The Inside Story

by Michael Buckley

  Puck lay down in the grass with his hands behind his head. “Ah, isn’t this the life?”

  Sabrina could hardly believe her ears. “What? You’re enjoying this?”

  “Aren’t you? Jumping from one story to the next, playing around with history, changing people’s destinies—this is first-rate mischief-making,” Puck said.

  “I will never understand you,” she mumbled.

  Puck laughed. “Really, don’t you feel your heart beating! Don’t you feel so alive? We’ve nearly died a dozen times already. It’s exhilarating!”

  Daphne laughed. “I’d lost count. Who can remember them all?”

  “The last year of my life has been awesome. I hate to admit it, but you two have helped my street credibility in the prankster community. We’ve busted a guy out of jail, broken into someone’s house, killed dragons and giants, destroyed a bank and an elementary school, changed the future, and started a civil war. You should be proud of yourselves.”

  Puck and Daphne laughed until they could hardly breathe. Sabrina, however, was horrified. She had been involved in all of those disasters and her choices had made them possible—sometimes even caused them directly. She jumped up and ran into the woods before anyone could see her tears.

  She threw herself under a giant toadstool and wept until her body shook. She had never cried so hard or felt so lost.

  “Let’s get something clear,” Puck said. His presence startled Sabrina, and she jumped to her feet. She felt awkward and exposed as she wiped the tears from her face, but Puck ignored her embarrassment. “I’m not going to hug you or let you cry on me. Don’t get any funny ideas about that stuff. But, if you want to open your gob and spill your guts about your boo-boo face, feel free.”

  “I’m fine,” she lied.

  “You are smelly, annoying, infuriating, and I’m sure your parents dropped you on your head when you were a baby, but you are not fine. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I would suspect a Levorian Ear Toad had burrowed into your brain. You haven’t been yourself since we stepped into this book.”

  “Sorry to disappoint,” Sabrina said as she stared off into the forest.

  “Oh, boy!” Puck said. “Listen, I gave you a chance, but if you don’t—”

  “I’m scared,” she said, hardly believing she had said it.

  Puck grinned.

  “Go ahead and laugh, dirtball, and I’ll break your face,” Sabrina said. She took a deep breath. She had a million fears: She was afraid of making bad decisions, getting her sister hurt, not finding her brother, failing. There was only one way to explain all of them. “I’m afraid of myself.”

  Puck arched an eyebrow. “Let’s pretend I don’t completely understand.”

  “I keep screwing up,” Sabrina said. “In the last few weeks I’ve helped our greatest enemy destroy our house and kidnap our brother, and I raced into this crazy book without a second thought. Now we’re working for this Editor, who might be evil, and his little pink erasers who might decide to eat us.”

  Puck rolled his eyes. “I suppose you want a pity party.”

  Sabrina’s face flushed with anger. “So I open up to you and you make fun of me for it? You know what you are, Puck? You’re a jerk.”

  Puck laughed as if Sabrina had just told him the funniest joke ever, which sent her into an even nastier rage. After all the time she had spent with this filthy boy she suddenly realized that he was exactly the same selfish, arrogant, and weird punk who had tried to push her into a pool not so long ago. How she could have ever considered him a friend, or even have feelings for him, was just more proof that she couldn’t trust her own choices. She realized at that moment that if there was a decision she could be sure about, it was that she would never give this boy her heart. She didn’t care what was supposed to happen in the future. “I’m going to find Daphne,” she snapped, and stormed off, only to have Puck snatch her by the hand and roughly pull her to the ground.

  “Are you crazy?” Sabrina said.

  “Be quiet,” he whispered, wrapping his hand around her mouth. “There are men coming. Lots of them.”

  Sabrina peered through the bushes and saw dozens of figures rushing through the forest. Each one had the body of a different playing card but with a head and arms and legs like a human.

  Sabrina gasped. “Card soldiers!” She had encountered a few in the real world. Most worked for Mayor Heart and Sheriff Nottingham. They cared little for the rule of law unless it allowed them to cut someone in half with their swords.

