Zom-B Gladiator

by Darren Shan

  The children mumble a frightened hello. One is a boy, the other a girl. Neither is more than seven or eight years old. They’re dressed in sailor suits similar to Dan-Dan’s. The boy looks like he’s been crying. The girl’s eyes are dry but she’s clearly scared. Both are trembling.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Barnes asks sharply.

  ‘Surely you must have heard the rumours back in the day about the child-killer Daniel Wood?’ Justin chuckles.

  ‘Children had a habit of meeting with an unfortunate end whenever Daniel came to town,’ Vicky trills. ‘He was such a naughty little boy.’

  ‘My darlings,’ Dan-Dan beams, hugging the children. ‘They keep me company. I have nightmares when I’m by myself. My playmates help me keep body and soul together.’

  ‘The trouble is, Daniel plays rough,’ Lady Jemima notes, smiling cynically.

  ‘He kills each child in the end, when he grows bored of them,’ Justin grunts.

  ‘Allegedly,’ Lord Luca beams. ‘Nothing was ever proven in a court of law. Why, he was never even prosecuted.’

  Vicky Wedge winks at me. ‘The advantage of having an unholy amount of money, and associates like me in high places.’

  ‘You never told me any of this before,’ Barnes snaps.

  ‘Why should we?’ Justin yawns. ‘You’re hired help.’ He turns his attention to me. ‘Now, Becky Smith, you might not care about the dead, but what about the living? Will you fight or does Daniel have to start squeezing?’

  Dan-Dan slides his arms up and locks them round the children’s throats. The girl begins to cry. Dan-Dan smiles darkly.

  ‘It’s always sad when I have to bid a darling goodbye,’ he croaks. ‘I miss each and every one. I used to keep a list of their names, but it grew so long . . .’

  ‘You won’t do it,’ I say weakly.

  ‘As I already told you, we never bluff,’ The Prince murmurs but he sounds ashamed of his boast.

  ‘Stop,’ Barnes shouts. ‘This is sick. I won’t stand by and let you –’

  ‘You will do what you’re told!’ Vicky Wedge screeches and aims her gun at him. Lord Luca, Lady Jemima and The Prince draw weapons too. Coley curses and darts behind Barnes.

  ‘Don’t shoot!’ Coley cries. ‘I’m on your side!’

  Barnes stands firm, eyes filled with fury and contempt.

  Justin gazes serenely at Barnes. ‘There’s no need for the guns,’ he says to the others. ‘Our man Barnes is smarter than that. He knows there are guards outside. They are armed and he is not. If he threatened us, they would execute him. The children too.’

  ‘This is wrong,’ Barnes snarls. ‘You can’t use innocent children this way.’

  ‘Of course we can,’ Justin snorts. ‘We make the laws. We can do anything we want.’

  ‘If it’s any comfort to you, they’re orphans,’ Lady Jemima says. ‘We have them delivered from camps. We only pick those who have no one to worry about them. We’re not complete monsters.’

  ‘You always did have a soft heart, my lovely,’ Justin murmurs and turns his back on the glaring but impotent Barnes. ‘We’re waiting for your answer, Becky.’

  ‘He’s going to kill them in the end anyway,’ I say softly.

  ‘Probably,’ Justin nods. ‘But there’s always a chance that he will take pity on these two. Or they might escape.’

  ‘Oh, they never escape,’ Dan-Dan whispers.

  ‘There are others,’ Lord Luca says.

  ‘Fourteen or fifteen the last time I checked,’ Vicky purrs.

  ‘If you don’t please us, he’ll kill this pair and fetch replacements,’ The Prince adds glumly.

  ‘He can be very petulant when he doesn’t get his way,’ Lady Jemima concludes.

  Both children are trying to tear free of Dan-Dan’s grip. They’re old enough to know what’s going on. Dan-Dan is sweating with delight, his muscles bulging. I think he wants me to defy him, so that he can kill openly, like a disgusting, spoilt brat who wants to show off his latest vile habit.

  ‘If I do this,’ I say hollowly, ‘I want to see the children every day, the whole group, so I can be sure that he hasn’t killed any of them.’

  ‘Hold on a minute,’ Dan-Dan yaps. ‘You’re in no position to make demands.’

