‘Really?’ he said. ‘You’ve listened to my music? You like my songs?’
‘I have, and I really do, Josh,’ I said, gazing into his eyes.
‘Wow!’ His face lit up. ‘Thanks. That means a lot. And, Em,’ he said, taking my hands in his and squeezing them tight, ‘I really am sorry I didn’t tell you before. It wasn’t done for malicious reasons or to be deliberately dishonest. It’s just, like I said, I didn’t want to jinx it, and these past few weeks have been so intense. Juggling work at Cuppa, writing and recording songs, preparing for these gigs, but wanting to see you at the same time.’
‘I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me anymore.’ I hung my head. ‘I thought once you’d slept with me, that was it.’
‘What?’ His brow furrowed. ‘Seriously? You can’t have thought that. Not after Thursday night. That was amazing. Wasn’t it?’
‘Well, I thought it was, but when you woke up, you couldn’t leave fast enough, and then I didn’t hear from you. No call, no text. Nothing.’
‘Oh shit. I’m so sorry. You know I’m not normally like that. I always call when I say I will. I just had so much to do. And that morning, I didn’t mean to rush off. It’s just that although I thought that maybe you wanted me to stay the night, I wasn’t sure, and I told myself that if something did happen, I’d reset my alarm for three-thirty to give myself enough time to get back and get everything prepared. But we had such a great time, the last thing I was thinking of was changing my alarm.’
‘But what did you need to leave at three-thirty for?’
‘To prepare for Paris.’
‘Paris?’ What the hell was he doing there?
‘Yeah. I did a gig there last night. And it was really tight, but when the opportunity came up at the last minute, it was too good to turn down. What I’d planned to do was to come home in the early hours and pack my guitar, laptop and stuff to bring with me, because as soon as I finished my shift at one-thirty, I had to go straight to St Pancras to catch the Eurostar by three. It was already a challenge, and because I was leaving work earlier than usual, I couldn’t turn up late for my shift as the boss was already pissed about me taking time off, which made it extra stressful.’
‘So when did you get back to London?’
‘I stayed over in Paris, but after the show I spent most of the night trying to do more work on a song on my laptop, then got the Eurostar this morning and slept the whole journey. Came back, finished a track, then started rehearsals for tonight. I literally haven’t stopped. That’s the only reason why I rushed off and haven’t called or messaged. Not because I didn’t want to be with you. I thought that was clear from the evening we spent together. Did that feel like a one-night stand to you?’
‘No, but—’
‘Em,’ he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. ‘Surely you must know what you mean to me. Did you hear that song tonight? “Rainbow”? I wrote that about you, after we got back from our first picnic. I felt so…so incredible. You made me feel incredible. The words just flowed onto the page.’
I still couldn’t get my head around it. I remembered him mentioning the word rainbow when he was at my place and saying how vibrant he thought my personality was, but never would I have thought he’d have written a song about me. Then again, I hadn’t even known he was a singer. Wow.
‘That’s…that’s so lovely, Josh,’ I said as a warm feeling shot through my body. ‘Thank you.’ I blushed.
‘No, thank you for inspiring me. Everything I say in that song is true. The fact that I feel so happy, so bright, so alive when I’m with you, and of course the fact that I’m madly in love with you.’
Is this a dream? Some sweet, wonderful fantasy? It must be. This is crazy.
‘You are?’ I know that’s what the song said, but afterwards I’d told myself not to jump to conclusions, as I couldn’t be sure he hadn’t just added those words to make it sound more romantic.
Wow. Wow. Wow. I’d fallen in love with Josh almost instantly, but never in my wildest dreams did I think he’d fallen for me so soon too. The millions of butterflies that had set up home in my stomach since Josh had come on the scene were jumping around like they were doing a Jive in the Strictly Come Dancing finals.
