by Tina Saxon
Baby steps. My therapist says take baby steps. For the sake of my sanity I have to do something. Right now I’m so turned on that if he just said the word pussy, I’d have an orgasm. I want to grab his hand and stick it down my pants. I shiver just thinking about him touching me. I blow out a shaky breath, standing to get some air. As I stand, the effects of downing wine are apparent. I’m not sure though if it’s the wine that’s burning me or the gorgeous man staring up at me.
“What’s wrong, Addison?” I’m pacing, fanning myself.
“Be right back,” I murmur, walking to the bedroom, the wine fueling my courage.
Baby steps, it is.
There is only one thing that’s going to satiate this fire. I just hope it doesn’t fuel another one. I unzip my bag and grab a small pouch. I noticed it this morning when I was getting my stuff to take a shower. It must have been in there since we went to the beach last year. When I walk back into the living room, Aiden has paused the movie and is watching me with eagle eyes.
I sit down next to him, and I’m suddenly nervous. How do I ask him this? I inhale deeply, letting it slowly out. “So…” I pause for a second, “…I have a homework assignment.”
He raises a curious eyebrow. Grabbing his hand, I empty the little black bag’s contents in his hand. He looks at it and his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. Wrapping his hand around the small bullet, he looks back up to me. A salacious grin spreads across his face.
“So, what exactly is your homework assignment?”
“I’m supposed to masturbate,” I say quickly as I feel the heat of embarrassment spread over my face. I bite my lip, looking away from his grin. Shit, this just got awkward.
He cups my face with his hand, lifting it so my eyes meet his. “You sure you want my help?”
“Five minutes ago I was sure.” I let out a nervous laugh.
He leans forward. His lips brush mine and any awkward feelings I have diminish. I lean into the kiss and open for him. He moans when our tongues touch. He explores my mouth with such a soft caress as his hand runs through my hair. Nipping my bottom lip when he pulls back, he softly says, “If it gets to be too much, tell me to stop.” His eyes swirl with concern, lust, and love. I can only nod.
My breathing accelerates, not from being scared, but anticipation. He sits on the edge of the couch, lying me down. He lies to my side, head resting on his hand, and his eyes never leave mine. His hand travels painstakingly slow down my torso. As soon as his hand cups my sex, my back arches off the couch. I moan out with pleasure.
Aiden leans over and whispers in my ear, “Fuck. Still so responsive to me.”
My body shudders at his words. He moves his hand back up, moving it inside my shorts. I bite my lip, staring up into his eyes. He lowers his head and sucks on the lip I was just biting. My hips move of their own accord when Aiden’s fingers graze my clit.
My thought process becomes hazy as my body takes over, giving my mind the night off. My insides quiver when his finger skirts over my opening. The touch of his fingers are light, yet they have a purpose. His eyes stay glued to mine. It’s hard for me to keep my eyes open as the feelings rush through me. A feeling I’ve missed. A feeling I took for granted before. A feeling I thought I never would get back.
I can feel the wetness pooling as his finger’s pressure intensifies. I’m practically humping his hand, wishing he’d just get inside me.
“Aiden,” I plead. He slightly nods and smiles.
When his finger finally presses inside of me, I moan loudly. His fingers tease in and out of me. When I feel the vibration of the bullet on my clit, my body starts convulsing almost immediately.
“Oh, God! Aiden,” I scream and contract around his fingers, and he lets out a moan. My nails are digging into his muscular arms as I hold on through my release. I feel lightheaded and my breaths are erratic. He kisses me like he’s trying to breathe for me. Deep and passionate.
I did it. Well, I didn’t do it, Aiden did. I giggle to myself. The post orgasmic haze starts to clear, and I open my eyes to find Aiden staring intently at me.
“Thanks,” I say softly.
“Sweetheart, any … and I mean any time,” he chuckles, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. When he leans down, the feel of his hard bulge rubbing against my leg has my body humming already. The need to satisfy him has me pushing him on his back, straddling him.
