Christmas Kisses with My Cowboy

by Diana Palmer

  Even now, she remembered the searing pain in her side. Red seeping through her white nightgown and staining the carpet beneath her. She struggled to breathe, her lungs frozen from being thrust backward, and the corners of her gaze turned black. Then her daddy was there, standing over her and asking her to open her eyes. His face was contorted in anger and concern, his hands ever so gently holding her.

  He whispered, “I’m so sorry,” over and over.

  “My dad’s aim was better,” she continued. “Not lethal, but accurate enough that Officer Harding retired shortly thereafter. The man who read to me every night before bedtime and braided my hair when my mom couldn’t be bothered shot a policeman.” Her throat closed on the last word. “And that’s only husband number one. I can tell you more.”

  “Baby,” he said, situating them so that they were both on their sides, facing each other. He wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “There are so many things seriously screwed up about what you just told me, but none of that is on you.”

  “I know that now, but for years I played the ‘what if?’ game. What if I hadn’t gone downstairs? What if I hadn’t moved when I did? What if my dad had simply let Officer Harding in? What if he hadn’t had a gun?”

  “You can’t go down that road—it will drive you mad. Trust me.”

  “The worst part is I still love him,” she whispered, horrified at the admission. “He’s a bad man and I still love him.”

  Noah rested his forehead against hers. “He’s your father. Of course you still love him. People aren’t all good or all bad. Some make better choices than others. But none of what you’ve told me changes anything about the way I feel for you.”

  And, right then, sitting under a blanket of stars, Faith fell headfirst into every kind of love with Noah Tucker.

  Chapter Eleven

  Saturday morning dawned early on the day of the Shindig, tapping a steady rhythm on Faith’s eyelids for her to rise and shine.

  “Five more minutes,” she pleaded, pulling the covers over her head. That was her Christmas wish. Five more minutes of being horizontal and snuggled under the cozy blanket. Five more minutes to dream about Noah and his magical mouth.

  That whole night had been magical. From the minute he took her hand until he helped her to her car—kissing her good-night before she drove off—the man never missed a step. Even when she’d confessed about her family. He’d been so understanding, patiently listening while she went into greater detail about her life with Hope.

  She felt safe with him. No, he worked hard to make her feel safe. Every touch, look, and thoughtful word was a testament to the kind of man he was. Nothing about him was impulsive or rash, and selfishness went against his very nature. Noah was stable and honorable, and even though she had no idea how things would work between them when he went back to Austin, Faith had zero doubt there was a “them.”

  Faith was in a “them” with Noah. A warm burst bubbled up from her belly, leaving her dizzy with happiness. Not only were things in her love life progressing nicely, but all fifty-dozen cookies had been baked, frosted, wrapped, and were spread out on her kitchen counter, ready to go. And she’d managed to catch two whole hours of sleep.

  She was tempted to add a third but wanted to check on her cookies and make sure all the frosting and piping had held under the cellophane bags.

  She pulled on her housecoat, freshened up in the bathroom, and headed for the kitchen, turning up the thermostat on the way. Coffee fix satisfied, she inspected her cookies, pleased with the end result. She had frosted and painted them, adding edible sparkles in the white piping, so the trim and ball of the Santa hat caught the sunlight.

  Selecting a bear whose hat was deformed from the reject pile, she took a bite, giddy at where it fell on the yummy scale. The maple frosting was a delicious contrast to the peppery hint of the ginger and rich molasses.

  She took another bite as the doorbell rang. Looking at the clock, she wondered who would show up so early. Then she thought of Mable’s threat and groaned.

  Cinching her bathrobe belt, she peered through the peephole and her heat leapt. It was Noah.

  She turned to lean against the door, a smile the size of the North Pole completely overtaking her face. She could feel the heat building in her cheeks, and her heart beat faster and faster.

  Taking a deep breath, she ran her fingers through her hair, then breathed into her hand—thank God she’d brushed her teeth.

  She opened the door and there he was. Looking big and beautiful—and all hers.

  “Hey,” she said, rolling her eyes at how lame she sounded. “This is a surprise. Not to mention, perfect timing. I have to transport six hundred cookies from my kitchen to my car and get them to the bake sale in a little over an hour.”

  “Hey, angel,” he said, in a tone she couldn’t quite place. But it wasn’t good.

  He ran a hand through his hair, which was going every which direction, as if he’d been tugging at it all morning. And his posture was similar to how he’d looked during the early stages of the wrapping party.

  “You want to come in?” She opened the door wide and everything slowed to a stop.

  Logan stood behind Noah. Sheriff, she corrected, taking in his uniform, grim expression, and the way his hands rested on his belt, tugging at his coat and making everything important visible.

  “Is Pax home?” Logan asked.

  There was no reason for the knot of terror forming between her ribs. She’d known these men for half her life. But she knew those looks as well and everything inside her screamed to lock the door and hide.

  “He’s asleep. Why?”

  “You might want to wake him,” Noah said at the same time that Logan held up a pack of papers and informed her, “We have a warrant to search the bedroom and belongings of Pax Loren on One-Eighty-Three Wildwood Lane.”

