Semiramis Reborn

by Maya Daniels

  “I killed the wizards, didn’t I?” I mumble with closed eyes. I don’t know why I’m still having this conversation.

  “Tiamat is still out there, as are the Tablets. You need to find them.”

  “Yet here we are. You’re trying to torture the fuck out of me and even coming to my sacred place that only I know about. How is that working out for you?”

  “You need to come back and finish the trial,” she says like I haven’t spoken.

  “No.”

  “You will destroy us all with your stubbornness because you like to play the victim, feeling sorry for yourself because life has not been easy? Is that it?”

  “What the fuck do you know about the harshness of life?” I roar at her, all my peacefulness gone in a blink of an eye.

  “I know that you cannot hunt the devil wearing angel’s wings, child.”

  “You mistake me for Lucifer.”

  “It’s not easy on him either, if that’s what you think,” she says sadly.

  “What does that mean? What does he have to do with anything? He’s only hanging around to cure his boredom and keep an eye on whatever agenda he has,” I whisper, all fight gone from me. “Just like the rest of you.”

  “And what is your agenda?” Lilith asks, and when I look at her, I see only curiosity there. Like it never occurred to her that I might have my own agenda in all of this.

  “I just want to close the hole in my chest,” I say, more to myself than her.

  “What kind of a hole is that?”

  I flop on my back, spreading my arms wide, letting the thick grass cushion my body, just breathing in the clean air that smells like jasmine and roses. I feel her laying down next to me in the same way and I smile. I know she’s still playing her game but I don’t care anymore. I’ve already decided I’m not leaving this place ever again. This will be my existence for eternity.

  “I haven’t figured it out yet, if I’m honest. My sisters fill it up to a point, but it’s still there, so I’m not sure,” I tell her honestly.

  “Ah! We are talking about love,” she murmurs to herself.

  “Love? Hell, no! I’m done with that shit. It was not in the stars for me in this lifetime, as has been proven many times.” I laugh.

  “Maybe you were looking in the wrong places? Or someone is playing with the Tablets of Destiny without us knowing it.” She sounds thoughtful and I turn my head to look at her.

  “They have nothing better to do, like world domination or something, so they decide to fuck up my love life?” I burst out laughing.

  “You have no idea what you are talking about.” She sounds angrier now than when she first showed up.

  “What do you want from me? Whatever it is, you’ll have to find someone else, as I told you. I can’t do this anymore. More importantly, I don’t want to do it. I’m tired; my soul is tired, so you’re wasting your time. I’m not worthy of whatever it is that you’re offering.”

  “You think this is a game? You will die. Those you love will die if we don’t find the Tablets and stop this,” she hisses at me.

  “You’re a goddess and so is Inanna. You go fix it.”

  “It doesn’t work that way, and you know it.”

  “I said I’m done. Just leave me alone.” I close my eyes again so I can pretend she’s not there. Maybe she’ll go away.

  “Very well. Have it your way. I will get Jezzinta to finish all

  this.” She sounds excited and I bolt upright getting in her face.

  “You stay away from them!” I scream at her.

  “Or what? What are you going to do, child?” she taunts me.

  “Why don’t you ask Enlil? Oh wait, he doesn’t exist anymore! You want to join him? He was a good lay. You might like it.” I squeeze the words through clenched teeth, clenching my fists.

  I’m wondering if I can use my magick here in this place. Will I be able to even defend myself if she decides to attack? My mind is spinning, and it takes me a moment to realize she hasn’t moved or said anything but is looking at me with an excited twinkle in her midnight eyes. We are standing face to face, so close the smell of roses emanating from her skin is overpowering everything else, including the smell of jasmine emanating from me. That gives me pause. Inanna smells strongly of jasmine, and since I am her vessel, so do I. Remi told me once that Jez is Lilith’s vessel, yet she doesn’t smell like roses. What does that mean? I take a step back from her, a million things going through my head.

  “Ah! I can hear the wheels turning. You are starting to piece things together,” she nods thoughtfully.

  “Either you’re not who you say you are, or Jezzinta is not your vessel.”

