Riddley Walker

by Russell Hoban

When we come up to them Chalker Marchman poynting to the girt big thing he said to Straiter Empy, ‘You can put a crew to busting this wewl melt it down like all ways.’

  Straiter lookit to me and I lookit to him and we boath lookit at that girt big thing what ben the death of my dad becaws they wan tit it out of the hoal in tack.

  Straiter said, ‘Bus it up?’

  The littl witey bloak said, Thats right. This aint Eusas head it aint no good to us.’ He said it like you do when the other bloak dont know what youre talking about becaws hes out of it. Pressurs littl barset I thot. I dint have no idear what he meant by ‘Eusas head’.

  When the littl witey bloak talkit Straiter dint look at him he lookit to Chalker Marchman. Chalker said, ‘Bes get on with it. This heres Belnot Phist from the Mincery.’

  So we got on with it. Chalker tol us Belnot Phist wernt 10 he wer 16 so at leas he wernt a kid. That dint make it no easyer taking do its from him tho. You cud see he knowit too and it thrilt him. All the time busting up that big thing I wer thinking how my dad dyd so that littl nothing bloak cud look at it and say he dint want it becaws it wernt Eusas head. We droppt the buster on it then we finisht up with han hammers. It were ful of stoany muck and rottin iron weals and gears it wer mor earf and stoan nor iron I never did fynd out what it wer. Jus 1 mor thing to make us feal stupid. Hammering and breaving in old rottin iron and thinking on Belnot Phist and Eusas head.

  Belnot Phist wer stopping on at Widders Dump. That same day he put a crew to cutting timber for a new projeck of his. It wer going to be some kynd of a working. Where they gone for the timber it ben a special place of myn. Where the old track sydls the hy groun sholder. It wer woodit with oak there. Hy groun on 1 side of the track and on the other it sloaps off sharp tords Widders Dump. The track runs pas that holler they call Mr Clevvers Roaling Place it wer the track we all ways took going to and from the form. It wer the shape of the groun I liket and the feal of it. That fealing you get on hy groun over looking the low. Some times sydling that sholder youwd see crows be low you cruising. Looking down from there at Widders Dump it seamt so low and littl it lookit easy ternt a way from. Back then I never Ice ben on that hy groun sholder oansome. Never ben any where at all oansome. Never in my woal life put foot outside a fents without at leas 5 mor for dog safe. I ben saving up that hy groun in my mynd tho. Thinking may be some time there myt come a time Iwd chance it oansome. I dint want no woodlings cleart there I jus wantit that place lef the way it ben. I tol my self never mynd but I myndit.

  That day who ternt up at Widders Dump it wer the Big 2 down from the Ram. Abel Goodparley & Erny Orfing the Pry Mincer & the Wes Mincer they all ready ben Shorsday Week with the sess men which they revver newit the fraction for the Ram and done a show. They wernt dew agen til Rising but here they wer. 1 of ther sir prize visits they done that every now and then. We wer busting iron in the hoal and here they come a riving. Goodparley & Orfing the Big 2 when they pult in some where they dint tern up like outpaths and lorn in the worl. They roadit with 50 hevvys and 6 road crowd from the las place plus they had pigeons 1 to be let go every place they lef safe. Them 6 exter road crowd you myswel call them hossages the Big 2 dint realy trus no 1 too far nyther fents nor form. My dad use to tel me his dad tol him the Goodparley & Orfing they had in his day (Roadman Goodparley & Fronter Orfing it ben) they never roadit with no Ram hevvys they jus only had 6 road crowd for dog safe from the las fents like any 1 wud. That Goodparley & Orfing back then they use to say, ‘It dont make no odds what happens to us therewl all ways be a nother Goodparley & Orfing.’ These 2 tho they wernt taking no chances they wer doing ther bes to keap it the same Goodparley & Orfing.

  Being the Big 2 they only done ther 4 shows a year regler plus special Is now and then but they liket to look like ful time Eusa show men they kep ther faces shavit and all. Orfing the littl 1 he carrit the fit up and Goodparley the big 1 he carrit the weapons the same as regler Eusa show partners done even tho they cudve had the hevvys carry the fit up and the weapons and them as wel. Goodparley had a big face with littl eyes like lookouts looking over the top of a fents and he wer all ways smyling with his big sqware teef. Orfing had a face like a limpit.

