by A. J. Downey
“Thank you,” I said, hefting the guitar.
“Let’s blaze,” I told my best friend.
“Har, har, har,” he shot back, unamused.
“I thought it was funny,” I said with a shrug.
We went out and shut the door on my too-crowded place full of feminine chatter and the sounds of cardboard boxes being assembled.
“Hey, yo!” I looked over the railing down on Youngblood and Driller, both their pickups pulled up to the curb. “You wanna get this door open?” Driller called up.
“While they’re in there packing up, we can start loading up what’s in your storage,” Youngblood called.
“You guys fuckin’ serious right now?” I demanded.
“If you’re gonna bring your woman home, you might as well bring her home,” Skids called up, jumping out the passenger side of Youngblood’s ride.
“We got you, brother. Go get her. Take Lys’s grocery getter, Blaze you can stay here with your truck. Just more likely to get it in one load.” Golden and Angel were walking up the street, G. jangling a set of keys at me.
“I am not gonna argue,” I declared, excitement taking hold.
“We’ll meet you at the new place, get you set up in no time. You ain’t got that much shit,” Blaze said.
“You knew about this?” I asked. He held his hands open and tilted his head.
It was his idea.
“Bro, I owe you so big.” I clapped my hand in his and pulled him into a hard hug.
“Move it or lose it. Go spring your woman before they wrack up more charges to your bill.”
I laughed some and nodded. “Fucking hospitals, man.”
“Fucking hospitals,” he agreed.
I jogged down the steps, passed off my garage door key and the rest of my ring to Golden and took the offered key to Lys’ car.
“We’ll see you over there, man. Shouldn’t be more than a couple hours at most. The rest of us are over there cleaning and getting primer on some walls.”
“Dude, I owe you like so fuckin’ big,” I declared.
“You don’t owe us shit. You’re family. This is how we do,” Skids said.
“Yeah, well, I won’t forget it!” I called out, already on my way up the sidewalk to find Lys’ car and to go get Saylor.
The parking garage under Trinity General was a hot mess, and by the time I made it to Saylor’s room, she was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed almost ready to go, just waiting on her discharge papers. Her eyes lit up at the sight of her granddad’s guitar case in my hands but when she looked at me, she turned absolutely luminous. Radiant in a way that left me no doubt – she was the one for me.
Forever and ever, the woman for me.
I went to her and bent down, kissing her carefully but soundly.
“Hey, stranger,” she whispered against my mouth.
“You’re kind of incredible,” I whispered back and she smiled so bright.
“Oh, yeah? How’s that?” she asked.
“You know damn well what I mean.”
“I take it the girls showed up to make up for lost time on the packing?”
“And the guys,” I said. “They’re moving our shit as we speak.”
“Excellent!” she cried delighted.
I laughed.
“How much longer until I can spring you?”
“Just waiting on the paperwork.”
“Cool. You wanna check this out while we wait? Make sure no harm was done?”
“Oh, shit. You think it might have broken?”
“If it did, there’s nothing to worry about. Coco already scoped out the city’s repair shops and we’ll get it in right away.”
She teared up as she set the case on the bed.
“You haven’t even looked at it!” I cried, chuckling softly.
“Okay, unlike you it’s been a minute since I’ve had anyone looking out for me like you do for me and like the rest of your club does.”
“Hey.” I touched the side of her face and she looked up at me. “They’re your club too, now, baby. We’ve got you.”
She smiled and took a deep slow breath and let it out just as measured and slow.
“Okay, moment of truth.” She unlatched the case and threw back the lid, carefully running her fingertips over the instrument that lay inside.
“Well?” I asked.
She lifted it from its ragged velvet and turned it over in her hands. Examining the neck, the frets, the strings, and the tuning pegs. She nodded and let out a rushed breath of relief.
“It looks okay.”
I felt my own face crack into a wide and relieved grin and gave a nod.
“You know you’re not allowed to do anything when we get home,” I said.
“What? How fair is that?” she demanded.
“Until I know you’re fit for duty, you’re on the injured list,” I declared.
“Are you kidding me?” she scoffed. “We have so much to get done to make our house a home!”
“And you can start by saying ‘yes.’” I said, and I don’t know what made me say it except that it felt right, and I needed to.
“Yes to what?” she asked curiously, cocking her head gently to one side, her beautifully mismatched eyes roving my face, her lips curled into a gentle smile.
“Will you marry me?” I asked evenly.
Her smile intensified and she raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t have a ring, yet. And if it’s alright with you, I wouldn’t mind re-doing this in front of the guys with the ring, and you know, a bunch of fanfare and all of that, but right now…” I got down on one knee and took her hands into mine.
“I really need you to do me the honor of making me whole. Say ‘yes’ and let me make you the happiest woman to ever live. Let me be your family now.”
