Feeling survivor’s guilt; questioning why one is alive when others are not
Becoming highly protective of family members, especially children
Limiting loved ones’ activities to things deemed to be safe
Staying up-to-date on current events
Avoiding situations where one will have to interact with strangers
Looking for patterns in the news that forecast what may happen in order to protect oneself
Being more susceptible to propaganda and fear-mongering
Questioning the motives of others
Becoming attached to one’s national or religious symbols as a way to reject the terrorists’ work
Not openly wearing religious or national symbols if one is worried about persecution
Growing anxious in potentially violent situations (protests, rallies, strikes, etc.)
A heightened sensitivity to changes in one’s environment
Experiencing chest pain, headaches, and other medical ailments as the body reacts to stress
Difficulty returning to day-to-day life after the event
Struggling to enjoy the little things
Expressing one’s anger in violent ways
Worrying about family members when they’re out of sight
Creating caches of survival necessities
Having a disaster or evacuation plan for one’s family
Difficulty eating or sleeping
Feeling restless, like one should be doing more
Donating blood on a regular basis
Creating or visiting a memorial for those who died in the event
Returning to the church if one was not a regular attender
Educating oneself on the happening and events leading up to it to understand it better
Seeking ways to volunteer or help protect one’s community
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Alert, analytical, cautious, intelligent, loyal, organized, patriotic, perceptive, proactive, protective, responsible, socially aware, wise
Flaws: Apathetic, callous, confrontational, controlling, fanatical, hostile, impatient, irrational, judgmental, nervous, obsessive, pessimistic, resentful, suspicious
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
A power outage
An earthquake or extreme storm
The smell of smoke or certain chemicals
Fire drills and evacuation procedures
Violent movies or news reports
Media coverage of marches, protests, and riots
Passing the site of the terrorist attack
Someone screaming or yelling
The sight of blood
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Being caught in a natural disaster and having to flee to get one’s family to safety
Being in a bank or store robbery and having to think clearly to survive
Experiencing a gas leak or fire within a building and being responsible for getting others out
Being the first to arrive after a terrible car accident and needing to help in order to save lives
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
BEING HUMILIATED BY OTHERS
EXAMPLES
A teacher singling out a student in front of others
Having one’s reputation damaged (due to sex videos surfacing, a rant unknowingly being taped, etc.)
A shameful secret, closely guarded, being shared with peers or the public (through, say, social media)
A messy job firing that was not handled with respect or dignity
Being falsely accused of a terrible or taboo crime
College fraternity, sorority, or sports-related hazing
One’s infidelity becoming public when a vengeful spouse posts about it on social media
Vicious rumors or truths (an unusual sexual preference, mistreatment accusations, etc.) being shared, causing shame or embarrassment
A rival smearing one’s reputation by revealing embarrassing information
Someone who wasn’t ready to reveal his or her sexual preference being outed publicly
Bullying that involves humiliating acts (being pantsed in front of others, embarrassing information—true or false—being shared on social media, etc.)
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
I will never be able to achieve anything because people will judge me based on what happened.
It doesn’t matter that I’m innocent; people will always wonder about me.
I am defective and weak. I will always be a target.
I don’t deserve happiness after what I did.
I will never fit in or be understood.
If anyone finds out about my past, my life will be over.
Don’t trust anyone to have your back because they won’t.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Being recorded (via video, an audio recording, etc.)
Being exploited
Trusting the wrong person
Public opinion or the gossip wheel
The person who caused the humiliation
Other important secrets becoming known
Being abandoned by loved ones to face shame and humiliation alone
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Developing social anxiety
Self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, or food
Pulling away from friends out of embarrassment
Making excuses to avoid social events
Feeling anxiety when the phone rings or email alerts chime
Trying to change one’s appearance to fly under the public’s radar
Not returning to the place where the humiliation took place (quitting one’s job, changing schools, leaving politics or the limelight, etc.)
Mistrusting new people; not taking them at their word
Not taking care of oneself (out of shame, humiliation, depression, etc.)
Assuming that everyone knows about what happened, though it may only be a few people
Becoming sensitive to situations that mirror one’s own (TV shows that make light of a similar circumstance, something a friend says in jest, etc.)
