Christmas for the District Nurses

by Annie Groves

  James shook his head. ‘Can’t say as I have.’

  Peggy slipped her arm through his and guided him down the narrow streets towards the water. He looked up at the old buildings, their windows taped or boarded up, their grand porches and side entrances sandbagged, but still impressive. ‘Wow, this is like walking through history,’ he said. ‘Look at those arches, all pointed. They must have been there for … how many years?’ He glanced at Peggy but she laughed it off.

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t really think about it. Hundreds, maybe. I’m the wrong person to ask – I never took much notice of history at school. It never seemed to have much to do with how we live now.’

  He nodded as they walked on. ‘I know what you mean. Still, to have this all around you – I guess it’s different if you live here all the time, ain’t it? You got no reason to come and visit these places.’ He sighed, gazing about them. ‘Makes it all the more important to keep it this way, make sure the bombs don’t do any more damage. You can’t replace this sort of thing.’

  ‘I suppose not.’ They came out of the narrow street and down to the broad sweep of the Embankment. Peggy pointed towards Hungerford Bridge.

  ‘That got hit a couple of years ago, and the station as well. People were killed. There were some offices on the other side that took a hit too. You never knew which trains would be running back then. It kept us all guessing.’

  James nodded solemnly. ‘I can’t even imagine, Peggy. You must have been very brave. I don’t want to think of you in danger like that, it makes my heart sore to think about it.’

  Peggy shrugged. ‘I wasn’t brave, not really. Not like some of my friends. You met Belinda, the very tall one with black hair. She almost got burnt by acid when rescuing a little boy with a broken leg. Or Billy, our ARP warden – he got knocked over by a drunk driver in the blackout. We’ve had all sorts – it’s strange, we sort of got used to it.’

  James gave himself a small shake. ‘That ain’t right; you shouldn’t have to get used to stuff like that. It’s not normal.’

  Peggy gave a small smile. ‘I know that now, looking back on it. But at the time you just have to get on with it. You go in to work even if you haven’t slept much, cos you know the gas masks have to be made. It’s just how it is.’

  James turned and took her in his arms. Above them the trees were in full bloom and the new green leaves stirred in the breeze, sending patters of shadows down onto the pavement. ‘That’s bravery, Peggy,’ he said seriously. ‘We’re being trained to go into battle and half of the guys think it’s one big game. I don’t think it is – but it’ll be action, and if we do it well then we might get praised for being heroes. But you folks, you stayed at home and you kept everything going. The fight couldn’t go on without that. You told me your man died, and your baby that never was, and yet you kept on going through all of that. Now that’s what I call bravery.’

  ‘Oh, stop.’ Peggy felt her eyes fill with tears and couldn’t look at him.

  ‘It’s true.’ He traced the line of her chin and she had to meet his gaze. ‘Peggy, you’re beautiful, you know that?’

  She blushed, her hair blowing in the breeze, not knowing what to say. ‘I … I …’

  He stopped her protest by kissing her, and instantly she responded, knowing how well they fitted together, wanting never to let him go. The light sunshine warmed his uniform jacket and his carefully combed hair had the slight tang of Brylcreem, and yet it was a scent like nothing she had ever encountered before. At the same time it seemed deeply familiar, as if she had been waiting for it all her life. She tightened her arms around his waist. ‘James …’ she sighed, and almost cried with the sudden flood of emotion.

  ‘Peggy, my beautiful Peggy.’ He sank his face into her flyaway hair. ‘Did you hear what I said to you last night when the band were finishing? It was all so loud, I didn’t time it right at all, and I don’t know if you caught my meaning or not.’

  She turned her face against his shoulder, resting her cheek against his jacket. ‘I don’t know if I heard it right. Did you hear what I said back to you?’ She wondered if she was tempting fate, even by asking. What a fool she would seem if she’d got it wrong.

  ‘Can’t say I’m that good at lip reading,’ he said, and she could feel his breath warm on her scalp, ‘but I could have sworn you said the same thing to me as I said to you.’ He held her tighter still. ‘I love you, Peggy. That’s what I tried to tell you when that band was doing its last number. I love you, because you’re beautiful, and brave, and your eyes light up when you laugh, and you can jitterbug as well. What more could I ask for?’

