“How do you suggest he do that, stand on street corners, waiting for crashes to happen so he can desensitize himself?”
I see her point. “Well, maybe he doesn’t have to get over it. I mean, living in the city, he doesn’t even need a car.”
“That’s true. One more reason he should live here,” she says sadly.
“Are you sorry that he’s not back in Kansas City?”
“No. I know it’s bad for him there. And having him here just makes me excited to come visit.”
“What am I, chopped liver?” I ask, laughing.
“Never,” she says.
I turn off my treadmill and wipe my face with a towel. “Well, Denver doesn’t need to be in a hurry to get a job,” I say. “It sounds like he’s set for money, and I’m not sure anyone is hiring now anyway. He can enjoy holidays and your wedding and then see what’s out there. Plus, he wouldn’t want to miss the bachelor party because of a new job.”
She raises her eyebrows. “I wasn’t aware they had planned a bachelor party yet.”
“Yeah. Brady and Caden told me to keep a few days open the week after Christmas.”
She nods. “That’s when we’re doing my bachelorette party as well. Are you going to come?”
I laugh. “To your bachelorette party? I don’t think so.”
“But you’re my ‘man of honor’,” she says, pouting.
“Penny, I’m not going to go to a strip joint with you and your friends to watch you tuck dollar bills in some guy’s banana hammock.”
“We’re not going to a strip joint. Wait, are you? What are you guys planning? Are you getting him a stripper?” She puts her head in her hands. “Oh, God, he’s going to get a lap dance, isn’t he? It’ll probably be all over the Internet, too.”
“We’re not getting him a stripper. The plan is to go to Atlantic City.”
“Really? You promise?”
I step off the treadmill and put my arm around her. “Aspen, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Says the guy who was left at the altar.”
“You don’t really think Sawyer would do that to you, do you?” I ask. “Not after all you’ve been through.”
She shakes her head. “No. I know he wouldn’t.”
As we pass the front desk on the way to the shower, I see Caden’s wife talking with a tall redhead and someone else who looks vaguely familiar. Penny grabs my arm, pulling me over to them.
“Didn’t Murphy just have twins?” I ask Aspen in a whisper. “She still works here?”
“Caroline and CayJay are almost a year old now. She still helps manage the gym, but not on a full-time basis.”
“Hey, guys,” Murphy says in greeting.
Aspen pulls the familiar-looking woman in for a hug. “Oh, sorry,” she says. “I’m all sweaty, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” Penny turns to me. “Bass, do you remember Piper Lawrence?”
“From the Knicks game last year. Yeah.” I hold out my hand. “How are you?”
I remember meeting her and her famous husband who plays football for the Giants. If I recall, he’s also part-owner of this gym. Last summer was a surreal time in my life. Aspen had just started … well, for lack of a better word—dating—Sawyer, and because of it, we were introduced to a lot of famous people.
“I’m good, thanks,” Piper says. “Nice to see you again.”
“And this is Charlie Stone,” Aspen says, introducing me to the tall redhead.
“Ah, the wife of the private investigator,” I say.
She smiles. “That I am.”
“Would the two of you like to join us for lunch in the café?” Murphy asks. “We can talk about the wedding plans.”
“I’d love to,” Aspen says. “But Bass has a phone call to make.”
“I do?”
“Yes, you do. Now go get on with it. And I want details later.”
I don’t know if I should be irritated with her persistence, or grateful for it. “Fine.” I turn to the others. “I’ll leave you girls to your lunch then.”
After I say goodbye and walk away, I hear Charlie say to them, “I’ve only got an hour before I have to pick Eli up from school.”
“That boy is adorable,” Murphy tells her.
I stop in my tracks and look back at them.
Eli.
Aspen looks at me as if she knows exactly what I overheard and exactly what I’m thinking. She gives me a soft smile. Then she puts her hand to her ear with her thumb and pinky out to the side, signaling a phone.
“I’m going,” I mouth to her.
Back in the locker room, I sit on the bench and look at my phone, wondering if it’s the right time to make this move. My finger hovers over her name for a few seconds before I make the call.
“Hello?” she answers after two rings.
“Hey, uh … it’s Bass.”
She laughs. “I can see that. Your face popped up on the screen.”
“Oh, right. Listen, I was wondering if you’d like to get a cup of coffee.”
I don’t hear anything, so I look at the phone to see if we’ve lost our connection.
“Are you still there?”
“I’m here,” she says. “I guess coffee would be nice. When?”
“How about now?”
“Right now?”
“Sure. Unless you’re busy? Are you at work?”
“No. Not busy and not at work.”
“Great. I’m just finishing up at the gym. How about you meet me at the Starbucks on Forty-first in an hour?”
“I suppose I could do that.”
I hear the hesitation in her voice.
“Okay. See you then. I’m looking forward to it, Brooke.”
~ ~ ~
“I’m surprised you called,” Brooke says after we find a table.
“Why would you be surprised?” I ask. “We talk sometimes.”