His eyebrow arches as he watches me in silence. My hands rub his taut chest, slowly working their way down, gliding over his muscles. When my fingers gently slide beneath the waistband of his underwear, his hand stops me.
“Addison, you don’t need to do this. Tonight was about helping you,” he says sternly.
“You’re right, it is about me. About me taking back control. And right now, I want to feel you. So let me,” I softly demand.
He releases my hand and brings his hands behind his head. “By all means then, feel away. My body is your playground.” He flashes his megawatt smile, dimples on full display, and winks.
I undo his jeans, pulling them open. His hard cock presses against his black underwear. I slide my fingers underneath, brushing the tip. His growl has me looking back at his face. His breathing has accelerated and his lust-filled eyes are almost completely black with desire.
I stare into his eyes, completely mesmerized by how I can cause this gorgeous man to completely give himself to me. I wrap my hand around his cock, slowly stroking him. It’s the first time my body has felt another man since …
I freeze and squeeze my eyes shut. Begging myself not to go there. Think about Aiden. Instead, my mind takes me to a dark, musty room. The smell of cigarettes …
“Addison, open your eyes.” Aiden commands. His deep voice erases the room, bringing me back to the present. I exhale shakily and open my eyes. His hand is on top of mine, still on his cock. “Keep those beautiful blue eyes on me,” he says as he runs my hand over his still-hard dick. “Stop thinking. You are in total control here, you want to stop … we’ll stop. But it’s just me and you here right now.”
I wrap my hand around him, adding more pressure as I stroke him. I definitely don’t want to stop. As long as I stay here with him, I want this. He moans as he moves his hand off mine and slides it up my shirt. He runs his thumb over my hard nipple poking out of my bra. I lean into his touch, needing more. He licks his lips as his fingers find their way inside the cup.
Yes, please put your lips on me, I silently beg. As if he can read my mind, he sits up and yanks my shirt off. The second his mouth is sucking my breast, I arch my back, moaning out in pleasure.
The feel of his hard cock on my stomach reminds me that I was supposed to be relieving him of his needs. I bring his face up to mine, and we kiss deeply before I push him back into the couch.
“Stop distracting me.”
I hear Aiden’s front door open, and I can tell from the high-pitch squeals that Sydney has arrived. I’m just finishing zipping up my bag when she comes barreling into the bedroom.
“I can’t believe I’m going skydiving today. Eeek!” she screams. She’s called me every day, checking on me. But I haven’t talked to her since we had been told about skydiving, so I wasn’t sure what her reaction was. Her voice seems a little higher than normal today. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Syd is usually an excited person, but this is different.
Realization dawns on me. “You’re scared,” I say surprisingly. I smile wide. Sydney has never been afraid of doing things. Truth or Dare growing up, she always chose dare. She accepts things and takes them head-on. Well … maybe not some of my ridiculous stunts at trying to find bad people. She’s never quite understood my need for that.
She shakes her hands as she shifts from one foot to the other. “I’m scared to death,” she admits. “Look, I’m shaking.” She holds out her hand to show me the noticeable shaking. I grab it, holding on.
“You’ll be fine. Damon and Aiden have jumped hundreds of times. You will love it,” I say,
trying to reassure her.
She waves me off. “Rationally, I know that. I’m super excited, but that’s not helping my nerves. I mean nothing like thinking I’m going to fall to my death from ten thousand feet in the air.”
“Let’s go prove you’re a real pixie and can really fly.” I laugh as I grab her hand again and pull her out of the room.
Aiden’s on the phone saying good luck to someone and then hangs up. He looks at Sydney and then back to me, and I can tell something is off.
“So, Damon got called out on a case today, so he won’t be able to go …” Well, this sucks.
“I’ve already been. Why don’t you take Sydney up,” I suggest, interrupting Aiden. I know she’s scared, but I also know she really wants to do this. I’d hate for her to miss this opportunity.
“No. I can just go next time,” Syd says, looking at me. But I can already hear the disappointment in her voice.