  Peggy gave a small hiccup and gasped for air. ‘I thought that’s what you said. I wasn’t sure, I didn’t want to assume. But I said I love you too. You make me feel … like flying. Like I never thought I’d feel again. Like the bad things are behind me now.’

  ‘That’s right, Peggy. Put those bad things away. You can’t change them but you got me now,’ he said seriously. ‘I ain’t going to let you go. You can rely on me. I’m going to treat you like you deserve, cos you are one very special woman. I’m a lucky man.’

  Peggy blinked hard. ‘R-really?’ she managed to say, and laughed in happiness. ‘Oh James, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. But we’re here, aren’t we? We’re here together. I don’t care what people say. None of that matters, cos I’ve got you.’

  He swept her around, lifting her off her feet. ‘Yes you have. Be very sure of it. I’ve got you safe, Peggy. That’s all there is to it.’

  For a magical moment there was nothing but the two of them looking into each other’s eyes, the light from the trees filtering through the leaves and the glint of the sun on the Thames beyond the river wall. Then a train must have disgorged its passengers at Charing Cross, as a swarm of people swept down the steps from the bridge and began to flow around them. Reluctantly Peggy broke away, stepped back and took his hand. ‘Come on, I’ll give you another part of my tour. See that down there? That’s Cleopatra’s Needle …’ And she drew him away from the bridge, along the pavement, but walking on air.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Edith picked up her sandwich and looked askance at it.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ asked Harry. He took a bite of his.

  She laughed. ‘Oh, you know, coming to the country, I thought there might be different bread. But this is the same national wholemeal loaf we’re having to get used to back home.’

  Harry smiled back, enjoying the fact that she referred to Dalston as ‘home’. ‘Same rationing all over the place,’ he pointed out.

  ‘And at least the filling is better. Fresh eggs!’ Edith licked her lips. ‘And lots of cheese. I wonder if they have any extra to sell. I could take them back to Victory Walk, and to your family too.’ She nibbled delicately at the crust. The dining area of the little inn was brightly furnished with green and white gingham tablecloths and matching curtains, making it cheerful and welcoming. It was a far cry from the honeymoon at the grand hotel, but Edith felt more at home here. Two whole nights away with Harry – she could hardly believe it. ‘You were so clever to find this place, Harry. It really is as if we are on holiday.’

  He reached for the salt. ‘I’ve never been on a proper holiday,’ he said.

  ‘Me neither.’ The idea would never have even occurred to Edith’s family.

  ‘When the war’s over, let’s go somewhere. I don’t know – Brighton. Southend. Blackpool. Anywhere!’

  Edith beamed at the thought, but secretly had no wish to spend longer than necessary away from the safe hubbub of a city. This was different – a short spell away from real life, to enjoy Harry’s company. The inn was in a small village, but just a bus ride away from Harry’s base, and so she didn’t feel too cut off. But for anything longer, she was not sure. ‘Brighton would be lovely,’ she decided. ‘We’ll go there when it’s all finished. Let’s swear to do it.’

  ‘We will.’ Harry set down his plate once more. ‘How are things
at home? Have you seen the family recently?’

  Edith nodded. ‘Of course. I went round to get all the news just before coming down to see you. Mattie’s started work at the factory now, alongside Peggie and Clarrie. She likes it and the children don’t mind – they don’t really notice as they’re with your mother or Kath lots of the time anyway. Kath’s talking about working there too once she’s stopped feeding Barbara.’

  Harry nodded, finishing his sandwich. The waitress came across to clear their plates, casting a look at him as she did so. He flinched.

  Edith glanced up sharply. ‘What is it?’ She gazed into his face, which was suddenly stricken, all his good humour of a moment ago completely gone. She reached for his hand across the table. ‘Harry? Tell me.’

  He turned away, his mouth twisting. He would not meet her eyes.

  ‘Harry.’ Edith was worried now. ‘Was it when she came over? She’s gone now, back to the kitchen. Come on, you can tell me.’

  Harry gave a quiet groan. ‘Did you see what she did? She saw my face and stared. She thought I was strange.’