She wrinkles her nose. “We don’t talk, Bass. We text. And it’s not like we ever really say anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure they have all been obligatory birthday texts or some other well-wishing pleasantries.”
I nod. “I guess you’re right. I’m sorry. I should have reached out to you a long time ago. I’ve wondered how you are and what you’ve been up to.”
“Have you?”
“Of course I have. We didn’t exactly break up because we didn’t like each other, you know.”
“No, I guess not,” she says. “So, how’s your job going? Every time I hear a siren, I think of you.”
“It’s great. I love it. Best decision I ever made. The guys, and girl, there are like family to me. How about you? Are you still working with the children’s symphony?”
She smiles. “I am. But I’m also thinking about going back to school for my master’s.”
“Juilliard?”
“If they’ll have me.”
“I’m sure they’ll accept you. You play the meanest cello around.”
“Thanks, but seriously, you should hear some of these kids. They are so young but so incredibly talented. No way was I that good when I was their age.”
“I’m sure you were. You just don’t look at it that way.”
“So, I saw Aspen a few weeks ago,” she says hesitantly.
“She told me.”
“She’s getting married next month, huh?”
“She is.”
Brooke eyes me speculatively. “Are you okay with that? I mean after everything?”
I nod. “I’m fine. I’m over her. That’s old news, Brooke.”
“But you’re still friends?”
“I’m her best man, or ‘man of honor’ as she likes to call me.”
“That’s nice,” she says. “And speaking of weddings and stuff, did you ever go on our honeymoon?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I did.”
“How was it?”
“Hawaii is incredible. Just like your parents said it would be. Did you ever make it there yourself?”
“Not yet. Someday
.” She picks at a spot on the table. “Did you … did you take anyone with you? Aspen maybe?”
“No. I’m not sure Sawyer would have appreciated that, however platonic it would have been.”
“So you went solo?”
“Yup.”
I find it hard to make eye contact with her when all I’m doing is thinking about Ivy. I came here to forget her, and Brooke had to go and bring up Hawaii. Fuck.
She takes a long sip of her coffee, studying me over the rim of her cup. “But you met someone there.”
It’s not a question. It’s a statement.
“Am I that transparent?” I ask.
She laughs. “You always have been, Bass.”
“I did meet someone. But I’m not with her. We never dated after Hawaii.”
“I’m sorry. Does she live too far away?”
I shake my head. “No. She lives in New York. It just didn’t work out, that’s all. Some things aren’t meant to be.”
“And maybe other things are,” she says, flashing me a toothy smile.
I laugh. “Yeah. Maybe.”
“So, what keeps you busy when you aren’t working?”
“I play guitar, even at the station. Although I’m usually relegated to the garage. And during baseball season, I go to a lot of games. Hey, maybe you could go with me sometime, you know, when the season starts up again.”
“Sure. I think that would be fun.” She puts a hand on my arm and leaves it there. “I’m glad to see you haven’t given up the guitar.”
“Never. I still play every day.”
“I used to love to listen to you play.”
I try to look embarrassed. “Aw, that’s what all the ladies say.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Playing the cello is not quite as sexy.”
“What are you talking about? It’s sexy as hell. I guarantee every heterosexual guy who watches you play wants to be the cello and have you stroking him between your legs.”
She almost spits out her sip of coffee when she laughs. Then she raises her brows. “Every heterosexual guy?”
I shrug.
I shrug because I can’t honestly say yes. I mean, Brooke is very attractive. Hot even. And I want to want her. And because of the promise I made to Aspen, I’m going to try. But the truth is, there is only one woman’s legs I ever want to be between.
Brooke and I spend an hour chatting and laughing and I realize I’m having a good time with her.
Then I hear it. The barista calls out, “Ivy!”
My back stiffens as I look over at the counter. I see a woman going up to get her drink, but all I can see is the back of her coat and the wool hat on her head. It might not be her. It could be anybody. Then she turns around and I see her. Her cheeks are rosy red from the cold. Her coat is open, and her large baby bump protrudes out of the front of it.
She starts to walk toward the door, which means passing by our table, but then she sees me. She startles, almost dropping her coffee. She locks eyes with me and time stops.
My heart falls into my stomach and twists over and over. It’s been a month since I saw her at the flower shop. A month since I decided to stop letting my feelings for her rule my life. But as I sit here and stare at her, I know what a fool I am.
But the thing is, she’s staring back at me. She’s staring at me like she doesn’t have a ring on her finger. A husband at home. A baby in her belly. His baby.
Why is she looking at me like that? Like how she was at the bar and in the flower shop. Like she’s seeing her long-lost love.
“Bass?” Brooke says, rubbing my arm to try and get my attention.
Ivy’s gaze shifts to the woman sitting across from me. I watch as Ivy’s lips press together and form a thin line. She looks at Brooke, taking in her oval face and auburn hair. She stares at her hand on my arm. She closes her eyes and nods. And when she opens her beautifully sad eyes, they are full of tears.
Then she starts walking again, passing me without making any more eye contact on her way out the door. I turn around and watch her until she’s out of sight.
