Utopia Project: Everyone Must Die

by Billy Dering

  “Is that really necessary? I hate to do that to everybody,” Kid noted.

  The entire group agreed that they needed to stay together, including their new companion, Drex.

  “We needed to move anyway. We are too close for comfort here. Everyone grab all of the food.” Jess turned to Maria. “And any medications, and let’s hit the road. After we go to Sara’s house we’ll find a new place to stay.”

  They had to bring along 801, so they just ensured that his hands were still securely bound.

  While opening the shack’s front door, Maria stated, “I hope we find somewhere nicer to stay than this dump…” She stopped as Drex was standing right there.

  “Hey, wait a minute…”

  “Sorry,” Maria said as she urged Drex down the steps, patting his back all the while. “No offense intended.”

  After reaching the sand at the bottom of the steps, Kid saw Brian’s truck parked next to the shack. With thoughts of Sara flooding his brain, the sight of the vehicle zapped him with a stinging reminder. He waved everyone else on, and crawled over to it. Opening the back door, he searched for the jewelry box containing the tribute to Sara’s mother, and found it stuffed into a side-compartment holding the car jack. If he was going to her house, the least he could do was leave it in her room. He grabbed the unwrapped box and almost looked inside, but decided he had no right to. Although Sara would never see it, it was special and was only for her. He stuck the box in his pocket and closed the vehicle door.

  When Kid went to leave, he froze upon hearing a dog barking and then howling in the distance. He instinctively touched his pocket to make sure the pistol was still there. The animal seemed quite far away, so he made his way up the road. With a slow jog, he caught up to the others and they all headed toward Queen Anne.

  Jess pulled into Fort Dix and parked in front of Sara’s house. With everyone waiting in the truck, Kid walked up to the front door and exhaled before opening it. As he stepped inside, he again noticed the laptop computer bag on the dining room table. The bag almost seemed to be ready and waiting for someone, as opposed to being tossed randomly.

  He made for the hallway, pushed open Sara’s bedroom door and immediately felt short of breath. He saw the dramatic mural on the wall behind her bed. The curtains were opened just enough to illuminate the painting of the woman on the dock. She stood facing the full moon with her arms outstretched to her sides. He never realized how hopeless the woman appeared to be. Maybe it was a projection of his own feelings at that moment. Dropping to a knee, he wept without restraint. He knew he wouldn’t be able to contain himself, which was why he wanted to come inside alone. He didn’t want to hold anything back.

  Turning away from her bed, he pulled the jewelry box from his pocket and put it on top of her dresser. Lifting his eyes, he gazed into her large mirror which was cropped on each side by a vertical column of wedged pictures. Although he had been in Sara’s room many times, he had never stopped to look at them all. Many were of him and her, including her copy of the picture tacked on the wall inside Ironside Gun Club. He kissed his fingertip and touched the photograph from ‘the day at the cabin.’

  His eyes then turned and settled on a picture of a woman with brunette hair who he did not recognize. She was holding up a piece of paper that said, ‘Hi Sara!’ Colors jumped off of the print—the deep blue water in the background, and the bright green eyes of the woman in the shot.

  He turned around and dragged himself over to her bed. He picked up her pillow, hugged it tightly, and buried his face. The scent of his soulmate was overpowering. He could smell her skin, her hairspray, her perfume, and even her essence. The pillow lacked only a heartbeat, but his was beating strong and fast enough for the both of them. He sat on Sara’s bed for a solid fifteen minutes, unable to put the pillow down. His mind was scrambled from grief, guilt, regret, and just plain longing. A voice startled him.

  “Kid?” Heidi called out from the foyer.

  He buried his face in the pillow to smell Sara and absorb her fleeting essence one last time. Exhaling with his eyes closed, he called out, “In here.”

  “You’ve been in here a while. We just wanted to make sure you were alright and…” Coming into the doorway, Heidi inhaled sharply. She froze upon seeing the mural on the wall.

  “As well as can be expected. Sorry for taking so long.” He placed Sara’s pillow on the bed.

