Love Offline

by Olivia Spring

  She’d then swiftly made herself a cup of tea, cut a large slice of the lemon cake she’d just taken out of the oven, then sat down ready to be ‘entertained’, as she put it.

  I’d filled her in on our evening together, how nice Josh was, how much I liked him, but didn’t think he could like me as I looked like a train wreck. But Chloe was convinced otherwise and revelled in spouting her I told you so speech.

  It was definitely a smart move to speak yesterday on the phone as, knowing Josh would be working at Cuppa today whilst Chloe and I had our weekly catch-up, there was no way we could have openly discussed what happened.

  Somehow we’d managed to fill another hour that evening talking about Josh. The last part of the chat mainly consisted of Chloe insisting that I should ask him out.

  ‘Me? Ask Josh out?’ I’d protested, almost choking on the glass of vodka, orange and cranberry I’d poured myself in a half-hearted attempt to make a Sex on the Beach despite not having all the ingredients. ‘You’ve got to be joking. I don’t even know if he likes me, and you’re suggesting that I voluntarily put myself up for rejection?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ she’d scoffed. ‘He already asked you out when he spoke about next time, so all you’d be doing is just confirming dates. Simple.’

  ‘That’s your favourite bloody word. Of course it’s simple when you’re not the one having to do it,’ I’d said.

  Just thinking about it had made me break out into a cold sweat, so after she kept insisting, I told her I didn’t want to listen to her bullying anymore and that I’d see her at Cuppa today. And so here we were.

  ‘For the love of God and all that is good and holy,’ said Chloe. If she drooled anymore I might need to give her a cloth to mop the table. ‘Check out his bottom,’ she added as we both watched him reaching for something on the top shelf. He was wearing black jeans and a fitted black T-shirt. ‘And those muscular arms…’

  ‘I know,’ I said, shamelessly joining her swooning session. ‘I may have been tipsy on Saturday night, but believe me, I checked out that behind many, many times when he got up to get the drinks. Mmmm…anyway!’ I said, catching myself and my behaviour. ‘What are we like? We’re acting as though we’re in one of those Diet Coke Break adverts from the nineties, going all doe-eyed over the sexy window cleaner. Have we not evolved since then? There’s more to Josh than just a hot body. We shouldn’t be objectifying him like that.’

  ‘Oh, do be quiet and get off your politically correct high horse! You’re enjoying the view just as much as I am. We’re not harassing him, just showing appreciation in our own private way. Crumbs! He’s coming over. Act normal, Em!’

  Yes, act normal. Cue me playing with my hair, blushing, wriggling around nervously in my seat as he got closer, followed by grinning like a lunatic. Yeah, smooth, Emily. Real smooth. Told you I was rubbish at playing it cool.

  ‘Here you go, ladies. Two lattes and two blueberry muffins. Both on the house as promised.’

  ‘Ah you’re such a sweetie,’ Chloe jumped in before I had a chance to open my mouth. ‘I’m Chloe,’ she said, reaching out her hand, ‘pleasure to meet you.’

  ‘Nice to meet you too, Chloe,’ said Josh, shaking her hand formally. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’

  ‘All good I hope?’ she replied, smiling so much her cheeks looked like they were about to shatter.

  ‘Yes, absolutely!’ he said.

  ‘Good! And I’ve been hearing a lot of amazing things about you too, Josh…’

  ‘Is that so?’ He smirked as he turned to look at me.

  I kicked Chloe under the table.

  ‘Yeah,’ I jumped in. ‘I was telling her how kind you were, listening to me drone on for hours about my problems.’

  ‘Well, you were doing me a favour, remember? Helping me out so I wouldn't have to drink alone.’

  ‘With a body like that, I couldn’t imagine you ever having to spend a night alone, sweetheart,’ said Chloe, fluttering her eyelashes.

  ‘Chloe!’ I shouted.

  ‘Oops, sorry!’ she said. ‘Did I just say that out loud? I thought I was just whispering it in my head.’

  Ground, please swallow me up now. Cue awkward silence.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Josh, blushing, ‘I better get back. Nice to see you again, Emily. You look lovely today, by the way.’

