by Jae
"The golden rule of lawyering?" Aiden scratched the back of her neck. "That's not that 'Sometimes long legs are better than long legal arguments' thing, is it?"
Kade had to smile. She had told Aiden that a few months ago. Figures she would remember it. "No. The cardinal rule is to never ask a question you don't know the answer to."
Aiden nodded. She knew that principle. It was the reason for endless hours of witness preparation. "So Del asked a question she didn't know the answer to?"
"Worse," Kade said. "We both didn't know the answer."
"So that keeps you on equal footing. What's wrong with that?" Aiden looked at her inquisitively.
Kade sighed. "I thought I knew the answer, but it turned out I had completely misjudged the situation."
"You know," Aiden said, shaking her head, "we have to stop with that 'talking in legalese codes' thing, or I'll get lost in the translation. What situation are we talking about?"
There had been a certain playfulness to their conversation, both of them trying to forget that they were talking about some very complicated and very private things. But now Kade sobered. She didn't feel like wading through the minefield that was her private life tonight. If she told Aiden she had thought Del had sent her ninety-seven bouquets of flowers and then found out she hadn't, Aiden would immediately want to know who had sent the flowers – and that was another question to which Kade didn't know the answer.
For a moment, she contemplated telling Aiden everything: the flower deliveries, the cards, and the feeling of being followed. She knew Aiden would be willing to help her. A little too willing, probably. Before I know it, I'd have a protective detail in front of my apartment and two cops following me around the courthouse. Kade shook her head. She didn't want a private problem, which wasn't even a problem yet, spread all over Portland in triplicate. She wasn't in any real danger, so it was better not to make it official.
"What's this situation?" Aiden asked again when Kade didn't answer.
"It's..." Kade hesitated and then settled for, "complicated."
Aiden shook her finger at her. "That's a cop-out. I'm dating a psychologist, remember?"
So?Kade saw no reason to bare her soul just because Aiden's girlfriend had a PhD in psychology. "She's not here now," she pointed out.
Now Aiden was the one who suddenly looked sober. "No, she isn't."
They stared at each other, both silently re-erecting the barriers of professionalism.
"So anything interesting in this witness statement?" Kade asked.
"So what's with the files?" Aiden asked at the same time. She laughed. "Let's face it, Counselor, we're both awful at girl talk."
Kade smiled at her. "No objection from the prosecution. If you want to talk about the intricacies of romantic relationships, your psychologist girlfriend might be a better choice in conversation partners."
The smile Aiden gave her in return seemed very forced, but they had just agreed to end their ineffective attempt at sharing a sensitive talk between friends, so Kade couldn't very well ask what was wrong with her tonight. She had a sneaking suspicion that Aiden had fought with Dawn, and Kade had decided early on to stay completely out of anything to do with their relationship.
Kade might not be good at interpersonal relationships, but that didn't mean that she was completely oblivious when it came to matters of the heart either. She had seen the glances Dawn had sent in her direction when she had talked to Aiden at the precinct's New Year's Eve party.
Dawn was clearly worried about Kade's role in her girlfriend's life, and Kade knew she would only make the situation worse if she got involved in any relationship problems they might have. "If you could read over the files before opening statements in the Walker trial," she said, pointing at the files she had laid down on Ray's desk. "I used sticky notes where I need you to clarify something."
Aiden willingly reached for the first file. "Consider it done."
* * *
"Ray?"
Ray took his gaze off the road for a second to glance at his partner in the passenger seat. He had been waiting for her to start talking all morning, but until now, she had only brooded on her side of the car, staring out the window with sleep-deprived eyes.
"How long have you and Susan been together?" Aiden asked.
Ray clutched the steering wheel in surprise. He hadn't expected that question. What's going on in that busy head of yours, partner?
"Almost eighteen years." He glanced at Aiden again, but she was staring straight ahead. "Why the sudden interest?" They had talked about his marriage before, but mostly when there was a problem between Susan and him, and Aiden was doing some hand-holding or, more often, hitting him over the head for being an inconsiderate jerk.
"In all those years, have you ever wanted something that Susan... didn't?" Aiden asked. Ray got the impression that she was trying very hard to keep her voice neutral and casual.
He furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? Like wanting pot roast for dinner when she wanted to have a veggie jambalaya? Sure, that happens every single day."
"No, I don't mean your different tastes in food," Aiden said, clearly becoming impatient with his lack of understanding and her own inability to explain. "I mean the big things."
Big things? Ray tried to guess what Aiden would consider a big thing in a relationship. "Like moving in together?" That would certainly be a big thing, considering she hadn't lived with anyone all the years they had been partners.