  Befor we lef Widders Dump that day there come word to us as Goodparley & Orfing wud be over to How Fents after meat. To put the scar on me and they wer going to do a show as wel. Befor I get to that I bes write out the Eusa Story the same as it ben wrote out 1st and past on down to us. Its all ways wrote down in the old spel. Every body knows bits and peaces of it but the connexion men and the Eusa show men they all have the woal thing wrote down the same and they have to know all of it by hart. You wunt have seen the woal thing wrote out without you ben a Eusa show man or connexion man or in the Mincery. No 1 else is allowit to have it wrote down the same which that dont make no odds becaws no 1 else knows how to read.

  It wants to start a new peace of paper with a number to its self. So like the former said when he foun a ewe in his doss bag:

  ‘Please tern over.’

  6

  The Eusa Story

  1. Wen Mr Clevver wuz Big Man uv Inland thay had evere thing clevver. Thay had boats in the ayr & picters on the win & evere thing lyk that. Eusa wuz a noing man vere qwik he cud tern his han tu enne thing. He wuz werkin for Mr Clevver wen thayr cum enemes aul roun & maykin Warr. Eusa sed tu Mr Clevver, Now wewl nead masheans uv Warr. Wewl nead boats that go on the water & boats that go in the ayr as wel & wewl nead Berstin Fyr.

  2. Mr Clevver sed tu Eusa, Thayr ar tu menne agenst us this tym we mus du betteren that. We keap fytin aul thees Warrs wy doan we jus du 1 Big 1. Eusa sed, Wayr du I fyn that No.? Wayr du I fyn that 1 Big 1? Mr Clevver sed, Yu mus fyn the Littl Shynin Man the Addom he runs in the wud.

  3. Eusa sed, Thayr int aul that much wud roun hear its mosly iyrn its mosly stoan. Mr Clevver sed, Yu mus fyn the wud in the hart uv the stoan & yu wil fyn it by the dansing in the stoan & thay partickler traks.

  4. Eusa wuz a noing man he noet how tu bigger the smaul & he noet how tu smauler the big. He noet the doar uv the stoan & thay partickler traks. He smaulert his self down tu it he gon in tu particklers uv it. He tuk 2 grayt dogs with him thear nayms wer Folleree & Folleroo. Eusa ternt them luce he put them tu the stoan & castin for partickler traks & tu the dansing.

  5. Foun the syn uv dansing on partickler traks thay dogs & follert harkin 1 tu the uther hot & clikkin & countin thay gygers & thay menne cools uv stoan. Smauler & smauler thay groan with Eusa in tu the hart uv the stoan hart uv the dans. Evere thing blippin & bleapin & movin in the shiftin uv thay Nos. Sum tyms by tin sum tyms bit.

  6. Cum tu the wud in the hart uv the stoan. The stoan sky gone dark the stoan win gon stil. Thay dogs gon crinje then & wimpert. Eusa sed tu thay dogs, Garn the trak & fyn.

  7. Thay dogs stud up on thear hyn legs & taukin lyk men. Folleree sed, Lukin for the 1 yu wil aul ways fyn thay 2. Folleroo sed, Thay 2 is 2ce as bad as the 1. Eusa sed, I woan be tol by amminals. He beat thay dogs & on thay gon.

  8. In the dark wud Eusa seen a trak uv lyt he follert it. He cum tu the Hart uv the Wud it wuz the Stag uv the Wud it wuz the 12 Poynt Stag stud tu fays him & stampin its feat. On the stags hed stud the Littl Shynin Man the Addom in be twean thay horns with arms owt strecht & each han holdin tu a horn.

  9. Eusa sed tu the Littl Man, Yu mus be the Addom then. The Littl Man sed, I mus be wut I mus be. Eusa wuz angre then he wuz in rayj becaus he had a shutin weppn but the Littl Man wun even cover his self. He stud nekkit with his arms owt strecht be twean thay horns.

  10. Eusa tuk his weppn in his han he sed tu the stag, Wy doan yu run? Yu no wut I am goin tu du. The stag sed, Eusa yu ar talkin tu the Hart uv the Wud. Nuthing wil run frum yu enne mor but tym tu cum & yu wil run frum evere thing.

