Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  “I noticed.”

  She purses her lips.

  “What’s on your mind, Madison? This is what I’m supposed to do, right? Bartender as therapist?”

  She giggle-snorts and takes another drink of water. Her eyes wander around the bar area, which is completely empty, before landing on me again. She still doesn’t say anything.

  She’s not the first person I’ve waited out before they spill their guts to me—and spill, they all eventually do. I pick up a wine glass from the rack of clean ones that I just washed and dry it while I wait for her. I have several dried and put away before she opens her mouth again.

  “It’s this wedding I’m supposed to go to this weekend. It’s a family deal and probably, like, the eighty-five thousandth since I broke up with Chase.” She rolls her eyes comedically and presses her bow-shaped lips together.

  Her exaggeration has me stifling laughter. So fucking funny. At the same time, though, I understand what she’s saying. Being single sucks, especially at weddings.

  She lifts the glass of water to her plump lips again, and I watch as she takes a sip. Oh, man. I’m unable to control my gaze—it follows every last thing she does with that mouth of hers, like it has me in a trance.

  Continuing on, oblivious to my growing discomfort, she rambles, “I know in the grand scheme of things Chase and I didn’t date all that long, just for a while after college, but it was nice to have him around because I always had someone to go to events with. And here I am, years after we are no longer together, still unattached, attending yet another family wedding alone. This is how you get stuck at the kiddie table, you know? It sucks. It really sucks.” Her teeth trap her lower lip, and she slowly rakes the upper ones over it. I’m completely fucking mesmerized.

  I give myself a quick shake and nod my understanding.

  She barrels on, and I can tell from the downward tilt of her lips that this whole situation has really gotten to her. “The pity party is the worst. I have no doubt I’ll be asked a ton of times about whether I’m seeing anyone, and the looks on their faces when I say, again, ‘No, no one special right now.’ Well, it gets freaking old, Shawn.”

  Out of nowhere, my mouth opens, and I speak before I’ve actually had a chance to think things through. “Why don’t you let me go with you?” I clear my throat, which suddenly feels thick. “I mean, I could—if you wanted me to.” My gaze settles on her, and I wait for it to sink in what I’ve just offered. What the fuck did I just do? Oh, boy.

  I just hate to see her so worked up over something like this because I get it. I truly do. I haven’t dated anyone seriously since Dana. Something in me makes me want to do whatever I can to protect Madison from the hurt of the situation. To some, it may not be a big deal to just go it alone. But for her it is, and that’s all that matters.

  A wide range of emotions surge through her, showing on her face—confusion, embarrassment, and … hope? Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s what that is, and it makes me feel better for offering. Maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea after all.

  Her eyes flicker up to mine, the sheen of what I think are unshed tears in them making the green impossibly vibrant and beautiful. “You’d … you would go with me?”

  I shrug and smile, trying to play it off as no big deal. “Sure. Why not? There probably won’t be any people I know. I love a little road trip. An adventure? Why not?”

  “And you’d …” Her voice hitches, and she pauses, wetting her lips. “You’d pretend to be my boyfriend?” She looks down at the bar as she traces her fingers in the condensation left behind by her water glass.

  I rub my hand over the stubble on my jaw, thinking. I nod. “You’ll have all the other girls jealous. I’ll be such a good fake boyfriend you’ll forget it’s not real.”

  She swallows hard at that last statement, but ignores it in favor of responding to the first thing I said. “I’m not trying to make them jealous.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I wink at her. “They will be. Wait until you see my moves on the dance floor.” I shimmy my hips and do a little spin in front of her.

  She shakes her head with a small chuckle and mumbles to herself, “This has got to be the most insane idea ever.”

