Canticle to the Midnight Moon

by Val St. Crowe

  “No,” he said. “It shouldn’t. And I know it’s not the same thing, but the way you and Judah are mated but not together, I think it’s really progressive.”

  “It was just the way things had to be,” I said. “Judah was in love with another woman. He and I were never going to bond. You can’t choose who you love.”

  “Exactly,” said Wailan.

  My shoulders slumped. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have come to see you about this.”

  Wailan spread his hands. “Look, I’m not angry.”

  “No, this is stupid. I can’t believe I did this. I was convinced to mate with Judah before I knew if it was a good idea or not. I’m not going to pressure anyone else to mate with anyone else, even if it’s just a symbolic mating and not a mystical mating. That’s not who I am.”

  “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t be pressured into anything anyway,” he said. “That’s not who I am.”

  I gave him a wan smile. “Thank you for showing me that I was doing something out of character.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said. “And thank you for being big enough to admit you were wrong and change your mind. Listen, if you want Aston in the pack, can’t you just decree it? You’re the alpha.”

  “The council is annoyed with me right now,” I said.

  “So, ask Judah to decree it, then,” said Wailan.

  I considered. As an idea, it had possibilities.

  * * *

  “Okay, wait, why would I do this?” said Judah. He was kneeling on the porch of his cabin, working on fixing the chains that held up his porch swing.

  “Yeah,” said Tempest, who was sitting on a chair on the porch. “Why would he do this?”

  I was standing on the steps. “As a favor to me.”

  “He doesn’t owe you,” said Tempest.

  “I made it so that he got to keep you, the love of his life, so maybe he does,” I said coolly.

  “Oh, fur and teeth, she can’t keep throwing that in your face, baby,” said Tempest. “You can tell her to leave. You don’t have to listen to her.”

  “Look,” I said, “maybe you should let Judah speak for himself, because you are not his mouthpiece just because the two of you are screwing.”

  “This is about your bloodhound, isn’t it?” said Tempest. “That’s the only reason you could want that Aston person part of the pack.”

  “Hey.” Judah straightened, abandoning the swing for the moment. “Can’t you two play nice?”

  Both Tempest and I looked each other over. Neither of us said anything, but the answer was pretty clear. No.

  I squared my shoulders. “I don’t have anything against you, Tempest. I’m not competition for Judah. I’m no threat to you. I don’t know why you’re so hostile to me.”

  “You’re the one who’s hostile,” she said.

  “Okay, maybe just stop?” said Judah, putting his hands up.

  I glowered at Tempest.

  She sneered at me.

  Judah turned to me. “Is this about Landon?”

  “It’s about safety,” I said. “Landon still has the rage mode. It could get triggered accidentally. He’s in control, but if he ever wasn’t, it could be disastrous.”

  Judah looked alarmed. “You know, this is something we should have discussed before you mated to him, because for the life of me, I can’t believe no one thought of this. You guys are in a cabin together? Are you sharing a bed?”

  “Aston may be able to get rid of the rage mode entirely,” I said.

  “And he wants to trade that for a spot in the pack?”

  “No, I just want him in the pack, no questions asked. And then there won’t be pressure on him making the cure.”

  “Well, we need that cure,” said Judah. “We need it, because you’re right, the pack isn’t safe. And I think Aston needs the motivation to make sure he delivers a cure.”

  “Judah…”

  “You tell Aston that if he makes the cure, then he’s in. Not before,” said Judah.

  “That’s… No, see, if he rushes to make the cure, then he might screw it up—”

  “And you and your bloodhound should be sleeping separately,” said Tempest. “He should have his own cabin. We don’t know if he’ll climb into bed with you and then go on a rampage.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” I said.

  “I don’t know, she has a point,” said Judah, looking up at Tempest.

  “I’m not kicking him out of my cabin,” I said, and I turned on my heel and stalked down Judah’s steps.

