Accidentally...Cimil?

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

I sank on the bed. “Why me?”

  Other-me was quick to reply, “Good question. I wish I could remember how I specifically triggered the apocalypse. Maybe then, you could avoid doing that one particular thing.”

  “Does it really matter?” I asked. “I’d find some other way to carry out the destruction of the planet. If I was designed for that, then that is what I’ll do. I am evil. I always have been, and I always will be.”

  Other-me shook her head. “No, Cimil. Our actions are evil, but we are not. That’s why I came back to stop you. In my heart, I want what’s right. It just so happens that what I think is right steers the events in the wrong direction.”

  It was true. My heart was good. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Roberto to be happy, which is why I had to let him…

  “Oh my gods! That’s it!” I jumped up and down and did a quick lightning finger. “In my heart, being with Roberto is the wrong thing to do. I will only hurt him! That means I should do the opposite. I should be with him and subject him to my awful, terrible ways.”

  “You truly are batshit crazy,” Roberto’s deep voice said from the doorway. He now wore a new pair of black leather pants and another white shirt.

  I ran and hurtled myself at his large body and began kissing his lips. “Yes. Yes, I am. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make you the most miserable man on the planet, hopefully for eternity.”

  Roberto peeled me off him. “While I do not understand what has occurred in the last ten seconds to cause you to change your mind, for which I am eternally grateful, you are making no sense.”

  “I’m evil!”

  Roberto tipped his head. “Not helping.”

  “Aside from being in charge of the underworld and many, many other things, I am the bringer of destruction. The apocalypse. I don’t mean to be, but it seems that it’s the Universe’s little joke. Everything I do feels like the right thing, but really, it’s wrong. Look what happened when I tried to save you! I created vampires!”

  He cocked one chocolaty brow. “And this means what?”

  “It means that I if I want to be good, I have to be bad. Really, really bad. Most of the time. Unless doing something bad feels good, then I do something good.”

  His face crinkled into a perturbed little ball. “And you came to this conclusion how?”

  I pointed at Other-me and explained. Obviously he couldn’t see her, but I think he believed me because he made a polite little dip with his head to greet her.

  She wiggled her fingers back at him. “Howdy.”

  “If you are, in fact, correct,” he said, “then why do you still see this other future version of yourself?” he asked. “Should she not be gone now that you’ve taken appropriate actions to not do good things?”

  “Excellent point.” This whole space-time continuum thing is all very confusing. Welcome to my kooky world! “Maybe there’s one thing left for me to do?” I winked at him.

  He smiled. “Exactly how bad did you say you must be?”

  I blinked and found myself tightly wrapped in his arms. “Very, very, very bad. I’m thinking we might need to see a priest afterward and confess our sins. Or perhaps, spank each other as punishment for our very naughty deeds.”

  “I would very, very much like that. The spanking part, I mean. I am not a fan of priests. They always want to show me their crucifixes or moisten me with their little birdbaths. Most peculiar.”

  I stared blankly and then shrugged. “Spanking it is!”

  He pressed his thick, warm lips to mine and plunged his hot tongue into my mouth. I felt the particles of my immortal light begin to vibrate as if rejoicing. They were finally going to be reunited with the part of me that went missing so very long ago. Or, perhaps, that part of my light never truly belonged to me. I was just holding on to it until its rightful owner showed up.

  He slid his warm hands inside my robe and pulled it down off my shoulders, letting gravity do the rest. Not once in my entire existence had I felt uncomfortable being nude. The gods know I spent half of my life wearing nothing but a fig leaf. On my head. But standing before Roberto now, I felt naked for the first time. There were no walls of deceit to hide behind, no ulterior motives, no political agendas.

  There was simply us.

  As his mouth worked over mine at a sensual, expert pace, he gently cupped my breasts, caressing the soft curves with his palms and stroking my hard nipples with his thumbs.

  He deepened the kiss, and his hands floated down to the curves of my waist. He pulled me into him with such force that the air whooshed from my lungs.