  “No need to apologize,” she said as she stepped closer to the wall behind the headboard. Gazing at the mural, she said, “That is what Jess and Maria were talking about in the truck. Sara really painted that herself?”

  “Yes, over the course of a month.”

  “That is so deep, so real, so telling…” She reached out to touch it with her fingertips.

  “No!” he snapped, nearly shouting.

  She retracted her hand and seemed taken aback.

  “I’m sorry, Heidi. It’s just that Sara never wanted anyone to touch it. She said the oil from fingers would show up, sometimes weeks later.”

  She backed away from the wall with her hands raised in the air. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

  Realizing he had been too abrupt, Kid put his arm around her as they made for the door. He told her to wait in the foyer and he stayed in Sara’s room a moment more. He needed to say goodbye to his soulmate. “I love you Sara, forever and ever,” he whispered as he blew a kiss and gently closed the door to the sacred vault that was her room.

  Reaching the foyer, he opened the front door and yelled, “Can you give us a few more minutes?”

  Maria popped her head out of the truck window. “Take your time. We are not rushing you.”

  “Yeah, it’s not like we have any plans!” Jess called out.

  Waving, he returned to the foyer and then led Heidi out the back door. “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “Follow me.”

  On the back porch, the Hylands’ had a wooden swing that Kid always found soothing. He sat and let out a sigh. Heidi seemed hesitant so he patted the seat. “Please, take a load off.” She dropped her rear end down, but shimmied away from him. Glancing over, he said, “I know I need another bath, but do I smell that bad?”

  “No, what do you mean?”

  “Why are you sitting so far away, all pushed against the arm over there? You look uncomfortable.”

  She seemed unsure how to respond. “I didn’t want to crowd you. I don’t know, I feel like I’m kind of intruding into your world here.”

  Kid peered at her with his brow pinched, and then it released. “Oh, I get it.” She was referring to his world with Sara. “No, it’s fine. Remember, I’m the one who brought you out here and offered you a seat.” The muscles of her body and face seemed to relax all at once, and she scooted over. “Better?” he asked.

  “Yeah, my arm was actually starting to hurt.”

  Using his feet, Kid pushed the swing until they had a steady sway. “If I don’t say anything, don’t think it is you. I just need a few minutes to free-think.”

  She shrugged. “No problem. I don’t mind the silence.”

  For the next few minutes, Kid thought of Sara, and all that they had been through, from the moment he found her when they met in Vermont until the moment he lost her in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. He had the olfactory recollection of her scent on her pillow. He had said goodbye, but he knew it was not goodbye. It was his way of finally succumbing to the gauntlet that is the grieving process. He had to let go, but he realized what that meant now. He could never actually let her go. What he was releasing was denial and disbelief. It was letting go of the irrational and desperate hope that it is all a bad dream, and that the person is not really gone. It was accepting that she was physically gone, and had passed on. His stomach would turn for a long time with that thought, but he had finally accepted it. He knew he had to move forward, take the pain with him and get through the gauntlet.

  Kid stopped the swing and they both stood up. Walking through the house, he stopped in t
he foyer to ask her a question. Before he could say anything, the front door opened and Jess, Maria, and Drex walked in. They brought 801 along, with his hands still bound.

  “How is it going?” Jess asked. “I know you said you needed a few minutes, but that was a half an hour ago.”

  “Yeah, sorry. I know I am taking forever. I’m trying to come to terms with a lot of things.”

  “We know. And again we’re not pushing,” Maria patted his arm. “We can’t even imagine what you’re going through coming here.”

  “I felt like I had to come back here. But I think I’m ready to go now.”

  Maria tried to smile through the expression of sadness on her face. “Do you mind if we just take a minute to show Drex the mural Sara painted on her wall? We were telling him about it, so he really wanted to see what we were raving about. Plus 801 can see real art.”

  “Sure. We needed another minute to talk anyway.”

  Looking sideways at him, Heidi seemed curious.