  * * *

  “Look, I tried,” I was saying to Landon. “But now Judah’s doubling down on the idea that Aston has to make a cure, and he’s going to the council about it. They’re all freaked out about us sleeping in the same cabin. I told them it was stupid—”

  “No, it probably makes sense,” said Landon. “You have your own cabin. I’ll stay in this big one.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “Because if Aston can’t make a cure, that sets a precedent, and then we can never live together again, and I want you close.”

  “But it is a risk,” said Landon.

  “One I decided I was willing to take.”

  “Well, I don’t know if I’m willing to take it.”

  “You have,” I said. “We’ve been sleeping in the same damned bed.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “If I’m in wolf form, there’s no danger. We’ll tell the council that.” I grimaced. I hated that the council was always sticking its nose in my personal love life.

  Landon didn’t say anything.

  “What?” I said. “You’re not turned on by me in wolf form, are you?”

  “No,” he said. “But… I mean… I’m in this form all the time, and you…”

  “That’s different.”

  “If you let Neil Brightcoat get talking about this, fangs only know what he’ll say.”

  I grimaced. “This is a disaster. Why did I ever go to Judah? You know what? It’s Tempest. It’s her fault—”

  “It’s understandable,” said Landon. “I get it. Of course, they’re freaked out. They have every reason to be freaked out. It’s going to be fine.”

  “How is it going to be fine?”

  “We’ll… we don’t have to sleep in the same bed or even the same cabin,” said Landon. “It doesn’t change anything. We’re still mated. We still belong to each other. No one can take that away from us.”

  “I know, but it’s not the same.”

  Landon pulled me into a hug, and I clung to him.

  We were quiet.

  A sound. A throat clearing.

  We broke apart to see Desta on the other side of the room. “Um, sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, going to her. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine,” said Desta. “I’m completely healed. I was fine yesterday, but I was dragging my feet.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Right.”

  Landon looked confused.

  “Camber didn’t tell you?” said Desta.

  “Uh, we don’t really talk about you,” I said. “I mean, unless you’re in danger, and I need him to help me save you.”

  “Right,” said Desta.

  “You can tell me things,” said Landon. “These days, I really only hate your sister a little bit.”

  I sighed, shaking my head.

  “I’ve decided,” said Desta. “I’m going with Viggo.”

  Landon let out a bark of a laugh.

  “Landon,” I said in a warning voice.

  “No, what?” he said. “It’s fine. It’s great, in fact. You know, I always thought, Desta, that you went on a little bit too much and too long about how horrible it was that he paid you so much attention. I mean, years of you saying that he was the worst kind of monster—”

  “Stop it,” said Desta. “You don’t get to judge me. You don’t get anything. You’re the one who says there was never anything between you and me, so st
op pretending—”

  “Fine,” said Landon. “You’re right. It’s none of my business. You two deserve each other, anyway.” He left the room, letting the door crash behind him.

  “Hell,” I whispered.

  Desta cringed. “I shouldn’t have said anything in front of him. Viggo turned him into a bloodhound. Viggo ruined his life. And I helped, and I hated Viggo for that, but now…”

  “Hey.” I gave her a hug. “I said I would support you, and I do.”

  “But you hate Viggo too.”

  “And Landon hates you,” I said. “And Viggo hates Landon. And… I don’t know, it’s never going to be all smoothed over and pretty between us. All that pain isn’t just going to go away.”

  “But I hurt Landon,” she said. “I did so many awful things to him, and—”

  “And you’ve done what you could to make it up to him,” I said. “It’s his choice to hang onto it. Look, we all make mistakes, Desta. But just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean we don’t deserve happiness ever again. You think Viggo’s going to make you happy, and I think you have to go for it. You’ve had too much misery in your life. This could be good, and it’s what you want.”

  She took a shuddering breath. “Well, look, I don’t think I can take you sniping at Viggo when I leave, so do you mind not seeing me off?”