  Edith frowned. ‘She was only here for a second. There wasn’t time.’

  ‘There was. I saw, I could tell. It happens a lot.’ He shifted in his seat, his expression stark. ‘Everywhere I go, people stare at me. Not so much on the base or in East Grinstead; they’re used to it and I’m not the worst. But everywhere else. I’m too odd, I frighten them.’ His voice wobbled and he gazed down at the crumbs on the tablecloth. He was shaking.

  ‘Harry!’ She grasped his trembling hand more tightly. ‘Come on, this isn’t like you.’

  He pulled his hand away. ‘Maybe I’m not like me, not any more. I’m different, Edie, surely you can see that.’

  ‘Not underneath,’ she said staunchly. ‘That’s where it counts, Harry. You know that.’

  He groaned again. ‘You say that, Edie, but you know me. People I meet for the first time, or who I pass in the street – they haven’t got a clue what I’m like underneath or how I was before. I’m just a strange bloke with a scarred face. They turn away, they don’t want to know.’

  She shook her head, her eyes dark with sympathy, unsure what to say.

  ‘I’ll have to get used to it, I know. They warned me, but I had no idea how bad it would be, just little things, day after day.’ He paused, sighed, shifted again. ‘I thought that once I was out of that hospital bed, up and about again, that would be it, I’d be all right. I mean, I knew my arm would hurt and I couldn’t box with it, but I wasn’t prepared for how everyone would treat me.’

  ‘You still managed to sock one to Frankie.’ Edith smiled determinedly.

  ‘Yeah – sorry about that.’

  ‘No, no, he deserved it. I can’t tell you the number of times I wish I could have done the same.’ She sat forward in her seat. The little dining room was very quiet, just the faraway sound of dishes being washed behind the closed kitchen door.

  ‘He got to me – I know that’s what he wanted, winding me up like that, and winding you up. You’d told me often enough, I can’t say I was surprised. It’s because he came out and said aloud what everyone else thinks when they look at me.’ He clammed up.

  Edith picked up her chair and moved it to the other side of the table so that she could put her arm around Harry. She rested her head on his shoulder. ‘He’s an idiot, Harry. We got to ignore him.’

  Harry’s body was rigid, resisting her touch. ‘All the same, he was right in one way.’

  She turned to look up at him, but said nothing, waiting for him to go on.

  He swallowed hard, still refusing to meet her gaze. ‘I feel less of a man, Edie. It’s an awful thing to feel. But I’m not what I was, I’m not a proper man.’

  ‘You were a proper man last night, if I remember rightly,’ she said at once.

  He gave an involuntary smile at that. ‘Well, that’s because I was with you. You make things better, Edie. You work some kind of magic, you do.’ He relaxed a little. ‘If I had you by my side twenty-four hours a day, it would be another thing altogether.’

  ‘I wish I could do that.’ She gave him a squeeze. ‘I’m here in spirit, you know that, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course. And I’m with you, always,’ he assured her, stirring slightly.

  ‘Look, why don’t we go into the town or something, stretch our legs,’ she suggested. ‘You said they’re used to it there, what with all the pilots having their surgery in that hospital. We could go to the pictures.’

  Harry winced again.

  ‘No, don’t worry, I’ll be with you—’ she began, but he cut across her.

  ‘It’s not that. It’s what happened to the cinema,’ he explained. ‘The Jerries got it last week. One plane came over, saw a load of tanks going down the high street, went to bomb them and hit the cinema. Killed about a hundred people, injured twice that. Enough to put you off going to the pictures, that is.’

  Edith gulped. ‘Yes. Oh, the poor people. So you’re under fire down here still – we haven’t had much recently, a few explosions back in May … that’s terrible.’ She gathered her thoughts in a hurry. ‘Then let’s go for a walk somewhere else; it’ll be good to get some fresh air.’

  Harry nodded and got up. ‘Good idea. One of the mechanics at the base stayed here before with his girl, that’s how I knew this was a decent place, and he drew me a rough map – says there are some good views near here. Let’s do that.’

  ‘Work up an appetite.’ Edith grinned, getting to her feet as well.