  I reach across the bar and touch a finger to her chin to get her to look at me. Mistake. Holy mistake. Energy shoots through my arm and zips along my spine, the room suddenly way too hot. I snatch my hand back and swallow hard, not quite understanding what’s just happened. Doing my best to shake the feeling off, I implore, “Come on—drinks, dancing, people watching, cake? How can we go wrong? And you’ll have your family and all the nosy people off your back because they’ll all think we’re together.” Tilting my head, I watch her for a reaction, pick up another glass, and wipe it dry.

  “Okay.” Her acceptance of my offer is no more than a whisper swept away by the wind that has begun to howl outside. “Put your number into my phone for me, would you?” She pats herself down until she finds it and slides it across the bar to me.

  I plug my number in and then text myself so I have hers. “Done. Now, how about we get you home?”

  Chapter 3

  Madison

  When I wake in the morning with only a slight pounding in my head, I know I have Shawn to thank. He’d driven me home, then made sure I drank another bottle of water and had some ibuprofen before he left. I think I remember him saying something about how it would be a rough last day before vacation if I had to go to work hungover. My brain ticks around for a second as I lie in bed for the last few minutes before my alarm goes off. He’d said he’d text me about the details for this weekend.

  Wait. This weekend! Had I imagined all that? Had I really agreed to have him attend this wedding with me … as my fake boyfriend? My throat goes dry as I scramble through the events of the previous evening in my head, trying to remember every little bit of our conversation after Sophia, Quinn, and Heath had left the bar.

  It had been his idea, if I remember correctly. He’d seemed like he genuinely wanted to help. And now I can’t help but wonder—is he really going to follow through? It’s not like we knew each other that well before, and I haven’t spoken to him since I split with Chase.

  Oh God, what was I thinking? We’re going to attempt to fake a relationship in front of my entire family. How would this possibly work?

  I suddenly feel like I may throw up, and it’s not because of the drinking last night. I’m nervous.

  My ex’s best friend. My ex’s very hot best friend. And I’ve agreed to let him pretend to love me this weekend. A swift rush of heat washes over me, warming parts of my body better left unmentioned.

  No one—and I mean no one—knows this, but I’d totally had a little crush on him in high school. Nothing ever came of it. Of course it hadn’t because I hadn’t done anything about it. He was a cute, sweet guy, and always seemed just a little out of my reach. He was the nice person who’d help the music teacher after school. He’d held doors for people. He’d been the one who’d say hello to the new kid in the hallway. He was a kindhearted guy, if a little broody at times. I’d always just chalked that up to his musician’s heart because, man, had he played a mean guitar.

  Then the next time Shawn and I’d circled in the same orbit, I’d been dating his best friend. A friend had introduced me to Chase, and I remember thinking it was funny I’d never really noticed him in high school. I’d been so into Shawn, Chase had paled in comparison. Imagine my surprise when my crush showed up at the bar to meet us and hang out. It was like the wind had been knocked straight out of me. Fate is cruel sometimes. I’d stuffed my schoolgirl feelings down, all lingering thoughts about Shawn buried deep.

  I’d kept my distance as much as possible for a while. But when I’d heard Shawn was involved with a nice girl, I’d breathed a sigh of relief. At least there would be no more awkward outings with just the three of us. We’d even hung out as a foursome once or twice. I hadn’t been jealous of his sweetness with her. Nope, not at all. Liar.

 
I’d been shocked only a few months later when I’d found out Shawn had cheated on Dana. It had seemed so out of character, but I’d seen the evidence with my own eyes, and Chase had casually shrugged his shoulders, like it was a normal thing for a guy to do.

  Who knows what causes people to cheat anyway; I’d certainly never thought Chase would do that to me, but eventually he had.

  Men, they kind of suck. The whole situation made me overly cautious to date or get close to anyone.

  I’ve even continued to live in the same town as Shawn for over two years now and have barely even seen him. Maybe in the back of my head, I’ve avoided him, not wanting to deal with what I knew he’d done.

  That all happened years ago, though, and I’ve changed since then—grown up—so maybe Shawn has, too. And here he is, offering me a solution to my embarrassing single-lady issue … and he’s even being nice about it.