Aiden sighed. "No, nothing like that. I..." She shook her head. "Just forget I said anything, okay?"
Ray was quiet for a moment, concentrating on his driving. When Aiden turned her head to stare out the window again, he quickly stopped her retreat into herself. "You sure? I'm your partner. You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"
Aiden nodded but remained silent.
"Something is clearly bothering you," Ray broke the silence again.
"I'm fine," came the standard Aiden Carlisle response.
Ray knew she was lying. "You spent the night in the 'dungeon' even though I know you went home last night, and you've been grumpier than Okada all morning. Doesn't sound like 'fine' to me."
Aiden gave him a glare, then looked away, showing him that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Just attribute it to PMS and move on."
Ray smiled and gave her a rueful shake of his head. "Living with five females has taught me that blaming anything on PMS is the fastest way for a man to get himself killed."
That finally made her smile for a second, but the smile was just as quickly gone from her face. "Dawn and I... we had a fight last night," she admitted. "Or at least we would have if I hadn't walked out on her."
Ah. That's what I thought."About what did you almost fight?" Ray knew his partner was not normally one to start fights at the drop of a hat, and in his eyes, Dawn had to be the most patient woman in the world, so whatever they had been fighting about had to be big.
"I can't tell you that," Aiden said.
Ray looked at her out of the corner of his eye. For a fleeting second, he almost thought he saw a hint of a blush coloring her cheeks. Oooh! They're fighting about that already? No way in hell am I touching that topic with a ten-foot pole! He tried valiantly not to picture what it could be that his partner wanted and Dawn didn't. He cleared his throat. "Have you tried to talk to Dawn about it?"
Aiden gave a half nod that could equally mean "yes" or "no." "That didn't go over too well. I ended up storming out of the apartment in the middle of the night."
"Ouch. And you haven't talked to her since?" Ray asked.
Aiden shook her head, staring down at the paper cup of coffee she was cradling in her hands.
"Has she tried to call you?" Whenever he and Susan had a fight, she usually ended up calling him at work, worried that something would happen to him and not wanting the last words she spoke to him be angry accusations.
Aiden fingered the cell phone clipped to her belt. "No."
"N
o?" Ray raised an eyebrow. "I always thought she would be the one to make the first step and start talking it out."
"She usually is," Aiden said with a sigh.
Ray grinned. His partner, who chronically tried to hide from her feelings and the demons with which she lived all her life, being in a relationship with a psychologist was just one of the ironies of life. "It drives you crazy," he said, a statement, not a question.
"She's so mature and levelheaded and in connection with her own feelings – and with mine. It's infuriating." Aiden and Ray traded grins. Then Aiden's self-mocking grin turned into a more wistful smile. "And I love her for it," she added in a voice so low Ray almost missed it over the honking Portland drivers around him.
Ray glanced into the rearview mirror and pulled over. He shut off the ignition and turned to look at Aiden.
"What are you doing?" Aiden asked in exasperation.
"Me? Nothing. But you're going to call your girlfriend," Ray told her. "And I don't think you want to do it with me listening to every word."
Aiden stared at him. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a meddling son of a bitch?"
Ray grinned, unimpressed. "No, first compliment I've had all day."
Aiden put down her empty paper cup and reached out to open the car door. One foot already outside, she turned back around and gave him a genuine smile. "Thanks, partner."
She nudged the passenger side door shut with her hip.
"You're welcome," Ray said.
He watched her press the number one on the speed dial – a position that he had once held on her cell phone – and prowl up and down in front of the car while she waited for Dawn to pick up. She stopped in midstride and spoke hastily into the receiver.
She listened for a few seconds, then her shoulders slumped. She said another few words and returned the cell phone to its position on her belt. A few deep breaths and she was back in the car.
"She hung up on you?" Ray asked in disbelief.
"What? No, no. Her secretary picked up the phone. Dawn's with a patient right now," Aiden said, sounding equally disappointed and relieved.
Ray studied her. "Did you leave a message?"
"Saying what?" Aiden sounded helpless and irritated.
Ray shrugged. "That you're sorry and that you love her? Always works for me."
"Yeah, but you're not a lesbian," Aiden pointed out.
What has that to do with anything? "No, can't say that's part of my resume. But why would it prevent you from saying –"
"Because I don't think she's out to her new secretary. Outing herself in a professional context could be a very bad thing for a psychologist. Patients could request a referral to another therapist because they're uncomfortable with a lesbian therapist, or some could even try to sue her, claiming she made sexual advances during their one-on-one sessions," Aiden explained.
"So you told the secretary...?" Ray prompted.
"That a police officer would come by later to talk to Doctor Kinsley about her unpaid parking tickets," Aiden answered with a deadpan expression.