  ‘Yes she is,’ Justin overrides him. ‘Agreed.’

  ‘No!’ Dan-Dan howls. ‘They’re mine. I’ll do what I want with them.’

  ‘Not under my watch,’ Justin says, features darken-ing.‘This isn’t a democracy. The girl is something new, something different. If you have to stop killing for a few weeks or months, to entice her to play ball, so be it. You’re not going to spoil things for the rest of us.’

  ‘Luca . . .’ Dan-Dan whines, looking to his brother for support.

  Lord Luca shrugs. ‘I’m with Justin this time. I’m bored of the same old pathetic show, humans failing miserably every time we stick them in with the undead. I crave savage duels, heated action, true drama. If the girl has a reason to battle on – if she’s fighting for others, not just herself – it will be all the more interesting.’

  ‘You can have your darlings eventually,’ Vicky says soothingly. ‘We’re not taking them away from you forever. You just need to be patient.’

  ‘Oh, very well,’ Dan-Dan pouts, releasing the children and pushing them aside. ‘But I won’t forget this. The next time one of you asks for a favour, don’t expect me to jump.’

  The Prince gathers the children from Dan-Dan and escorts them to the door, where he passes them to a guard who takes them back to their quarters.

  ‘You can leave as well if you wish,’ Justin says to Barnes. ‘I won’t make you watch if it offends you. This was meant to be a reward for services rendered, not a punishment.’

  Barnes studies the businessman, stares at the open doorway, then looks back at me and shrugs. ‘I was only worried about the kids. Now that we’ve dealt with that issue, I’m keen to stick around.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Justin beams. ‘Becky, can you agitate them by yourself or do you need some help?’

  ‘I’ve got it,’ I mutter, flexing my fingers and preparing for battle.

  I let my gaze linger on the undead men and woman for a moment, then stare glumly at the teenage boy. They’re all standing with their backs to me, trying to gouge through the glass, unaware of the threat behind them. It would be easy to step up and drive my hands through their skulls, kill them all before they could react. But that wouldn’t satisfy the bloodthirsty members of the Board. They want action and excitement, and it’s my job to deliver that for them.

  ‘Mum would be proud,’ I snort. ‘She always wanted me to go into showbiz.’ Then, to cheers of encouragement from the inhuman humans, I sweep forward and attack.

  I grab the collars of the men’s shirts and haul them away from the glass. I kick the boy in the chest and send him sprawling. I slap the woman’s face.

  The zombies snarl and regroup. They stare at me, sniffing the air. They know I’m undead, so they’re not sure why I’ve assaulted them. Zombies don’t turn on one another. They find the peaceful unity in death that is so rare in life.

  ‘Come on,’ I growl, crooking my fingers at them. ‘I’m not as dead as I look.’

  They hiss and move closer, then stall and stare again. They can tell I’m not the same as them – no regular zombie can talk – but I’m more like them than the humans. They’re reluctant to strike, seeing me as one of their own.

  ‘Don’t just stand there,’ Dan-Dan calls, banging his fist on the glass. ‘Make them angry.’

  I give him the finger, then dart forward. I kick the boy in the chest again and scratch the cheek of the nearest man. He instinctively throws a fist at me. I block it and punch him hard in the stomach.

  The woman in the chef’s outfit grabs my head and shakes it, pulling me away from the men. The boy leaps at me, growling like a dog. I kick him between the legs. Because he’s naked, I have a clear shot. Every guy on the other side of the glass gasps and cringes. T
hen they cheer and clap.

  I shrug off the woman and race towards a nearby pole. The men follow. I jump into the air, grab the pole and whirl around. I stick my legs out and my right foot connects with one of the men’s jaw. His head snaps back and he staggers away.

  ‘Oh, nice shot,’ The Prince applauds. ‘We never saw any of the others execute a move like that.’

  ‘It’s like watching a wrestling match,’ Lady Jemima cackles.

  ‘Only the result isn’t fixed,’ Justin laughs.

  I tune out the babbling members of the Board and stay focused. Any one of these zombies could slice my skull open. I can’t afford to get cocky.

  The boy shambles towards me, still grimacing from the kick between his legs. I hate doing this to him, but the shot is there to be taken, so I swing my foot back, then kick him square in the nuts again.