‘Yes! Completely and utterly. I wanted to tell you on Thursday night, but then I thought because we’d had sex, it might seem a bit, y’know? Disingenuous? Like I was just saying it because I was caught up in the moment. I wanted to wait until the right time, which of course is impossible to find. Didn’t quite plan for you to hear me first say those words in front of a room full of strangers…’ He chuckled. ‘But I love that song. I wanted to perform it because it’s all about you. Your gorgeous smile, the way you crinkle your nose when you taste something you don’t like, how naturally beautiful you look in the mornings when you’re all fresh-faced and your gorgeous curls just look so sexy, how comfortable I feel when I’m with you, the way you understood when I said I wasn’t ready to talk about my project…God, I love you so much.’
Josh pulled me into him, and as soon as his lips touched mine, I felt totally overcome. It was like I’d been swept up in a cyclone. A whirlwind of the warmest, fuzziest, happiest emotions. My stomach fluttered, my heart raced, my head spun relentlessly like a spinning top. Everything felt so light. So euphoric.
Josh loves me.
The man that I was crazy about, the man I loved, was crazy about me too. He accepted me as I am. My curls, my quirks, my habits, my hang-ups, my insecurities, my uniqueness. He saw them and he still loved me. All of me.
I’d loved Josh since, well…it sounds insane, but like I said, it was very early on. I’m convinced that I fell for him the night we went to the pub. Nuts. Of course I’d tried to suppress those feelings. I mean, come on: I barely knew him, so how could I even contemplate loving him? Especially given the bad experiences I’d had with men before. It made no sense. But the more time we spent together, the more obvious it became. When I was with Josh, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He made me feel high. And when I wasn’t with him, he was all I could think about. Maybe I was still blinded by the newness of love, but there wasn’t anything about him that I didn’t adore. Sounded soppy, but it was true.
I’d never have been brave enough to admit my feelings, though. Not without first knowing he felt the same way. Even though I was always so comfortable around Josh and he made me feel like my heart would be safe in his hands, part of me was still cautious. Sensitive. Bruised by the past. So like Josh, I’d been holding on. Waiting for the right moment to say those words. And that moment had undoubtedly come. The time was right.
‘I love you too, Josh,’ I said as our lips parted and my mind and body floated back down to earth. ‘With all my heart.’
And just like that it all made sense. I understood.
They say everything happens for a reason, and I could see that every single thing I had been through had led to this. All the pain I’d felt after being cheated on, the fear of dating again, hiding away inside my flat and pushing myself to accept Chloe’s challenge, had all been worthwhile because it had led me to this moment.
Led me to finding myself again.
Led me to finding Josh.
My true love.
My soulmate.
Chapter Twenty-Six
‘Congrats!’ said Chloe as we clinked glasses. ‘You did it!’
‘Thanks!’ I said, taking a sip of Buck’s Fizz, wondering if noon was too early to indulge in drinking alcohol on a Monday.
‘You are officially the first graduate of the G.O.O.T.H slash G.E.T.H.O.O.T.H challenge.’
I tried to work out what she meant. Nope. Far too many letters.
‘Gooth? What?’ I frowned.
‘Yes. Get out of the House, or Get Em the Hell out of the House,’ she cackled.
‘That’s what you called it?’
‘No, not really!’ said Chloe. ‘I just made that up. Although technically you live in a flat and not a house, but it does have a certain
ring to it, though, don’t you think?’ She winked.
‘Funny. And also rude,’ I chuckled.
‘It’s true, though. After that whole Eric debacle, I was worried that if I didn’t take drastic action, you’d never see daylight again!’
She had a point. I might have still been in bed now feeling sorry for myself. Wasn’t it funny how life was? Something bad happens and at the time, you just can’t see a way past it.
‘I was pretty low, wasn’t I?’
‘Er, yes! But let’s forget about all that. You’ve moved on from that todger and being permanently attached to your phone screen.’
‘Yeah, thank God.’ I winced, remembering that morning Chloe had found me sobbing on my bed.
‘So tell me: after two months of living in real life and getting out of your four walls, how are you feeling?’
‘Bloody amazing!’ I gushed. ‘And I know you’re probably going to spend the next couple of hours gloating, bathing in a river of I told you sos and swimming in a sea of self-praise, but do you know what? I don’t care, because I’m woman enough to admit that you were right.’
