Riverflow
Page 28
‘Not really. I was just looking out at Bridge Farm. Thinking about what happened.’
‘Were you?’ He moved to perch on the sofa, head cocked insolently up at her. ‘From here?’
‘No. No, of course not. A few minutes ago, I mean. Go on, tell me all about it.’
He got up and wandered over to the window as if sight of the house would help the story. He turned suddenly.
‘You looked guilty as hell when I came in.’
Her eyes flicked down to the side before meeting his. ‘I wasn’t sure… Liam said come up, but I didn’t know if you’d mind me being here.’
‘Mind?’ He glanced down to where she’d just looked. ‘Why should I mind?’
He stepped towards her and gripped her arms tightly.
‘You’re hurting me, Silvan.’
‘What were you doing?’
He gave her a brief shake to emphasise his words. She jolted against the sofa and the book fell to the floor. They both stared at it.
‘Did you read it?’
‘I… No.’ Her voice caught in her throat.
Holding her wrist vice-like with one hand, Silvan leaned forward and picked up the diary with the other. ‘Don’t lie to me, Tamsin. You know what this is, don’t you?’
She swallowed, shaking her head without speaking. He put the book down on the sofa and grabbed her other arm.
‘So why try and hide it?’ he demanded, shaking her again.
‘Stop it!’ He continued to glare at her. ‘Please, Silvan, let me go. I…I don’t know anything about it.’ She struggled but knew she was no match for him physically. She searched his face, trying to find the warmth in his dark eyes that had first captivated her. ‘Honest, I was…I was just being nosy. What’s the big deal, anyway?’
She moved to touch his face, distract him. He turned away. ‘Don’t try it on. You saw it, didn’t you?’
‘So it’s a diary. Looks like it could be Joe Sherwell’s.’
‘Full of lies!’
His intensity scared her.
‘So what?’ she said quickly. ‘I never even knew him. Did you? How come you’ve got it? Why—’ She was dying to know why Silvan had made those notes in it, but the look on his face silenced her.
‘Me?’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘You’ve been away, Tammy, you don’t know how bad things have got.’ He sighed and the tension ebbed a little. ‘Sorry, I over-reacted a bit. Bede’s flipped. He…he was burning some old stuff so I took the liberty of rescuing this plus a few other bits. He’s a mate, you know, despite everything, and I thought he might regret it later.’
‘Does he know you took it?’
He gave her a hard stare. ‘Got bigger things on his mind now, hasn’t he? Seems like it’s not the only burning he’s been up to.’
‘You don’t know that was him.’
He laughed harshly. ‘Trust you to take his side. There’s enough evidence. They’re questioning him now, so I believe.’
She looked away from the cold gleam in his eyes. ‘What’s the diary got to do with it?’
‘Nothing. Except maybe he was going to burn that, too.’
He laughed. She forced a smile as he drew her towards him. She wanted him to be telling the truth. For it to be all right. She pretended it was as he released her arms and ran his hands through her hair. She drew away, reached down and quickly picked up the notebook.
‘I think we ought to, like, give this to Elin to look after.’
‘Don’t be stupid. Give it back, Tamsin.’
She had no idea what it was about, but he was scaring her. She clutched it tighter.
‘Look, I’ve got to go. See you.’
He lunged at her; she dodged and ran for the door. She tripped halfway down the stairs. The floor came up to meet her in a hollow swoop before she managed to grab the banister. She hung for a moment, steadying herself, as footsteps thumped down behind her.
‘Tammy! Wait! It’s not what you think. Come back and let me tell you about it.’
Doubting he was going to tell her anything she wouldn’t rather hear from Elin, she fumbled with the Yale lock, wrenched the door open, tumbled out and slammed it closed behind her.
She dashed from the house, heading for the high street. A strap on her sandal had broken when she fell; she stumbled slightly as she ran, but reached the junction. Across the road, the door of the pub beckoned. Two cars passed, the time they took magnified by the sound of Silvan’s feet getting horribly close. She finally made an impatient dash towards the entrance of the pub car park. Brakes screeched and a horn sounded. She hadn’t seen the car pulling in. Her sandal gave way again; she fell and the book flew from her hand. Silvan dashed past her and picked it up.
‘Give me that!’ she yelled.
Scrambling to her feet, she saw Brian getting out of his car, obviously shaken. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘It’s OK, mate,’ Silvan said calmly. ‘I’m trying to explain to her. I’d written something in my notebook here that I shouldn’t have. I’ve apologised but she just won’t have it. Come on now, Tammy, you’re showing us both up.’
She shook her head. Tears of shock and frustration soaked her face. ‘Give me that book!’
‘It’s not important. See? This is how unimportant it is.’
He strode across the beer garden where the river was lapping dangerously close. Brian looked at Tamsin in confusion. Silvan reached the fence and hurled the diary into the churning grey water.