  “Where’s Daphne?” Sabrina whispered.

  Puck shrugged. “I left her by the brook.”

  Sabrina wanted to run to her sister, but all she could do was wait patiently for the strange army to pass.

  Once they were gone, she and Puck crept out from behind their hiding spots and rushed to the stream. Daphne was nowhere to be found.

  “Do you think they took her?” Sabrina asked. She felt as if she might faint.

  “Hey,” a voice said from above. Sabrina and Puck looked up and saw Daphne clinging to a tree limb high above their heads. “The card soldiers are everywhere. I can see hundreds of them. We should keep moving.”

  The children left as quickly as they could, but it soon became clear that something was following them. Something was jumping from one branch to the next, causing a shower of strange nuts to fall down on their heads. Puck, who had better eyesight than a non-Everafter, could not spot their stalker no matter how much he studied the trees. Even when he took to the air to search the branches, he couldn’t see anything.

  “Just keep moving,” Sabrina said, doing her best to reassure Daphne. “It’s probably a curious animal. When it gets bored, it will go find something else to do.”

  Unfortunately, all her attention on the strange stalker had distracted Sabrina from where they were going and who they were running from. They made a turn in the path only to stumble upon a crowd of card soldiers as menacing and vicious as any she had seen. Their leader, a very angry Nine of Diamonds, picked up the ball of yarn and then stepped forward with a sword aimed at Sabrina’s heart.

  “The Queen would like to make your acquaintance,” the Nine of Diamonds said. Sabrina thought his invitation sounded a lot like a threat.

  “Tell the Queen we’re a little busy,” Sabrina said.

  The Nine of Diamonds scowled and stepped closer. “The Mad Hatter claims you told him you were from the real world. Her Majesty demands your presence.”

  “We don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daphne lied.

  “So, you aren’t responsible for changing the story?”

  The children looked at one another sheepishly. “Maybe a little.”

  “You are creating mayhem, and it is going to stop!” he shouted. The rest of his soldiers circled the trio and leveled their swords at their heads.

  “I guess we can spare a few minutes for the Queen,” Puck said.

  The children were marched through the forest until they came to a dirt road. There they saw several horse-drawn coaches racing along it—all of which were driven by frantic horsemen who looked as if their lives depended upon getting to their destinations as quickly as possible. “Out of the way!” They shouted at one another. “Royal business!”

  The guards marched the girls into the heavy traffic, where they had to jump to avoid the speeding coaches and stay alive. The group pressed on until they came to a castle.

  At the gate stood a guard with the head of a frog. He wore white leggings, a red coat with tails, and a white powdered wig like something out of an old romance novel, but his face was a muddy green and slick with slime. His big, bulbous eyes spun in their sockets yet he had a dignified, almost smug expression on his face.

  “Are these the troublemakers?” the frogman croaked.

  “Of course,” the Nine of Diamonds said. “Let us pass.”

  The frog eyed them all carefully. “I don’t know. You could be an impostor.”

  “Impostor? You know me! I was at your
wedding,” the soldier cried.

  “One can never be too careful,” the frog croaked.

  “Well, I would think that the fact that I have a playing card for a body would be evidence enough of my identity.”

  “This conversation is too freaky,” Daphne whispered to Sabrina.

  The frog eyed the card soldier up and down and then let out a harrumph. “Keep a close eye on your prisoners,” he warned.

  The Nine of Diamonds scowled and pushed past the amphibious guard. He demanded the children follow closely and complained that they were pokey, as he led them into a damp and chilly tunnel beneath the castle. They emerged on the other side of the castle into a beautiful garden filled with exotic flowers in bright, vibrant colors and aromas. Several stone fountains sprayed crystalline water into the sky, creating shimmering rainbows. Everything was landscaped and manicured. The grass looked as if it had been trimmed by hand. Some of the details, however, were pure nonsense. As they stood beside the garden gate, Sabrina noticed a handful of card soldiers busily painting a bush’s white rose bulbs bright red. When one of the soldiers splashed paint on another, they all broke into an argument that nearly turned into a fistfight.