When I come back to my senses and realize what just happened here and how this must have looked to Brooke, I open my mouth to try and explain.
She holds up her hand to stop me. “Don’t tell me. That was her, wasn’t it? The Hawaii lady. Oh my God, Bass, is that your baby she’s carrying?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Her arms cross in front of her chest. “Based on the look on your face, my bet is you wish it was.”
All I can do is stare at her. I have no words. There is nothing I can say to change what just happened.
“Shit.” She laughs maniacally, shaking her head as she gets up from the table. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here. When are you going to stop falling for unavailable women, Bass? Are you so scared of a real relationship that the only women you will truly love are those who can’t love you in return?”
“I—”
“I’m not going to do this again,” she says with a bitter smile. “Goodbye, Bass. I hope you get everything you want.”
I stare at my cup of coffee long after Brooke leaves, knowing that everything I’ll ever want walked out that door right before she did.
Chapter Thirty-two
Ivy
“Just call us if you need us, honey,” Mom says. “Your father and I are here for you. Anything you need.”
“I think I just need to be alone today, if that’s okay.”
She nods and hugs me. “I understand. But if you change your mind …”
“Thanks, Mom. Daddy.” I hug my father and then they walk out the door.
Everyone has come to the apartment today. Alder brought me breakfast. Christina delivered me lunch. Neither of them brought Ricky with them. I think they knew that even though I now have a good relationship with my nephew, today was not the day I needed to see him.
Holly wanted to stay home from work and baby me today. She said Janie could cover us at the shop. But the last thing I needed was someone hovering over me when I just want to curl up in Dahlia’s blanket and look at all my favorite pictures of her.
The doorbell rings and I wonder who’s decided to be on Ivy watch now.
But it’s a delivery. It’s a huge bouquet of daisies. I search inside for a card, but there isn’t one. Still, I know who sent it. The arrangement is not from one of our shops, so there is only one person it could be from.
It’s funny, everyone else brought food. They all know that daisies were Dahlia’s favorite flower. But not one of them brought me any. Maybe they thought it would make me sad. But in some strange way, as impossible as it seems, I think Bass knows me better than my family knows me.
He knows that today is the one day I have to think about her. I have to think about all the good times. I even have to think about the bad times. Because thinking about it has helped me heal. Talking about it has helped me heal. And no one knows that better than the man who sent me the flowers.
On my way to put them in my room, the doorbell rings again. I close my eyes, hoping it’s him. Hoping he wasn’t really with that woman at the coffee shop the other day. The one who was touching him. And a part of me hopes he won’t take no for an answer this time. That he will say he will love me no matter what. Even if I’m married to someone else. Even if I have another man’s child. Even if that child will rip his heart out. Part of me wants him to claim me in a way that makes it impossible for me to fight him.
I rip open the door and then step to the side with a heavy sigh. “Hi, Eli.”
He walks in and wraps me in a hug. “Are you okay?”
I put the vase on the table. “I’m managing. How about you?”
“I’m okay.” He eyes the flowers. “Daisies? Who would send you daisies today of all days?”
“He would.”
“Who, Bass?”
I nod.
“Want me to get rid of them?”
I grab the vase protectively. “No,” I say, walking them
back to my room.
“Why would you want a reminder?”
I put the vase on my dresser and sit on the end of my bed, pulling Dahlia’s blanket onto my lap. “See, that’s what you all don’t seem to get. All of you do everything you can to take my mind off the fact that she’s gone. You want me to get out and party. Make new memories. Have new experiences. But Bass”—I start to choke up—“Bass orders flower pancakes for me. And he kisses me under waterfalls. And he … he sends me her favorite flower.”
Eli looks at me in confusion, studying my puffy face and red-rimmed eyes. “And that helps?”
“Yes, it helps,” I cry. “I’d never felt closer to Dahlia than when I was in Hawaii with Bass. He made me remember. He didn’t try to get me to forget. He’s the only one who didn’t.”
I see tears pool in Eli’s eyes. “God, Ivy. Then why won’t you tell the man the truth? You still love him. Everyone can see that. And he still loves you.”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t. He thinks I’m married.”
“What?”
I hold up my hand. “A while back he saw the ring.”
“And you didn’t tell him?”
“Of course not. Anyway, he’s with someone now.”
“Are you sure?”
“I saw him at the coffee shop the other day. And the woman sitting across from him was touching him.”
“Did he see you?”
I nod.
“What did he do?” he asks.
“He just stared at me.”
“He stared at you when he was with another woman?”
I shrug.
He sits next to me and holds me by my shoulders. “Ivy, why are you doing this to yourself? You are the smartest woman I know, but these last few months, you’ve just been so stupid.”
I laugh. “Gee, thanks.”
He puts a hand on my large belly. “I’m going to keep telling you this until it sinks in. This baby might not be like them.”
“I know, and I hope that it’s not. But if it is, I – I just can’t put him through that.”
“Maybe that’s not for you to decide. Look at Monica.”
Igniting Ivy (The Men on Fire Series) Page 21