  I roll over to grab for my phone off the nightstand. It’s not like I’m actually dating him. Just fake dating. He’ll be my fake boyfriend and I’ll be his fake girlfriend, and I guess we’ll see how many people we can manage to fool. It’d seemed like he was into it, maybe even a little excited about it. When he’d said the other girls would all be jealous, his bright blue eyes had held mine so steadily, willing me to say yes. So I’d agreed, somehow strangely affected by him after all these years.

  Besides, I’d have been a fool to pass up the chance to walk into a wedding on his arm. To show everyone that Madison Green really isn’t the loser who can’t seem to find the right guy.

  Even so … I blow out a quick breath. I should give him an out. Maybe he’d suggested it assuming I’d say no or that I’d say he was off his rocker, completely disregarding the offer. Oh God, what if he feels sorry for me? The thought makes my mood sour, and I grimace as I tap out a text to him.

  Me: Hey, it’s Madison. Thanks for getting me home last night.

  My fingers feel damp with nervous sweat, and I hesitate over what message to send next. I bite my lip, and will the sharp sting in my nose to disappear. I’m not going to cry over letting him off the hook. This is stupid.

  Me: I wanted you to know that I appreciate your offer, but you don’t have to go with me to the wedding.

  My alarm goes off, and I silence it, rolling out of bed. There. I guess that does it. I stumble to my closet, eyes still a little bleary with sleep. I pull out my NHS sweatshirt along with a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and undergarments and lay them out on the bed. We’re allowed to dress down the day before break, which is good for me given my current state of mind. Yawning, I hustle to the bathroom for a quick shower.

  I set my phone on the counter, mumbling all the while about how I’ll probably end up awkward and alone in a corner at this stupid wedding.

  Just as I strip out of my T-shirt and sleep shorts, my phone lights up with an incoming text. I go ahead and turn the shower on, then pick up my phone again to look at the text while I wait for the water to heat.

  Shawn: Good morning. Feeling okay today?

  Me: I’m fine. But if you’ve decided you had an out-of-body moment and hadn’t realized what you were offering …

  I bite my lip. Why does it make me feel so damn sad that I’m trying to make him change his mind about going? I hold my fingers under the spray of the water. Hot. I pull my hand back out and take a quick second to finish my thought.

  Me: I’m okay with that.

  I set the phone on the counter and hurriedly step under the hot spray of water. I make quick work of shampooing my thick hair, then apply a handful of conditioner to the long curls, winding them around and piling them high on top of my head. When I pick up the shower pouf and body wash, I realize my hands are shaking. What the hell? It’s not that big of a deal. He doesn’t have to go with me. I’m okay. Strong, independent female right here, folks.

  I sniffle. Oh, Madison. You are such a bad liar.

  I’m actually terrified that he’ll back out, and I’m the one who suggested I’d be fine if he didn’t come with me. Stupid.

  It’ll be nothing when he backs out, Madi. Just one more blow to your already fragile ego. You’ll go to this wedding alone and just tell everyone to eff off. It’ll be fine.

  It may sound fine to the logical part of my brain, but by the time I get out of the shower, tears are leaking from my eyes, and my nose is bright red when I look at my reflection in the mirror. I take a second to blot my eyes and blow my nose before looking at myself again.

  Crap. Nothing like going to school on the last day before break looking exactly like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. My shoulders slump as I dry myself off, my pep talk in the shower having done no damn good at all.

  I wipe my fingers under my eyes, and notice my phone is lighting up again. When I thumb it open, I’m surprised by the quantity of texts.

  Shawn: I knew what I was offering.

  Shawn: I’m going with you. It’ll work out, you’ll see.

  Shawn: I’m very charming. And a good dancer.

  It looks like he’d stopped there to wait for me to respond, and when I hadn’t, another set of texts had come in. Oops.

  Shawn: Madison?

  Shawn: Hey, are you okay over there?

  Shawn: Don’t make me come check on you.

