The Emotional Wound Thesaurus
Page 22
Wanting to follow a passion or dream but being crippled by the negative voices from one’s past
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LIVING THROUGH CIVIL UNREST
EXAMPLES: Civil unrest is described as disorder caused by a group of people who are often politically or socially motivated. It runs the gamut from small-duration violent protests to larger-scale riots, destruction, and vigilante justice. This kind of atmosphere, when prolonged, can result in societal breakdowns that affect others in the region, the results of which can include…
Shortages of necessary items, such as food, fuel, and water
Threats to public safety
Riots and increased crime
Infringed freedoms (enforced curfews, illegal home searches, confiscation of personal items, etc.)
Destruction of property
The cessation of necessary services like schooling, medical services, postal delivery, garbage collection, cellular service, and public transportation
The discontinuation of commonplace public utilities, such as electricity and gas
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
I should have seen this coming.
The law doesn’t apply to me.
Even when life is unjust, it’s better to do as I’m told than make waves.
I can only trust and rely on myself.
We will never recover from this.
Safety is only an illusion.
Underneath the surface, everyone is violent.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Being killed
A loved one being killed
Being unable to provide for their family
A family member getting injured or falling ill and being unable to obtain medical care
Running out of necessary resources, or having them forcibly taken away
Abandonment by police, the government, or whomever is providing protection during the unrest
Being in the wrong place at the wrong time
Getting involved in other peoples’ problems and being punished for doing so
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Increased paranoia and suspicion
Reacting impulsively, without thought
Hyperawareness (of changes to one’s environment, sounds, emotions, movement, etc.)
Trying to blend in by disguising one’s appearance and hiding truths about oneself that are at odds with those causing the trouble
Watching the news incessantly to learn about increased volatility and places to avoid
Beefing up the security at home (building fortifications, keeping track of family, arming oneself, etc.)
Sleeplessness and heightened anxiety
Forming plans (to escape, where to go in an emergency, what to do if the family is separated, etc.)
Only leaving home when it’s absolutely necessary
Being careful with one’s words due to not knowing who can be trusted
Watching for indicators that one is being surveilled for signs of disloyalty
Avoiding the most dangerous areas, even if it means a big inconvenience
Stockpiling or rationing emergency supplies
Becoming averse to waste of food, fuel, water, clothing, etc.
Worrying over small things; one’s mind jumping to the worst-case scenario
Marking possible exits and escape routes
Preparing an emergency evacuation kit in case one must leave immediately
Not helping others in situations where one would have in the past
Researching topics (such as home remedies, basic first aid, or trapping and hunting) so one can be more independent
Reaching out to those in the immediate community to share resources and manpower
Making plans to fight back against those causing the unrest
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Adaptable, alert, analytical, bold, cautious, cooperative, decisive, efficient, independent, kind, loyal, mature, observant, organized, proactive, protective, resourceful, responsible, thrifty
Flaws: Antisocial, apathetic, callous, confrontational, controlling, evasive, fanatical, greedy, hostile, humorless, impulsive, inhibited, paranoid, pessimistic, stingy, uncooperative, unethical, violent
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
The sound of gunshots, smell of smoke, or other sensory triggers from the time of unrest
Having one’s neighbors suddenly move out in the middle of the night
Passing a group of protestors on the commute to work
A union strike at the business where one works that is growing increasingly hostile
Civil unrest being covered in the news
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Experiencing a natural disaster that creates widespread damage and restricts one’s access to resources
Unrest in the workplace (a teacher’s strike, a union dispute, etc.) that forces one to choose a side
After escaping the unrest by doing unthinkable things, one is faced with an everyday situation that challenges one’s moral code
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LIVING THROUGH FAMINE OR DROUGHT
NOTES: Droughts (periods of extended dryness) and famine (prolonged scarcity of food) are very different things that often go hand in hand. The duration of famines and droughts can vary; they can last anywhere from weeks to years. But while longer events are more catastrophic, living through even a short period of time without sufficient food or water can be traumatic.
