by Jae
She heard a bottle of wine being opened, and then the microwave started to hum as Del reheated the food anyway. Over the other little noises in the kitchen, she heard Del begin to sing along with the radio still playing in the background.
Kade grinned as she recognized the song. The female singer was serenading a lawyer, telling him she was falling in love. Del didn't have the trained singing voice of a professional singer, but her low voice sent pleasant tingles through Kade nonetheless. She closed her eyes and listened as the singer professed her love for the lawyer's clever mind.
At first she thought Del was just mindlessly singing along while she worked in the kitchen, but then she noticed Del was changing the original lyrics. Girls with a clever mind? Wasn't that men?
The microwave dinged just as Del sang the last lines, telling the now suddenly female lawyer in the song to open her heart to her.
Kade's eyes shot open. Was she singing that love song to me? She stared at Del as she walked into the living room, balancing food and wine on a tray.
"Everything all right?" Del asked when she saw the stare.
It would be so easy to just let it go, to ignore it. Matheson women were masters at ignoring things they didn't want to deal with. No, she decided. No masks. Not with Del. "Um... that song you just sang..."
"Yeah?" Del tilted her head. "Not your kind of music?"
"The song is fine, but its sentiment... It's a little too much for me right now," Kade said honestly.
Del set down the tray and perched on the couch next to Kade but didn't try to touch her in any way.
Kade appreciated the space Del was giving her even if physical space was not what she was concerned about.
"It's a song, not a marriage proposal, Kade," Del said. A slow, lopsided grin danced over her face. "I know we're lesbians –"
"Speak for yourself," Kade quipped, already relaxing a little. Del always managed to reassure her with just a few words.
"Okay," Del conceded with a smile, "I'm a lesbian, and you are a woman interested in a lesbian." She waited until Kade gave a nod of agreement before she continued, "But that still doesn't mean we're going to move in together right away."
Kade felt a rare blush creep up her neck, and she cursed her fair skin. "I didn't assume that we would," she quickly said.
"You assumed that's what I want." Del looked at her with a knowing gaze. "Why else would the song scare you just because I changed one noun?"
"I'm not scared," Kade said. It was almost a reflex.
Del leaned forward and gently kissed her. "Liar," she whispered.
"I'm not scared," Kade repeated stubbornly. "I'm just not ready for love songs. I know you want what you just sang about – letting loose, opening our hearts, falling in love." Del had been so insistent, so unwavering in her "courtship" and open admiration for Kade that it was hard to believe she would suddenly be so casual about it.
"I won't deny that," Del said, openly gazing into Kade's eyes. "But I don't need to have it all at once. For now, we're dating – if you want to."
Her head, everything she had been taught to be and to want, screamed "no." She had always been in control of her life and had kept her emotions tightly under wraps. Controlling her emotions was a prerequisite for being a good lawyer – and a good Matheson. She had never let her emotions make her decisions. "What if I find out this is all too much for me?" she asked, voicing her doubts. "I don't want to end up hurting you."
"I'll be fine," Del said.
"Now who's the liar, huh?" With a faint smile, Kade brushed her lips against Del's.
Del laughed. "Okay. Maybe I won't be fine for a while. No one would be fine after getting dumped by a woman like you. But I'm willing to take that risk."
The question is: am I willing to take the risk? Kade wordlessly understood. "Just dating, huh? No commitment? No public announcements for now?"
"Yeah. Just dating. I'm fine with that – as long as it includes making out on my couch." Del waggled her eyebrows at Kade.
Over the rim of her glasses, Kade stared her down in mock disapproval.
"What?" Del played innocent. "A woman has to take what she can get. If you're not yet ready to give me your heart, I'll take your lips as a temporary substitute."
Kade laughed. Del was the only one who had that effect on her. She could make Kade laugh about her own limits and weaknesses. She could make her not take herself so seriously all the time. It was a gift, Kade realized – one she'd never had in her life. She wasn't willing to give that up.
"So?" Del prompted when Kade didn't say anything.
"It might be worth a try," Kade finally said.
Del tilted her head and grinned down at her. "What? Dating or making out?"
Kade couldn't help returning the grin. She never smiled or laughed as much as when she was with Del. "Well... both."
"Good." Del slung one arm around Kade and pulled her closer for a kiss.
Kade pressed her hands against Del's shoulders, holding her at a distance and enjoying the warm skin and the slender muscles she felt under Del's shirt.
"What?" Del lifted a questioning eyebrow. "I thought you agreed to the terms of the deal?"
"The food is getting cold again," Kade said.
Del bridged the remaining distance between them, with Kade's arms surrendering willingly. She playfully nipped on Kade's bottom lip. "I thought cold Chinese food is one of the main food groups of lawyers?"