  “You know where her room is,” Kid added

  Tip-toeing up the hall, Maria opened Sara’s bedroom door. Drex and 801 followed her in.

  As Kid and Heidi headed for the wide-open front door, they heard Drex’s one word evaluation. “Incredible!”

  Approaching the truck, Kid turned to her. “I wanted to ask you what you are thinking about. You seem pretty lost in your thoughts.” Heidi had not met Kid’s eyes since they sat on the swing, which concerned him. She mostly gazed at the ground in front of her.

  She continued looking down as she answered. “A lot of things, I guess. Growing up, and my father, and how special he made me feel when I was young. When things were perfect. When I really meant something to someone.”

  Kid was curious about her life and history, but now did not seem like the time to ask. Not wanting to step on a landmine, he just said, “You mean something to all of us.”

  She lifted her head up and finally made eye contact. “Even you?”

  “Even me.” His response was genuine.

  Upon realizing that Heidi no longer disgusted him, he felt conflicted and was having a hard time understanding his feelings at that moment. It was guilt, but had he really done anything to feel guilty about? His mental defenses then sprang into action, like conscience-activated perimeter doors automatically slamming shut. It must be the circumstances. There's nobody left, so we have to work together. That is why Heidi, of all people, helped pull me back from the edge when I was dying of a broken heart at the cabin.

  “Do you mean it Kid? Or are you just patronizing me?”

  He decided it was time to let go of his defenses. He allowed the perimeter doors that guarded his heart and soul to rise, and reveal his very raw, but very real, emotions. It was then that Kid realized the pitfall of exposing such a core. He couldn’t rationalize or deceive himself, or make false assumptions as to what lay inside those confines. Not when he had revealed himself. The truth was, he no longer loathed Heidi's very existence. “Yes, I actually do mean it.” He was an open book as he met her blue eyes.

  “Why are you looking at me that way?” She smirked while struggling to put forth a serious expression.

  For some reason, Kid could not speak. He opened his mouth, but could not get any words out.

  The corner of Heidi’s lips straightened and legitimized her serious expression.

  He tried to smile as he stated, “It feels like we've moved past hating each other. We might actually be friends one day.”

  She sighed as they started walking. “Yeah, I guess that’s progress. Rome wasn't built in a day either.”

  As they stepped around the truck, he stopped and hugged her. She really seemed to need it. Maybe he did too. Still trying to shut down the old hate and negative triggers, his action startled even himself. He was so used to avoiding her at all costs. Heidi didn’t say anything, but simply reciprocated and wrapped her arms around him, which surprised him even more.

  Peering out the blinds and seeing Kid and Heidi in an embrace, Jess snap whispered, “Look at that!”

  He startled Maria, who was checking out the pictures wedged into the frame of Sara’s mirror. She whipped around and her elbow knocked the jewelry box Kid had placed on the dresser. Falling to the floor, one corner of the box hit the ground and the lid came flying off, scattering the contents.

  For the first moment in a long time, Kid felt the fog starting to lift. His group had endured so much in the last several days. First the world was forever changed. He still did not know how they survived the cataclysmic event, but he accepted the fact that they may never know. Then they had wound up in one precarious predicament after another, and one life-or-death situation after another, and somehow most of them had survived. He knew that life without Sara would be painful and sad for quite some time, and it was going to be a long road. But he was beginning to accept all that had transpired, and was tapping a hidden well to summon the strength to step forward.

  And then he was frozen by a word not even directed at him.

  “Shit!” Maria yelled after knocking the jewelry box onto the floor, and then too late cupped her hands over her mouth.

  “Relax!” Jess turned. “I saw Kid hug Heidi, and it caught me off guard, that’s all. Who would have thought?”

  She scrambled as she placed the empty jewelry box back on top of the dresser.

  Jess turned back to the window. “Kid and Heidi are coming back in!” he warned.

  Picking up an item that had fallen, Maria said in a low voice, “This was the gift? It’s a men’s watch.” She stuffed it into the box and put the lid back on.

  “Why would he give her a men’s watch?” Jess blurted out.

