Outlaw MC: The Complete Boxset

by Ethan Egorov

  Logan starts to frown and then I get worried.

  “Say something, Logan…” I whisper.

  “Um,” he clears his throat. “I don’t understand, you told me you were on the pill.” He says and it sounds accusatory. I shift off his lap and stand instead.

  “I am. You say that like I lied to you. I just forgot one day—it was that morning after you helped me move in the first time I… that we.” I pause. “Logan, don’t be mad at me.” I whisper, adding with hope for the best.

  He shakes his head at me, scratching his jaw as he stands. He towers over me and stares down into my eyes.

  “What am I supposed to think? You’re not—this isn’t the life you envisioned for yourself. I’m not the kind of guy you thought you should be with. Now you’re telling me you’re pregnant? What am I supposed to say? You tell me you love me, and we spend all this time together… I have to be able to trust you.” He walks away from me and I can tell he needs the space. We don’t really argue, not over anything serious. But this is real, and I don’t want to crowd him.

  At the same time, that isn’t how it is at all. Maybe I didn’t plan for this, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

  “Don’t blame me for this, Logan, it is all still new to me. The falling in love and the sex and—I never had to remember to take it before. As soon as I suspected, I took a test, but we can go see a doctor if you want. I took ten of them.” I say. He finally turns from me and stops running his fingers through his hair. He sees me crying and his face suddenly falls.

  “I’m sorry, princess, I—I guess I’m not good with the trust thing yet.”

  I walk up to him and hold his hands. “I would never try and trap you, Logan. I would never try and use you. I love you. And I didn’t mean to—it was a mistake and if you don’t want this then I understand. A baby is definitely not what you signed up for.” I tell him, and I mean every word.

  “Sit down, Chantal,” he leads me to the couch and crouches in front of me.

  “I’m not fragile, Logan, just knocked up.” I half laugh. There is lightness in my breathing now that he isn’t almost raving mad. I think men are just bad at hearing sudden news, I’m learning fast.

  “Yeah, I know. And I meant it when I said I loved you. That means I am all in.” He holds my thighs in his hands, and it gets me stirring for some reason, but the last of my tears are a distraction.

  “Really?” I ask him. He grins.

  “Yeah, princess. Really. I know it wasn’t the plan, but things never go according to plan. We didn’t. I want this, you, all of it. I swear.” He kisses me and I feel us coming together in an entirely new way. His lips are warm and soft against mine, so right. I taste him on my tongue as they swirl together, and he deepens the kiss. I link my arms around his neck and bring him closer to me.

  When it breaks, I pant heavily and so does he.

  “I love you, Logan.” I laugh with all the joy in me, he smiles at me, a look in his eye like he has never seen me before.

  “I love you too, Chantal, so fucking much.” He kisses me once again.

  “We’ll go to the doctor tomorrow, together. Okay?”

  “Yeah, that’s perfect.” I exhale. I’m probably too young to be having a baby but at least I won’t be alone and trying to figure it out on my own. But I know that even if he wasn’t in for it, worst case, I would still want this baby, my priorities have changed.

  “Good. And—“ he half smiles and gives me a long look, sitting next to me on the couch.

  “I was riding into the compound, from out of town. It had rained the night before and left a mud slide. I wiped out on my bike and a bunch of guys saw—Tank, Darius, Rafe. I went flying, well, spinning. And so—“

  “They call you Spin.” I giggle, then full on laugh. He looks mortified and I just find it funny, more and more as I imagine it.

  “Okay, that’s enough,” he tries to stop me from laughing and I just laugh even more.

  “Oh Logan, I was not expecting that.” I wipe at my eyes from crying at the laughter and not all of everything else.

  “Whatever. Well, that’s the truth. Just promise me this.”

  I think he is about to tell me not to tell anyone, but I don’t think anyone knows. He cradles my face and half smiles, all the happiness between us is so heavy I feel it and know it will follow me for ever.