  “Sorry, my love,” he panted. “But I can’t be gentle. I cannot be slow. I have waited far too long to be inside you.”

  Suddenly, I was back on the bed; Roberto stood before me and began stripping away his shirt.

  “What? You’re not going to just tear them off again?”

  “My last shirt and pair of pants. And now that I am penniless, I will have to make them last.” His dark, exotic eyes twinkled.

  He was joking. If there was one thing vampires were good at, it was making money. He’d be back to his old, disgustingly wealthy self in no time.

  He threw his shirt to the floor and shed his pants, standing before me tall, glorious, and sexy as he’d ever been. Thousands of years had not dulled his raw, male magnificence or my fascination with every hard inch of his body, especially his thick, long shaft. (Yes, this time, I’m talking about his penis.) But what had changed were his eyes. Once they shimmered with a hunger for dominance and power, but now they glowed with something that radiated from deep within. A confidence, perhaps, that he always knew we were meant to be. Maybe it came from the satisfaction of feeling that we’d finally overcome our obstacles. Or perhaps it was the wisdom one only achieved through a lifetime of trial and error. I was sorry I’d missed that journey with him, because whatever he’d gone through had made him sexier than ever, a real man who’d replaced that enormous ego with something much more powerful. Love.

  “You truly are a goddess, Cimil.” He beamed down at my body.

  And I am all yours. I opened my legs for him in a silent, blatant invitation. He didn’t need any more encouragement than that.

  His eyes flickered to black orbs, a sign that he was overcome with lust. Before I blinked, his hips were thrusting into me, his hard cock stroking my body into a tight, hot frenzy of delicious wave after wave of pleasure.

  His eyes drilled into me, a steady rock among the whirlwind of euphoric sensations overpowering my body. “You feel so much better than I imagined. So hot and slick. But I need more.” He placed his lips over the pulse on my neck and bit down hard.

  I gasped at first, thinking that he was insane, that my light would cook him from the inside out. But as he vigorously sucked with his mouth and pumped with his cock, my human body was the only thing cooking. It felt as though he’d transformed my entire body into one enormous center of pleasure aching to be stroked by his powerful, hard body.

  “Oh, gods! Oh, gods!” I couldn’t stop what was coming. Feeling our pulses beat in synchronization to that erotic sucking and sinful thrusting, seeing his beautiful body—each muscle chiseled to perfection and covered with a sheen of sweat—his naked body flexing and straining to drive his thick shaft deeper and deeper, I couldn’t hold back.

  A violent orgasm ripped through my body. Roberto pushed forward one final time, releasing another avalanche of pleasure. He groaned like a savage beast as he poured himself into me.

  Panting like he’d just sifted halfway across the world and back again, he collapsed on top of me, nestling his face in the crook of my neck.

  My mind spun in dizzying circles.

  “Gods, Cimil, you taste delicious. Like nothing I’ve ever had. Rich and smoky and sweet.”

  I smiled. Maybe my darkness tasted like chocolate.

  We turned our faces toward one another and gazed into each other’s eyes. There it was again. The beginning, the end, light, darkness, happiness, destructio
n, the entire fate of the world balancing on the tip of a needle. He and I together. Him doing good. Me doing bad, ergo, good.

  “Holy shit,” I said, “we’re the weights, balancing the scale. Yin and yang.”

  He shrugged his brows suggestively. “My yin is wanting more of your yang.”

  I pulled my head back, wincing.

  Roberto’s dark eyes narrowed. “What now? Please don’t tell me you have to go burn down a church or poke someone in the eye.”

  I shook my head. “No. I have that scheduled for seven a.m. tomorrow. But we need to talk—”

  He kissed me hard and thrust himself into me. I gasped from the raw pleasure of his invasion. “There will be time for talking later.” He thrust again and this time I saw stars.

  * * *

  Five days later

  Roberto and I made love twenty times in every room of the estate. I was extremely happy that my immortal body did not require sustenance and that his body thought of my blood as a giant energy bar. We banged our way through the night, rested during the day, and took long hot baths in between.