  “Or all of the above is true, but you are different,” she tells me quietly, and I scrub my hands over my face.

  “Say what you need to say, and let’s stop playing these games with riddles. If you didn’t need me, you would’ve killed me by now.”

  “We need to merge so my essence is imprinted in you, just like Inanna’s,” she says simply.

  “I’m not giving you control over me. Find another way. I know you’re a goddess, but thanks to Lucifer, I have every right to not agree with what you want,” I tell her, and her eyebrows lift at that. “Free will and all that good stuff.” I wave my hand like I’m swatting a fly.

  “Fair enough. You merge with me, then.”

  “Say what, now?”

  “You have the blood of gods in you, Alexia, as well as the gifts of some. How do you think it was possible for you to merge with Inanna?” She looks me straight in the eyes and I can feel she’s telling the truth. “A goddess cannot be invited from the outside. She can only be awakened inside and you already did that. That’s why you were able to merge. Why are you afraid?” she asks softly.

  “I’m not afraid,” I say defensively, and I flinch.

  Sure as hell sounds like I am afraid. Lilith grimaces like she’s eaten something foul. I stare at her because I have no idea what to say. I wasn’t aware that I was afraid. Not for myself, anyway.

  “You have nothing to be afraid of. Stop fighting yourself and limiting your power with ideas, beliefs or others’ expectations of you. Just be, child. You were created as you should be, nothing more and nothing less. I told you that you have made enough sacrifices and it is our turn now. Let me do that for you. You accepted Inanna’s light, now accept my darkness.”

  I frown at her and she lifts a hand to stop me from opening my mouth.

  “Do not confuse darkness with evil. Those are two different things. Even light can be evil if it’s used as such. It can light the way or it can blind you. Nothing is black and white. It’s all in many shades of gray and you need to embrace it, not fear it, or be ashamed of it. It is your birthright.”

  “I’m still not giving you control of me,” I tell her stubbornly.

  “And you still think I need your permission,” she says softly, still looking at me, so I can see that she’s telling the truth.

  “Then why all this bullshit?” I throw my arms up.

  “Because I need you to understand. The right path is not the straight staircase or the nicely paved one. It’s a spiraled, thorn-covered barely-there walkway that you need to clear for yourself. You were made for this. All you have to do now is believe in yourself.”

  “Yet I still have to merge to prove I’m worthy,” I grumble.

  “No, you don’t,” she says, and the shock must be comical on my face because she laughs.

  “We are merged, Alexia. How else would I be here otherwise?”

  “What on earth?! You merged without consent?” I feel rage boil my veins.

  “No, I didn’t. You just woke my essence inside you. All I did was make you remember.”

  “This shit is crazy — even for me.” I plop back on the grass, all strength leaving me.

  “I love your loyalty and your strength, child. You are worthy of my sacrifice. Your sisters are your strength. Azalea, as you call her, gave you the light with the two light w
orkers. Lucifer is the keeper of your soul and your two mothers will feed you love. Go fulfill your destiny. Find the Tablets and save us all.” She kneels next to me and pulls me in a hug.

  “Lucifer is the keeper of my soul?”

  “Your sisters gave him the honor,” she smiles, “be gentle with him, would you? I don’t think he is familiar with the feelings awakening in him. You both have a ways to go, but things as we know them are changing. If you stay true to your heart, you will close that hole inside you and save us all in the process.” With those words, she pulls back, kisses my forehead and is gone.

  In her place, one red apple is left taunting me, so I snatch it and angrily take a big bite out of it just for good measure.

  29

  Lucifer…

  “What’s the meaning of this? What games are you playing?” I stare down the goddess in front of me.

  Inanna is looking thoughtful but resigned, and I do not like it one bit. The ruby in my hand is making my entire arm tingle like I’m holding onto lightning with sheer will alone. This whole situation is out of my control, and with every passing moment, I feel more and more like a pawn. I’ve always been the one in control. Did my curiosity lead me to my downfall? Many have tried to muddy my name and my motives throughout lifetimes, yet one slip of a girl manages to turn my existence upside down with her smile and her bravery. Or maybe stupidity would be more accurate; I am still not certain which.