  ‘Well, I couldn’t look any worse than I did on Saturday! Mascara running down my face and—ouch!’ I yelped as Chloe kicked me under the table. ‘I—er. Thank you,’ I said, correcting myself and remembering that rather than reminding him how shit I looked, I should have just graciously accepted the compliment and shut up. I couldn’t help it. I was nervous.

  He smiled at me again and then headed back behind the counter.

  ‘See!’ said Chloe. ‘How can you not see that he likes you? Are you blind?’

  ‘He was just being nice.’

  ‘What’s wrong with you? We need to book you an appointment at the optician, as clearly your eyesight has gone down the toilet. And by the way, if someone pays you a compliment—’

  ‘Yes, yes,’ I jumped in. ‘I realised that I was supposed to be selling myself and not talking him out of it. You didn’t have to kick me so hard, though!’

  ‘What, like when you kicked me under the table?’

  ‘Well, that was well-deserved. You were practically about to tell Josh that I have a giant crush on him. I had to shut you up somehow.’

  ‘Violence doesn’t solve anything. Did you not learn that at school?’

  ‘And what was with that I can’t imagine you spending a night alone with a body like that comment? You’re such a bloody perv! And you’re married too. Poor Brian.’

  ‘Brian knows he’s my one and only. And Josh knows I was jesting. You’re the only one he wants.’ She winked.

  ‘Oh be quiet! Anyway, like I said, he was just being polite.’

  Then again, I thought about it more closely. I wasn’t great at picking up on signals, least of all from guys, but he did seem to look at me like he was interested. And he’d said I looked lovely…

  Despite insisting I was going to dress and act normal, unsurprisingly, I had found myself waking up forty minutes earlier than usual just to get ready, which was a big deal—especially on a Monday morning. I’d showered, tried to find a decent outfit, put on some make-up and did my hair. I hadn’t gone too overboard. Just opted for a casual knee-length floral dress and some tinted moisturiser, mascara and gloss and teased out my curls, (which I was getting much better at managing thanks to the game-changing products Rochelle had recommended). I thought I’d pulled off the not trying too hard look, but it had taken me ages. Ironically, it was the kind of effortless look that required lots of effort.

  I’d been practising the ‘I am beautiful’ mantra Paige had suggested in the mirror too. As odd as it seemed, maybe it was helping. I felt good. I was looking better too. More confident and together. I was beyond excited to see Josh again, and of course, wanted him to find me attractive too, so him saying he thought I looked lovely was definitely a bonus. Mission accomplished, it would seem. I’d need to find a balance, though, with this making more of an effort thing. Couldn’t go overboard. It was still important to be myself, and I wasn’t sure I could keep this up every day. I needed my sleep…

  ‘But, seriously,’ I said, bringing myself back into the room, ‘do you think he does like me?’

  ‘Yes! I wouldn’t say it otherwise. I know you think I’m pushy, but I love you, Em, and I wouldn’t encourage you to do something that I thought would hurt you. It’s obvious he’s into you. I don’t know how you can’t see it. Apart from the fact that he’s looked over here a million times for no other reason than to check you out and got all nervous around you is a big clue. Oh, that and also telling you you’re “hot”, as you would say.’ Sounded so weird hearing Chloe use that word. Bit like your granny using slang and saying wicked or bad to describe something that was good.

  ‘He didn't say hot. He
just said lovely.’

  ‘Same thing! And when you take into account him saying he’d like to meet up again, it’s clearly a done deal. Trust me. I was right about my get you out of the house challenge, and I’m right about this too. The question is, are you going to wait around hoping for him to make a move or be brave, show him you like him and actually do something about it?’

  ‘But, I—’

  ‘No buts! I’m sorry, but you’ve got a nice, genuine, kind guy who also happens to be hotter than chilli sauce and is clearly into you and you’re just going to let him slip through your fingers? Look!’ she said, forcing my head around to look at Josh again. ‘For Pete’s sake, look at him! Imagine having that man’s gorgeous lips roaming all over your body! Imagine grabbing onto his firm naked arse!’

  First she’d used the word hot and now arse. Jeez. What had got into her?

  ‘Chloe!’

