Braided Gold

by Glen Roylance

  The next day he picked her up for work, then later purchased four new tires and had them installed on Sylvia’s car. So began a relationship that gradually became more intimate in nature. In time, all of this came to Andrea’s attention. Her reaction was predictably explosive, rapidly progressing from feelings of personal injury to bitter indignation. In the ensuing confrontation, the kind Stanley detested, she demanded a divorce. Some months later as the divorce became final, Stanley and Sylvia were married. And now, for a second time, he began to face the challenge of being a father.

  Life progressed relatively smoothly for Paul during these stormy days for Andrea and Stanley. His parents’ separation and subsequent divorce altered his own life very little, as he had always felt alienated from his mother and had never enjoyed a close relationship with his father. In fact, the final months of his senior year were among the best days he could remember. Paul’s feelings for Rita made the world seem more friendly. His life had become connected to hers, and in those moments when he looked to the future, something he had rarely done to this point in his life, he visualized the two of them together. It was during these days that he decided to attend San Diego State following his graduation. He urged Rita to do the same but discovered that she had no strong desires to continue with school. One evening, some weeks later, he seized upon a tender moment as they visited and again spoke of their attending college together. In response she held him close to her as she pleadingly explained her feelings. “I don’t want to go to school, Paul. Even if I had the money to live that kind of life, I wouldn’t be happy. I want a full-time job and a place where I can live on my own. I want to buy clothes and have a car. I’m tired of being poor – of having to pretend that I am as good as other people.”

  Although Paul had never perceived a “class” barrier between the two of them, he had been conscious of the two vastly different worlds involved. In a way, these differences endeared her to him all the more. Perhaps they increased his sense of adequacy in her presence. He accepted her reluctance to continue with school, sensing that while economic privileges had opened a door for him, that door remained closed for her.

  “It’s OK,” he said reassuringly. “Do what you want to do, but stay with me, Rita.”

  “I will. Of course, I will.”

  As the final days of the school year approached, Paul was named valedictorian of the graduating class, and shortly thereafter he received word not only that he had been accepted at San Diego State but that he would be awarded a full academic scholarship. Life was good! The future was bright! But following his brief day in the sun, the storm clouds soon returned. One week before graduation Paul stopped by Rita’s home to pick her up for school. After waiting for what seemed an unusually long time, he saw Rita’s mother open the door. She was dressed in a flowered housecoat and motioned for him to come in. Leaving his car he bounded up the font steps, sensing that something was not right. The ensuing conversation left him dumbfounded. Rita had left home the previous day to take a job in the East. He had seen her on Friday, but she had made no mention of her plans. The following Sunday evening she had apparently boarded a Greyhound bus. Her mother, communicating in broken English, could give only sketchy details of what had happened. She knew of no address as yet, and was uncertain as to exactly where Rita would be working, but there was money! Money in advance to cover travel expenses, sufficient that Rita had left some for her mother’s immediate needs with the promise that she would help further as soon as she was able. Among Paul’s many unanswered questions were those having to do with school and graduation.

  “Is all right, everything OK,” came the cryptic answer from Mrs. Sanchez.

  At school, Paul spoke with the office staff, but was told that the information he desired was of a confidential nature. Not to be put off, he demanded to speak with the principal who, sensing the urgency of Paul’s concern, did provide a few answers. The request for Rita’s early departure from school had come some three weeks earlier. A letter from an employer in Maryland indicated an urgent staffing need and stated that Rita had been referred through highly trusted channels. If Rita’s work for the school year could be completed prior to the conclusion of the school year, her immediate presence on the job would be appreciated. The position, especially for a high school graduate, was of considerable importance and the salary was very generous. Rita’s mother had been in agreement that her daughter should leave as soon as arrangements could be made. Further information as to where Rita would be living or the name of her employer was not available or, as Paul surmised, was confidential for some reason.