  I smiled. “I don’t mind not seeing him at all.”

  “I’ll keep in touch,” she said. “We have phones.”

  “Wait, when are you leaving?”

  “Your pack wants me gone. Your mate hates my guts. I want to go now.”

  “Now?”

  She nodded.

  I sighed. “Okay, okay. I guess I get it.” I hugged her again. Hard. “I’m really going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too,” she said. “I love you, little sis.”

  “I love you,” I said, and I squeezed her tighter.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  After Desta left, I went looking for Landon. I found him pretty easily, because I could sense him through our bond when I keyed into it. Surprisingly, he was at Judah’s place. Not inside, but out in the front lawn.

  The two men were talking, but they were staring at a shrub in the front yard instead of each other.

  I approached, trying to make out what they were saying.

  But Judah sensed me through our mating bond, and he looked up at me. “Camber. Hey.”

  “Hey,” I said. I closed the distance between us. “I didn’t expect the two of you to be…” I groped for a word.

  “I was explaining to him about how you sleep in wolf form,” said Landon. “I was explaining that it was safe. Or I was trying to, anyway.”

  “It was an awkward conversation,” said Judah. “We don’t need to get into…”

  “No,” I said. “We definitely don’t.”

  “Hey,” said Judah, “you know I’m happy for you guys, right? Like, I have no weird boundary things with, um, with this? I mean, it’s kind of weird, though. You have to admit it’s weird.”

  “It’s weird,” I said.

  “I’m sorry about Tempest,” said Judah. “She’s not always like that, you know?”

  “I figured there must be another side to her,” I said. “Considering you’re so head over heels.”

  “She thinks you’re cold and commanding and bossy and stuff,” said Judah. “I told her you weren’t like that at all, but it’s the only way she ever sees you. Anyway, when I defend you, it’s like… it doesn’t go over well with her.”

  “We don’t all have to get along,” I said. “That’s not real life.”

  Judah nodded. “Good point.” He clapped a hand on Landon’s shoulder. “Well, Landon and me? We’re fine.”

  “No issues,” said Landon, grinning at me. “Judah and I are great.”

  I nodded.

  “And I won’t say anything to the council about rage mode,” said Judah. “Landon has, uh, made me understand how it, um, works.”

  “Totally awkward conversation,” said Landon.

  “Yeah, we’re very close now,” said Judah. “Just incredibly intimate, the knowledge…”

  Landon laughed.

  Judah laughed.

  I only shook my head at them. This was weird.

  “Just, you know, be safe, you crazy kids,” said Judah, still laughing.

  “Will do,” said Landon. He gave Judah a mock salute. “See you later.”

  “Yeah, have a great night,” said Judah.

  Landon took me by the arm and led me away.

  I looked over my shoulder at Judah and then up at him. “Why did you…? You said that it didn’t matter, and they couldn’t take anything away from us.”

  “Yeah…” said Landon. “But then I yelled at your sister and I stomped out of the house like a little bitch and… I wanted to try to do something that would make you hate me less.”

  “I don’t hate you, Landon.” I licked my lips. “Well, it was a little strange that you blew up at Desta when she finally decided to be with another guy. All this time she’s been single, and there is weird history, and if I were a jealous type—”

  “But you’re not, because that would be insane.” He gave me a too-wide smile. “Right? You know that, right?”

  “I think I know that.”

  “Look, it wasn’t upsetting because of that. I’m not jealous. I don’t and never did have any feelings for your sister. You know, except rage and hatred.” He sighed heavily. “Fang it. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I know, and I promised you never would have to.”

  “I should explain?”

  “No,” I said. “I get it. Viggo’s awful. She hurt you. Now, they’re going to be happy together. Why should they be happy?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, especially when we can’t even kiss, for fang’s sake. Like, they did this to me, they stole from us. And then they just what? Ride off into the sunset? What kind of screwed-up story is this?”