  “Promise me we never tell our kid that story.”

  13

  Logan

  “I’m pregnant.” She blurts out.

  And when I said I thought she was about to deliver me the worst news that’s the last thing I imagined she would say. I thought maybe she would ask me for money, and that wouldn’t have been a bad thing because it would honestly have been easier than…this. I freeze and try to find out how to breathe normally again, and I fall short every time. My body clams up and becomes so numb, I barely register her sitting on my lap. My eyes dart across her; the way her soft face is contorted, in pain, how radiant she looks. I honestly thought I was just falling more in love with her everyday but that apparently is not the case.

  Pregnant. Like with a baby. It doesn’t make sense. She told me she was on the pill and I believed her, otherwise, I would have wrapped that shit up so tight every time there wouldn’t be any question. The parts of me that have been hurt before make me think that she lied. I force myself to look in her eyes and remind myself that she isn’t like that—that she loves me, this is real. But I felt that way last time too…

  “Say something, Logan…” her whisper soft voice cuts my reverie and it reminds me how innocent she really can be. I don’t think she is enough of a manipulator to do this to me on purpose, but my paranoia keeps rearing its head.

  “Um,” my voice cracks and I clear my throat, forcing myself to say one of my roaming thoughts out loud. “I don’t understand, you told me you were on the pill.” It is the first one that lands long enough for me to make light of. And the most pressing concern. Her reaction is immediate, her face falls and she climbs off my lap to stand in front of me.

  I wish it didn’t have to be this way. Maybe it would be different if we were more official, or hell, if we were married and planned for this. But if in anywhere in my plans I knew she would get pregnant, I would have tried to prepare for it.

  “I am. You say that like I lied to you. I just forgot one day—it was that morning after you helped me move in the first time I… that we.” She trails off and I know she is talking about the first time we had sex. I forgot about a lot of things that night, and before we went to sleep. It was only when we woke up the next morning that I realized I had forgotten a condom the last time, but she told me she was on the pill then.

  “Logan, don’t be mad at me.” Chantal whispers, her voice shaking with her shoulders. I look up at her and I can’t find it in me to scream and be pissed like I want to.

  I mean it’s a baby, a real human being that’s gonna show up one day and change my entire life. Perhaps it already has. And I just have to be prepared for it with no questions asked—no, I have multiple questions. I do love Chantal; I am so in love with her that it hurts. That first day at the bank, seeing her in the summer sunshine looking like happiness herself… I knew even then. I try to remember that but fuck, this doesn’t make any sense at all. I stand and pace the other end of the room, scratching at my hair like it has the answers.

  “What am I supposed to think? You’re not—this isn’t the life you envisioned for yourself. I’m not the kind of guy you thought you should be with. Now you’re telling me you’re pregnant? What am I supposed to say? You tell me you love me, and we spend all this time together… I have to be able to trust you.” I am across the room from her and I can breathe easier without her sweet scent distracting me, making me forget I have real concerns.

  I don’t even know if she wants to do this with me, keep the baby I mean. I assume she does since she told me and hasn’t said anything of the like yet.

  “Don’t blame me for this Logan, it is all
still new to me. The falling in love and the sex and—I never had to remember to take it before. As soon as I suspected, I took a test, but we can go see a doctor if you want. I took ten of them.” She sounds so lost and worried that it tugs at my heart. She already has the biggest grip on it.

  I take a deep breath and turn to her, when I see the tears streaking down her face and through her makeup, her blue eyes watery and wide, I forgot what I was even upset for. She loves me, I know she would never hurt me. And this isn’t the best way to go about it, but this is what life has given me—given us.

  “I’m sorry, princess, I—I guess I’m not good with the trust thing yet.” A huge breath leaves me and takes most of my worries with it. Some of the tension in her body flys away and then she walks toward me, coming up to take my hands in hers.