  Unsettled and agitated about these developments, Paul returned to Rita’s home later in the week to press Mrs. Sanchez for further information. “Where could Rita be reached in Maryland? Why was the decision to leave such an urgent one and why had she kept everything from Paul?” He was uncertain as to whether Rita’s mother was feigning ignorance or really knew so few of the details. The language barrier complicated the conversation with Mrs. Sanchez who returned again and again to her refrain, “Is good for Rita; is all right; she write to you soon.”

  But there was no letter! No explanation! Graduation exercises came but seemed lackluster to Paul. Indeed, it took supreme self-control to get through his valedictory remarks without showing the bitterness he felt. Both Andrea and Stanley were in the audience, though seated in separate sections of the auditorium. Each took legitimate pride in Paul’s achievements.

  The night of the graduation dance found Paul disconsolate. Initially, he had determined to stay home, but then relented and arrived late to glumly sit on the sidelines. Towards the evening’s end, Andy Raymond, one of his friends from the football team, caught his eye and motioned for him to step outside where the two could talk. A few minutes later the two of them visited in the shadows behind the hotel where a ballroom had been rented for the dance.

  “I’m not supposed to be doing this, man. I mean, I promised I wouldn’t tell you anything. But I just think you should know what’s going on. Jennifer knows all about Rita.” Jennifer was a close friend of Rita’s and had been in a steady dating relationship with Andy for several months. The two of them had come to the dance together that evening.

  Andy’s comments had a visible effect upon Paul whose thoughts and feelings were suddenly alive, making urgent demands. He took a step closer to Andy and focused all his faculties on this friend who apparently had answers to his questions. “So what is it? What does she know?”

  “She wouldn’t tell me much, and she made me promise not to talk to you about it. But maybe if you talk with her yourself, you can get her to open up.”

  “Thanks Andy,” said Paul, slapping him on the shoulder, “that’s what I’ll do right now.” Andy immediately reached out and caught hold of Paul’s arm. “Hey, not so fast, man. If you tell Jennifer I talked to you, you’ll get me in big trouble. Just tell her you heard something and figured she might know the straight story, know what I mean?”

  Paul gave Andy time to return to the dance and then followed suit. During a dance band break he approached the group that had gathered in the corner of the ballroom. “We need to talk,” he said to Jennifer with an air of urgency.

  “Right now?” replied Jennifer, looking uncomfortably at Andy. Andy shrugged in an unconcerned manner. “It’s okay by me.”

  With apparent reluctance Jennifer followed Paul from the ballroom and through the hotel foyer until they were outside where they could talk privately. Paul came directly to the point. “I want you to tell me what’s going on with Rita. If anybody knows it would be you.”

  “You tell me, Paul. You probably know a lot more than I do.”

  The area behind Jennifer was densely landscaped with shrubs. Further back there were several large palm trees and then there was the multi-storied wall of the hotel studded with windows and balconies. As Paul stepped nearer, her natural impulse was to step back, but there was nowhere to go. Feeling the foliage pressing against her back, she felt vulne
rable. She was confident that Paul would not hurt her, but still, a wave of discomfort swept over her.

  “Where is she working? Why did she leave without talking to me about it?”

  There was an aspect of pleading in Jennifer’s response. “I don’t know anything, Paul, really I don’t.”

  “She trusts you. She’d never do anything like this without talking to someone. You’re her best friend, Jennifer. Don’t expect me to believe that you don’t know where she is.” It wasn’t cold, but Jennifer clutched her arms about her as if she were chilled. At the same time, she looked away from Paul. There was a long pause, and then Paul spoke again. “Tell me, Jennifer!”

  Slowly Jennifer turned her face to Paul. Despite the dim light where they stood, the distress in her face was unmistakable. “I can’t, Paul, I promised Rita.”

  “She’ll never know we talked. That I can promise you.”

  “You can’t talk with her. It would cause big problems if you do.”

  “She doesn’t want to talk to me. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “No, not really. It’s just all so complicated, and I don’t want anything to hurt her.”

