by Tara Sue Me
“I can see now that’s not the case because they absolutely love Evan.”
She never sensed anything was off until she’d moved in with him, and one day a friend mentioned they hadn’t seen her in forever. Looking back, she saw they were right. The only people they were ever around were his friends. After realizing how he’d isolated her from everyone, she became scared and then angry.
“The first time he hit me was when I told him that night I thought it’d be best if we saw other people. He punched me in the stomach, said, “No,” and then asked what was for dinner.”
They’d dabbled in BDSM before then, but he ramped it up after that, even taking it outside the bedroom. Whenever she went somewhere, he’d follow her or have one of his men do it for him. He had trapped her, and she had no way to get away. Their new BDSM play differed from anything she’d experienced before. She was always scared, often hurt, and rarely given any pleasure in return. He seemed to thrive on her fear and got off on humiliation. One night after a harrowing psychological scene, she curled up on the floor of his playroom because he’d deemed her unworthy to sleep anywhere else. There, in the early hours of the morning, she devised a plan to bring him down.
“I knew if I didn’t get away from him, he’d end up killing me.”
The next day, thanks to an anonymous tip, the State of Texas was able to bust an illegal dog fight club the authorities had been after for years. Not only were club members into dog fights but also drugs. Randy was at the club when everything went down, just she knew he would be. The exact moment he was having his rights read to him was the moment she moved out of his house for good. His henchmen weren’t watching her because they were trying to get him out on bail.
“It was denied because they'd found he’d booked a one-way flight to Russia.” She snorted. “I now refer to that ticket as the best money I ever spent.”
Of course, Randy wasn’t about to let her go that easily. He sent her message after message about how she would regret leaving him and not standing beside him to defend him the way she should. How he’d make her life a living hell, even from behind bars.
But she saw all that as empty threats and nothing she needed to worry about. She did her best to leave him behind and pretended to all who knew her that she was fine. She went so far as to date a few random guys her friends set her up with, but never made a second date with any of them. The truth was, she hated dating those guys.
“I was always on the lookout for any sort of red flag and spent most of the date tearing apart every word a man said in search of one.”
Still, she thought, all in all she’d done a decent job of getting on with her life.
Until Randy was released because of a technicality, and she feared he’d be back to make good on his threats. Upon hearing of his upcoming release, the first thing she did was run to the closest bathroom and vomit. It hit her, there on the cold tile floor, she’d never moved on. Shortly thereafter, she contacted Kelly.
“And the rest is history,” she finished with a smile she didn’t feel.
Orson sat still beside her, lips pressed together, and eyes lit with fury. “Don’t do that,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Do what?”
“Smile like you’re fine and everything’s fine.”
She dipped her head. “I’ve done it for so long, I don’t know what else to do.”
“Be yourself,” he told her. “That’s all I want from you. To be honest with me. If you’re afraid, you tell me. If you’re angry, I want to know. If you’re down or don’t feel right, don’t wear a mask, let me in.”
“The only person I’ve ever been like that with is Kelly, and even then, I don’t tell her anything.” Kelly knew Randy had hit her, but Kiara never told her about the mental abuse.
Orson took a deep breath and his shoulders lost some of the rigidity that had been present moments prior. “Why do you think you never told her?”
She didn’t reply right away. He moved his good hand to the top of head, and pulled his fingers through her hair with long, smoothing strokes. God, the man had magic in his fingers. She closed her eyes, and with every pass through her hair, it was as if he healed a small part of her battered heart.
His question resounded in her head, and with her answer, the truth she’d never acknowledged poured out of her. “I didn’t tell her because I was ashamed. Of what, I’m not sure. Maybe because I allowed him to treat me like that or because deep down I thought I deserved everything he did to me. I don’t know.”
Orson’s voice was rough with emotion. “You know neither of those is true, right? You weren’t in a position to fight him, and fuck no, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I swear to God, when I get my hands on him, he’s dead.”
“No, Orson.” She turned to look at him. “Kelly wanted to do the same thing. I wouldn’t let her do it, and I won’t let you, either. He’s not worth ruining your life for.”
“I don’t know if that’s for you to decide or not.”
He didn’t push anymore, but she knew him well enough to know his silence wasn't acquiescence. She would rather talk about anything else, but she knew she had one more thing she needed to tell him.
“Those tracks Jedidiah came over to talk to you about the other day?” she asked.
If her question surprised him, he didn’t show it. His face remained expressionless as he answered. “Yes, what about them?”
“Do you think?” She looked down to her lap, swallowed, and lifted her head once more. “Do you think there’s a possibility that it could be Randy or his men?”
He didn’t answer right away, and she appreciated that he took his time to think about his answer before giving it. “So far the tracks have only been seen on Jedidiah’s land. While I won’t dismiss them as not belonging to either your ex or someone related to him, I think if they were, we’d see some here. Kelly has assured me there haven’t been any.”