In memory
A huge globule of rain exploded onto the windscreen. Another followed, then a spatter of them. Elin thought she saw a flicker as she turned the wipers on.
‘Was that lightning?’ she asked.
‘Didn’t notice. Probably.’
She was concentrating on the road ahead, but could sense Bede’s unmoving presence beside her. He was hunched in his seat, staring out of the side window. He’d hardly said a word.
‘I’ve been thinking about Halbury show. It’s in a couple of weeks’ time. You remember that really sunny one, three years ago?’
‘Stop it.’
‘What?’
‘Chatting away. Trying to make me feel better. It won’t work.’
‘There are two of us in this car. Guess what, Bede, maybe it makes me feel better. You know why I was thinking of Halbury show?’
‘No idea.’
‘I was wondering why you’d got that thumb-stick out.’
She was surprised at the effect her words had. He sat up and turned to her.
‘Shit, Elin. I’d forgotten all about it. You’re a star – that could make all the difference.’ Before she could reply, he’d slumped back. ‘Oh, forget it.’
‘Bede, please. What?’
‘No one’s any more likely to believe I used that on the night of the fire than that someone broke into our house and stole a set of shoes and clothes along with the spare Bridge Farm key. Moved my glasses around, messed with my phone.’
‘You used that stick? But the crutch marks are one of the things they’ve got against you.’
‘A post-concussion hallucination, probably. Like the shadow on the yard I saw as I got home from my walk.’ The beat of the wipers punctuated the pause. ‘What does it matter anyway? No one’s ever going to believe me.’
‘They’ve got to.’ Exasperation flooded her voice.
‘Why? Even I can see which is the most convincing explanation.’
He continued staring out of the window.
‘There,’ he said suddenly. ‘That was lightning. Happy now?’
Driving down Foxover High Street, Elin saw signs of activity as people again prepared the flood defences. It was frustrating to be unable to stop and help because of the bail conditions. She said nothing; Bede didn’t need reminding. As they passed the entrance to Bridge Farm, he shifted his leg with the parasitic tagging device clinging to the ankle, sucking away at his freedom, and shrank down into his seat. It was a relief when they pulled into the Alderleat yard.
‘I think the leat could overflow this time.’ He turned away and yelled out into the sodden air, ‘You were right, Joe, just a year and a half too early!’
Without looking at her, he limped indoors. She noticed he’d left the crutches in the car. Once inside, he flopped onto the sofa.
‘Come on, we should start moving stuff upstairs to safety.’ Elin grabbed an armful of books and photo albums from the shelves. He sat motionless, head thrown back, eyes shut.
‘Stir yourself,’ she insisted. ‘If you think it’s going to flood we need to shift as much as we can.’
‘Perhaps it won’t.’ He opened his eyes and looked at her.
‘Oh, do what you like. I am.’
He eventually joined her, unplugging and moving electrical equipment, passing things to her, insisting it was only to keep her happy. She came downstairs after taking the rolled-up rug to safety and saw him go through to the kitchen. Elin sighed, thinking of everything in the base cupboards that would need stacking on higher surfaces.
Before she could follow him, Bede returned and sat down. ‘Take a good look.’ He waved a hand around the bare room, then held up the kitchen scissors in the other. ‘Time for a change.’ He grasped a thick lock of still-damp hair and hacked it off.
She moved towards him. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Got to go.’
He snipped off another chunk, rubbed it dry between his fingers and let it fall to the quarry-tiled floor. She grabbed the scissors.
‘Careful,’ he said, beckoning for her to give them back. She refused. ‘Have it your own way. I’ll finish later.’
He leaned forward, swept up the blond strands and held them out to her. ‘Sorry, should have thought. Take it upstairs, find a box. In memory of the man who was.’
She folded her arms in exasperation.
‘No? Throw it to the river or bury it here, in Alderleat soil.’ He opened his fingers, watched the hair drift to the floor like spider’s silk. ‘Alderleat soil. I like that.’
‘What the hell’s this about?’
He stood to face her, put a hand to his head and held out another fistful of hair. ‘When I was a kid, Joe asked me why didn’t I get it cut for a quiet life. Now, all these years later, I can see he had a point. If I want an ounce of respect round here.’ He spat the word. ‘I’m sick of life being all about battles.’
‘And this?’ He flinched and Elin realised how vehemently she jabbed her finger at his chest. ‘Do you intend to flay yourself?’
He reached up a hand and rubbed his neck as though the tendrils at his collar were real. ‘I don’t know how you can say that.’
‘And I don’t know how you can think about appearances at a time like this.’
He laughed incredulously. ‘Appearances are everything!’ He gestured at his tagged ankle. ‘People are so ready to judge! Our whole world’s threatened by Northcote and his fracking consortium, yet simply by standing up to it we lay ourselves open to violence from one side and malicious suspicion from the other.’
