by A. J. Downey
I hated that too much was left to chance, and I hated that this had even happened to her. That I had been right there, and I’d still failed to protect her.
I hated myself so damn much that she was even here.
24
Saylor…
I winced, mouth dry, a foul metallic taste in it and cracked my eyelids. It was dark in the room but there was a bright light coming from somewhere over and behind me. I raised a hand and felt the pull of tape on the back of it, the rub of plastic tubing and I grimaced.
That grimace lessened when that raised hand touched a head of silky soft and familiar hair. I glanced down at my side and was suddenly transfixed by the play of my fingers through the thatch of medium brown hair atop Poe’s sleeping head, his face turned away from me.
I groaned quietly, not wanting to wake him up and tried to swallow. I was on oxygen, and I couldn’t remember how I got here.
I mean, the last thing I remembered was standing in our garage – we’d been cleaning it out.
What’d happened? How did I end up here? Why did my head hurt?
Had the roof collapsed and beaned me on the head?
So many questions and it felt as though my head was stuffed with cotton and too thick to think through them all. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on the feel of Poe’s hair under my hand.
That felt nice, that felt good, and I would take it. I don’t think I had ever felt so rough in my life and I’d been through some tight scrapes.
One of my eyes felt thick and I couldn’t open it all the way. I hated that. Hated that I didn’t know how I got here or what was going on… but I wasn’t willing to wake Poe up to find out. Not yet. So, I just contented myself as best I could with the feel of his hair under my hand. I concentrated on the sound of the machines I was hooked up to, which sounded super loud in my ears, right along with my own rushing heartbeat.
God, I feel like shit.
I closed my eyes and tried to rest.
“Hi.”
I opened my eyes at the feminine whisper.
“There you are. Hi.”
A bubbly little blonde nurse was on my other side where my hand wasn’t mutilated by an IV in the back of it. She smiled and placed two fingers against the inside of my wrist.
“Hi,” I barely croaked and she smiled bigger.
“I’m Kristina Canaday, and I’m your nurse. Do you know where you are?” she asked.
“Hospital, um. Indigo City?”
“That’s right. Can you tell me your name?”
“Saylor Grace Dresden.”
“Your date of birth?”
I gave it to her, and her smiles just kept growing with every right answer. The year, the president, the only slight frown came when she asked if I knew how I got here, and I told her I couldn’t remember.
“That’s normal,” she whispered. “I’m going to get the doctor. Your man will be very happy to see you. He hasn’t left your side since you came in.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. I’m not surprised. My love for Poe suffusing me with warmth. “Can I have some water?”
“I’ll bring you some ice chips. How’s your pain?”
“Not good, I have a headache.”
“Okay, I’ll tell your doctor. I’ll be right back.”
She breezed out of the room and I gripped Poe’s hair gently, glad for the tactile sensation against my hand. Wishing he would wake up but still unwilling to wake him.
A moment later he sucked in a sharp breath and brought his head up slightly and with a final squeeze, I let go of his hair. He sat up carefully and looked over at me and the sight of my eyes open, my careful look, and he sat up fully.
“Saylor, baby, is that you? Are you awake?”
“Of course I’m awake,” I uttered and it didn’t exactly have the effect I’d expected.
This beautiful strong man of mine crumbled right before my eyes and cried.
“I was so worried,” he declared, and I tried to smile and reached up my arms wanting him to close the gap and hug me. I needed it. I wanted it. I craved being in his arms like nobody’s business.
He came to me and carefully hugged me and practically sobbed into the crook of my neck.
“Shhh, I’m okay,” I whispered. “It’s alright, I’m okay…”
“I thought I was going to lose you,” he gasped into the side of my neck.
“I don’t even know why I’m here,” I murmured.
“You don’t?” he asked, leaning up to look down at me, his warm green eyes traveling over me, head to toe.
“No, did the roof collapse?” I asked.
“The roof?” he asked, confusion traipsing across his face, leaving his expression muddied and confused.
“Yeah, the roof. The roof of the garage. Did it collapse? Did it bonk me on the head? I can’t remember –”
“Retrograde amnesia, it’s perfectly normal with injuries like yours. Hi, Saylor. I’m Dr. Minarde, how are you feeling?”
Poe turned, stepping aside to reveal a doctor that looked awfully young. He held a clip board with my chart, and Kristina, my nurse, waved from around behind his back.
“My head hurts,” I murmured.
“Also to be expected with injuries like yours. Is it alright if I come in and we have a chat?”
“Of course,” I murmured. “Can Poe stay?”
“Of course he can.”
I had been asleep, or knocked out, or in a coma or whatever for three going on four days. My brain had swelled, although it hadn’t bled, and the doctors were fairly confident that I would make a full recovery in time. They said I’d gotten lucky, for how serious a state I had been in, and that I needed to take things easy. Take them slow getting back into them.
I was shocked at first, then the panic, the worry, and the dread set in…
How was I going to pay for all of this?