Being afraid to go out; worrying one will be recognized
Fearing that other mistakes will be brought to light
Walking into a room and feeling watched, as if everyone is staring
Mulling over the humiliating things that were said, wondering if they might be true
Second-guessing one’s decisions and actions
Reading into the motives of others; thinking the worst of people
Clinging to the loyal people in one’s life
Losing interest in hobbies and activities
Narrowing one’s friendship group to only a few trusted people
Avoiding social media; closing one’s accounts
Using the incident to draw attention to a problem or bias in society in hopes of changing it
Getting a pet to fill the void (because it is non-judgmental and loves unconditionally)
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Cautious, courageous, discreet, honest, honorable, inspirational, merciful, objective, persuasive, private, proactive, protective, resourceful, sensible, tolerant, uninhibited
Flaws: Addictive, confrontational, cowardly, defensive, dishonest, foolish, gullible, impulsive, inhibited, insecure, macho, martyr, melodramatic, paranoid, resentful, self-destructive
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Running into the person who was the cause of one’s humiliation
Being at a location that is similar to where the humiliating event took place
Seeing someone being ripped apart or having their secrets outed on social media
Overhearing unkind gossip about a co-worker
Being recognized by a stranger (because of a video or media coverage, etc.)
Running into an old ex (if infidelity was involved)
Making a potential new friend who brings up what happened
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Wanting to enter a trusting relationship but struggling with how to be vulnerable again
A relationship evolving to the point where one becomes afraid the other person will find out about the humiliating event
Overhearing someone being pressured into doing something that will hurt them if it goes sideways
Wanting to chase a dream (evolve a career, follow a passion, etc.) that requires disclosing one’s past to gatekeepers
Having to testify in a lawsuit against the person or company that caused the humiliation
Witnessing the person who caused one’s humiliation doing the same thing to someone else
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
BEING TORTURED
EXAMPLES: Survivors who were…
Tortured for information (POWs, politically-motivated kidnappings, etc.)
Captured by a serial killer or sadistic individual
Living with a violent cult, family, or other group
Targeted by a terror group, including “pack mentality” peers who embrace sadistic bullying
Accused of political or religious crimes
Persecuted for being in the ethnic or religious minority
Captured journalists
Human rights defenders and health professionals in volatile countries
Members of an opposing criminal group (e.g., the mafia)
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
I can’t trust anyone.
If you let people get close, they will hurt you.
I am broken and defective because of what was done to me.
I can never live a normal life.
People can’t cope with life’s ugliness. If they find out what happened to me, they’ll leave.
God abandoned me.
I can’t control what happens to me. I am helpless.
I am only safe inside my comfort zone.
It’s better to bury what happened than try to move past it.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Being held against their will
Yelling, arguing, or any situation that could escalate to violence
Fire, water, electricity, or specific implements used in the torture
Humiliation
Having their picture taken or being recorded
Being touched
Opening up or sharing personal information with others only to be rejected
Isolation
Having their breathing or movements restricted
People in authority (if the torturers held power or station)
Sex and intimacy
Being alone, or alternatively, being with people or in crowds
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Being startled by sudden movements
Difficulty assigning certainty to anything because one still believes that control is an illusion
Negative self-thoughts
Paying close attention to one’s intuition (e.g., quickly identifying potential threats)
Being confused about one’s self-worth
Staying inside or close to home when one feels overwhelmed or unsafe
Difficulty asking for help
Feeling “apart” from other people (an isolation that comes from one’s experience)
Analyzing the behavior of others; second-guessing their motives
Difficulty enjoying life as one used to
Being affected by the negative or worried moods and feelings of others
Needing space; feeling uncomfortable when people get too close without invitation
Developing an eating disorder
Being prone to an upset stomach, joint pain, and frequent sickness
Hoarding food and resources (if they were associated with one’s ordeal)
Thinking about the same thing obsessively, especially when it is tied to a negative emotion
Having to talk oneself down when anxiety causes a racing heart and restricted breathing
Feeling patronized when people say they understand or that things will get better in time
Worries that can escalate quickly to anxiety or develop into paranoia
Developing PTSD (depression, insomnia, night terrors, panic attacks, flashbacks, etc.)