"Good point." Kade surged forward and claimed Del's lips in a firm kiss. For once in her life, she was happy to lose an argument.
* * *
Still thinking about her evening with Del and what it meant for her future, Kade walked toward the door of her condo. She wasn't looking where she was going. Her hands and her eyes were busy searching for the keys in her purse.
She jerked to a halt when a tall figure suddenly blocked her way. In a rush of adrenaline, her fingers groped for the small semiautomatic Del had given her.
"Kade?" a familiar voice stopped her.
She looked up.
Aiden Carlisle stood in front of her, uncomfortably shuffling her feet.
"Aiden!" She let go of the gun. "What are you doing here?"
"I hope this is not a bad time? Your doorwoman let me in," Aiden said instead of giving the reason for her unexpected visit.
Kade suppressed a sigh. "No, it's all right. Is this about a case? Why didn't you try to reach me on my cell phone?"
"No. This has nothing to do with work. Well, not really. I mean... I..." Aiden shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. "I need some advice."
"From me?" Kade could hear the disbelief in her own voice. Giving advice about anything but work was not her forte.
Aiden nodded. "Can I come in? This is not something I want to discuss out here."
"Of course." Letting a guest stand in the middle of the hallway... Your mother would be appalled, Kade told herself. But then again, your mother was appalled about a lot of things lately, and this would be the least of her worries.
She led Aiden into her apartment and offered her a seat. "So, what's going on?"
Aiden took the time to look around the apartment.
"Aiden..." This visit was beginning to worry her. She knew Aiden had never visited her apartment before if she wasn't there on business.
"I need some advice," Aiden finally said.
She had already said that before. Kade gave her an impatient nod.
"I understand there are some legal documents..."
Ah. Kade relaxed a little. This was something she could deal with. She could give advice on legal documents without any problem. "Yes?" she prompted. "What kind of documents?"
"Documents to help protect our relationship... mine and Dawn's," Aiden explained. "I think it's time to make some steps of commitment."
Oh. So this wasn't really advice on legal things at all. This was about relationships. Never in a million years would Kade have believed that she would ever have this kind of conv
ersation with Aiden. She had always known that Aiden's relationships – like her own – had mostly ended before breakfast the next morning. After her rape, Dawn Kinsley certainly wasn't up to being just another notch on Aiden's bedpost. She needed love, tenderness, and trust, something that was hard for Aiden to give. Kade would have bet her entire trust fund that Aiden would shy away from a relationship with her.
Fortunately, I didn't. Mother wouldn't have liked all that Matheson money going to a blue-collar cop. "Well, you should draw up a living will and a testament and give each other health care and financial power of attorney and of course a hospital visitation authorization," Kade sought refuge in the familiar legal terms. "I can give you the name of a good lawyer who specializes in things like that."
Aiden nodded but didn't react otherwise. She seemed as tense as before.
Kade suppressed a sigh. "So... commitment... how do you feel about that?"
"Happy, confused, scared... you name it, I've probably felt it," Aiden said.
Kade could understand what she meant only too well. A few months ago, she'd had no clue about the levels, ranges, and nuances of emotion one person could make another person feel, but now... "What scares you most?" she asked.
"Hurting Dawn, getting hurt, finding out I'm not good at this commitment thing..." Aiden ruffled her hair with both hands.
"And you're only starting to worry about it now?" Kade asked, surprised that it hadn't been an issue before. She had only just agreed to date Del, and she was already worrying nonstop.
"Yeah, well, Dawn is starting to talk about moving in together and having kids – and I'm not sure I'm ready for that," Aiden admitted.
Kade still couldn't see it clearly. "But what's so different from before? Wasn't this where your relationship with Dawn was going from the start? You knew who she was and what has happened to her from the first moment. You knew she's not the one-night-stand kind. Yet you still never hesitated to get involved with her, despite all obstacles. You were committed from the start – and you're clearly good at it. I mean... look at Dawn. A blind man could see she's happy with you."
Aiden tilted her head and looked at her with a hopeful glance. It was clear that she had never thought about it this way. Suddenly, she chuckled. "Getting advice on lesbian relationships from Kadence Matheson. Who would have ever thought we'd end up here, huh?"
"Certainly not I," Kade said, not laughing.
"What is it, Counselor?" Aiden asked with a teasing smile. "Afraid of commitment?"
Kade was afraid of so many things, but she had never voiced her fears to anyone in her life. It just wasn't done in the Matheson family. "Last year... before Dawn and Del came into our lives... did you ever think that maybe I was a lesbian or bisexual?"
"You mean besides wishful thinking?"
Kade gave a mild smile. She had been taught at a very early age to pay attention to how other people were looking at her, so she had always been aware of the admiring glances Aiden had thrown at her. They hadn't bothered her because she had somehow sensed Aiden would never act on that attraction. It was safe to wallow in that kind of admiration. "Besides that, yes."