  “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Rita, you know that.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “But what?”

  “It’ll make you mad, Paul. You’ll want to hurt her.”

  “Tell me, Jennifer!”

  “She left because of your mother.” The muscles in Jennifer’s face tensed and tears flooded her eyes – tears that reflected the light of the moon like jewels.

  “My mother? What does she have to do with all of this?”

  Jennifer bit her lip. “Oh Paul, I’m not sure I should be doing this.”

  “Don’t stop! Just tell me what has happened!”

  Haltingly, Jennifer told Paul what he wanted to know. “She didn’t want you and Rita to be so close … your mother, I mean. … She was afraid the two of you would get too involved or something. … And, well, she didn’t want the two of you getting married … I guess she doesn’t think Rita is good enough for you. It’s her family and …”

  “I know how my mother feels,” said Paul grimly. “Go on, tell me the rest of it.”

  “She has some business friends in Maryland … your mother, I mean … people she buys things from for her store. She got Rita a job with them. It’s really a good job. Your mother also gave Rita a lot of money – a lot of money, Paul! But she made Rita promise that she wouldn’t tell you about it. …Your mother doesn’t want her to see you anymore. She wants it to be all over … you know, permanently. Your mother told her that if she ever tells you about the money and how she got the job there would be problems. Your mother would cause her to lose the job, Paul. That’s what she told Rita.”

  There, the secret was out! Jennifer paused to further collect her thoughts before continuing. “Besides me, you’re the only person that knows all of this stuff …” Jennifer’s hand was trembling as she wiped tears from the side of her face. “I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t think you had the right to know … but you’ve got to promise me that you won’t cause problems for Rita!”

  Jennifer’s explanation had filled Paul with anger. In time that anger would engender dark cynicism within him. That cynicism would remain as a part of his adult life. Though she didn’t fully understand, Jennifer could feel Paul’s bitterness as he responded to her plea. “I won’t hurt her. I won’t ever talk to her again!” And with that he turned from Jennifer and walked towards the parking lot.

  As he drove home he made a resolve regarding his relationship with his mother that would, likewise, remain with him throughout the years ahead. Within three days, he had left home and moved in with his father. There he remained until his father remarried, whereupon he moved into a student apartment near the San Diego State campus with financial assistance from Stanley.

  Early on, Paul made a significant acquaintance at San Diego State. Among the general elective classes that filled out his first semester was Psychology 101, a survey class taught by Dr. Leo Dykeman. Leo had joined the University faculty in 1934 following his acquiring a Ph.D. in psychology at the University of Michigan. During his days as a graduate student he met and courted Myrna Squires, who was pursuing work on a Ph.D. in sociology. In an unusual stroke of luck, both of them were accepted as new San Diego State faculty members at the conclusion of their graduate school studies. As the years progressed they both became superb teachers and researchers, taking leadership roles in their respective departments. Leo, who had acquired significant training in clinical psychology, maintained a private counseling practice in addition to his prolific writing and skillful teaching as a staff member in the Psychology Department.

  As Myrna settled into her professional work she soon brought recognition to the Sociology Department, publishing major papers involving a variety of cross-cultural studies with Mexican-Americans on the economic impact of migrant workers in Southern California. The fact that she spoke fluent Spanish became a great asset as she pursued her work.

  One sad note in the Dykemans’ life together came on the domestic front. He and Myrna were unable to have children. At one point they had considered adopting a child, but their approach to that possibility never got passed the “talk” stage. In time, their lives became so fully enmeshed with the University that Myrna dismissed the option. She couched their prevailing perspective in appropriate words one Saturday morning following a particularly busy week. “Our students are our children,” she had said as they breakfasted together.

  The Dykemans frequently entertained promising young students at their home – sometimes as dinner guests, but more frequently in the form of discussion groups. An atmosphere of informality, enhanced by a seemingly endless array of things to eat and drink, set the stage for uninhibited conversation on social and philosophical issues that kept students eagerly and aggressively engaged into the late-night hours. Leo was particularly adept at plunging everybody into spirited debate by citing a few controversial statements from quotable authorities, and then launching the free-for-all with leading questions such as, “Do you agree with this?” or “What would happen if everybody shared this opinion?”