  11. Eusa shutin the Stag with his weppn & down it cum. Eusa grabbit the Littl Man by his 2 owt strecht arms & holdin him lyk twichin for water with a hayzel.

  12. Eusa sed tu the Littl Man the Addom, I nead tu no the No. uv the 1 Big 1
& yu mus tel me it. The Littl Man the Addom he sed, Yu du no it Eusa its in yu the saym as its in me. Eusa sed, I doan no it yu mus tel it tu me. The Littl Man sed, Eusa yu no wut that 1 Big 1 is its the No. uv thay Master Chaynjis I doan hav no werd tu tel it. Eusa sed, If yu woan tel in 1 may be yul tel in 2. Eusa wuz pulin on the Littl Mans owt strecht arms. The Littl Man sed, Eusa yu ar pulin me a part. Eusa sed, Tel.

  13. Eusa wuz angre he wuz in rayj & he kep pulin on the Littl Man the Addoms owt strecht arms. The Littl Man the Addom he begun tu cum a part he cryd, I wan tu go I wan tu stay. Eusa sed, Tel mor. The Addom sed, I wan tu dark I wan tu lyt I wan tu day I wan tu nyt. Eusa sed, Tel mor. The Addom sed, I wan tu woman I wan tu man. Eusa sed, Tel mor. The Addom sed, I wan tu plus I wan tu minus I wan tu big I wan tu littl I wan tu aul I wan tu nuthing.

  14. Eusa sed, Stop ryt thayr thats the No. I wan. I wan that aul or nuthing No. The Littl Man the Addom he cudn stop tho. He wuz ded. Pult in 2 lyk he wuz a chikken. Eusa screamt he felt lyk his oan bele ben pult in 2 & evere thing rushin owt uv him.

  15. Owt uv thay 2 peaces uv the Littl Shynin Man the Addom thayr cum shyningnes in wayvs in spredin circels. Wivverin & wayverin & humin with a hy soun. Lytin up the dark wud. Eusa seen the Littl 1 goin roun & roun insyd the Big 1 & the Big 1 humin roun insyd the Littl 1. He seen thay Master Chaynjis uv the 1 Big 1. Qwik then he riten down thay Nos. uv them.

  16. Thay dogs howlt & a win cum up. Thay ded leavs wirlt & rattelin lyk ded birds flyin. Thay grayt dogs stud on thear hyn legs & talkin lyk men agen. Thay sed, Eusa aul thay menne leavs as rattelt thats how menne peapl yu wil kil. Then thay dogs begun tu tel uv tym tu cum. Thay sed, The lan wil dy & thay peapl wil eat 1 a nuther. The water wil be poysen & the peapl wil drink blud.

  17. Eusa kilt boath dogs he shot them ded. The shynin & the lyt gone owt the wud gon darker nor the darkes nyt. Eusa cudn see nuthing he stumelt owt uv the wud & tu the stoan & owt agen nor never lukt behyn him.

  18. Eusa had thay Nos. uv thay Master Chaynjis. He run them thru the Power Ring he mayd the 1 Big 1. Eusa put the 1 Big 1 in barms then him & Mr Clevver droppit so much barms thay kilt as menne uv thear oan as thay kilt enemes. Thay wun the Warr but the lan wuz poyzen frum it the ayr & water as wel. Peapl din jus dy in the Warr thay kep dyin after it wuz over. Mr Clevver din cayr it wuz aul the saym tu him poyzen wuz meat & drink tu him he wuz that hard. Eusa with his wyf & 2 littl suns gon lukin for a nuther plays tu liv.

  19. Evere thing wuz blak & rottin. Ded peapl & pigs eatin them & thay pigs dyd. Dog paks after peapl & peapl after dogs tu eat them the saym. Smoak goin up frum bernin evere wayr. Eusa with his famile gon tu the cappn uv a boat & Eusa giv him munne tu tayk them a way. The cappn sed, Munne is no gud enne mor. Eusa thot he lookit lyk the Littl Shynin Man he wuzn shur tho. Thayr wer hevve men on the boat thay tuk Eusas wyf thay thru Eusa & his 2 littl boys off. Eusa stanin on the shor wachin that boat pul a way with his wyf & nuthing he cud du.