  Every last shred of hope dwindled in her body, like water down a drain.

  “You’ve known my brother since he was a baby,” she said to Logan. “You don’t have to run through his identifiers.”

  “It’s protocol.”

  Faith looked at Noah, who remained silent.

  “I see.” She cleared her throat. “What is the warrant for and why do you need to search his room?” She leaned a casual shoulder against the doorjamb, slanting her body so she was blocking the entry.

  “Faith.” Noah reached out, and she flinched—big-time.

  “Don’t show up on my doorstep unannounced with a warrant and ‘Faith’ me. Just tell me what’s going on. I will comply, but I need to know what’s happening.”

  The men exchanged looks, a complete conversation going on between them without a word being uttered.

  “Someone broke into the Treats for Tots storage room and stole property being held for tonight’s event,” Logan explained. “This morning, a witness came forward, claiming Pax had not only been sneaking toys into his backpack the past few days but also stole cash from the manager’s office.”

  “There’s no way. Pax would never steal anything. Plus, he’s been doing the holiday camp program at the community center. I dropped him off at eight o’clock yesterday morning and he was there all day until I picked him up after my shift around six-thirty. He’s been with me ever since.”

  “The property in question disappeared from a secure storeroom connected to the community center,” Logan informed her. “One of the items missing is a laser gun set totaling three hundred dollars. There’s also a PlayStation and skateboard unaccounted for. My deputies are working with Treats for Tots volunteers to search the warehouse and find out if anything else is missing.”

  “So you don’t even know if it’s missing or misplaced, but you got a warrant to search my brother’s room? A warrant, Logan.” Faith’s body trembled all over. She held her arms tightly around herself for fear she’d shake apart.

  “The boxes were found last night discarded behind a Dumpster near the Corner Market,” Logan said. “According to Pax’s Dear Sw
eet letter, he asked for all three of those items.”

  “So did half the boys in town. But I guess Pax is the only one whose dad is a felon.” She looked at Noah, eyes pleading. “Tell him Pax isn’t like that.” He remained silent. “Tell him.”

  But Noah didn’t tell the sheriff anything. He stood stoically by, on her porch stoop where he’d left mistletoe days before, and simply said, “It’s the exact laser tag set he and JT were looking at on my laptop.”

  “And are officers at your house, questioning JT?” she demanded.

  The two men exchanged a meaningful look and Faith shook her head.

  “Of course not.” She laughed bitterly.

  “When we rode up, we spotted a red backpack stuffed behind a planter in the side yard,” Logan said, holding it up. “It wasn’t hidden well and was in clear sight. Is this Pax’s?”

  God, no! She immediately recognized the backpack. It was her hiking backpack that she kept in the garage. Logan slid open the zipper with a pencil and Faith felt sick.

  Inside were two neon blue laser guns with coordinating helmets and vests. “I don’t understand. He must have borrowed them from a friend.”

  “I’m pretty sure we’ll find they match the empty box discarded in town,” Logan said, and Faith covered her mouth.

  “Maybe he bought them. He’s been mowing lawns all summer and fall and doing odd jobs for our neighbors.” She looked at Noah. “Tell him Pax isn’t like that.”

  Noah ran a hand over his face. “Angel, those are worth at least three hundred.”

  “Plus, there’s another two hundred and change in the front pocket,” Logan added, and Faith sagged against the doorframe.

  Where on earth would Pax get two hundred dollars?

  “It all totals somewhere close to a grand,” Logan finished.

  “I don’t know how this all got here, but there has to be a logical answer.” Afraid she’d pass out, Faith placed a hand to her forehead and concentrated on slowing her breathing.

  “Angel.” Noah reached for her and instinctively she recoiled.

  She held up a hand. “I need to know if you are here for me or to help Logan?”

  Noah met her gaze, strong and steady, and a small flare of hope flickered in her chest.

  “Of course I’m here for you,” he said, and she nearly wept. “When Logan told me what was going on, I made him promise to call me before he issued a warrant so I could be here when he arrived.”

  She staggered back a step, as if her heart knew it needed space for her brain to process what he’d just said. But no matter how many different ways she came at the situation, it always ended with the same gut-wrenching conclusion. “You knew they were looking into my brother and didn’t call to warn me so I could, I don’t know, make sure Pax was prepared for cops to storm his house?”

  “Logan called me as a courtesy,” he said. “It’s not my case, Faith.”

  Something sharp and painful tore through her chest, piercing her heart. “I’m glad someone was afforded the courtesy. And I’m glad this isn’t your case, because it un-complicates matters.” She walked to the door, which was still wide open, and said, “I’ve been warned. You can leave now, Noah.”

  “Let me help.” He walked over and offered her his hand. She crossed her arms so she wouldn’t be tempted to take it. “I know how these things work. If Pax simply explains what happened and returns everything, I’m sure he’ll get off with a warning.”

  Noah looked at Logan, who mumbled something about an agreement, but Faith was too busy trying to keep her heart from breaking in two to focus on the exact words. “You knew about this hours ago and decided to wait for Logan to tell me?”