  “The Queen! The Queen!” someone shouted, and then a large procession of people entered the garden. There were trumpeters, court jesters, jugglers, mimes, and balladeers followed by ten card soldiers, followed by princes and courtiers decorated in diamonds, then ten children dressed in silk outfits decorated in hearts, then a group of very royal-looking men and women who appeared to be kings and queens, and finally a white rabbit in a little red smoking jacket who shooed everyone aside to allow for a soldier to enter carrying a velvet cushion with a crown on it.

  “All eyes!” the rabbit chirped as he scanned the crowd with disdain. “The King and Queen of Hearts.”

  The Queen of Hearts and a rather sheepish-looking man with long hair and a beard entered to shrill trumpeting. Sabrina knew the Queen quite well. As the recently elected mayor of Ferryport Landing, she had nearly destroyed the town and taken an active interest in making the Grimm family’s lives miserable. The King, however, Sabrina had never met. He looked just like the King of Hearts she had seen on packs of playing cards—complete with the strange beard that curled at the bottom. She had heard several conflicting stories about the King of Hearts. Some suggested he had decided to stay in Wonderland when Wilhelm Grimm offered to take everyone to America. Others claimed the Queen had murdered him in his sleep. Knowing the Queen of Hearts the way she did, Sabrina suspected that last rumor was true.

  “Get to your places!” the Queen shouted as she charged through the crowd, knocking over soldiers and trumpeters as she went. “We’re supposed to be playing croquet. We have to get this story back on track.”

  Everyone dashed off in a different direction only to return with a flock of gangly pink flamingoes and several squirmy hedgehogs. The Queen took one of the lanky birds and held it as if it were a croquet mallet. Then she placed the hedgehog on the ground and lined up the bird’s beak with the hedgehog’s behind. Then she swung wildly and missed her shot completely. Not that she could have hit the hedgehog. It wisely scurried off before the bird came down. The Queen chased after it, and with much aggravation and a dozen wild swings she managed only to knock the daylights out of seven attendants, one after another as they rushed in to help. Soon the playing field had a small but growing mountain of unconscious obstacles.

  When she had spun herself in a half-dozen circles, she called for her attendants. “Where are the interlopers?!” the Queen railed.

  The Nine of Diamonds pushed the children across the lawn until they stood before the dumpy and overheated Queen. “Your Majesty,” the Nine of Diamonds said, “I have captured the three trespassers. They are responsible for the alterations to our important tale. I hope you are most pleased.”

  The Queen looked at the children and then turned to the Nine of Diamonds and flashed him a disgusted expression. “Well, they can’t very well play the game without mallets and balls.”

  “Of course,” the Nine of Diamonds stammered, leaping into action. A moment later he returned with more flamingoes and hedgehogs. He shoved them into the children’s hands. Sabrina’s bird flapped furiously to free itself, showering her in pink feathers. Daphne’s hedgehog hissed and bit at her before she set it on the ground where it promptly scurried away. Puck allowed his hedgehog to crawl up into his shirt.

  “So you are from the real world?” the Queen said, swinging her flamingo at the furry ball. She missed again, but this time the force of the swing knocked her off her feet. Several of the soldiers helped her up and brushed her off with a great deal of energy until she slapped each of them in the head.

  “Children, I am talking to you,” she said.

  Sabrina nodded. “Yes, we are not from this book.”

  “Interesting . . . ,” the King of Hearts said.

  The Queen flashed him an angry expression. “What would you know?”

  He muttered an apology before lowering his eyes.

  “It’s your turn!” the Queen said to Puck.

  Puck laughed. His flamingo had started a fight with Sabrina’s bird and the two were producing a symphony of squawking and screeching. “I think I’m going to have to pass.”

  “Why have you come here?” the Queen asked.

  Sabrina could barely look at her. Her fictional version was even more troubling and grotesque than the real Queen. Her head was gigantic and her arms and legs plump and short. It reminded Sabrina that this was not the real Mayor Heart. “We’re searching for someone. A boy called Pinocchio. He’s traveling with several wooden marionettes that can walk and talk.”