  “I would never try and trap you, Logan. I would never try and use you. I love you. And I didn’t mean to—it was a mistake and if you don’t want this then I understand. A baby is definitely not what you signed up for.” She says. I stare down at her and try to find the right words to say, nothing makes sense. Except to remind her how much she means to me.

  “Sit down, Chantal,” I take one of her hands in mine and lead her back to the love seat.

  “I’m not fragile, Logan, just knocked up.” Her laugh is soft, and I know she is relieved that I’m not being a prick anymore. I’m not good with surprises honestly, I’m a man that way, but with her, maybe I should learn to be because she does that often.

  “Yeah, I know. And I meant it when I said I loved you. That means I am all in.” I grip my hands over the side of her thighs closer to her knees and squeeze.

  “Really?” She asks me with shock, and I hate that she even has to second guess that now. I want to be with her for the rest of my life, it’s that simple. If I had a ring, I would propose to her right now, but I know I don’t want her to think it is just because of the baby.

  “Yeah, princess. Really. I know it wasn’t the plan, but things never go according to plan. We didn’t. I want this, you, all of it. I swear.” I kiss her hard and let it linger.

  I have to catch my breath when we break apart.

  “I love you, Logan.” She laughs with joy and I just look at her in awe. She is so damned perfect, beautiful. I can’t wait to see what she will be like with a full pregnant belly, how good she will be with our kid. It doesn’t even matter that she is young. She has done more growing up in all this time than I have ever seen from anyone.

  “I love you too, Chantal, so fucking much.” I kiss her again.

  “We’ll go to the doctor tomorrow, together. Okay?” I say when we break apart. I don’t want to miss anything with her. With our kid.

  “Yeah, that’s perfect.” She breathes with relief.

  And I think back to the very beginning of this conversation when things were simple. Now I know what she meant.

  “Good. And—“ I smile at her and take a long second to think. It’s not like she will judge me for it, she isn’t much better at it than me and she only did it once or twice. But it is still the worst memory of my life that follows me to this day and will as long as the guys in the club are assholes about it. They’re my family, but still.

  “I was riding into the compound, from out of town. It had rained the night before and left a mud slide. I wiped out on my bike and a bunch of guys saw—Tank, Darius, Rafe. I went flying, well, spinning. And so—” I wince at the memory of it an all she does is give me a blank stare.

  “They call you Spin.” Her giggles are shot before they turn to full on laughs, the loudest I think I have ever heard her, and I thought I was funny on my own.

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I grab her arms and try not to laugh with her. It is still a little funny to me but only when I am laughing at myself. I still have a scar, she asked me about it, and I said I hadn’t even known. The tattoo on my left arm covers the other scar I got from sliding across the asphalt and literally spinning.

  “Oh Logan, I was not expecting that.” She wipes at her eyes from the happy tears from laughing so much.

  “Whatever. Well, that’s the truth. Just promise me this.” I change the subject.

  While I love the joy she seems to be having, I still want to make sure that she knows I am in this for good. I won’t run out on her; I won’t push her away like her dad did. And I will never cheat on her, not in a million years and even after that. It is only her, and our inside jokes and perfect unexpected love.

  “Promise me we never tell our kid that story.”

  I lounge on the couch for a while with Chantal before I tell her I need to leave and tell the guys at the club. I’m sure other people don’t tell everyone until a certain point but they’re like family to me, and I need to do some independent thinking anyway. But knowing I’m going to come back home to her in my bed makes leaving and coming back that much more exciting.

  Anyway, I head to the club and walk in to the usual sight. It’s half full, for a Wednesday, and I find my buddies in the back near the pool table.

  “I thought you weren’t coming tonight, Spin.” Rafe stands, I shake his hand and we half hug, I laugh once and then sit next to him. The small table boasts him and his girlfriend Paige, Spencer is at the bar and Jeannine is probably spending time with her dad I suspect. Darius is at the other end, with half a beer glass full and Kit is chatting up a chick at the pool table, his usual type brunette and shapely.

