his car being out front.
“Aiden,” I say, walking out of the bedroom, “what is your car doing out front?” A mischievous smile crosses his face. I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows. “What are you up to?”
He laughs. “You’re too observant.”
I shake my head. “Um, you do know what I do for a living, right?” I giggle, laying the pillows and blankets on the couch.
“Well … since you’re off for the next few days, and tomorrow is the weekend, I thought we’d do something.”
“Something …?” I narrow my eyes.
“Will I ever be able to surprise you?”
“More than likely not,” I say, wrinkling my nose.
“Fine. Have it your way, spoil sport.” He laughs, poking me in the nose. “We’re leaving in the morning. You, Sydney, Damon, and I are all going skydiving.”
I squeal and jump into his arms, not even caring that I spoiled the surprise. He falls back on the couch with me straddling him. Not being able to contain my giddiness, I wiggle my ass in excitement, grabbing Aiden’s face with my hands.
“You are amazing,” I squeal.
Aiden’s hands grip my hips. “Sweetheart, you really need to stop that.”
I wasn’t even aware I was doing anything, but now that I am, the feel of his arousal against me causes a myriad of feelings. I gasp as heat streaks up my body at the same time my brain takes me to a place I don’t want to go.
I’m not ready.
“Sorry,” I say, jumping off of him. He grabs me and pulls me back to his side.
“That is not something to be sorry about. Ever,” he says, smirking. He leans over slowly and his lips are a whisper away from mine. My pulse increases as he remains there. Waiting for me.
The rise and fall of my chest intensifies as I close my eyes. “Open your eyes, sweetheart.” Aiden whispers. The warmth of his breath has my body shivering. I pry my eyes open. “It’s just me. The man who loves you more than anything in this world.” My eyes start to water at the depth of his words. “We won’t do anything you’re not ready for, but I want to feel your lips on mine. Meet me halfway,” he pleads, still whispering.
A lone tear falls down my face. He catches it with a kiss as soft as a feather, making my breath catch, but then returns to hovering over my lips. My resolve weakens as I lean in, our lips fusing together. I can feel Aiden’s breath hitch when I lean my body into his. The kiss is sweet and soft.
Aiden pulls back, cups my neck with his hand, and brushes his thumb across my bottom lip. He inhales sharply and brings his forehead to mine. We stay like that for a few moments before he places a kiss on my forehead and then stands up.
“I need another beer. Need more wine?” he asks quickly and heads to the kitchen. I turn to look over the couch and watch him. He adjusts himself, whispering something. I chuckle because I swear I hear him say Katie’s name.
“How was Syd’s reaction when you told her?” I ask while arranging the pillows and spreading out the blanket.
“Much like yours,” he says, shrugging, walking back to the couch.
“Well, if she jumped in your arms, too, you better not have had the same reaction you did with me.” I smirk. He sits down, handing me my wine.
“I didn’t tell her, Damon did. And I can promise you that if she did jump into his arms, I’m almost certain he’d have the same reaction.” He grabs the remote and looks over at me. “But I love that you’re jealous.” He winks and flashes his megawatt smile. I stick my tongue out and lean back into my pillow.
“Why in the world did you set up our pillows so far apart from each other?” He pouts, leaning back into his o
wn pillow. He stares at me, waiting for an answer.
Placing my glass on the table, I shrug. “I just thought—”
He grabs both my legs and yanks me over to him. I yelp. Lying flat on my back, I look up to Aiden’s gorgeous face. One that I will never get tired of looking at.
“Well, you thought wrong,” he says, pulling me up against his chest. “I need you beside me.” He kisses my nose and then turns me around, leaning my body against him. I feel like a ragdoll being tossed around. He exhales. “That’s much better.”
“I don’t know what just happened, but you could’ve just asked me to sit next you,” I say, playfully elbowing him in the stomach.
“What fun would that have been?” he says, tickling me.
I squeal as he continues to torture me. When he stops, I breathlessly ask, “Can I grab my wine now, or are you going to manhandle me again, thinking I’m moving?”
“I like to manhandle you,” he whispers in my ear. My whole body trembles. Ugh, this is exactly why I thought it was better if I was across the couch.
“How about you manhandle the remote and turn the movie on already.” I giggle, moving to grab my wine. I empty my glass trying to drown the heat tickling deep down in my belly.
Avoiding sitting back down right away, I go to the bathroom, fill my wine back up, and turn out the lights. By the time I sit back down, I feel like I’ve seized control of my body.
But how stupid am I? Aiden wraps his arm around my waist, resting his hand on my stomach, and that control I thought I had flies out the window. As he watches the movie, he’s not even aware of how his simple touch affects me. I’m so confused right now. How can I have an incessant craving for his touch, yet when I think about having sex I start to tremble? It’s like my body is playing a really twisted game. And I’m definitely not the winner.
“Stop thinking,” he whispers.
I try to relax and watch the movie, but every time he moves, my body reacts. His thumb mindlessly rubbing my stomach. The slightest touch of his head against mine when he takes a sip of his beer. Just the feel of his chest moving from breathing has my overstimulated nerves on fire. Is there a movie playing? I wouldn’t even know because I’m so wound up.