  “It was his call. Logan wanted—”

  “Stop.” She shoved at him. Logan stepped forward but Noah signaled for him to give them some space. “Oh, you don’t need to step outside, Sheriff. We’re done.” She looked back at Noah, not bothering to hide her devastation—or anger. “I don’t need to hear anymore. You answered my question.” Her voice caught and she pressed a hand to her stomach. “I can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “This. Us.” The last word came out on a half sob. “Get out.”

  “Are you kidding me?” he asked, sounding as if he were the injured party. “I came here to help you.”

  “I don’t need saving.”

  “Faith?” a small voice called out from behind her. “What’s going on?”

  Noah’s breathing stopped and Logan let out a long-suffering sigh. Closing her eyes for a moment, because she would not lose it in front of Pax. He needed her strong. She cleared her throat, then turned around with a confident smile.

  “Hey, buddy. Sorry we woke you.” She took in his sleep-heavy eyes and the sheet print on his cheek and resolved that nothing would harm her brother. If this was going to happen, she’d make it as easy as possible. And that meant being his shield. “I have something to ask you. Sheriff Miller’s here because some toys and money were taken from the community center. Do you know anything about that?”

  He yawned and shook his head. “No.”

  Faith took the red backpack from the sheriff and Pax’s gaze immediately dropped. “Did you take these from the storage room?”

  “No,” Pax said, the shock on his face genuine. Relief rushed through her until her legs felt as if they were about to give. She walked to the couch and sat, patting the cushion next to her. The two men followed but remained standing.

  “Pax, this is serious,” she began. “Our family only works on trust, you know that. So I need you to look me in the eye and tell me the truth, knowing that no matter what you say, I’ve got you. You understand, we’re in this together.”

  “I didn’t steal anything,” he said, and she believed him.

  Faith wasn’t being naive. She knew that kids lied to their parents all the time, including Pax. But he’d never lie over something like this. They were more than family. They were all each other had. Pax knew how hard she’d fought to keep them together and he’d never do anything to risk their being torn apart.

  “Where did you get the money?” Sheriff Logan asked.

  “I earned it,” Pax said, using a tone that was a little big for his britches.

  “You will answer the sheriff with respect, even if he isn’t affording us the same courtesy.”

  Pax looked the sheriff in the eye. “I can’t say, sir.”

  Logan blinked “Can’t or won’t?”

  Noah got down on his haunches in front of Pax. “Look, buddy, this isn’t the time to hold back. If you can explain how you rightfully came by this money and the toys, now’s the time to tell.”

  Pax’s face folded with confusion. “Me telling you I didn’t isn’t enough?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  Pax looked over at Faith, worrying his lip. “So the only way you leave my house and I’m not in trouble is for me to get someone else in trouble?”

  And wasn’t that the worst part. That Pax was discovering precisely how backward the legal system was, and he hadn’t even reached high school.

  “Did this someone else steal the money and toys?” Noah asked.

  Pax shook his head.

  Faith watched the man who’d promised her he’d never hurt her exploit his relationship with her brother to question him.

  Not going to happen.

  Faith stood and put her hand on Pax’s shoulder. “Why don’t you take Sheriff Miller to your room and let him look around? But don’t answer any questions unless I’m there.”

  “I know the law,” Logan informed her.

  “So do I, Sheriff.”

  She waited until they left the room, then met Noah’s gaze, hers pleading for him to be the man he’d promised to be by the creek. “If he’s saying he didn’t do it, then can you trust me when I promise that he didn’t do it?”

  “I know this is hard.”

  “Hard? You have no idea what this is for me.”

  “I can imagine, and it’s
tearing me up inside,” he said, and there was so much compassion and concern in his tone, she prayed that what he’d said before had been a mistake. A momentary misfiring, and the Noah she’d fallen for was back. “And I know you want to believe him, believe that he’d never lie to you, but in my experience—”

  “He’s my family and I want him to know that his well-being is all that matters to me. I want him to know that family doesn’t assume guilt and apologize later. I want him to know that when you love someone, they believe in you and let the facts reveal themselves.”

  “Life doesn’t always work that way,” he said sadly.

  “Maybe not, but love does.”

  “I’ve seen people’s lives ripped apart by blindly loving. In my experience anyone will lie under the right pressure.”

  Wow. The hits kept coming.

  This hit, though, this was the one that was going to take her down—later, after Pax was okay and this mess was sorted out. The unexpected impact would shatter so many things inside her.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Noah. Because I would never lie to you. But clearly you lied to me, because if you cared about me the way you said the other night, you would have come straight here when you found out what was going on. You would have walked in here protecting me instead of trying to sweet-talk Pax into confessing to something he didn’t do.”

  “What if he did?”

  “Then that’s for Logan to deal with. We should have been your main concern.”

  “Faith, we’re talking about some stolen toys and a few hundred bucks. When adults ask kids hard questions, sometimes they lie. Especially to adults they don’t want to disappoint. And, angel, you are my main concern.”

  Her heart gave up hoping, because his meaning came across loud and clear and was currently ricocheting around her empty chest cavity. Even if he hadn’t yet realized what he’d said. She had.

  And when people tell you who they are, Faith thought it smart to listen.