Tears brimmed along her lower lashes and she nodded. “Yes,” she said on a little broken sob and I carefully, got off my knee and stood, gathering her to me and hugging her firmly but gently.
She clung to me back, her granddad’s guitar laid haphazardly in its case, her small form sheltered by my larger one.
“I love you,” I whispered into her hair and she sniffled.
“I love you, too,” came muffled from my chest.
That was how her nurse found us, both clinging to each other. Both the happiest we could be given the circumstances of her hospital stay.
We would take things one day at a time from here on out, but together.
26
Saylor…
There was cheering when Poe escorted me through our front door. God. That was still so surreal… saying our door. My smile was brittle, and I felt like I was on the brink of another spate of happy tears. All of it just so overwhelming and real and so new and God I wish my granddad could see me now… I thought.
“Welcome home!” Ellie crowed, lowering her paint roller from the wall.
“Oh, so they got the professional artist slinging paint on the walls, huh?” I asked, laughing, going in for the hug.
“Well, primer, but yeah,” she said.
“God is everybody in on this?” Poe asked.
“Yup,” Narcos replied.
We’d seen Backdraft out back at the garage, up on a ladder with a nail gun, tacking tar paper to a fresh sheet of plywood on the roof.
“About time you got here,” Yale said and Poe laughed.
“Need a handle to get up high, huh?” Poe asked and Yale glared at him.
“Fuck you.”
“What can I do?” I asked and though my head throbbed a little, I otherwise felt okay and wanted to do something.
“Nothing,” Poe declared, taking off his jacket and motorcycle vest which I’d handed him in the little driveway. He wouldn’t wear it in a car. He always draped it across my lap.
“Oh, come on! I’d like to do something.”
“Play us a song, then,” Yale said.
I smiled and said, “Now that I can do.”
I went and sat on the s
tairs with my granddad’s guitar, it was the most out of the way place I could be while they painted primer up and down the living room walls and coated the ceiling with it.
I strummed a few experimental notes and satisfied I was in tune, began to play.
When we met you were my sweet
Said there's nothing that could hold you back from me.
Talked all day and we dreamed all night
But I never saw the truth until the morning light
You promised me your love.
And I walked miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…
To find that slamming door
Babe I should have seen it coming
I've been here before
I come close and you start gunning
Well Cupid he don't shoot no bow
He's got an Mk 48
Left me standing on your stairs
You called me "honey, baby, sugar" now you don’t care
I spit on the ground, I cussed your name
And if there's a God I prayed to him that you would go up in flames
You tossed me off that cliff
After I drove miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…
To find that slamming door
Babe I should have seen it coming
I've been here before
I come close and you start gunning
Well Cupid he don't shoot no bow
He's got an Mk 48
Well I fell down hard I broke apart
But there's no better lesson 'bout a man like you
Than crawling in the streets looking for the pieces of my
Broken heart…
So you'd better hide behind that slamming door
And pray you never see me coming
I've been here before
So you'd better start to running
I'm not a girl in ribbons and bows
I've got an Mk 48
A rowdy round of applause and whistling went up and I laughed. It felt good to sing and to play again after days of not being able to.
It was cold in here, the doors and windows open to vent the primer fumes. I continued to play and intermittently sang, but my head still throbbed so I honestly didn’t want to overdo it. So while I kept playing, I quit with the singing pretty soon after that first song.
The atmosphere was light and animated, as our little house came together. Once the primer job was done downstairs, they moved upstairs and when the boxes arrived, we parceled them into one room, the better bathroom got set up and the bed was set up in the middle of the living room until we could finish one of the bedrooms.
The whole thing ended in laughter, traded stories, talk of what kinds of furniture we would be looking at when and pizza on paper plates and soda out of plastic cups.
It was a whirlwind of activity, and once the last person had left, it was just me and Poe in our little house, his bike tucked safely in the little freshly roofed garage.
“Wow,” I said with a little laughter.
“Yeah, going to have to find the boxes with the bedding,” he said laughing.
“Shit, oh no!” I covered my mouth with my hands.
He laughed nodding and said, “I’ll go look. You stay down here.”
“I’d like to help,” I said, and he looked me over from the bottom step where I sat on the edge of the bed.
“How’s your head?” he asked gently.
“A little throbby but otherwise, okay.”
“You take anything for it?” he asked.
“No,” I laughed a little. “I didn’t think to.”
“They gave you that prescription Tylenol shit, where is it?” he asked, stepping down and coming back to me.
“Um, side pocket of my backpack.”
“Let me get it for you, babe.” I smiled and he got me a pill and some more soda for my cup. I took it and smiled up at him.
“Tired?” he asked softly.
I nodded slightly.
“Yeah.”
“Me too, it was a big day.”
“I’m still more than a little boggled that we’re moved. I mean, just like that!”