"I never thought you were a lesbian," Aiden said, "but I always had the impression if the right woman came along..."
"Did anyone else think so too?" Kade asked.
Aiden stared at her. "I don't know. I didn't exactly start a survey about people's thoughts on your sexual orientation, Kade. Why is it so important what people thought?"
Yes, why? Kade suddenly asked herself. "Maybe it's not," she admitted.
Aiden reached across the coffee table and lightly touched Kade's hand. "Just be yourself – whatever and whoever that is. The rest will sort itself out."
Kade looked down at the fingers touching her own. For a moment, she curled her fingers and gave a short squeeze, then she let go and straightened. "And here I thought you came to get my advice."
"Well, this friendship thing works both ways," Aiden said with a smile.
Kade returned the smile. "Yes, it does."
Aiden stood. "I better go. It's late."
"Wait. I'll get you the card of the lawyer I mentioned."
"It can wait until tomorrow," Aiden protested. "You don't have to search for it now."
"I don't need to search. I know exactly where it is." Kade walked over to her desk and after just a few seconds, she handed Aiden the business card.
Aiden whistled. "Wow. You kept that handy, huh? Any plans of commitment you want to tell me about?"
"Out!" Kade ordered, pointing to the door.
With a laugh, Aiden pocketed the card and crossed the room. "Goodnight, Kade."
CHAPTER 35
RAY YAWNED. "I need coffee," he said in the same desperate tone of voice a man dying of thirst would have used to call for water.
"I need a new pair of eyes," Aiden said. She leaned back in her chair but kept her eyes on the TV screen. A black-and-white recording of the courthouse's entrance hall flickered over the screen.
They watched people pass through the metal detectors and cross the marbled hall to reach one of the courtrooms. They had already fast-forwarded through most of the security tapes that had been recorded on the days Kade had been in court back in October.
Investigating former suspects had led them nowhere, so they were now trying to find out if anyone had sat in the gallery during Kade's cases on a regular basis, showing an unusual interest in Kade.
"Stop!" Aiden shot up from her chair. "Go back a little. Yes... there!" She pointed at the frozen picture.
Ray squinted. "Isn't that...?"
Aiden nodded. "That's the doorwoman of Kade's apartment building."
Ray pressed "play" again, and they watched as the doorwoman confidently strode past one of the security guards and disappeared around the corner, walking in the direction of the courtroom in which Kade's case had been tried. "It could be a simple coincidence," Ray said hesitantly.
"Yeah, it could be." But Aiden couldn't just write it off as coincidence. Like most cops, she had developed a sixth sense for these things over the years, and it was working overtime now. She had learned the hard way that it wasn't smart to ignore that instinct. She rummaged in the box full of security tapes and came up with another tape, which she quickly put into the VCR.
Ray fast-forwarded, and again, there was the doorwoman, passing through the metal detectors to get into the courthouse.
Aiden picked a third tape from the box. It was the tape from the morning of the closing statements in the Ballard case.
"There's Kade," Ray said as they watched Kade stride confidently past the metal detectors. "And there's the doorwoman. She's following Kade!"
Aiden sucked in a breath as she compared the dates of the tapes. "She watched Dawn's trial."
They looked at each other with growing alarm. "Well, if she's the stalker, it would certainly explain how the flower deliveries and the letters got to Kade's apartment door without anyone seeing anything. And it would explain how the stalker knew Kade's unlisted phone number and was always aware of when she was home," Ray said.
"Yeah. And why we had no luck investigating suspects from Kade's old cases," Aiden growled. "She gave us a bogus description. She completely fooled us!" She snatched the phone from its cradle and punched in a few numbers.
"What are you doing?" Ray asked.
Aiden pressed the receiver to her ear. "Calling her employer. I want to find out her name."
When she put the phone down a few minutes later, she looked up and grimaced. "Tracey Sheldon," she said to Ray, who was waiting for the name with his fingers hovering over the keyboard of his computer. "Guess when she applied for the job as a doorwoman?"
Ray was busy hacking away at the keyboard, so she answered her own question, "Last October. Kade winning the Ballard case must have created an instant admirer. She got that job to be closer to Kade."
"This is not good," Ray mumbled, staring down at his screen. "There's a restraining order out against Trace
y Sheldon, filed by a Melanie Riggs. Seems Kade wasn't the only recipient of her unwanted affections."
"Shit." Aiden's head jerked around at hearing the name. "Melanie Riggs? Are you sure?"
Ray looked at his screen again. "Yes. I know that name from somewhere, don't I?" He slapped his palm against his forehead when he remembered. "She was one of the victims in the Ballard case. Do you think Gary Ballard has anything to do with –?"