  Quickly she changed her shoes for something sensible and flat, suitable for a country walk. She would do her best to admire the view, even if it was bound to be a bit rural for her taste. It didn’t matter as long as she was with Harry. She would not let anything spoil their all-too-rare precious time together.

  Yet she could not help but worry about him. It was all very well when she was here to defend him or bolster him against the unthinking glances. She was sure most people weren’t hostile, simply curious. He was never anything less than a proper man to her. But if he felt otherwise, she didn’t know what she could do about it. She would have to come up with something, though; that much was clear.

  ‘Ron! Seems like I ain’t seen you for ages.’ Billy slapped his mate on the back, sending puffs of particles from his dusty jacket into the still air of the warehouse. It was warm, too warm for the hard physical work of shifting items around the docks.

  Ron stood up straight, easing his protesting back muscles. ‘Oh, that’s a heavy one. Me arms have forgotten what lifting is, being as I took a few days’ leave.’ He leant against a tall crate. ‘Me brother Alfie came home for a week, first time he’s done that for ages, so him and me took Ma and Auntie Ida out on the town a bit. Well, Hyde Park. Loved it, they did.’

  ‘Bet they did.’ Billy couldn’t remember the last time his mother had been well enough to go that far. She had only just managed to help push Barbara in her pram around Butterfield Green. ‘So they’re all feeling better now, are they?’

  Ron nodded. ‘Auntie Ida’s legs have been on the mend ever since Edie and her mates helped treat her. Ma’s not too bad, thanks, considering she’s not getting any younger. Alfie, well now, he’s got some news.’ He grinned at the memory. ‘You know when I went to see him when he was first in hospital in Portsmouth after getting shot down, I told you there was a really helpful nurse? Looked a bit like the film star – that Vivien Leigh? Not that he knew that, he couldn’t even see her. He just liked the sound of her voice.’

  Billy wiped his forehead, where a film of sweat was forming in the heat. ‘Yes, I recall you said something like that. I met her when I visited; she did look a bit like her.’

  ‘He’s only asked her to marry him. Sly old sod, he’s been seeing her on the QT ever since.’

  ‘He never!’ Billy laughed, impressed. ‘Good for him.’

  ‘I could tell she was a bit sweet on him from the word go, him being a hero and a pilot and all that,’ Ron explained.
‘Not that nurses can have favourites, but she was kind to him when we didn’t know if he’d ever see again or not.’

  ‘But he can see now?’ Billy couldn’t imagine going blind, especially when you were still in your twenties. He touched wood for luck.

  ‘Yes, he was lucky. He can’t fly any more though, his eyesight will never be what it was, but he teaches navigation to air-force recruits. He always was good at school learning, our Alfie. Not like me. Ma said he got all the brains and didn’t know where they came from.’

  ‘You don’t do so bad yourself, Ron,’ Billy said loyally. ‘So what did she say, this Vivien? Going to make an honest man of him, is she?’

  Ron laughed. ‘She’s not really Vivien, she’s Lizzie. Well, the thing is, if they got married right away, she might have to stop working, so she said yes but they’ll have to wait.’

  Billy nodded. That was tough but it made a harsh kind of sense. Hospitals needed their nurses these days. You had to make personal sacrifices in such times. ‘Alfie all right with that, is he?’

  ‘He’ll have to be. Anyway, there’s a fair chance he’ll be posted up to Scotland somewhere, so even if they were married right away they wouldn’t see one another much. You and Kath are the lucky ones, Bill.’

  Billy pursed his lips in acknowledgement. ‘We are, Ron, and not a day goes by that I don’t give thanks for it. I never thought it would happen, that she’d marry me, and I’m happier than I can say.’

  ‘You don’t ever hanker for the single life no more then?’ Ron’s eyes gleamed as he teased his friend.

  Billy huffed. ‘As if. What would I want that for? Got my lovely Kath, got the nippers. Keep me on my toes, they do. All right, I grant you I’m a bit short on sleep – and don’t look at me like that, not for the reasons you’re thinking. Barbara might have started teething, that’s the reason I got these big purple bags under me eyes. We got to take it in turns carrying her round the room, it’s the only way she’ll settle.’ He sighed as if it was the hardest job in the world, but Ron wasn’t fooled for a minute.