‘Bede, you can’t—’
‘I don’t know what’s going on round here, but whatever it is, the blame keeps landing at my feet.’ He twisted a lock of hair round his finger and held it up to her, miming scissors with his free hand. ‘The kind of guy who’d burn an old lady in her home. Drown his own dog. Assault the young girl next door.’
‘What?’
‘Hasn’t been thrown at me yet, but I dare say it’s on its way.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake. Enough!’
‘Don’t you think I’ve had enough? Enough of threats and protesting against threats and suspicion and keeping up and trying to find new ways that it turns out aren’t really any different, and…and not being able to see through it all and find the right way because everyone’s against me and it’s just one big fucking fight!’
His shoulders heaved as if every word had been a physical effort. She felt stung, as though he was including her in ‘everyone’.
‘I’m standing by you, aren’t I?’
‘And I appreciate that.’
‘Try sounding as if you mean it,’ she muttered as she turned towards the kitchen. With a clatter, she shoved the scissors to the back of the cutlery drawer. She took a deep breath and looked through to the living room. He was motionless on the sofa, head bowed. ‘Bede. I’m sick of arguing.’
‘So am I.’
The bitterness and accusation in his voice – as if she were the one picking a fight – tipped her over the edge. She got her coat from the hook.
‘I’m going out before the bridge gets cut off. The river’s rising and they need help in the village.’ She held up a hand to silence his protest. ‘Sorry if that’s rubbing it in. I won’t be long. You finish off in here. See if you can shed some of the self-pity by the time I get back, hey?’
She left before he could talk her out of it.
On her way to the village, his last words to her, Be careful, El, echoed in her mind, triggering a twinge of guilt. In the gathering dusk, she could see the gleam of the water laid out shroud-like over the fields, the flickering of the river beyond. He had a point. Maybe she was wrong to be doing this. But she needed to get away, she wouldn’t be long and he might be in a better mood by the time she got back.
They were finishing off at the shop and she helped them erect the flood barriers across the entrance, then went to see what she could do for Brian and Angie in the pub. The forest of chairs stacked on tables was much the same as it had been before the floods eighteen months ago, except the lights were still on. She found them upstairs having a cup of tea with Tamsin, who was waiting for Kate.
‘I tried to call you,’ she said. ‘See if you could pick me up on your way home.’
Elin looked at her phone. ‘Sorry. I put it on silent at the police station.’
They asked after Bede. She simply said he was home and she ought to be getting back to him before long. She realised how much she wanted to.
‘We’ve missed Eco,’ Brian said. ‘I hope we’ll be seeing him back in the Horseshoes again soon.’ Whether it was belief in his innocence or forgiveness, Elin felt a flush of warmth and wished Bede could have heard him. ‘Anyway, we’ve had a bit of excitement of our own,’ Brian continued.
‘Sorry I couldn’t be here. Anything I can do now?’
‘You’re fine, thanks. I don’t mean the flooding – we’ve got everything more or less under control. But Tamsin’s got something to tell you.’
He turned to the girl. She stared at her hands.
‘It might be important, dunno.’
Elin sat down. ‘What is it?’
‘Silvan had Joe’s diary, see. It just wasn’t right; I knew the moment I saw it and—’
‘Whoa, steady,’ Elin said. ‘What diary?’
She listened, glancing at Brian and Angie every now and then, as Tamsin told them what had happened and recounted all she could remember of the snippets she’d seen, along with Silvan’s scrawled comments. ‘Fires. Cars. Family. It could be my imagination, but it was, like, echoes of stuff that’s been going on.’ She shook her head. ‘He was so weird about it. And when I said I wanted it to give to you, it was like something just snapped.’
Elin tried to grasp the significance. ‘Where’s Silvan now?’
‘Dunno. He wanted me to go back to his place with him. But I was like, no way. He was really scary.’ She looked at Brian. ‘You were a star, bringing me in here. As soon as Silvan realised I wasn’t going back with him, he legged it.’
She shuddered. There was a fragility about her that Elin hadn’t seen before.
‘What if it was him? The fire?’ Tamsin said. ‘And the rest – why would he do that?’
Brian got up and went to stand by the hearth. ‘We called the police; they’re on their
way. I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Why would I mind?’
Elin hardly heard him as he said they didn’t want to make things worse for Bede or her. An idea hovered on the edge of her mind, slow to form as she was distracted by the image of Bede at home on his own, in a state. Before hurrying back to join him, she needed to be sure.
‘Tamsin, have you got a photo of Silvan on your phone?’
‘Sure. Why?’
Elin was reluctant to voice her thoughts in case she was wrong. ‘Send it to mine. Quick.’
Tamsin tapped on her screen as Elin searched for a number, then dialled.
‘Elin Sherwell here,’ she said into the mobile. ‘Sorry to call out of the blue. I’m just making sure you’re there – I’ll explain later. I’m about to send you something. Please will you let me know straight away?’
She didn’t have to wait long. A deep unease rose in her as she showed the others the photo caption: Is this your Niall?