EXAMPLES: There are many causes for drought and famine, including…
The pollution of a community’s only water supply
The damming of a distant river or lake that reduces a community’s access to water
Deforestation
Meteorological changes
A large number of people moving to a region that an existing water or food supply can’t support
An illness or blight that destroys livestock or crops in an area
A war that depletes a country’s food supply, leading to restrictions and sanctions
A corrupt government or ruling regime that purposely withholds food from its people
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
The Have-Nots will always be at the mercy of the Haves.
I can’t count on anyone but myself.
Survival is all that matters in this world.
I failed my loved ones by not providing adequately for them.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Death
Watching a loved one suffer
Surviving when others do not
Being used by others (if the famine or drought was caused by those in power)
Being hungry or thirsty
Living a mediocre life; dying before being able to do anything important
Being insignificant or expendable
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Hiding one’s meager resources to avoid being targeted and having those resources taken
Being morally flexible if survival is at stake
Becoming dependent on others who represent safety and security
Choosing safety over love (marrying for stability)
Driving one’s children to succeed monetarily
Distrusting the wealthy or powerful
Safeguarding against hard times in the future by being miserly, even when one has means
Embracing certain hardships to avoid going soft, in case another emergency hits
Overeating when food is plentiful
Feeling guilty for the little one has when others are going without
Stockpiling food or water against a future famine or drought
Trying to foresee and plan for events that might reduce one’s water
and food supply
Relocating to a place where famine and drought aren’t common
Being resourceful; making the most of what one has
Being sensitive to food or water waste
Studying hard so one can get a job that will ensure security in the future
Educating oneself on the cause of the event so one can take steps to avoid it in the future
Becoming self-sufficient; maintaining a personal food and water source that isn’t provided by others
Being generous with what one has because one knows what it’s like to go without
Donating money and time to help those without food or water
Working to raise social awareness for people in the same situation
Appreciating what one has
Respecting the earth’s resources
Being more environmentally friendly
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Adaptable, alert, ambitious, appreciative, courageous, disciplined, empathetic, focused, generous, independent, patient, resourceful, simple, socially aware, studious, thrifty, unselfish
Flaws: Callous, controlling, cynical, devious, greedy, hostile, humorless, impatient, irrational, materialistic, morbid, obsessive, resentful, scatterbrained, selfish, stingy, suspicious, ungrateful, weak-willed
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
The water being shut off in one’s building (because of a problem, for maintenance, etc.)
A temporary drought in one’s area
A power outage that causes food in a fridge or freezer to spoil
Hunger pangs or thirst
Facing a scenario similar to the event that caused the famine or drought in one’s past
Seeing people in one’s community who don’t have enough to eat
Tasting or smelling the one food that was available and had to be eaten constantly during the event
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Having enough (food, water, etc.) but being reluctant to help others for fear of running out
After sacrificing one’s morals to survive the crisis, one recognizes a new lack as a result: a loss of self-esteem and identity
Despite cheating death and surviving a devastating drought, one gets a terrible prognosis (an illness, an inoperable tumor, etc.) that will end one’s life prematurely
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PREJUDICE OR DISCRIMINATION
NOTES: Prejudice is the forming of ideas or opinions without adequate knowledge or facts. People can show prejudice against others based on a person’s race or ethnicity, religion, social class, gender, sexual orientation, age, level of education, beliefs, or other criteria. When unfounded judgments are made, discrimination—behaviors or actions taken against individuals due to prejudice—often follows.
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
Everyone is prejudiced.
I’ll never succeed because my race (or beliefs, religion, etc.) will always work against me.
People will never see the real me, just my (race, gender, disability, etc.).
I will take everything I can because the world owes me.
Friendships and relationships outside of my religion (or race, age, etc.) don’t work.
God hates me. I must have done something to be treated this way.
Why accept others when no one accepts me?
The only thing that makes people pay attention is violence.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Being attacked or targeted
Their loved ones being attacked and targeted
Their rights being infringed or taken away
Building or achieving something and it being stripped away
Being limited in life because of discrimination
Being ostracized by their own group and losing the security they find there
Becoming what they hate (feeling prejudice and discriminating against others)
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Hiding or lying about one’s race, orientation, beliefs, etc.
Feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt
Listening to propaganda and feeling ashamed of who one is
Denying one’s true self
Mistrusting the motives of others
Giving up activities or interests that support one’s ethnicity, gender, etc.
Being hyperaware of stereotypes and either embracing them fully or avoiding them
Losing one’s sense of identity out of a need to be accepted by others
Only hanging out with people one can relate to
Wanting to apply stereotypes to one’s opposition but also wanting to rising above that mentality
Believing what others say
Becoming what one is accused of being (fulfilling the prophecy)
Emotional volatility
Reacting to prejudice with violence
Perceiving slights where there are none
Becoming prejudiced against other groups
Suffering in silence; not telling anyone about what’s happening
Lowering one’s expectations
Hopelessness and depression
Doubting one’s abilities
Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol
Having a pessimistic view of the world
Avoiding the people and places who have discriminated against one in the past
Wanting to be politically active but fearing backlash and targeting
Withdrawing into oneself
Refusing to confide in or seek help from people not of one’s race, orientation, etc. because of an assumption that they won’t understand or care
Trying to be perfect so no one will be able to find fault
Engaging the authorities (or a powerful group) in an effort to stop the prejudice
Fighting the social injustice via protesting, boycotting, or soliciting lawmakers to affect change
Finding a healthy outlet for one’s feelings (e.g., joining a group or club of people with similar beliefs)
Working to overcome the hurtful stereotype (by being open-minded, being hard-working and community-minded, living in opposition of the stereotype, etc.)
Rebelling in a healthy way by embracing who one is and dismissing the opinions of others
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Ambitious, bold, centered, cooperative, courageous, courteous, disciplined, inspirational, loyal, optimistic, passionate, persistent, socially aware, spunky, tolerant
Flaws: Antisocial, confrontational, disloyal, hostile, hypocritical, ignorant, inhibited, insecure, judgmental, oversensitive, paranoid, perfectionist, prejudiced, rebellious, resentful, subservient
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Experiencing prejudice in a place one perceived as being safe (church, a family gathering, etc.)
One’s child being the victim of prejudice or discrimination
Seeing a loved one lowering their standards and dreams in the wake of discrimination
Someone with racist tendencies coming into power and threatening one’s basic rights
Witnessing a group of people protesting one’s race, religion, etc. in one’s country
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Having someone not of one’s race, religion, age, creed, etc. extend the hand of friendship
After years spent changing to accommodate the expectations of others, one recognizes that one’s true self has been denied
While protecting one’s rights, the rights of others are infringed, leading to the realization that prejudice can affect anyone, not just those in one’s group
Blaming prejudice when one was passed over for a promotion only to discover that the winning candidate was indeed more deserving
Imparting life lessons to a younger person and realizing
that society has progressed in the area of discrimination or prejudice, giving one hope
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UNREQUITED LOVE
NOTES: In this scenario, the character loves someone who doesn’t return that love. Often, the beloved knows about the character’s feelings but doesn’t feel the same way. In other cases, the beloved is oblivious to how the character feels, and the character is left to pine away in silence.
EXAMPLES: Caring for someone who…
Doesn’t care for one in the same way
Is oblivious to one’s feelings
Is married or in a committed relationship
Used to be with a best friend or sibling
It’s taboo for one to be with (due to race, age differences, religious constraints, family expectations, societal prejudices, etc.)
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
Life isn’t worth living without this person’s love.
We aren’t together because I’m not good enough.
This person is the only one for me.
If I prove my worth, she (or he) will come around.
If I change enough, he (or she) will see what a perfect match we are.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Revealing their love
Being rejected by the beloved and losing access to them
Being rejected by other love interests (because if the beloved has turned them down, there must be something wrong with them)
Being ridiculed or laughed at by the beloved or others
Never finding someone who measures up to the beloved
Never finding love at all
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Taking every opportunity to be near the person
Stalking him or her (online and off)
Taking an interest in his or her hobbies, passions, and activities