  “Shh,” she hissed, but it was too late.

  Chapter 35

  January 2, 2045

  Monday, Midafternoon

  Joint Base McGuire–Dix–Lakehurst

  (Fort Dix Army Base), New Jersey

  Seven days after the event

  Kid stepped into Sara’s room.

  Maria had guilt written all over her face. “I was looking at the pictures on the mirror, and Jess startled me because he said… well he startled me, and I knocked the jewelry box off of the dresser when I turned around really fast. I’m sorry Kid. I’ll put the box right back where you left it.”

  “I heard Jess mention a men’s watch?” Kid asked.

  “Yes, it’s in here.” She lifted the lid and held the box out toward him.

  Walking over, Kid took the watch. What struck him was not so much that it was a men’s watch, but that it appeared to be brand new. It did not look like an heirloom or tribute passed down from Sara’s mother who died nearly 20 years ago. Thinking the real gift must still be in the box, he took it from Maria and peeked inside. There was nothing else in there, save for a piece of paper. With trembling fingers, he grabbed it and saw it was a note. After reading it, he dropped the paper back in the box, took a few unsteady steps backward, and plopped down on Sara’s bed.

  “What’s wrong?” Heidi asked. “What did it say?”

  Kid stared up at her blankly.

  Maria picked up the note from the box. “Hard to tell. It’s pretty sloppy,” she commented but read it aloud, deciphering one word at a time.

  ‘Sara, I know what has happened, and that you are scared and confused, but do as I say. Go home immediately and you will find the answers behind the rose.’

  Appearing confused, Maria said, “She had that box all night. How could he know what was going to happen in advance?”

  “And what does he mean, ‘behind the rose’?” Heidi asked. “I didn’t see any roses.”

  Springing up from the bed, Kid ran into the hallway. He stared at the large hanging picture of the tombstone in Georgia marking the grave of Sara’s mother, and General Hyland’s wife. The dim light made the picture seem even more eerie than he remembered it. He slid it to the side and reached into the dark pocket behind. He first pulled out a large, old-fashioned skeleton key. The shape was unmistak
able. Putting it back, he took something larger out before letting the picture swing back to its original position. “There is a rose. You just have to know where to look,” he said as he walked back into Sara’s room.

  “What do you mean?”

  “When I was over here I would sometimes hear strange noises coming from the wall. I thought the house was haunted. But when Sara trusted me enough, she told me what it really was. Her father kept his diary…” Kid held up a black book in his hand, “…in a pocket in the wall, hidden behind the picture of his wife’s tombstone.”

  “What does that have to do with roses?” Jess asked.

  “Both her father and Sara referred to the picture in the hall as just, ‘the rose,’ because of the huge rose that covers the top half of the tombstone. It was Amanda Hyland’s favorite flower.”

  “So the rose he was referring to is actually a picture, and behind the picture, is his diary?”

  Kid nodded as he held the black book in his hand.

  Drex seemed flustered. “Hold on a second. I know I’m late to the party here, but can we take a step back? First of all, what is the deal with the jewelry box?”

  “It was a ‘gift’ for my girlfriend, from her father,” Kid clarified. “She was supposed to open it at exactly 11:03 p.m. the night of destruction. And she did open it, but she was flash blind, so she couldn’t see what was inside. She just felt around and pressed buttons until the watch-alarm shut off.”

  “The gift was an alarm?” Drex looked perplexed.

  Shaking his head, Kid concluded, “The gift had an alarm, to make her open the box and read the note.”

  “Why would he direct her to his diary? And in such a secretive, and cryptic way?”

  “I don’t know, but I suspect we are going to find out.” He looked down at the diary in his hands.

  “Are you going to open it and see what it says?” Maria asked. “See, it has a tab with Sara’s name on it.”

  At that moment, suspicions were swirling around Kid’s mind, each one more frightening than the last. Unable to muster the strength to open it, he put the diary in his pocket. “First things first, we should figure out where we are staying tonight. I can’t read it right now anyway.”