  “Me either, I have news.” I wait until one of the prospects hands me a fresh beer, it’s a respect thing plus they have to earn their keep. I sip the amber liquid and then shed my jacket with a half smile.

  “You and Chantal okay?” Darius asks, finally entering the conversation. He leans over the table, his rugged look even more so since he has been in and out lately. Him and Rafe have been settling stuff with the Devil’s Princes that requires him to travel back and forth a lot, he even has a place down there in the nearby town.

  “Yeah, we’re great. She dropped the ‘l’ word today.” I grin, all the memories are muddled together to make up one of the best days of my life so far, I suspect the next may be when she gives brith or we get married. I grin again because I know for sure that’s happening, I want to marry that girl. I want her to be mine forever.

  “No shit? I hope you said it back.” Rafe laughs. He has recently gone through the ups and downs of a new relationship, but he seems to be doing pretty good at it.

  “Of course, I did. She also dropped the ‘p’ word.” I add.

  “Pussy?” Darius laughs, I frown at him and shake my head.

  “No, she’s sort of pregnant.” I say it out loud and need alcohol to relax myself, so I drink more beer. And they go through the same method of reactions I did before I processed it fully.

  “Sort of?” Rafe asks.

  “Well, not sort of. She is. And at first, I was super confused, she’s on the pill you know, otherwise I would have wrapped it up. And I thought she planned this, which makes me sound fucked up but after Chelsea I’m not surprised by that line of questioning. But Chantal isn’t like that, I forgot she’s younger sometimes, inexperienced.” I sigh and drink more beer. Darius gives me the same look from before when he swiftly reminded me, they were a bit similar, but Chantal has always been better. She’s kind, and compassionate, and even if she had all her money again, she would use it to help other people first. It was never about status for her.

  “Yeah, they tend to be that way. So, she forgot or something?” Rafe asks.

  “Yeah, pretty much. I guess she’s about a month along now, I don’t know. But we’re going to the doctor tomorrow.” I tell them. And I am kind of excited about it.

  “Oh sweet. Well congratulations man, this is awesome.” Darius claps my shoulder; he calls Kit over and fills him in with the news.

  “I hope you plan on marrying her. For the baby and the fat inheritance I’m sure she had—“ Kit says, and Rafe punches his arm and he winces. “Ouch, what?” He shrugs his shoulders, “It’s true
.”

  I shake my head at him and laugh.

  “Yeah, I do plan on marrying her. But not for her money. Oh shit, I gotta tell my parents.” I scratch at my head and wonder how that conversation will go. But my mom is like the typical type, she worries if I will settle down and asks me every chance she gets. She worried about me a lot after what happened with my ex, at first I didn’t even tell her the whole story but she got it out of me one day. Like me, she worried if I would ever trust again. Love again. I’m glad that I can.

  “Yeah, you do. At least they aren’t around to crowd you.” Kit laughs. His mom lives nearby and more often than not, she brings baked goods by and leaves lipstick kisses on his cheek, it’s funny.

  “No, but they might not approve of me knocking a young girl up,” I rub at my eyes, “Fuck. We used to go to church you know. Anyway, I’d have to move out of their place too.” I think aloud. I could stay there, and it could be a cool, two generation home but I’m sure they don’t want to be living out of an apartment the rest of their lives, unless they plan to travel longer. But my mom will jump at the opportunity to spoil grandkids, I doubt she would leave.

  “You’re a grown man, not much they can do. But this is good, you and Chantal are really good together. We’re happy for you. Maybe we should throw another party, any reason to get drunk.” Kit laughs. He’s the most… laid back out of all of us. There is nothing he can’t find the bright side of, and he is rarely ever serious. Sometimes inappropriately so.

  “I’ll take that into consideration. But now I’m thinking she should move in with me, I know she likes her place but still.” I say. I drink the rest of my beer too.

  “Yeah but she should still have a place where she can have time to herself, women are weird like that. She just got it too, and especially since she’s pregnant, mood swings are a bitch.” Darius says.