  ‘Unbelievable!’ Lord Luca hoots.

  ‘He’ll be a eunuch by the end of this,’ Vicky Wedge sniggers.

  ‘It’s bringing tears to my eyes,’ Dan-Dan squeals, crossing his hands in front of his groin.

  One of the men tackles me from behind and locks his arms across my chest. The other man charges me from the front. I lift my legs, clasp them around his neck in a scissor motion and snap it. He groans and wheels away, tugging at his head, trying to set it straight.

  The man behind me squeezes, but there’s no air in my lungs, so he doesn’t do much damage. While he’s trying to suffocate me, I twist my body the way I was trained by Master Zhang and throw him over my shoulder. He lands heavily in front of me. I make a blade of my fingers and drive my right hand through the centre of his forehead. He cries out, shudders, then falls still. I withdraw my hand and wipe it across his hair, cleaning my flesh of bits of the dead man’s brain.

  The woman slashes at me with the bones sticking out of her fingers. I block them with my own fingerbones, then jab at her eyes, forcing her back.

  The boy lurches at me from the other side. He still hasn’t properly protected his crown jewels, but I’m not able to find the angle to kick him a third time. He grabs me and digs his teeth into my left hip, tearing through my trousers, into the flesh.

  I wince and club the boy over the head. His skull snaps and some of the flesh tears open. I spot brain and swiftly dig in, finishing him off. After the blows to his wedding tackle, I think death comes as a relative blessing.

  The woman hurls herself at me, shrieking. For all I know, she was the boy’s mother in life. Not that I think that factors into things now. She only wants to kill the beast who is threatening her. Zombies can’t feel love, pity or affection. But they can feel fear. How unfair is that?

  I shimmy out of the woman’s way, slip in behind and get her in a stranglehold. She struggles furiously, but I was taught how to keep my grip tight. As she reels around the room with me on her back, I bare my fangs and bite into her skull. I chew loose a chunk of flesh and bone, and spit it out. I bite again. The woman mewls and shudders. After I tear away another chunk, there’s enough space for me to jam in my chin, like a pig sticking its snout into a trough. I munch, rip and saw.

  Seconds later the woman collapses beneath me and I push myself to my feet, spitting out brain. The brains of the undead do nothing for me. The taste is vile, nothing like the juicy, enticing brains of the living.

  The only one left is the man with the broken neck. He doesn’t provide much resistance. He’s still trying to repair the damage to his spinal cord. I simply have to pad up behind him and crack his head open.

  I step away from the last of the corpses and gaze at my handiwork. Four dead zombies, in addition to the one Vicky killed. It probably didn’t take me more than a couple of minutes to fell them.

  The members of the Board are cheering warmly. I glance at them numbly, blood on my hands, brains dribbling from my lips. The Prince winks at me. Lord Luca gives me the thumbs up. Justin claps louder than the others and shouts over the noise, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, a gladiator is born!’

  The nightmare begins for real.

  It’s been a week or more since I wound up in the clutches of the Board. A week of almost non-stop fighting, with rests only to allow my captors to sleep, eat and indulge in their other pastimes.

  When I’m not needed, I’m kept in a room near the fore of the cruiser, in what used to be known as a mess. A few hammocks are slung across it. I lie in one of those when I’m relaxing, sometimes for hours without moving, staring at the ceiling with my unblinking eyes, trying to think of a way out of this horror show.

  In an ideal world I’d kill the creeps of the Board, free the children and slip away into the night. Since I’m unlikely to score on all three fronts, I’d settle for murdering the manipulative monsters who think they’re superior to the rest of us.

  But there’s not much chance of that. They keep themselves separate. I usually only see them in the converted dining hall when they want me to kill. And then they’re always safe behind their wall of glass. Many of my opponents have tried to smash through that wall. I’ve even thrown a few of them at it with all my strength while fighting, to test it. Not so much as a crack. It’s tough as steel.

  The battles have drained me. Zombies are more resilient than humans, but we’re not inexhaustible. We wear down. I’ve fought four or five times most days, usually against a handful of opponents, but sometimes as many as eight. I’m not stronger than those I’ve come up against, but I’m sharper. I can outwit and outmanoeuvre them.