“Don’t worry about that right now,” Poe soothed. “Yale is working on some things, and the rest of the club. You’ve got a family now and we’re going to take care of you. I’m going to take care of you.”
He kissed the temple that wasn’t horribly bruised from the sucker punch I had absolutely no memory of and I asked the doctor, “Can I have something to eat? I’m starving.”
The doctor broke into a wide grin and said, “That’s encouraging. Nurse Canaday will order you something from the cafeteria if you’d like. Stop if you feel nauseous and let her know.”
“I will, thank you. How long until I can go home?” I asked.
“I’d like to keep you a day or two for observation and get at least one more set of scans,” the doctor said, and Poe was nodding beside me. I sighed inwardly and deflated a little. I just wanted to be out of here – I didn’t like that I had already apparently been here for so long.
“Thank you, doctor,” I murmured and with a nod, he departed.
“You want to have a look at the menu?” the nurse asked.
“Sure.” I nodded and stopped partway through the motion. Too soon. I guess maybe staying here a little longer was a good idea. I looked over the menu and ordered some dinner and pretty soon I was settled back down, and it was just me and Poe again.
“Have you been to work?” I asked when Kristina had left, and he shook his head.
“I never take sick time, so I’ve got plenty. They know what’s going on and a bunch of the guys in my precinct are happy for the overtime. I do need to get back to it in the next couple of days, though.”
“Knock, knock!” a deep masculine voice called out from the front of the room. I was by the window, the curtain pulled between my bed and the next, which was empty.
“Yeah, we’re good!” Poe called back softly.
Driller appeared around the curtain with a big bouquet of flowers wrapped in white butcher paper and I smiled. They reminded me of the big bouquets you could get at Pike’s Place Market back in Seattle. How I loved the flower sellers there, the women in their quilted jackets with their mandarin collars, expe
rtly weaving individual blooms, spinning and adding, fleshing out each bouquet into a riot of color and foliage.
The bouquet that Driller handed down to me was no exception and I carefully hugged it to me and breathed in, hoping to catch a sweet scent from some of the blossoms it contained.
“From Lys’ flower shop and the greenhouses Everleigh works with her bees. Everybody’s worried about you, kid.”
I snorted and said, “I’m not a kid and –” I stopped, something coming back to me. “And what about you? I remember now, we left the garage because you got some texts that Driller was hurt or in trouble.” I directed the last at Poe.
Driller grimaced. “Deep bruising, a cracked rib or two, nothing that won’t heal. As for trouble? I’m in plenty of that… but just how much remains yet to be seen.” My face crumbled into lines of sympathy while Driller’s crumbled around the edges with his rapidly crumbling hope for his situation.
“What brings you here?” Poe asked, taking the big vase from Driller’s other hand. A simple glass cylinder.
“Flower delivery and I figured since I’m on administrative leave, I could hang with Saylor Grace while you got your ass back to work – or did you forget you got a mortgage now?”
“Trust me, I ain’t forget shit,” Poe declared and I smiled to myself. He sounded like Oz just then.
“Alright, then.”
“What time is it?” I asked softly.
“About time for him to head on in if he’s going on tonight’s tour,” Driller answered.
Poe nodded. “They’re expecting me,” he said and didn’t sound happy about it. He filled the vase at the sink and turned back holding out his hands for my flowers. I passed them to Driller who passed them to Poe.
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem,” Driller said. “You know how long until they spring you?” he asked me.
“A couple more days, maybe? They weren’t super clear. They want me to do more scans.”
“Cool, cool. What’re we watching?” he asked and took Poe’s seat and turned on my television.
“Whatever you can get on bad hospital TV,” I answered.
He surfed channels while Poe arranged my flowers for me and said, “I hate leaving.”
“I know, but you have to, I’m sorry I slept so long.”
“Technically, you were in a coma,” Driller supplied, and I made a face.
Poe arranged my flowers beautifully and set them in my window. I had a good view out of it, over the tops of some buildings and out over the bay, the winking lights of the Bay Bridge soothing to the soul as the water lapped at the supports far below them.
Poe both did and did not rush out of there to get to work and I found myself wishing I had woken up just a day earlier. Still, I understood. He’d already taken almost three days off and he’d just bought a house for us.
I worried now. I mean, we were supposed to start moving this week, we needed to be out of the apartment before the first, and now I was in here and nothing was getting packed and –
“Hey.”
I turned my head slowly and looked at Driller who gently grasped my IV’ed hand and gave it a light squeeze.
“Stop worrying about it.”
“About what?” I asked, trying to play innocent.
“I don’t know what – but whatever it is, stop it, okay? Money, moving, the new house, whatever – just stop worrying about it. We’ve got you.” He jiggled my hand back and forth lightly.
“It’s going to be okay, isn’t it?” I asked a little stunned when the realization hit me.
“What’s going on with you, what’s going on with me, it’s all going to be fine. Maybe not right away, but in the end? Whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen. So we just both need to relax and heal up.”