  One memorable night Leo rolled out the topic of legalized abortion, declaring it to be one of the compelling issues of the coming years. The discussion became so inflamed that Leo had to draw upon his skills as a peacemaker to keep things from turning into a verbal donnybrook.

  During his freshman year Paul took a class from Leo, who was impressed with the quality of his work. Paul had taken to higher education like a duck to water. As the semester progressed, Leo invited Paul to attend one his monthly discussion nights. That night Paul was his outspoken self, making it apparent that he was in his element when it came to intellectual sparring. During the evening Leo watched Paul carefully; he saw great potential in this “bright young student.” Then, as the others began to leave, Leo opened a door to Paul that would shape his future.

  “Do you take as keen an interest in other courses as you have in psychology?”

  “I suppose I’m just naturally curious about ideas, but psych does seem really relevant to me.”

  “You know, your grasp of the concepts we’ve discussed is quite unusual for a first semester freshman. I read your term paper earlier this week. It felt like I was reviewing the work of a graduate student.” The comment was a pleasant surprise to Paul.

  “Thank you. It’s nice to hear things like that.”

  “Have you ever considered majoring in psychology?”

  “Not really. I’m pretty uncertain about what I want to do with my life.”

  “Give it some serious thought, Paul. You would do well in the field. I’ve always felt that it’s important to do something that allows for natural excellence – you know, a sphere where it’s possible to be one of the best. I don’t give compliments lightly. I’m very serious when I tell you that you could fill an important role if you were to pursue a career in psychology.
”

  Paul did think about it. During the ensuing weeks the Dykemans invited him to dinner on several occasions and it soon became apparent that Myrna shared Leo’s fondness for Paul. These were happy days for Paul. As his relationship with the Dykemans deepened, they became something like surrogate parents, providing the trusting and supportive relationship he had never known in his own home. By the end of the semester Paul had decided to major in psychology. As the second semester commenced Leo secured a part-time job for Paul in the Psychology Testing Center. Here, the testing and evaluation needs of many other departments were accommodated, providing both a good student income and much valuable experience for Paul.

  During Paul’s senior year Leo suggested that he seek acceptance at the University of Michigan Graduate School – Leo’s alma matter. Willingly yielding to Leo’s persuasion, Paul submitted impressive transcripts with his application, but a glowing letter from Leo undoubtedly did much to open the door to this prestigious graduate school.

  It was about this time that Paul met Catherine Stevens, a freshman who was working a part-time job in a bookstore adjacent to the University. Cathy had been raised in the National City area of greater San Diego and was the oldest of five children. Her father, a dry-dock worker, was a man with quarrelsome disposition and precipitated an endless series of confrontations with work colleagues. But his lack of self-control had caused even more serious problems at home. There was an abusive relationship with Cathy’s mother and much harshness with the children. Following a work accident he experienced a period of disability. Ultimately, he deserted the family in the midst of a mounting financial crisis.

  Thereafter, Mrs. Stevens took a menial job and the struggle for financial survival commenced in earnest. In her mother’s absence Cathy’s family role increased in importance, she becoming like a mother to her siblings. This tenuous situation continued until an increasing alcohol problem began to take its toll on Mrs. Stevens. As things continued to unravel, San Diego County Family Services intervened, and the children were placed in foster care. A full year later, Cathy graduated from high school. But her disadvantaged life left her with a nagging sense of inferiority. Nevertheless, she had developed an intense desire to find a better life – to go to college – to make something of herself. But despite her determination to extricate herself from unhappy childhood circumstances, she had no disposition to sever the few remaining family ties. She made a concerted effort to maintain a close relationship with her mother and sought out her siblings, still feeling much like a mother to them.