  Even so, I’ve suffered my share of injuries. I’ve broken several bones. My neck and chest have been slashed, chunks bitten out of my arms and legs. A couple of teeth were smashed from my gums—that really hurt and still does.

  Justin spoke of keeping me on for months when I first arrived, but I’ll be lucky to last a fortnight, maybe a bit longer if they reduce the number of daily bouts. I’m a short-term project for them.

  I wasn’t going to tell them that I need brains to function, that I’ll regress if I don’t eat. But they know that zombies need to feed to stay sharp, so they supplied me with brains without my having to ask for them, a couple of days after I’d fallen into their foul clutches. Coley delivered the first batch.

  ‘Barnes and I rustled these up from corpses on the streets,’ he told me. ‘Not my idea of a good time, but anything to please our lords and ladies.’

  ‘What if I don’t want to eat?’ I said in a low voice.

  Coley shrugged. ‘They’ll see that as a sign of mutiny and give me the order to put you out of your misery. Which is fine by me, so go ahead and refuse.’

  I made a sighing noise and dug in. I wouldn’t have been able to resist for long anyway, not once the brains had been set before me. I’d seen it in the zom heads when they were starved. As you approach the end of consciousness, you lose control. In a few days I’d have dug into the brains regardless.

  ‘Dan-Dan didn’t want us to go foraging for used brains,’ Coley said as I threw up the remains of the brains once I’d absorbed the nutrients from them. ‘He had a more novel idea. He wanted to put one of the guards in with you, make you kill him and eat his fresh brain. He’s some piece of work, isn’t he? Makes Barnes and me look like a pair of saints. You didn’t know how lucky you were when we were the worst you had to deal with.’

  Coley got that much right. Dan-Dan is a real beauty, full of unpleasant ideas. He came to see me the day after my first fight. Six guards flanked him and he kept well back. He wanted me to wear a revealing leather outfit, the sort you used to find in seedy adult shops.

  ‘Not a hope in hell,’ I told him.

  ‘I’ll kill one of my darlings if you don’t wear it,’ he huffed.

  ‘That threat won’t work this time,’ I dismissed him. ‘I’ll tell Justin and refuse to fight in protest. The others wouldn’t like that, would they?’

  ‘You’re no fun,’ Dan-Dan pouted, then slunk away like the disgusting rat that he is.

  Even given my functioning brain, I’d have come unstuck long before now
if not for my training. Master Zhang taught me well. I zing around that room like a pinball, striking swiftly, slipping out of reach before my foes can counter. I’m improving all the time, learning new tricks, finding a whole string of ways to attack and defend. I’d be proud of how I’ve performed if I wasn’t so sickened by what is being asked of me.

  The living dead deserve better than this. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for zombies. They’re killers by nature. But they didn’t ask for reanimation or the hunger that drives them. They’re not responsible for their actions. The rest of us, on the other hand, are. And what we’re doing here is disgraceful. Sure, I’ve killed reviveds before, like in the tunnel under Waterloo Station, but that was to prepare for a battle with evil. It wasn’t for sport.

  I tried wriggling off the hook a couple of days ago. I carefully dropped my guard while fighting, moved a bit slower than I could, let myself be pummelled. That’s when I lost the teeth. I’d planned to lose a whole lot more, to let my opponents carve me up. But Vicky got wise to what I was plotting.

  ‘You can do better than that, Miss Smith,’ she called out as I circled three undead guys, each double the size of me.

  ‘Why don’t you come in and try if you think it’s that easy?’ I snarled.

  ‘That will not be necessary,’ she retaliated. ‘I can see what you’re up to. The stench of treachery is thick in the air. You want out. Rest assured, if you are defeated today, every one of Dan-Dan’s darlings will be executed within the hour. And it will not be swift or painless.’

  I cursed Vicky Wedge and the rest of them, but they had me by the short and curlies. There was nothing for it but to up my game and fight for real. I came out the undefeated champion, but the victory cost me dear. I’ve been hobbling in pain ever since.

  The door to my room opens and I raise myself, groaning, ready to fight again. But no guards enter this time. Instead it’s Barnes. I haven’t seen him since that day when I was first presented to the Board.