  On that sixth evening, he stretched his long, hard, naked body across the bed and yawned as the sun retreated. I had been anxiously waiting for him to wake so that I could tell him a few minor details I’d realized over the past few days.

  “Hi, sweetie,” I said and kissed his full lips.

  “Ummm. Good evening, my goddess.” He rolled on top of me and instantly began to feed from my neck, groaning and, well, growing.

  “Eh-hem,” I said. “Honey?”

  He grunted like a wild beast and started working his way between my thighs.

  Hold those legs together, goddess. Do not give in. But he was much too strong and popped them open like a ripe tangerine.

  Dammit. I would have to start working out my thighs. If only they had some sort of device for that? If I ever found one, I’d buy two. For every room of the house. Plus a few dozen backups. Because once Roberto got into position, I was completely useless.

  I felt his moist head slide between my folds and tensed. The sucking and pumping, the kissing and stroking, panting and groaning would start and wouldn’t stop until the sun once again set. I’d be lost to him. So very, very lost.

  Come on, Cimil. Connect that brain of yours to those lips. “Roberto, honey,” I panted. Resist orgasm, resist orgasm, resist. “There’s something I should tell you.”

  He groaned, but did not release the powerful suction of his lips or slow the rhythm of his demanding body.

  “Listen, Narmer—Roberto. I know that this doesn’t seem important, but Other-me hasn’t left yet. And, well, I think you should know that I don’t think she ever will.”

  It was true. I’d seen her several times over the past few days. Each time, her clothing changed. More modern, more flashy. I came to the conclusion that she’d never leave. Whatever chain of events I’d triggered, my actions from here on out would only delay the end.

  “I am confused by that statement, but make it fast.” He panted into my neck.

  “Well, you were right about me helping the Maaskab and your brother Philippe. And I will not be able to stop. I know how you feel about them.”

  He released a short breath and froze midpump. “I have vowed to wipe them both off the face of the earth. However, simply because you cannot do good, intentionally of course, doesn’t mean that I cannot. I am not the bringer of death.”

  “So you won’t mind?”

  “Mind what?”

  “Mind being stuck with me, even though I will be forced to sabotage everything you do?”

  He smiled with affection and appreciation. “No, my love. I will not mind. As long as I have you.” He covered my mouth with his and began that sensual rhythm, working his tongue, cock, hands, and body in one carefully coordinated dance to coax every ounce of pleasure from my mortal-like body.

  I sighed with relief and relaxed into the sensual treat I knew my body craved.

  “Just as long as you agree to marry me and have my children,” he added in his low gravelly voice.

  What? Is he insane? No. No way. I couldn’t do that. Marriage was… was so permanent, and I was so young. A mere goddess of seventy. Thousand. Give or take a few centuries. And children? OMG. Why in the world would I agree to that?

  “No.” I pushed, and he landed on his back next to me.

  He immediately sat up and glared down at me. “Why the hell not?”

  “I would make a horrible mother. Can you imagine? I’d constantly have to do the opposite. Sure, baby, touch that fire! You want to play with that sharp knife? Okeydokey.”

  “Cimil, don’t be silly. I do not believe for one moment that the Universe would want you to put an innocent child in jeopardy.”

  I snapped a judgmental look his way. “Really? But she’d be okay with ending the world? Babies and puppies included?”

  He stared ahead, clearly pondering the question. “Perhaps you have a point; the Universe can be quite cruel, but we would find a way to make it work.”

  Knowing he wanted this so badly, I couldn’t bear to look at him. “No. I can’t. It’s not right.”

  He lay next to me and tilted my face toward him. “Then, according to your rules, it is exactly what you should do, my love. You should have a life. A full life. With me.”

  I stood and shrugged on my robe. “I can’t do it, Roberto. As much as I love you, I can’t.”

  He was silent for several moments. “You are afraid. I feel it.”

  Yes. Yes, I was. “That’s what I was trying to tell you. I have finally put all the pieces together. You, me, my visions… Other-me. Avoiding the apocalypse will never stop. We will forever be on the cusp, trying to prevent the tables from turning. One slip up”—I snapped my fingers—“and it all ends. We will never know peace.”