  20. Bad Tym it wuz then. Peapl din no if they wud be alyv 1 day tu the nex. Din even no if thayd be alyv 1 min tu the nex. Sum stuk tu gether sum din. Sum tyms thay dru lots. Sum got et so uthers cud liv. Cudn be shur uv nuthing din no wut wuz sayf tu eat or drink & tryin tu keap wyd uv uther forajers & dogs it wuz nuthing onle Luck if enne 1 stayd alyv.

  21. Eusa & his boys on thear oan thay wernt with enne 1 els. Eusa wun go near no uthers he wuz afeard if enne 1 myt no him. Eusa dursn sleap much thay boys wer tu littl tu stan gard long. Mosly Eusa jus closd his iys a littl at a tym newer long. He din lyk tu sleap much enne how he wuz afeard he myt pul his self in 2 lyk he dun the Littl Shynin Man. Plus menne tyms he seen 2 grayt dogs on thear trak he din wan tu get snuck by them.

  22. 1 day Eusa wuz holt up in a barmt owt plays by the rivvr. He wuz so tyrd he tol his 2 littl boys tu keap luk owt & he closd his iys. Eusa herd a sylens then lyk his ears closd up. He opend his iys he thot he wuz dreamin. He seen the Littl Shynin Man in 2 peaces. The Right syd uv him had the nek & hed the Left syd uv him had his cok & bauls. Each ½ wuzn hopin on its 1 leg it wuz waukin lyk it wuz tu gether with the uther ½. Thay 2 peaces uv the Littl Shynin Man wer waukin be twean thay 2 grayt dogs wich wer Folleree & Folleroo the saym.

  23. The taukin ½ uv the Littl Man sed tu Eusas 2 littl boys, Ar yu hungre? Thay sed, Yes. He sed, Cum with me then I wil giv yu sumthing. Off thay gon 1 with Folleree & 1 with Folleroo. 1 hedin tords the rivvr 1 a way frum it & each with ½ uv the Littl Shynin Man.

  24. Eusa sed, This is a dream. He opent up his iys but thay ben open aul redde. Eusa cudn wayk up no moren he aul redde wuz. Eusa cault thay dogs by naym he wisselt them bak but thay wun com. He cault the Littl Man but nyther ½ wud tern roun. He cault his 2 boys thay kep goin as wel thay wun luk bak.

  25. Eusa run after them as wer hedin tords the rivvr. Thay gon in tu the water & swimin acros & Eusa after them. Eusa tryd tu swim but his arms gon hevve & no strenth in his legs. He had tu tern bak then evere thing gon blak for him.

  26. Eusa wuz lyn on the groun by the rivvr. Thayr apeerd tu him then the Littl Shynin Man he wuz in 1 peace. Eusa sed, Wy arn you in 2 peaces? The Littl Man sed, Eusa I am in 2 peaces. It is onle the idear uv me that cum tu gether. Yu ar lukin at the idear uv me and I am it. Eusa sed, Wut is the idear uv yu? The Littl Man sed, It is wut it is. I aint the noing uv it Im jus onle the showing uv it.

  27. The Littl Man sed, Eusa wut is the idear uv yu? Eusa cudn say enne thing. The Littl Man sed, Yu doan hav tu say wut it is. Jus say if it is. Eusa stil cudn say enne thing.

  28. Eusa sed, Newer myn that wayr ar my 2 littl boys? The Littl Man sed, Eusa thay gon 2 diffren ways a way frum yu. Eusa sed, Yu tuk them a way. The Littl Man sed, Wel Eusa it mayks a chaynj dunnit. Eusa sed, Wut dyu mean?

  29. The Littl Man sed, Eusa yu wantit thay Master Chaynjis & this is 1 uv them. In the wud in the hart uv the stoan yu pult me in 2 yu opent me lyk a chikken. Yu let thay Nos. uv thay Master Chaynjis owt. Now yu mus go thru them aul.

  30. Eusa sed, I no I dun wut I dun & I wish I hadn but Im thru with aul that now I jus wan tu liv qwyet. The Littl Man sed, Eusa yu ain thru with aul that yur onle jus beginin. Yuv got aul thay Master Chaynjis in frun uv yu. Yuv got them aul tu go thru.