  “And pinch,” Daphne said, showing the purple bruise on the back of her arm.

  “Yes, he has been trespassing in our story as well. Bring the prisoner to me,” the Queen said.

  “You have him?”

  “Yes, my guards arrested him earlier today,” the Queen said. “He was creating a great deal of mischief.”

  “Since when is that a crime?” Puck asked.

  As he ranted about his rights and freedoms to cause chaos and mayhem, Sabrina tried to process what the Queen had just told her. Did she really have Pinocchio in her custody? Could one of her family’s bitterest enemies really be that helpful?

  “The scamp has disturbed the flow of our story,” the Queen said. “His presence has sent a ripple through everything—changing dialogue, themes, and even characters. At this very moment I am supposed to be having an argument about beheading the Cheshire Cat, but as you can see, the cat is nowhere to be seen.”

  “I’m sure he’s just running a bit late, Your Majesty,” the White Rabbit said as he eyed a golden pocket watch fastened to a chain around his waist.

  “Here comes the troublemaker,” the King said, gesturing across the lawn.

  Sabrina recognized the angry little boy at once. Pinocchio had a pointy nose, buckteeth, and little ears. He was wearing overalls and a red cap, and his hands were tied behind his back. Still, he struggled to get free from the guards, one of whom carried a birdcage in his hand. As they drew closer, Sabrina could see Pinocchio’s marionettes were locked inside.

  “You!” Pinocchio snarled as he glared at the children. “Why won’t you let me be?”

  “You betrayed us!” Sabrina said. “You think you can help Mirror kidnap a member of our family and we will just let it go? I thought you were some great intellect.”

  Daphne threw a punch into her open palm. “Let me at him.”

  “I didn’t want to help the Master, but he was the only one who could provide me with this opportunity. When I asked the Blue Fairy to make me into a real boy, I never imagined her magic would cruelly keep me this age forever. I was desperate for something everyone else takes for granted. I just want to become an adult and take advantage of my life.”

  “I’ve been this age for almost four thousand years,” Puck said. “I kind of dig it.”

  “I
suppose you’re taking me back to the real world?” Pinocchio said.

  Sabrina shook her head. “Not at all. We’re turning you over to the Editor. What he plans to do with you, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

  Just then, four guards with axes on their shoulders approached. All wore black hoods that covered their faces, but their playing card bodies revealed them to be Aces from all four suits: diamonds, hearts, spades, and clubs. Behind them were more card soldiers, many of whom were carrying tree stumps on their shoulders.

  “What’s all this?” Daphne said, as the soldiers set up their tree stumps.

  “Clearly we are going to execute this boy for crimes against our story,” the Queen barked. “Off with his head!”

  One of the hooded soldiers forced Pinocchio’s head onto the stump while another sharpened his ax on a black stone.

  “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Sabrina cried. “You can’t kill him!”

  “We can’t?” the King of Hearts said. “We have everything we need at our disposal to kill this criminal. Show her one of the axes.”

  The hooded guard flashed the deadly blade in Sabrina’s eyes. “See, it’s very sharp!” he said proudly.

  “I’m not arguing that you can kill him,” Sabrina exclaimed. “I’m saying that you shouldn’t. The Editor wants him out of this story. He’s caused enough problems and the more you change, the more has to be fixed.”

  The Queen let out a frustrated harrumph. “The Editor does what the Editor does. As the Queen of this Wonderland, my obligation is to pass judgment on every accused criminal here. Pinocchio entered our story with his marionettes and quickly went to work destroying it. That is a crime punishable by death.”

  “Don’t let them kill me,” Pinocchio pleaded as he fought against the much stronger men.

  “The Editor can fix all this,” Daphne said. “But if you kill the puppet, that’s permanent.”

  “I’m not a puppet!” Pinocchio said.

  “Dear, dear, I think I understand what the girl is saying,” the King said, patting the Queen on the back. “The other children are jealous that they aren’t being executed.”