  I wrapped my arm around his arm, burrowing my fingers into his fur. “As I remember you telling me once, we’re totally heading for a fairy tale ending.”

  He snorted.

  “It is kind of a fairy tale story for a girl to fall for a beastman, you have to admit.”

  “Ah, if only I were a secret prince,” he said. “With a castle, lots of money, and a bunch of enspelled servants.”

  “If only,” I said. “We’ll just have to make do with our cabin in the woods.”

  He kissed the top of my head.

  I shut my eyes and held onto him.

  * * *

  “I have rats,” said Aston, showing me. “I turned them all into bloodhound rats.”

  “Yeah, I can see that,” I said, looking at the mutated super rats in the cages. They all had huge muscles and sharp teeth and yellow eyes. They were insanely creepy.

  “So, I’ve been working on various ideas for removing the rage mode,” said Aston. “I can make a bloodhound without rage mode, of course, but that doesn’t really help us. We need to get the rage mode out of Landon.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And Judah came by. He wants me to do this really bad. He’s afraid that Landon is going to get an eyeful of you in the shower or something and then tear apart the whole village.”

  “Judah talked to you?” I cringed. “Sorry, I really didn’t mean for him to do that. I thought, when I told him about this, that he’d help me make you part of the pack. But he decided that it had to be conditional.”

  Aston arched an eyebrow. “You were just going to make me pack, no questions asked?”

  “I was,” I said. “Landon and I figured that it would be better not to put pressure on you to make this rage mode cure. We don’t want you to rush it or anything.”

  Aston waved this away. “I thrive under pressure. Don’t worry. I’ll make it happen.” He gave me a little smile. “Thanks for, you know, wanting me.”

  I didn’t really want him, but it probably wasn’t a nic
e thing to say that, so I just smiled back. Besides, Aston wasn’t all bad. He was useful, anyway.

  “Anyway,” said Aston, “about the rats?”

  “Right,” I said. “How’s that coming along?”

  “Good,” he said. “These guys I call my T-7000 series, because I gave them an injection of teraminservin at seven thousand milligrams. And these guys are the Y-500 series, because—”

  “Look, I don’t understand what any of that means,” I said.

  “Oh, of course.” He stroked his chin. “So, basically, I have a few different theories I’m testing out. The next step is to try to induce rage mode. I didn’t have access to chips to insert into the rats’ minds, so I’ve just been trying to get them to, you know, mate with female rats.”

  “And?”

  “And, so far, no dice. I stick the girl rats in there, nothing happens. It’s not an exact science, you know. I was thinking of experimenting with some pheromones, but I’d need to synthesize them, and—”

  “Well, they’re not raging out, so that’s good?”

  “True,” said Aston. “But they’re also not showing any mating behavior. Now, it’s possible with the M-600 series that I’ve chemically castrated them if I got the dosage wrong—”

  “Don’t chemically castrate anyone!”

  Aston chuckled. “Don’t worry. I get that you want your bloodhound functional down there.”

  I rubbed my forehead. “Just don’t… damage him, okay?”

  “I doubt Judah would care, though,” said Aston.

  “Well, Judah and the whole pack rely on my bond to keep the protection spell strong,” I said. “Damaging Landon could damage the spell. You tell him that if he asks you to do anything awful to Landon.”

  “He didn’t,” said Aston. “Don’t worry. Geez, you’re jumpy about this.”

  “Yeah, of course I am,” I said. “I don’t want anything to happen to Landon. Haven’t you ever, you know, cared about someone so much that you didn’t want them to be hurt?”

  “Sure,” said Aston mildly. “Sure thing. Seriously, you need to relax, Camber. I get it.”

  I wasn’t certain that he did get it.

  “What will be really interesting to see,” said Aston, “is if any of these rats can effectively mate with the female rats and if they’ll be able to produce offspring. I didn’t engineer any changes to the DNA of the bloods’ sperm, so they should be able to impregnate their partners.”