Feeling overwhelmed by basic tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing
Thoughts of suicide
Difficulty with relationships and connecting to people
Trust issues and a fear of vulnerability
Intense feelings of shame that continue to be present
Struggling with criticism, no matter how well-intentioned
Self-soothing behaviors (stroking one’s forearm, cuddling with a pet, reading a book, wrapping oneself in a blanket, eating a sweet treat, etc.)
Journaling, writing poetry, or penning letters to one’s captors to express emotions
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Alert, analytical, appreciative, cautious, courageous, gentle, introverted, kind, loyal, merciful, nurturing, private, protective, sentimental, socially aware
Flaws: Antisocial, compulsive, controlling, cynical, defensive, fanatical, forgetful, humorless, inhibited, insecure, irrational, needy, obsessive, paranoid, pessimistic
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Reading a story where the character experiences trauma similar to one’s experience
Being accidentally locked inside a room
Nightmares or daytime flashbacks
Seeing blood or bruises on someone’s skin
Power outages; being alone in the dark
Violence or the threat of violence resulting from intolerance, hatred, and persecution
Being touched, especially if it happens unexpectedly
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Being caught in a hostage situation, such as a bank robbery, and having to stay calm to survive
Having a friend or loved one who has experienced trauma and wanting to help guide them through it
Having goals and dreams that are within reach if one can stay optimistic and focused
Meeting someone special and wanting a life with them
Discovering that one is pregnant
Wanting to mentor other survivors and be a role model to give them hope
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
BEING TRAPPED IN A COLLAPSED BUILDING
EXAMPLES: Being trapped in a building that collapses due to…
The floor or ceiling unexpectedly giving way
A tornado’s destructive winds
The building supports shifting after an earthquake
It being condemned
A house fire
An explosion caused by a gas line breach
Age and decay
A terrorist attack
Bombs being dropped in an air raid
A sinkhole opening under the house and causing it to crumble
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
Life could end at any second, so why waste it being responsible and sensible?
I am not safe anywhere.
I need to eradicate all sin from my life or this will happen again (if one is prone to extreme religious ideology).
I cheated death once. It won’t happen again.
Planning for the future is a waste of time.
People are incompetent and not to be trusted (if the collapse was due to human error).
I should have died instead (if loved ones perished in the collapse).
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
The dark (being in basements, parking garages, tunnels, et
c.)
Death by smothering
Being unable to move; not being in control of their body
Squandering a second chance at life by not reaching their full potential
A loved one being the victim of a random accident
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Avoiding buildings that remind one of the event
Refusing to enter a basement or below-ground apartment
Keeping tabs on the weather (if it played a part in causing the original collapse)
Always keeping one’s phone fully charged
Panicking when one is in an MRI machine or other enclosed space
Refusing to enter an elevator
Struggling with survivor’s guilt (if others died in the event)
Suggesting activities with friends that are outdoors or in wide-open spaces
Feeling safer outside than inside
Carrying an inhaler for panic attacks and anxiety
Refusing to live in a home with a basement
Leaving doors and windows open when one is inside
Parking in a lot or at the curb rather than in a garage
Keeping blinds or curtains open so one can see outside
Feeling claustrophobic in rooms without windows
Taking the stairs whenever possible
Changing careers to something that allows one to be outside or on the ground floor of a building
Carrying emergency supplies (a flashlight, water, power bar, etc.) in a purse or backpack
Always needing to know where one’s family members are; frequently checking in via texts or calls
Overseeing the building of a new house so one can be sure it’s safe
Studying building structure so one can identify signs of stress
Recognizing the gift of a second chance and reordering one’s priorities
Living life to the fullest, since no one knows when it will end
Making sure family members and friends know how much they’re loved
Showing gratitude to one’s rescuers
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Alert, appreciative, cautious, generous, humble, inspirational, kind, nurturing, patient, perceptive, philosophical, proactive, protective, spiritual, uninhibited, unselfish
The Emotional Wound Thesaurus Page 40