  “Then I will find a way to stack the cards squarely in our favor.” He sifted from the bed and cradled my face in his large hands. “I will fix everything. Now, come back to bed, Cimil.”

  Always so confident, so arrogant. Did he really believe he could outsmart the Universe?

  “We’ll never win,” I grumbled.

  “I am a vampire. I always win. Please?” he asked with a deep, suggestive tone.

  My eyes shifted toward the soft sheets, wrinkled from excessive bed play.

  “Come now,” he said sweetly. “We can worry about children and saving the world later.”

  “I am not having childr—”

  He sifted me to the bed and left my robe in a shredded pile on the floor.

  Sneaky pharaoh. “Okay, but can we play Tut-slut?”

  He grinned. “I prefer bury the sarcophagus.”

  “Excellent choice, my pharaoh.”

  Epilogue

  Fast-forward three hundred years past a bunch of really fun and exciting stuff to New Year’s Eve, 2012

  Near Sedona, Arizona, the estate of Kinich Ahau, ex–God of the Sun

  (Hint: This is right after a certain Sun God finds his surrogate. And right before a certain Goddess of Suicide finds her yummy Spaniard.)

  “That was a dirty, dirty trick,” I said to Roberto as he stuffed me into the back of the waiting town car outside my brother’s estate.

  He climbed in next to me. “Was it now?”

  I crossed my arms. “Yes.”

  “Ah, but now, you’ve finally sworn to marry me and have children.”

  I had to admit, I was proud of my devious pharaoh. He knew how to play dirty. Yes, it had taken him three centuries, but he’d managed to outsmart me and back me into an impossible corner. I made the vow in order to save my brother.

  “You almost killed Kinich,” I protested.

  His face gleamed with pride. “Your brother has always wanted to become a vampire. He will be fine. I left more than enough blood inside him and now he has mine—the blood of the strongest, oldest vampire ever to live.”

  “And the sexiest. And most handsome,” I admitted begrudgingly.

 
“True. So true. And the sexiest, most handsome vampire in the world cannot wait to bed you. I’ve missed you these past months.” He grabbed my hand and began kissing his way up my arm.

  “Roberto.” I rolled my eyes. “We can’t do this now. Everything is a mess.”

  He grinned with that arrogance I’d grown to love and fear. “You always say that, but everything always works out in the end.”

  I scratched my head. “No. It’s different this time.”

  “You always say that, too.” He leaned forward. “Drive on,” he instructed the chauffeur.

  Oh, but this time, I really, really meant it. Something had gone very wrong. I’d taken a wrong step, done something I wasn’t supposed to. I didn’t know what, though.

  “I want to marry you,” he said. “I want a child. You said it might be possible with help from your sister Akna.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Cimil, you’ve had me chasing after you for three centuries, and now playtime is over.”

  “Maybe it is,” I said coldly.

  “Do not think to back out,” he said. “A deal is a deal.”

  “I am not backing out. It’s…”

  Sadly, the news was bitter-bitter and the reason I’d been avoiding him for months.

  “Tell him, Cimil. Tell him!” Other-me griped.

  “What is it, my dove? Are you angry because I’ve trumped you again? I know my winning can become tiresome, but just as you are predisposed for destruction, I am predisposed for victory.”

  “No! You idiot!” I barked.

  “What then?” he asked.

  “Tell him!” Other-me barked.

  “I will. Just shut your clown hole!” I screamed toward the front seat.

  Roberto’s strong hand latched onto mine. “Cimil?”

  Shit. Shit. Camel shit. “I had another vision. In less than eight months, the gods still turn on humanity.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, my love. But we’ve failed. Somehow I’ve managed to bring destruction to the world anyway.”

  “But I thought you were making very nice progress with finding their mates. Kinich, Chaam, Votan, and, soon, Ixtab.”

  “I didn’t move fast enough. That still leaves nine.”

  “Are you certain?” he asked.