  ‘Come on, Em. I know I’ve been going on about his body and how dishy he is, but in all seriousness, it’s more than that. I can tell. I can just sense it. He’s the one for you. He seems like a good guy. Close your eyes and imagine having more nights like Saturday with Josh. Spending time with him. Spending your life with him. Imagine it. Just for a second. A millisecond, even. And tell me you will be happy to walk out that door without even trying to set up your next date.’

  ‘Saturday wasn’t a date.’

  ‘Poppycock. Just ask him. Ask him for a drink. Just a few words is all it takes to alter your destiny, forever.’

  ‘You sound like a horoscope page!’

  ‘I don’t give a monkey’s what I sound like. I’m right. Guys like Josh don’t come along every day, and loads of girls would kill to get his attention. Look!’ She pointed at the tables directly opposite the counter. ‘Do you think those women with their tongues hanging out are here for the coffee? No! They’re here for him. Have you not noticed how much busier this place has become since he started and how there’s been a massive increase in the female clientele? No coincidence, Emily. But, hey, it’s up to you. If you want to let those other floozies swoop in and take the man that should be with you, then be my guest.’

  Dammit. She’d touched a nerve. And I bet Chloe knew it too.

  After Nicole had set her sights on Eric and taken him away from me (yes, I know he played his part), if Chloe was right and Josh was interested, I couldn’t let another woman grab the opportunity to be with him. I had to go for it.

  ‘Sod it!’ I said, slamming my mug down on the table. I got up and walked towards the counter, where Josh was facing away from me as he unpacked milk bottles into the fridge. As I grew closer, something about the back of his head seemed familiar. I remembered I’d thought the same thing on Saturday night, but I still couldn’t place it. Very strange.

  He turned around. My heart started pounding. Shit.

  ‘Oh, hi! Sorry, Emily, didn’t see you there. Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine, thanks. So,’ I said quickly, worried that I was going to get too nervous to get the words out if I didn’t do it straight away, ‘I was wondering, about that next time you spoke about on Saturday? Shall we do it?’ Poor choice of words. Try again, Emily. ‘I mean, would you like to meet for a drink again sometime? I promise I won’t go on about myself or how much I hate my ex like last time. And you won’t need to practically carry me home like you did before. I’ll be a model drinking buddy!’

  Buddy? Why the hell did I use the word buddy? Just put myself firmly in the friend zone. I was so rubbish at this.

  ‘Great!’ Josh grinned. ‘Yeah, I’d really like that.’

  ‘Oh, great! Cool!’ I said. Calm down. Don’t show too much excitement. ‘So when’s good for you?’ I said as casually as I could.

  ‘Erm, well, I have a day off tomorrow if you want to meet up then,’ he said. ‘Unless it’s too soon or you already have other plans?’

  Other plans? Even if I had a private meeting with the Queen, I would gladly cancel for a date with you. If it is a date, of course...

  ‘No, no! Tomorrow’s perfect!’ I said.

  ‘Great! Well, should we exchange numbers, then, and we can message to arrange times and where to meet?’

  ‘Sounds good!’ I replied. ‘Oh! Before I forget, let me give this back to you.’ I reached into my dress pocket and handed Josh his handkerchief. ‘All freshly washed and pressed.’

  ‘Oh, thanks! I wasn’t expecting you to give it back. You didn’t have to. Really kind.’ He smiled. I still couldn’t believe I’d ironed a hanky as I hate ironing with a passion, but I didn’t want to give it to him all crumpled up, and it was the least I could do after he’d been so sweet to me.

  ‘No, thank you!’ I insisted.

  ‘You’re welcome! I’ll come over to your table in a sec. Don’t want the boss to think I’m taking advantage of my position by picking up customers on the job. I mean, not that I’m picking you up…’ He winced, realising how what he’d said could be misinterpreted. ‘I mean…I didn’t mean…anyway. Yeah, I’ll come over once I’ve taken my foot out of my mouth,’ he chuckled.

  ‘Cool,’ I laughed. Was he nervous? Because of me? So cute if he was.

  As I strode back to my table, I felt the eyes of the women who had been swooning at Josh all morning burning into me. Too bad, I thought. If there was one thing that this challenge had taught me so far, it was that if you wanted something, you had to go for it.