‘I was what?’ said Chloe, clutching her ear.
‘I said, you were…you heard what I said, Chloe.’ I took another swig of my Buck’s Fizz. ‘I know I said I’d admit it, but let’s not milk it!’
‘I’m only teasing! Yes, I could sit here feeling smug, but my pleasure right now comes not from knowing that I was right to set you the challenge, which of course I was—sorry, couldn’t resist one self-plug!—no, like I said, it doesn’t come from that. It comes from seeing you so ridiculously happy. I mean, look at you! If I got a scrubbing brush the size of America, I still wouldn’t be able to wipe that enormous smile off your face. You’re glowing. Everything. Your eyes, your skin…it’s like the entire IKEA lighting department has just been switched on inside your face. It’s ridiculous! Ridiculously brilliant. I love it!’
‘I know,’ I said, my grin widening. ‘I can’t help it…’
‘Love will do that to you,’ said Chloe. ‘And the fact that you’ve now discovered Josh is some hunky musician who’s written a truckload of songs about you being the bee’s knees has got to help.’
She wasn’t wrong. Never in my wildest dreams had I felt like this level of happiness was even possible. I remembered sitting in my bedroom so many times listening to Spotify and thinking how wonderful it would be if someone adored me enough to declare their undying love for me in a song. But that was just fairy-tale stuff. Not something I’d ever really expected to happen in real life. It was nuts.
‘Yeah, it is an incredible feeling. I still can’t quite get my head round it all. And him singing to me, actually serenading me, is a whole new level of awesomeness. It’s like being a queen. He makes me feel like I’m the most special person in the whole world. Not to mention the fact that it’s a real turn-on…’
‘I bet! Sounds like as well as giving you a tour of his house last night, he also put on quite a performance…’
‘He certainly did,’ I said, reminiscing about the memorable encounter on his studio chair.
After Josh and I had finished talking and ‘making up’ at my flat in the early hours of Sunday morning, he’d suggested that I visit his house that afternoon so that he could show me the home studio he had built using the money he’d saved from his job as a lawyer and get more of an insight into what he did when he locked himself away in there. Not that I had anything to compare it to, but it looked very impressive. There were loads of different instruments—his keyboard, multiple guitars, drums, laptops, microphones, headphones and other technical-looking equipment with all kinds of dials and knobs.
Josh had kitted his studio out nicely. In fact, his whole house was lovely. It was a Victorian property with large rooms. All simple in terms of style. Lots of modern art on the walls, but not much furniture. He had a neutral colour scheme and original wooden flooring throughout. He’d said he’d like me to paint a mural in the studio and in the bedroom, so I promised to start thinking of some ideas.
In the bedroom, the flooring had been painted white and there was a silver/grey colour scheme. Mmm. Such a gorgeous bedroom too. It had a big, strong king-size iron bed with a thick silver faux fur throw at the bottom. At least that’s where it was when we started…I enjoyed my time there. Almost as much as the impromptu experience that happened after Josh serenaded me…
‘Thinking about the studio escapade again, are you?’ said Chloe.
How does she always see inside my mind? It’s so annoying.
‘Maybe…’ I smiled.
‘And all the buttons he was pushing?’
‘Stop!’ I laughed.
‘I’m sure that wasn’t what you were saying to Josh!’ she cackled. ‘More like don’t stop!’
‘Why oh why did I tell you about that?’ I rolled my eyes.
‘Because I’m your best friend!’
‘Me and my mouth. I must learn not to tell you anything about my bedroom activities in future…’
‘But it happened in the studio, so it doesn’t count!’ said Chloe.
She didn’t miss a trick, that one. Always teasing me.
‘Anyway’—I rolled my eyes again—‘back to talking about my completion of your challenge! So that’s it. Two months of activities done and dusted. Here,’ I said, reaching into my bag and taking out a shiny new polka dot notepad. ‘I’m guessing you used up a lot of pages in the one you have for the challenge, so I thought you might need a new one.’