  “You still don’t get it, do you?” Inanna asks me, and I arch an eyebrow. She sighs as if I am the child and if my ignorance pains her.

  “Mother, please. We must help her. Where did Lilith take her?” Remi pleads with the Goddess.

  I am not sure if I want to laugh at the absurdity of it all or destroy everything in my path. Maybe I should see how it unfolds. It’s not like there are pressing matters that need attending to. What started as fun is turning more complicated by the minute. Maybe, finally, the Fates have tangled me into something to bring my downfall.

  “She will be fine, love, don’t fret. Lilith never was one with patience. She will come back when it’s done.” Inanna sighs again and turns in a circle, looking around her as if seeing the place we are in for the first time.

  I do the same, if nothing else, to maybe see what she sees. Is it that I have missed something? It cannot be; everything feels dead in this realm, apart from those woods. Entering there was like passing a portal. A realm within a realm, in a way. Now that I think of it, the hairs on my neck stand on end. Why would the weaver of the web of life attach her realm to this one if she didn’t anticipate the witch coming here? Did the rest of the witches know this? I look at them to sense any deception or even inkling that they are aware of the turmoil that plagues me, but they seem oblivious to anything but their worry for Alexia. I take a deep breath, calming my own thoughts. Alexia. There is more to that witch than I was aware of. I was expecting that she would be fun to decipher, like a riddle. Her actions are always unpredictable, unless it comes to those she calls her own. Then one can be certain she will go head first and risk her life. And she has done it for me! I scoff at that! How ridiculous! A witch protecting me!

  “You’ll crack the ruby if you keep squeezing your fists, angel. Knock it off,” Remi snaps and brings me out of my musings.

  “Watch your tone, human,” I growl at her.

  “Pfftt. As if you scare me. You hold part of her that she will need back. Pay more attention,” she argues back angrily. The other three all hum their agreement with her words.

  “You aren’t afraid I will end your miserable existence and just do as I please with this?” I say menacingly, raising the ruby so they see me twirling it through my fingers.

  The other three flinch as if ready to throw themselves at me to take it, but not Remi. She is looking at me with calm eyes as if she knows I am bluffing. Now that is interesting.

  “She has you figured out before you even know what is going on.” Inanna laughs merrily and I frown at her.

  “And what is happening, exactly?” I ask.

  “We have all been tossed into the same pile, angel. Tiamat, so desperate for the Tablets, started events that have changed all our paths. Including yours.” She looks at me pointedly. “After she killed Alexia’s grandmother, everything else started falling apart like dominoes. No wonder Azalea,” she makes air quotes with her fingers, “got involved, too. With that stupid move, Tiamat changed the rules of the game. She brought about the death of a god, destruction of a realm, since this realm will cease to exist the moment we all leave this place, and she made sure the dark and the light feminine merge together in a vessel. On top of it all, the thread of life connected the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.” She looks pointedly at me with the last words, then at my fist holding the ruby.

  My heart beats wildly in my chest as though I were a mortal man. My body trembles as if preparing for a battle. What she says fits with the riddles the old witch was babbling on about in order to confuse me so I would help Alexia—or so I thought at the time. I am not so sure anymore. Inanna loves playing games as much as any of us immortals, but she would not play games with our existence or humanity. She is a protector of the Feminine, of that I am certain. So it is true, then! It is not a myth. Alexia is the key to remove the Time Maker from existence, and for all realms and worlds to connect in harmony.

  “Lilith is making the ultimate sacrifice?” I say slowly to Inanna, watching her eyes to see any indication that she is playing a game.

  All I see are solemn eyes that carry sadness for Lilith but hope for the rest of us. Everything in me stills as though I am suspended through time and space. Is she aware of what this means for me? I keep staring at her eyes, unblinking. And there, I can finally see it. She envies what this means for me because she cannot have the same fortune. She is still tangled in the web of Underworld and Above-world. But she knows! Oh, yes, she knows! Alexia somehow was reincarnated this lifetime as the missing part of me. She is my other half, the darkness to my light, the night to my day. When the two halves become one, time will restart for existence, and harmony and balance will be renewed. A new beginning! I’m almost shaking and she finally sees that I understand. She gives me a small smile.