“Would you two be quiet and let me finish?” We both whip our heads in Aiden’s direction. “Max is going to go with Syd, so we’re still good.”
Syd lets out a small laugh. “Oh, Damon will love that.”
Turning my attention back to Syd, I cock my head to the side. “Is there a reason Damon would be upset?”
“No,” she states. “He’s always been a little territorial.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, he’s dating a girl he met online.”
What? I look at Aiden. His eyebrow raises. This must be news to him, too. He flashes a mischievous grin. Oh, shit. Damon will never hear the end of this.
I’m still secretly hoping he and Syd get together. They have a connection. And if he’s getting jealous of other guys, then he still likes her. I was thinking this weekend might help move things along, but I guess that won’t be happening.
“I don’t want to be a third wheel with y’all at the beach house.”
“You’re going. End of discussion. Let’s go,” I say, picking up my bag.
“Wow. You’re sounding more like a mom every day.” She scrunches her nose at me, picking up her bag. I don’t know why, but hearing that makes me miss Lexi. I’ve talked with her already this morning, and she’s loving every second on the ranch. Hearing her tell me that she misses me pulls at strings I’m not even aware I had. Feelings that make me questions things.
I file those away for another day. They won’t be answered today. Aiden comes up and hugs me, and I melt into his arms. Memories of last night run through my mind. I shiver, remembering how worshipped I felt. My memories of that horrific night are slowly being replaced and pushed back into a dark place I’ll never let see the light of day again. I know I’ll never be able to forget those ten days, but the pain associated with the memory will eventually disappear. Time will heal my mind.
Aiden will heal my heart.
Aiden pulls me from my thoughts. “Sweetheart, as much as I love you in my arms, we need to leave.” He presses his lips to my forehead and whispers, “I love you.”
“Yes, because I’m already starting to feel like a third wheel,” Sydney says sarcastically.
The car ride is definitely not as eventful as the first time we drove up. I can tell Aiden is thinking about it, too, from his wicked smile and wagging eyebrows, his hand squeezing my thigh when we pass the spot where he pulled over when I had my mouth on his cock.
The memory sends heat straight down to my core, making me wiggle a little in my seat. His laugh is deep and sexy. The car’s atmosphere turns electric, evident by the exaggerated sigh coming from the back seat. I feel bad at first, then remembered all the times I had been subjected to the screaming of her current boyfriend’s name in the middle of the night during our college years. Yep, don’t feel bad anymore.
Syd’s eyes get huge when we park, and she notices the plane. “We’re going up in that thing?”
“Did you think we were going up in a seven-thirty-seven?” Aiden jokes.
“No … but I guess I thought it’d be bigger than that,” she says, pointing to the plane. I wrap my arms through hers as we walk to the hangar. I can tell she’s getting more nervous by the way she’s biting her fingernails.
“Why aren’t you dating anyone?” The memory of hearing her sex noises throughout the night make me realize she hasn’t mentioned any boyfriends since I’ve been back. Granted, it’s only been a couple months, and I’ve been busy with Lexi, but I’m hoping it’s not something I just missed.
“I’ve been on a couple dates.” She shrugs. “I just haven’t really had a connection with any of them. It just hasn’t been a priority these past few months.”
I sigh and my shoulders drop. I hate knowing people put their lives on hold because of me.
“Don’t think it’s been all about you, girlfriend.” She laughs as she bumps my hip with hers. “I had a new job, moved to a new city. I had a lot going on.” The new job she almost lost because she was flying back and forth to see me. “Addison Grace Mason,” she says sternly, stopping me. She had to go there, didn’t she? It’s been years since she’s used my whole name. I think the last time was when I learned Amy wasn’t my real aunt. Her big, ice-blue eyes look up at me. “Stop. Right now. You would have done the same thing for me.” I nod, knowing she’s right. I would have fought with everything I had to find her. “You have so many people who love you. You need to stop thinking you’re alone in the world, because you’re not. People worry about you, deal with it.”