‘Oh, Em! It’s beautiful. You didn’t have to get me anything.’
‘It’s nothing. Thank you for forcing—I mean, encouraging me to do the challenge.’
‘You’re welcome. I’m just pleased it worked. That you got off your phone and back out into the real world, trying new things, meeting new people, making new friends, and of course finding love offline. Now I must admit, I wasn’t quite expecting you to meet such a gem of a man too. Especially not that quickly. I thought by the end of the challenge, maybe you’d start courting someone, you know, through just doing things that you enjoyed rather than consciously looking for someone. I thought this would just be a way to get you started. Josh was an unexpected cherry on top.’
‘Definitely. And the funny thing was, I didn’t even meet him at any of the activities you organised. He ended up being right here in front of me, working just a stone’s throw away from my front door. I found a man who’s into art and loves music like me. We have so much in common. It’s amazing. What are the chances?’
‘Some things are just meant to be!’ She grinned. ‘You just have to believe and put yourself into the path of opportunity. In fact, what am I saying, doubting my matchmaking and predictive love skills?’ Chloe folded her arms. ‘Now that I think about it, I did kind of predict it.’
‘Really?’ I rested my finger on my chin. ‘I don’t remember you getting out your crystal ball and saying that you saw a barista or a musician in my future?’
‘No, I didn’t explicitly. But when I said you wouldn’t meet anyone if you were stuck inside all the time, you scoffed and said something like “well, I’m not going to meet anyone walking to this coffee shop, am I?” and I said that you didn’t know that for sure. Ringing any bells?’
Hmmm. Now that I thought about it, I think I remembered her saying something like that. Typical. Why did she always have to be right?
‘Okay, Mrs Clairvoyant. Maybe you should buy us both a lottery ticket.’
‘If only I could predict the winning numbers. Then we’d be having a champagne brunch at the Ritz rather than drinking cheap Buck’s Fizz at the local pub.’
‘Well, I thought it would be better to come here than go to Cuppa. For the purposes of conversation at least.’
‘Too right! I wouldn’t be able to get two words out of you if we’d gone there. You’d be too busy swooning over Josh or disappearing outside to grope each other or something. Surprised he even made it into work this morning.’
&nbs
p; Mmm…now there’s a thought.
As much as I loved Chloe, the idea of being with Josh right now was certainly appealing. We’d only been apart for a couple of hours and I was already missing him.
‘That’s Josh. He’d never pull a sickie. He wouldn’t want to let them down. Even though he started at eleven today, rather than at the crack of dawn like he normally does, it was still a struggle to prise ourselves apart.’
‘Thought as much, hence you pushing our Monday morning catch up to lunchtime. Go for it, girl. You deserve this happiness. I know I tease you, but it’s all love. I really am chuffed to bits for you, Em.’ She reached over to give me a hug.
‘Thanks, Chloe,’ I said, giving her a big squeeze.
‘You’re welcome, sweetheart. It wasn’t so bad, was it? Living life offline? When Archie heard about the challenge, he said I was evil. That twenty-four-hour access to social media was a basic human right. When I said I’d send him to a summer camp with no internet access for a month, he soon changed his tune…’
‘I bet he did!’ I laughed. ‘Teenagers wouldn’t be able to function without Wi-Fi. I admit, it was really hard at first. I’d become so addicted without even realising it. But as time went on, the easier it became. I do still look at social media occasionally, but it’s more of an afterthought. Something I do if I have a spare two minutes, whereas before I used to check Instagram, Facebook, Twitter religiously as soon as I woke up in the morning, multiple times throughout the day and always last thing at night. My life revolved around it. I’d get severe FOMO if I hadn’t checked my feeds for more than a couple of hours. Not anymore, though.’
‘And do you miss it? Have that fear of missing out? Bet you thought I wouldn’t know what FOMO meant, eh?’ She chuckled.
‘Very good. Well done!’ I laughed. ‘Your kids taught you well! To answer your question, no, I really don’t. In fact, hold on,’ I said, reaching into my bag for my phone.
‘You’re not checking social media now, are you?’
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