  “Are you two going to stare at each other forever or will someone do something?” Jezzinta snaps, and we both look at her.

  “Tone,” I reprimand her, but I cannot be angry. I want to roar a victory cry for all worlds to hear.

  “A-Ma kinda rubs off on us,” Meda says meekly, in hopes of defending her sister, and I can’t help but smile.

  That makes me frown. Does that mean I have to be kind to the witches now? If I don’t want Alexia to fight me, I will have to try. That makes me groan and Inanna laughs.

  “I don’t envy you, angel, for this. But I do wish you luck.” She grins at me.

  “What are we talking about again?” Jezzinta asks.

  “You’ll figure it out, Jez, trust me. You’re not paying attention, or you would’ve known before he realized it.” Remi hooks a thumb in my direction. I ignore them before I make them angry by saying what my thoughts on that are.

  “How much longer?” I ask Inanna.

  “Calm yourself. She’ll be back when she’s ready. She is being reborn, after all.”

  As she answers, a bright light flashes in the middle of all of us. As it fades, it reveals Alexia curled up in a ball on the ground, naked as the day she was born. Without waiting for anyone to move, I snatch her up in my arms. The witches gather around me, checking to see if she is okay while she looks like she is sleeping on my chest. Inanna laughs again, mumbling something about leaving and how she will see us again, but the other three humans are staring at the burden in my arms with wide eyes. I growl at them to avert their eyes and that snaps them out of it.

  They find the ground and the walls very interesting. Only one of them, Remi’s lover, frowns at me and without moving his eyes from Alexia’s face, he stays close enough to make sure she is okay. As much as it
angers me, I must remember to stay calm or she will be more difficult than even I can expect. Inanna laughs harder and shakes her head, then disappears.

  “We need to get her home,” Remi says.

  “I’ll open the portal outside.” Meda starts running with Faith at her side.

  “Hang on.” Jezzinta runs somewhere behind me and a moment later she is covering Alexia with a cloak.

  “Thank you.” I do not know why I felt the need to thank her, but the words were out before I was aware of saying them.

  “She hates being naked in front of others.” Jezzinta smiles while looking at Alexia.

  “Hold on to that ruby, angel,” Remi reminds me as if I would let it out of my sight for anything.

  Everyone turns around and starts walking out of the building. I follow behind so they don’t see me looking at the woman in my arms. Being misunderstood and having a lonely existence for thousands of years was definitely worth it if this was my reward. Everyone walks through the shimmering purple portal one by one. I stop and look at the woods to see that nothing is there any more. Barren dead ground stretches in all directions. Even the orchards with silver apples are gone. Only the Fates know what waits for all of us next, but with one last look at Alexia, I’m reminded that whatever it is it will most definitely be worth it. With that thought I step through the portal.

  30

  Alexia…

  One week later……

  “I bring gifts.” Jezzinta’s chirpy voice reaches my ears and I turn to look at her.

  Smiling, she sits next to me on the steps of the porch at our house, holding two mugs in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other.

  “You hate coffee, sis,” I smile at her.

  “It’s not for me, Sap,” she says just as I hear the door open behind me again.

  Remi, Faith and Meda walk out, carrying a pot of tea, more mugs and tea cups and they all sit around me on the steps so that Remi and Jezzinta are on either side of me and Meda and Faith are right in front of my legs on the lower step. They have been doing this ever since I woke up in my bed with all of them standing around looking down at me. It scared the shit out of me, I can say that much. I’ve been trying to sneak out for some alone time just to clear my head and process everything that has happened. Just like a moment ago, I’ve been sitting here, just staring at nothing in particular while my mind tries to put everything together. Everything that happened and everything that needs to happen. I’m still not sure I was worthy of Lilith’s sacrifice. I won’t admit it to anyone, not even my sisters, so I don’t taint the good she did, but still, I don’t think I’m worthy of it.