“Just like that,” he agreed, grinning down at me. He brought his mouth to mine in a gentle kiss and I smiled against his mouth, kissing him back.
“I’ve slept like shit without you,” he whispered.
“They kept waking me up to give me a sleeping pill,” I whined, pouting out my bottom lip. He laughed.
“Sounds like every hospital ever known anywhere.”
“Right?” I asked and laughed slightly.
He sighed happily.
“I can’t wait to marry you,” he said.
“Me either.”
“Do you ever think that this is crazy?” he asked and sat down next to me. “Like, do you ever doubt that I’m sincere in any way?”
I searched his face, his beautiful green eyes and shook my head slightly.
“No.”
“Sometimes I do, but it all feels just so right and for, I think, the first time in my life ever I don’t care what other people think. There is something just so beautiful, so freeing about knowing you.” He traced some of my hair behind my ear. “Something about being with you is better than any rush I’ve ever gotten flying down the highway. I just don’t know how to put it into words how much I love you. How much I love being with you.”
“You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” I whispered, tearing up. “Somebody to love. Somebody to love me… a home… a real life. Roots.”
“I give you roots, you give me wings,” he muttered and closed the distance between us again with a kiss that sealed both of our fates.
This was the stuff of fairy tales, of legends, true love in action, and as he kissed me, laying me back on the bare mattress, the glimmer of magic that was the love between us warmed us in the cold house and sent a shimmer of delight over our skins.
“Mm, stop, let’s make the bed,” I murmured.
“I need you so bad, right now, baby –”
“I know, I need you too, but when we’re done, are we really going to want to move?” I giggled and he chuckled back.
“Fair. Point to you, my love.”
“God, I hope they labeled those boxes clearly.”
“Me, too!”
We got up and went upstairs and into the room full of boxes. It was a pain in the ass, finding the ones we were looking for, but we did and then found the pillows and comforter wrapped in heavy trash bags to keep them clean.
“Do we need to find clothes?” I asked.
“We might as well. We also better find towels.”
“Oh, shower! Good point. I feel gross after so many days without one.”
“Want to do that first?” he asked as we sorted through things looking for fresh towels.
“God, that’s a tough decision.”
“How about take a bath with me,” he said.
“Oh, shit! We have a bathtub now!”
“Yes we do!”
“I am so down,” I said and he seemed well pleased with the decision.
I found my box with my three-wick candles that I’d gotten on sale and kept for the eventuality that I would ever have a home of my own. These were the ridiculously expensive candles from that bath shop that only held a sale once a year. I got mine for like ten dollars apiece, but even ten dollars at the time was cringe-worthy pricey.
It meant something to me to open one and light it now. On our first night in our new home.
We made the bed first and I lit one of the candles downstairs in the middle of the empty floor where it was safe from catching anything else. The Primer was mostly dry, the fumes damped down by a lot, and Poe had said he was sure it would be alright.
I took a second one up to the bathroom with us and set it on the back of the toilet, the warm golden glow overpowered by the naked bulbs aglow above the sink for now while the tub started to fill and gently steam.
Poe got in before me, and I shut out the light, relief f
looding in at the muted glow of candlelight versus the harsh electric.
“Come here,” he murmured and held out a hand to me to help me down into the tub. I got in, between his legs, carefully leaning back into his warmth, the water rising quickly at our displacement.
I hummed out in happiness as his arms went around me and he laughingly shut off the tap with his foot before we could overflow.
The sudden silence was soothing as he held me close and kissed the back of my shoulder and along the side of my neck.
“I missed you so much,” he murmured.
“Oh, yeah? What’d you miss the most?” I asked.
“Hmm, tough call. Coming home to you, holding you, telling you about my shift and falling asleep with you in my arms… I mean it. I slept like shit while you were gone. It just wasn’t the same.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered softly. “I seriously wish I could remember. I mean, I don’t remember a thing past closing up the garage.”
“There is absolutely nothing you need to be sorry for, baby. If anybody needs to be sorry it should be me for not getting to you soon enough.”
“You had no way to know from what everyone else said.”
“Yeah, no, I know… it’s just… fuck. I wish I could have gotten to you in time.”
I cuddled back into him and sighed. “It was worth the headache,” I joked and he laughed slightly.
“I was so scared I’d lost you,” he said after a long silence and we both sobered rather quickly.
“I’m here,” I whispered, and he held me so tight, his lips pressed against the side of my neck as he breathed me in.
“You smell like a hospital, your hair… sit up for me.”
I obeyed, trusting him implicitly, hugging my knees as he dipped one of the plastic cups from downstairs into the water and brought it up to douse my hair.
He lovingly, reverently, washed me. Starting with my hair which he carefully shampooed and rinsed, careful of my eyes, making sure he got every bit of soap out of my strands. Gently detangling them, before moving on with a washcloth to scrub my body.