  There was no doubt about it. I undeniably, unequivocally wanted Josh. And if he wanted me too, which I was finally starting to believe, then I was going to try and use every ounce of my growing confidence to make something happen.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Tonight was the night. The night I was going out with Josh. On a date.

  Yes.

  After exchanging several messages over the past twenty-four hours, I was feeling more confident that this was actually a date. I mean, I knew I’d been out of the game for a while, but I was pretty sure guys didn’t normally invite girls they considered just friends to Chez Pierre—the place that had been voted ‘Most Romantic Restaurant’ for three years in a row.

  We were due to meet at 7 p.m., so I’d shut down my computer at five to give myself enough time to get ready and into town, then put on the ‘Body Confident’ playlist I’d created. A bit of Lizzo, Pink, Meghan Trainor and Sasha would help me feel good.

  For once, I knew exactly what I was going to wear: a canary-yellow dress with a cute bow on one shoulder. When I’d originally bought it on my shopping trip with Chloe, I’d worried that it made my bum look big, but actually, now I quite liked the way it clung to my curves. It would be perfect for this evening.

  I’d already showered and put on my make-up, so all I needed to do was my hair. On my evenings off, rather than just scrolling through social media, I’d been watching YouTube videos with different hair tips, which had been really useful. I’d washed it last night, applied some gel, then used a technique I’d seen of styling it into two plaits, which I’d kept in all day, so my hair would be extra wavy when it was unravelled. It worked a treat.

  How was I feeling? Calm, actually. Excited, but surprisingly calm. Normally, I’d be bricking it. Overwhelmed with nerves. Don’t get me wrong, I still had butterflies, but I wasn’t worried about Josh not turning up or being late. Somehow I felt I could trust him. Like he wouldn’t let me down. And strangely enough, I wasn’t concerned about what we would talk about either. Rather than fretting, I just couldn’t wait to see him.

  I approached the restaurant and saw Josh standing outside. My heart began to flutter.

  ‘Wow!’ said Josh, his jaw dropping. ‘You look incredible!’

  He leant forward and gave me a kiss on each cheek. Gosh. He smelt so good. All woody and fresh like he’d just stepped out of the shower.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said, remembering this time to simply accept the compliment. ‘So do you.’

  The word incredible didn’t even begin to describe how he looked. Talk about scrubbing up like
a shiny penny. He was wearing a fitted white T-shirt under a black blazer, with smart black jeans and polished black boots. I’d noticed he wore black a lot. It suited him. Mind you, anything he wore probably would. His beard was perfectly shaped and his hair looked freshly trimmed. I wondered if he’d done it especially for tonight.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said, eyes still wide. Promising start. ‘Shall we go in?’

  ‘Yes, let’s,’ I replied.

  The interior was very dark and rustic, with floor-to-ceiling thick wooden beams and dimmed lighting. It was an intimate space. There couldn’t be more than a dozen tables here. They were all covered with bright white tablecloths, with candles and a single red rose in a vase in the centre. Nice. Right at the back in the corner there was a pianist, playing a love song that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t remember the name of it.

  As the waiter showed us to our table, Josh stepped ahead and pulled out the chair for me. What a gent. We both sat down.

  ‘So,’ I said. ‘This is lovely. Do you come here often?’ Oh gosh. I had to mess it up. You’d think I would have learnt from my faux pas at that disastrous first networking event. I must be more nervous than I thought. ‘Sorry, that came out wrong. Sounded like I was trying to come on to you.’

  ‘Why, Emily?’ teased Josh. ‘Are you?’

  ‘Now that would be telling…’ I smiled, deliberately not giving too much away. Phew. I’d managed to rescue myself. Now I just needed to keep it going.

  ‘Hmmm, I see. You’re keeping your cards close to your chest. Not that I’m looking at your chest, of course. Oh God. Me and my mouth!’ he said.

  Ha ha. Nice to know I wasn’t the only one who put their foot in it.

  ‘Wow! We haven’t even had a drink yet and already you’re checking out my boobs?’ They did look a little perkier in my new bra and this dress. Or maybe it was because I was starting to like them more. I crossed my arms and pretended to look angry. Josh cringed with embarrassment. ‘Gotcha!’ I laughed. ‘Don’t worry. I know the saying. I was only teasing!’