  I huff out a frantic breath, and finally realize if I don’t respond, he’s likely to march right over here, and I don’t have time for that. I’ve got to get to work.

  Me: Sorry, I was in the shower. You understand that we’ll have to act like we’re really together, right?

  Me: Like together, together.

  Me: Otherwise, I’m just the loser who doesn’t have a boyfriend and had to ask an old friend to be her date to a wedding.

  Ugh. Madison, how do you manage to get yourself into these messes? I wrap a towel around myself and head back to my bedroom where I slip into my panties and bra, then sit down on my bed to pull on my jeans and throw first my T-shirt and then my sweatshirt over my head.

  Shawn: I understand perfectly well what we’d be doing. And you aren’t a loser, Madison.

  I press my lips together. He’s being so damn nice I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t. I gather up my things and take off for school. The whole way there, my mind is all twisted up as I try to decide if I’m being silly or taking this too seriously or what. I can’t figure myself out.

  Deciding I need help with this whole situation, I shoot off a quick message to Sophia.

  Me: Can you come see me when you get to school?

  Me: I think Shawn is coming with me to the wedding.

  Me: I’m freaking out.

  Sophia: Whaaaa? See you in a bit.

  Upon entering the building, I wave at students, make small-talk with other teachers, and check my box in the office, all while inwardly panicking about whether or not to have Shawn come with me. Oh, and whether or not I still look like Rudolph. Ugh.

  When I get to the library, I sit down behind my desk, exhaling loudly. I think I’m finally ready to give him the green light. I just hope I’m not getting in over my head.

  Me: Okay. Think of all the things you’d know about me if we were together. We can discuss them on the drive. I’ll do the same.

  Shawn: Logistics?

  Me: Meet this afternoon, drive up, wedding is Saturday, late afternoon. Stay over again.

  Shawn: So, two nights? What am I getting into?

  Me: Crap. Is that too much to ask? I mean, we could come back—

  Abort mission. Why did I think this was a good idea? Had I even mentioned to him that the trip was overnight? Over two nights?

  “Hey, Madison. How’s the margarita brain this morning?”

  My head shoots up to find Sophia perched on the other side of my desk. I guess I was so involved in the arrangements with Shawn that I hadn’t heard her sneak in like a quiet little cat.

  I press one hand to my chest, gasping for air. “You scared me.”

  She wrinkles her nose. “Whatcha doing there?” Her head bobs in the
direction of my phone.

  I grimace. “Nothing really. Just talking to Shawn.”

  “Nice. So, whose idea was this?”

  I clamp my teeth together and suck in some air as I peer up at her. “Um. It was his …”

  Her lips tip up into a grin. “It’s okay if you like him, you know. He’s a nice guy.”

  I glance back down at my phone to see another response. I hold up a finger to Sophia. “Give me a sec.”

  Shawn: I’m messing with you. I’m fine getting back on Sunday. I’ll make sure all the shifts at the bar are taken care of. No worries at all.

  Me: See you after school, then. I’m done at one. I can come by the bar when I’m ready. Your car or mine?

  Shawn: We can take my truck. See you soon.

  My heart hammers behind my rib cage, and when I go to set my phone down in front of me, it clatters on the desktop. I draw my shaky hand back and into my lap where Sophia can’t see it.

  “Miss Green, what aren’t you telling me?”

  I look up, trying to plaster on my most innocent face. “Um. Well, there’s a thing or two you don’t know.”

  Sophia’s eyes widen. “Tell me everything.”

  Chapter 4

  Shawn

  Friday mornings and afternoons are fairly quiet at the bar. There’s only one person who regularly shows up before four. The bell above the door jingles. Today, he’s earlier than normal because of the one o’clock release for the students.

  Heath strolls in and slaps his hands on the bar. “Hey, bro.” He slides onto the barstool across from where I’m diligently slicing fruit for cocktails. “What’s this I hear about you going to some wedding this weekend?”