Kelly had told her as much, but she wanted to hear Orson say the same. Kiara loved her sister, yet she worried at times Kelly wasn’t telling her the entire truth. “You would let me know if anything made you think for a second it was him, right?”
“Kiara,” he said, looking her straight in the eyes, and his ferocity took her breath. “Listen to me. When I told you earlier that whatever it was between us required honesty, I meant for that to go both ways. I’ll be honest and transparent with you, just as I want you to be with me. Being honest, doesn’t mean half truths or hiding something. If I ever have the smallest inkling that piece of shit is so much as thinking about you, you’ll be the first to know.”
She believed him. Orson wasn’t the type of man to throw out promises flippantly. If he said he’d tell her something, he would. “Thank you.”
He reached up with his good hand and ran a finger down her cheek. “There’s no reason to thank me for doing what is decent. My goal is to one day have you realize you deserve more than mere mediocrity and that when someone gives you their word, your expectation should be that they keep it. That should be the rule, not the exception.”
She understood his words, but found it difficult to believe it would actually happen like that. Maybe in his mind it made perfect sense, but that hadn’t been her experience in the past and she didn’t see any reason why people would change for the better in her future.
Her doubt must have shown on her face. He chuckled and gave her forehead a kiss. “You’ll see I’m right one day.”
She wanted nothing more than to believe him.
Chapter 17
Orson
It took everything he had to keep his temper in check, so Kiara wouldn’t know how angry he was. He didn’t want her to have any reason to think he was angry at her for anything. Maybe she didn’t pick up on the fact he never said he’d leave Randy alone. More than likely, however, she’d dropped the subject of her ex and planned to bring it up later. That was fine. Though he normally wouldn't push aside a topic needing further discussion today, he didn’t w
ant to waste anymore time talking or thinking about Randy.
He’d wished he’d been able to talk with Jedidiah earlier, not only so they could have discussed what the hell happened with Kiara in the playroom, but also to get some followup on the tracks. Yes, Jedidiah had said he’d keep Orson updated on his investigation, but that had been before he’d joined them in the playroom.
Orson had told Kiara the truth when he said he didn’t think the tracks were related to Randy. He believed if they were, matching tracks would be found on his own property. Randy didn’t seem like the kind of guy content to stalk what he viewed as his from as faraway as Jedidiah’s property. Especially if he knew how much of her time was spent alone with another man and in his house. If Randy knew Kiara had played with him, more than likely he’d be diabolical.
However, just because he didn’t think the current tracks weren't related to Randy didn’t mean some wouldn’t pop up soon. He’d mentioned his concern to Kelly, and she’d agreed. Her team was on high alert and looking for anything the slightest bit out of place or suspicious.
Kiara stood and, in a move that left him momentarily stunned, knelt at his feet, looking up at him with wide, trusting eyes.
His hand immediately went to her hair. “Kiara?”
“Will you tell me about your past?” she asked.
He didn’t want to. Nothing to do with her, but he didn’t want to talk to anyone about his past. Even Evan didn’t know everything. It had been Orson's plan to take the nightmare of his childhood to his grave. Maybe he could fill her in on the highlights and then skip ahead to college and better times all around.
But as he looked into her trusting eyes, he knew she’d shared something deeply personal and painful with him. He couldn’t do any less. “My past isn’t all sunshine and happiness, Kiara. Most of it’s dark and ugly.” As soon as the words were out, he realized it didn’t matter. She’d just finished sharing her very own dark and ugly past.
“And?” she asked, obviously sharing his thoughts.
He gave her a weak smile. “You’re right, of course. But if I’m going to talk about this, I want you to be in my lap and not on the floor.”
You’d have thought he’d given her the moon. He needed to remember how much she craved touch. It hadn’t escaped his notice she never failed to relax at his touch. She crawled into his lap, careful of his ribs and not to cause him any pain.
“Better?” she asked.
Normally, it wouldn’t be. He had never been comfortable with a lot of physical contact. He’d always wondered if that had anything to do with why he enjoyed domination so much. Because it gave him control over how much someone touched him.
But that wasn’t how it was with Kiara. He wanted to touch her, and it amazed him how his touch affected her. Not only did he not mind touching her, it was quickly becoming not only something he liked, but something he needed as much as she did.
“Much,” he agreed, and seeing no reason not too, started telling his own story. “I never knew my mother. My father never mentioned her, and it wasn’t until I was older and looked into myself that I found out she died in childbirth.”
Kiara gave a gasp of shock and tightened her arms around him. That was all it took for him to confirm he’d made the right choice in her being the first to hear his story.
“By that time,” he continued. “I was seventeen and getting ready to graduate. My father had been remarried for about twelve years. I can’t be nice about my stepmother, Lenora. I’m not sure why he married her. The only thing I’ve ever been able to come up with is that she blackmailed him somehow. She was a bitter and angry woman who’d had a strict religious upbringing and was hellbent to spread those beliefs with the rest of the world. In her mind, the best way to start was with her own family.”
Kiara’s face mirrored the horror he’d felt growing up in that toxic environment.