I nodded carefully and my nurse, Kristina, breezed in and gave a little startled ‘Oh!’ when she saw Driller who was looking a little broody which made him super, duper, hot to look at.
I still missed Poe with a fierce ache in the center of my chest, though.
“Poe had to head to work,” I said softly. “This is Driller.”
Driller gave Kristina a nod and sat back so she could put my tray of food on the rolling table cart thing over my lap.
I used the buttons on the bed railing to slowly sit up and sighed in discomfort of the catheter they had in me.
“We can get that out in a little while, after we assess your fall risk.”
“Thank you,” I said softly, understanding that if I cooperated, I would get out of here faster.
“You just give me the all clear when you’re ready to send out the text that you’re awake. The girls all want to come see you,” Driller said as I took my first hesitant bite of chicken soup.
“You can tell everybody,” I said. “I’d feel bad if you didn’t.”
“You sure now?”
“I’m sure.”
He smiled and said, “Okay, hold on to your butt, mass text going out now.”
I smiled and asked, “Seriously, how are you doing?”
His face became guarded and he answered, “I thought the kid was the one who shot me. Same height, same build, both wearing hoodies that were nearly identical in color… I feel like shit, Saylor. I feel guilty as hell – and I’m scared… but I’ll take whatever is coming at me.”
I reached out and took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I whispered with conviction.
He swallowed hard and nodded, but said, “Yeah, but I feel like I did.”
“Me too.”
“All you did was stand on the corner singing your songs,” he said.
“I can’t remember, though… and I guess I’ve always lowkey felt like I was doing something wrong. I mean… I’m a homeless girl from a poor family. Mom murdered, dad committed suicide, grandma died of cancer, granddad died of a heart attack. Maybe this is a sign not to go thinking I should get above my station in life. I don’t know.”
Driller snorted indelicately and snickered saying, “Or maybe whatever demon is on your back is losing hold and this was its last-ditch effort to hold on. I don’t think you’re rising above your station, girl. I think you’re rising to be who you were meant to be from the get-go despite life trying to hold you down.”
He sighed and continued, “Poe is a good man that deserves good things, and honestly in all the time I’ve known him? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He loves you. You love him. This is just one more bump in the road called life and you’re both going to get through just fine.”
“Well, same to you, then.”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Not the same thing at all.”
I considered him and finally said, “Agree to disagree.”
He snorted and gave a nod. “Eat your soup.”
25
Poe…
What a mess.
We only had ‘X’ amount of days to get shit done and ready at the new house to move our shit from the apartment and those days were dwindling fast. Still, Saylor was in the hospital, but she was getting out today.
We should have been painting in the new place and packing up the old place but none of it had gotten done with the sudden emergency. Now I only had two days off, she was still on the injured roster, and the next set of days off I had was the move.
I went to the hospital when I got off work until she kicked me out to go get some real sleep. Then I came back in the morning for an hour or two before rushing back to work. I didn’t give myself time for anything else… not even church, which was fine. The guys all gave me a pass and I technically didn’t need to be at every meeting. It wasn’t how we were set up.
I was definitely feeling the crunch and was cursing myself for going on autopilot through the crisis. Now, now we would be getting back on track, though. Saylor was coming home.
I pulled on my jacket and cut just as Blaze knocked on my door twice and tried it. I had it locked, out o
f habit since Saylor had come to live with me, and so I called out, “Just a sec!” I heard some feminine giggles out there with him and frowned as I unlatched the door.
“Whoa, what’re you guys doing here?” Ally, Everleigh, Claire, and Coco were on my front step with a harried looking Blaze.
“Saylor sent us!” Coco quipped, jangling Saylor’s keys.
“We’re here to pack,” Claire said with a wink. Everleigh nodded enthusiastically while Ally looked like she was trying to figure out what she could say that would get her into enough trouble and kinky fuckery with Yale.
I felt my eyebrows go up and shook my head.
“Where there’s a will there’s a way with that woman,” I said and nodded, holding the door open wider for the girls to file past.
They’d even brought boxes. Claire and Everleigh each having a flattened stack under an arm. Ally with a bag of packing tape on her wrist.
“You drive them?” I asked Blaze.
“Nope, they got here all on their own.”
I laughed and said, “Okay, let’s go get my woman. You ladies try to stay out of trouble, now.” Coco stopped in front of me and held out Saylor’s granddad’s guitar in its case. She’d held onto it, had taken it upstairs to her and Skids’ place during the scuffle.
“You’re a lifesaver!” I declared and took it from her.
“I know she would die if you didn’t bring it, I’m not sure if it didn’t get damaged. I don’t know anything about guitars. Might want to have her look. If it did get hurt, I looked up some repair shops in the city.”
“They exist?” Blaze asked impressed. I was right there with him. I mean, this was a disposable society.
Coco rolled her eyes and said, “They exist but the guys sounded way more interested in selling me a new one – they admitted to doing repairs, though.”
“I could kiss you for going the extra mile.”
“I know how heartbroken she would be,” she said, and her face crumbled into lines of empathy.