She spins on her foot and pulls me forward again. I squeeze her arm. “I love you, Syd,” I whisper, blinking back the tears that are forming.
She replies softly without looking at me, “I love you, too, Addie.”
Aiden kept walking while we stopped. Smart man. He’s talking to Max up ahead. I smile to myself, thinking that Syd is right. I have so many friends who have become my family. Since my mom died, it’s always been hard for me to lean on people. If I didn’t get too close, I couldn’t get hurt when they left. I learned to just rely on myself. Not let people in. Syd wiggled her way in and never left.
I think about the people in my life now and I know that I would do anything for them, and they would do anything for me.
When we walk up to the guys, Max looks at me and says, “You okay?” The concern in his voice just reiterates my previous thoughts.
“I’m good. Just ready to jump.” I look at Aiden. I’m ready to jump with him. Wherever it leads. If anyone should know how life is so unpredictable, it’s me. I’m not wasting it anymore. Aiden flashes a knowing smile and pulls me in for a tight embrace.
“It’s just you and me, sweetheart,” he whispers in my ear. My hands squeeze around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
Max clears his throat, “So, it looks like you’re with me, Tink.” I pull back from Aiden and laugh loudly. He thinks her nickname is Tink?
Syd sighs loudly. “Tell me again why I’m putting my life in the hands of this man?” she asks, gesturing to Max with her hands.
“No, I think he’s just remembering me telling him you looked like Tinkerbell.” I giggle.
“Uh-uh, he knows darn well that is not my nickname. He’s just being an ass.” Syd rolls her eyes. Max barks out a loud laugh. What the hell? I didn’t know Max and Syd really knew each other.
“Your boyfriend going to be mad you’re jumping with me?” he asks with amusement.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Syd exclaims with her hand on her hip.
“Max,” Aiden says, “seems Damon is dating someone he met online.”
“No shit,” Max says, looking down at Syd who’s crossing her arms and has a red face.
I glance between Max and Sydney while they’re having a staring contest then to Aiden. What am I missing?
“Max is just being Max.” Aiden chuckles, grabbing Max’s shoulder. “Let’s go, children.”
Max growls under his breath. “I’ll show you child. I’m a hundred percent man,” he says, grabbing his crotch.
My eyes go wide. I would expect this from Damon, but Max? Never. He’s
more of the reserved guy, likes to watch from the sidelines, and you never see him coming until it’s too late. That’s Max.
“Oh, my God! I’m going to die,” Syd says dramatically.
“Max, play nice. Sydney is nervous, and you’re not helping,” I grind out, pushing his arm.
Max stops and looks back at Syd, who hasn’t moved from her spot. “Tink, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” His voice turns serious, but I’m still surprised he’s using that nickname. He walks back to her and surprisingly throws her over his shoulder. “Stop sulking and let’s go fly.”
She screams and kicks her feet, yelling his name. A large hand lands on her ass, smacking her silent. I gasp, waiting for the shrill voice to come. When he keeps walking past us, Syd’s submission shocks the hell out of me.
I turn toward Aiden, and I know what he’s thinking. The devilish glint in his eyes as he bites his lip has my body wanting to jump on him and run away at the same time.
“Don’t you dare. I told you already what would happen to that hand,” I say instantly, already backing away from him.
His emerald green eyes gleam with challenge as his lips curl into a salacious grin. I twist my lips, watching his every move. Challenge accepted.
The second I see movement of his foot, I turn and run toward the hangar. He’s close, but not close enough. Instinct has me turning to see where he is. Unfortunately, instinct doesn’t know about the rock I’m about to trip over.
“Shit,” I scream on my way down onto the grassy area. I roll as much as I can to avoid the hard impact on my knees and hands. Thanks, Tony, for teaching me that trick.
“Nice dismount,” Aiden jokes as he reaches me.
“Haha, funny man. Help me up,” I say, putting out my hand for him to grab.
Aiden holds both his hands up in the air, shaking his head slowly. “Nope. I fell for that once.” He smirks. “Last time I got kneed in the nuts and shot.”