Ray laughed. "You didn't?"
"Not really." Aiden grinned. "I said I would call again later, and that it wasn't a job-related call. I don't want to scare Dawn on top of everything else."
Ray nodded and started the car.
* * *
Dawn watched her office door click shut behind her last patient. She leaned back in her chair with a groan and rubbed her eyes. Her last patient of the day had canceled, which meant she was free to go home now.
Home... Her empty apartment didn't hold much appeal. Normally, she would have called Aiden, hearing how her day was going, joking and flirting on the phone until she had all but forgotten the worries and problems she had listened to all day.
Not today. Dawn stared at the phone but didn't reach for it. She had started to dial Aiden's number half a dozen times today, but each time, she had hung up before the first ring. For once, she wasn't sure what to say.
The words Aiden had shouted before she had run out on her still rang in her ears: I didn't want to make love! I wanted to have sex! Dawn knew Aiden hadn't just said it to hurt her, but it had hurt nonetheless. It made her feel as if she couldn't give Aiden what she wanted, as if she wasn't what Aiden wanted.
"Doctor Kinsley?" Her office manager's voice from the intercom interrupted Dawn's thoughts. "Your next patient is here."
Dawn frowned. "I thought Mrs. Chancey canceled?"
"She did, but I filled her time slot with a walk-in," Mrs. Phillips informed her. "It's a woman, but... well, you'll see for yourself when you read the intake form."
Dawn suppressed a sigh. Come on, being professional for another hour won't kill you. Then you can fall apart all you want. "All right. I'll come and get her from the waiting room." She liked the more personal touch of greeting her patients as soon as they arrived, not having them directed to her office by her secretary.
She stopped by Mrs. Phillips' desk to pick up the intake form and glanced at it on her way to the waiting room. She stopped abruptly when she read the name her patient had scribbled into the top blank.
Xena of Amphipolis? She had to laugh. She was used to patients hesitating to give their real name, but no one had ever given a pseudonym like that. Well, maybe a patient with a sense of humor like that will cheer me up – provided it was a joke, and she doesn't believe she really is Xena. Well, let's see what the Warrior Princess needs my help with. Probably PTSD or aggressive behavior. She looked down at the intake form again. Relationship issues, huh? Could have told you that. All that repressed desire for the bard can't be good for the soul.
She took a moment to compose herself and school her features into a neutral expression, then stepped into the waiting room.
Xena, Warrior Princess, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a sheepish looking Detective Aiden Carlisle rose from her seat and stood silently, just staring at Dawn.
Dawn still wasn't sure what all of this meant, but at least Aiden was here, had sought her out, and that had to count for something. "You know," she said, looking Aiden up and down, "I always imagined the mighty Warrior Princess to be a little taller."
"Sorry to disappoint." Aiden smiled, but there was a regret in her eyes that had nothing to do with not being taller.
"I'm not disappointed, just surprised to see you," Dawn said. "Let's go to my office."
Aiden followed her through the reception area. Her steps were hesitant, not the usual confident stride Dawn was used to. Aiden ignored the couch and the beanbags, instead choosing to sit in the chair in front of Dawn's desk.
Their seating arrangement was a little too much like her therapy sessions with Evan Whitfield for Dawn's comfort, so she dragged her chair around the desk and sat next to Aiden. She didn't want any additional barriers between them for this conversation.
"I called and booked your next hour to make sure you had time to talk to me," Aiden broke the awkward silence.
"I'm glad you did, even if it makes me feel a little like a high-priced call girl," Dawn tried to joke.
Neither of them laughed.
Dawn winced. Genius! Considering the way you left off, making a joke about her paying you for sex is not a good conversation starter!
Both of them sat, awkwardly looking at each other, neither knowing where to start.
Finally, Dawn cleared her throat. "Well, Ms. Amphipolis, what can I do for you?" Maybe it'll be easier for her... for both of us, if we keep up that little role-play she started for a while.
Aiden smiled and took a moment to think of an answer. "Well, you see, I travel around with this beautiful and very talented little bard."
So she still thinks I'm beautiful and talented, huh? Dawn suppressed a grin. "I've heard of her. You're lovers, right?"
"Not according to the official scripts, but if you promise not to tell..." Aiden lowered her voice to an almost whisper and looked deeply into Dawn's eyes, "...she's the love of my life."
Dawn swallowed. Aiden had never told
her that before, and she hadn't expected to hear it now. "So what's the problem?" she asked after a while.
"Well, you see, last night, after fighting this week's bad guy, I had a severe case of... bloodlust, and when I found Gabrielle in my bedroll, I started to ravish her." Aiden looked down, examining her hands with fake interest.