“I confronted my father about my mother’s death, but I made the mistake of doing so while my stepmother was with him.” He shook his head, remembering that day in its every miserable detail. “She laughed and said my mother had been a witch and did the devil’s work. My father didn’t say a word to stop her from spewing her lies about my mother. He just sat there and let her. I didn’t know her, but she was my mother and I felt the need to defend her. But that woman wouldn’t let me get a word in. Lenora said she only had one regret from that day. I didn’t know what she could possibly be talking about until she said she never should have let the devil’s son live. Even then I was so stunned it took me awhile to realize she was talking about me.”
“Oh my, God, Orson,” Kiara said, her face pale. “Oh my, God.”
Kiara had endured her share of hardships, Orson couldn’t deny that, but her childhood hadn’t been taken away from her before it started. She had the fortune of being born into a loving family who had always supported her and still did to this day. He imagined her difficulty in comprehending a childhood other than her idyllic upbringing. Just as he had no idea what it would be like to grow up with unconditional love.
He’d made it this far in his past. He took a deep breath, prepared to finish. “My father told her to be quiet, but she snapped back that she’d been quiet for long enough. He said nothing else against her. I couldn’t believe he just sat there. This woman admitted to killing his wife, and also regretted not taking out his son as well? I later discovered he’d always known about my mother, but to this day I’m uncertain if he knew how she felt about me or not.”
He glanced at Kiara, but she appeared speechless in her shock.
“I moved out of the house that day. I didn’t take a lot with me. Just a few items of clothing. I slept on friends’ couches until graduation and the day after, I moved to Delaware where I had a full scholarship and started working. I never went back and I haven’t talked to my dad since the day I moved out.”
“Can't say I blame you,” Kiara said with a shiver.
He tightened his arms around her. “I heard from Lenora.”
“You did?”
“Right after I opened my first club in Las Vegas.” He remembered answering the phone and hearing her voice. He thought his father had passed, but that wasn’t why she called. “She told me my current occupation only proved her point that I was the son of the devil and should be destroyed before I further polluted the earth. I hung up on her.”
“She doesn’t deserve the label stepmother,” Kiara said. “There’s nothing motherly about her.”
“I agree,” he said. “But I can’t think of anything vile enough to call her.”
“Tell me you haven’t heard from her anymore.”
“I haven’t.” When he was younger, before he learned what she was truly like, he used to brainstorm things he could do to make her like him, but nothing he did was ever good enough. She always found some fault in whatever he did.
“You are truly an impressive man,” Kiara said.
“What?” Part of him expected her to run away from him as hard as she could after learning the truth about his past. He should have known better. Kiara wasn’t like that. To think she would snub him because of his stepmother was to underestimate the kind of woman she was.
“To grow up around so much hate,” she said. “And not to be consumed by it as an adult.”
“It was a deliberate choice,” he said. “I refused to let her change me or to become bitter and hateful like she was.”
“Exactly,” she said. “That’s what makes you so impressive.”
He didn’t consider it impressive, but rather not letting his stepmother win. He wouldn't argue with Kiara about it, not when there were so many other things he’d rather do with her. She’d stop him if she had any idea what his plans were for the rest of the day, so he wouldn't tell her. It was probably too early for what he had in mind, but damn it all, he was going for it. He’d go slow and be gentle.
He positioned her so she straddled him. “I don’t know if all of me is impressive, but there are a few parts of me I’ve
never had a complaint about.” He ended with a roll of his hips to show her one part in particular.
She sucked in a breath, even as she shook her head. “Orson, I don’t think…”
He leaned close, with his nose to her neck, inhaling the unique scent of her. “Then don’t start now.”
“Orson,” she spoke with more force, pushing back with her hands on his chest. “You shouldn’t.”
“I think I’m the best one to know what I should and shouldn’t do.”
“But—” she started, stopping at the touch of his finger against her lips.
“Shh,” he said. “If you see me show any signs of distress, you can stop me.”
“Sure,” she said. “I’m sure I’ll be lucid enough to make that call.”
She wouldn’t be anywhere near lucid if he had his way about it, but he wouldn't agree with her for fear she’d tell him no. But he wouldn't lie to her, either.
“I promise, I won’t be anywhere near as forceful and rough as I was before,” he said.
She lifted an eyebrow as if she didn’t believe him, and he really couldn’t blame her. Thus far any time they'd been together, he'd been both rough and forceful.
“I can be slow and gentle,” he said.
“I wasn’t even aware slow or gentle were in your vocabulary.”
“Are you sassing me, girl?” he asked, trying to use his serious Dom voice, but failing miserably because he loved it so damn much when she got cocky with him.
“Of course not, sir.” She fluttered her eyelashes wildly. “I’m not sure I know how to sass.”
“And now you’re making it worse by lying.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off with a sharp slap to her upper thigh. Her resulting moan was enough of a reminder that this wasn’t a road he needed to continue down if he had the slightest hope of being slow with her.