  31. Eusa sed, Is this a dream? The Littl Man sed, No. Eusa sed, Wuz the uther a dream then? Wen I had a wyf & childer? The Littl Man sed, No Eusa that wuzn no dream nor this ain no dream. Its aul 1 thing nor yu cant wayk up owt uv it. Eusa sed, I can dy owt uv it tho cant I. The Littl Man sed, Eusa yu dy owt uv this plays & yul jus fyn me in a nuther plays. Yul fyn me in the wud yul fyn me on the water lyk yu foun me in the stoan. Yu luk enne wayr & Iwl be thayr.

  32. Eusa sed, Wuz it yu the cappn uv the boat that tuk a way my wyf? The Littl Man sed, Probly it wuz. Eusa sed, Wy cant yu leav me aloan? The Littl Man sed, Eusa wear 2 ½ s uv 1 thing yu & me. I cant leav yu aloan no moren yu cud leav me aloan. I newer cum lukin for yu did I Eusa. It wuz yu cum lukin for me that tym wen yu kilt the Hart uv the Wud in the hart uv the stoan & yu foun me. Yu let thay Chaynjis owt & now yuv got to go on thru them.

  33. Eusa sed, How menne Chaynjis ar thayr? The Littl Man sed, Yu mus no aul abowt that I seen yu rite thay Nos. down in the hart uv the wud. Eusa sed, That riting is long gon & aul thay Nos. hav gon owt uv my myn I doan remember nuthing uv them. Woan yu pleas tel me how menne Chaynjis thayr ar? The Littl Man sed, As menne as reqwyrd. Eusa sed, Reqwyrd by wut? The Littl Man sed, Reqwyrd by the idear uv yu. Eusa sed, Wut is the idear uv me? The Littl Man sed, That we doan no til yuv gon thru aul yur Chaynjis.

  7

  This what Im writing down now its the nite after my dads berning. The nite I took the scar.

  It ben pissing down rain since befor we lef Widders Dump. I all ways liket the rain. Liket on the back track coming up to hy groun in the dark. Seeing our nite fires thru the rain and smelling the meat smel from the divvy roof.

  After meat I gone up on the hy walk and looking out for Goodparley & Orfing. Lissening to the rain dumming down on my hard clof hood and thinking how itwd soun on dog skin. Pe
rsoon I heard the horn blow ‘Eusa show’ then the poynt hevvys come out of the rainy dark in to the lite of the gate house torches. 1 of them lookit up at me and said, ‘Trubba not. Eusa show.’ I never knowit Goodparley & Orfing say ther oan Trubba not they all ways sent a hevvy in front of them. I said, ‘No Trubba’ then I opent and in they come hevvys 1st. Goodparley & Orfing dint come thru the gate til ther oan men wer in the gate house. They wunt walk unner a gate house other whys.

  Soons they come in the littl kids all come sploshing thru the puddls in the torch lite singing:

  No rumpa no dum

  No zantigen Eusa cum

  All of them running to touch the fit up and fealing for the figgers in it. Goodparley smyling with his big sqware teef like he lovit childer and Orfing shoving them out of the way. The hevvys gone to the divvy roof all but 2 as come to my shelter with Goodparley & Orfing for the wotcher. 1st 1 hevvy gone in then the Big 2 then the other hevvy then me.

  When Dad ben a live I all ways ben there when he done the wotcher. This time doing it my self and with the Big 2 not jus regler Eusa show men it took me strange. Dads things all roun the shelter. His weapons and his anrack hanging on ther pegs. His paper and ink and pens on the locker. His doss bag. Even his smel stil there. His smoak and his sweat but no Dad. The black and red spottit dog skin peggit on the wall with the 4 legs out stretcht and the candl flame shimmying in the wind.

  Orfing unslung the fit up and leant it agenst the wall. Goodparley put down his weapons and we all sat down. 1 hewy sqwatting by the door and the other stanning gard outside.

  Goodparley said, ‘Wotcher?’

  I said, ‘2 cuts hash and 50 rizlas each. Our meat your meat 2ce. Eat here sleap here eat for the out path and safe crowd to the nex fents.’ Not that the Big 2 ever meatit nor slep at our fents but thats what you said.

  Goodparley said, ‘Done.’

  I give the hash and the rizlas then we all roalt up and smoakit. Smelling the rain and lissening to it dumming on the thatch. Outside the littl kids wer stil zanting in the puddls they wer singing: