Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  The heat emanating from her focus blows across the room, almost suffocating me, and makes me roll the condom on faster than I’ve ever done before. In a flash, I’m back between her legs, my cock achingly close to heaven.

  My lips find hers again, tongues stroke, hearts race, bodies strain to be ever closer to each other.

  I may go out of my mind if I’m not inside her soon. Between us, I reach my hand down, stroking my fingers through her arousal again, playing with her sweet pussy, making sure she’s ready for me.

  “Shawn. I need you. I need this. Please …” Her words are punctuated by gasps and low moans.

  I stare into her eyes, and the need in them chokes me up. In response, I enter her in one smooth stroke, filling her completely. I duck my head down next to her ear to whisper, “Madison, I hope you’re ready for this. Because I intend to love your body all night long.”

  Her breath stutters out, chest heaving. “You’re so—”

  Chapter 19

  Madison

  Holy shit. “Big. Oh my God.” I can’t even draw a full breath as I try to adjust to the sensation of being so incredibly full.

  Stifling a laugh, Shawn withdraws and eases back inside me before he takes my head between his hands and nuzzles my nose with his. “Are you okay?”

  “I think so,” I gasp as he strokes into me again. “Oh my God. I mean, yes.” Uneven breaths flutter across my lips as I become accustomed to his size and the pace he is setting.

  He thrusts into me, powerful and sure, owning every piece of me. I arch my back, wanton, needing to feel him everywhere, and it seems to spur him on. Just when I think I can’t possibly handle any more, he reaches between us, and rubs the flat of his fingers over my clit, circling, gliding, caressing. My moans turn into strangled, needy cries.

  “Shawn. Shawn. You’re going to make me come.” The release coils in my belly so tightly I feel like I’m about to black out. All I see is him. All I feel is him. All I want is him. My heart aches with the realization, and I hope he feels even a fraction of what I do.

  A wash of tingles spreads from my extremities inward, all leading to my pulsing core as the orgasm sweeps over me. I see stars—brilliant, bright flashes behind my eyelids. Shawn raises his upper body from me and kneels between my legs, fingers still working their magic, cock still sliding in and out of me, though at a slower pace, as if his goal is to prolong my pleasure.

  When I open my eyes, he’s looking down at me in wonder.

  He speaks in a ragged whisper. “That was the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I’ve witnessed in my entire life.”

  Feelings pour freely from his musician’s soul, his words winding their way around my heart and squeezing tightly. “So beautiful, Butterfly.”

  He lowers himself back to me, hooks each of my legs over his arms, spreading them wide. He lavishes my mouth with drugging kisses, kisses that touch me so deeply on an emotional level, I only want more of them, of him. I can’t concentrate. With his tongue in my mouth and his cock stroking deep inside of me, something unlocks and I give myself over to him, trusting him fully with my body.

  Shawn has made me want him. And I want him shamelessly.

  He pants above me, low, guttural groans ripping from him. Sheer ecstasy, that’s all I feel, and it’s matched in his expression. My name tumbles from his lips as he finds his release. Naked emotion swims freely in his eyes when he stares down into mine.

  “Madison, what have you done to me?”

  He’s so raw in this moment, completely swept away with me, I can’t handle it. My trembling hand cups his stubbled cheek, and I shake my head. “I don’t know, Shawn.” I take a deep, shuddery breath. “But whatever I did to you, you’ve done to me, too.”

  I awaken an hour before dawn, wrapped up in Shawn’s embrace, secure within the steel bands of his arms. He’d loved me so well, I’d slipped into slumber thinking only of him and how he’d made me feel. A secret smile spreads across my face as I recall how we’d managed to have sex on just about every available surface of our tiny hotel room, including one final time in the shower before we fell into the bed, fully satiated. I let out a sleepy sigh as I shift around, trying to get comfortable. My muscles are sore in that delicious whoa, haven’t used those in a while way. Shawn had taken me, made me his in every way I could have hoped for. I relish the soreness in my limbs and the abrasions all over my skin from his stubble-coated jaw. If I have any question as to where his lips had been last night, all I have to do is look at the road map left on my body. Not wanting to wake Shawn, I stifle a giggle at my naughty musings.

  I’m in a fairly blissed-out state thinking about Shawn until I wind the clock back further and my mind starts processing the last twelve hours. It hits me like a ton of bricks what a tangled mess last night was. Chase showing up? I hadn’t expected that. It honestly never crossed my mind that he’d be invited to the wedding. Stupid of me to be caught off guard? Yeah, maybe. But no more stupid than it had been for Chase to think he had any right to speak to me, much less to be upset by seeing me with Shawn. That bastard had strolled right up to me as if anything he had to say would matter to me—which it didn’t—until he admitted that he’d cheated on me with that Laurie girl.

  I won’t lie. It’d stung quite a bit hearing it straight from Chase’s mouth. But the fact that Shawn had had my back, both literally and figuratively, helped a great deal in lessening the blow I may have felt otherwise.

  Thank goodness he’d been with me and I hadn’t come alone. I can only imagine what a different path my weekend would have taken if that had been the case. Without Shawn lending me his strength, it’s entirely possible I’d still be crying over everything.

  Fortunately for me, that’s not how it had gone down, and the pain I’d felt at Chase’s admission had fallen away completely in Shawn’s arms on the dance floor. The fake portion of our relationship had come to an abrupt end when I’d asked him point blank if he’d kiss me. I can’t say how long it would have taken me and Shawn to admit our feelings for each other if things had gone differently. Maybe days. Maybe weeks? Maybe never.

  I shift, thoughts of Chase with yet another girl making my stomach roil, and reposition my head on Shawn’s chest. I breathe in his scent, trying to pull my thoughts away from the chaos of last night and back to what we’d discovered in each other instead. It’s like a dream—a very hot, very sexy dream. I press a kiss to his chest, his flesh warm against my lips, and snuggle against his side.

  I’ve never been a fan of thinking everything happens for a reason, but in this case, I’m grateful. Maybe it always should have been me and Shawn together.

  “You awake?” Shawn lightly trails a path up and down my arm with his fingertips. Even all the little things he does make me feel good.

  I nod. “Yes. I woke up and couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened earlier.” I pause, swallowing hard. “With Chase, I mean.”

  A rumbling sound reverberates through Shawn’s chest. “He just isn’t the same guy I knew in high school. I don’t know what he did or who he came into contact with when he went away to college, but I wish I understood it because it cost me a good friend.”

  “And I was just dumb enough to hook up with him at the wrong time.” I bow my head, chin to my chest.

  “Maybe so.” He gently squeezes me to him and presses a kiss to my forehead. “The ‘wrong time’ part, not the ‘dumb’ part.” He chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s really not funny.”

  I lift my head and give him a quick grin. “I love that you make the hardest situations seem so much easier, like it’s no big deal. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side.”

  “And I’m glad you see yourself for the wonderful, strong woman you are when you’re with me. A man should be able to do that for his woman.”

  His sweet words make me feel warm and happy inside. “You’re a good man. You should write a song about that.”

  “Maybe someday,” he murmurs, lips drifting into my ha
ir.

  We lie there quietly for a few minutes, but I just can’t let it go yet. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course. Ask me anything.”

  “I can’t make sense of people who cheat. What makes anyone think that’s okay to do to someone else? I feel gross knowing that he was having sex with other women behind my back.”

  Shawn grumbles, “He’s disgusting. You shouldn’t think about it anymore.”

  “I just—”

  “No.” He cuts me off with a wave of his hand through the air above us. “You want to know why he was so mad when he saw us? He knows he let the best woman ever slip through his fingers, and it’s all his fucking fault.”

  I bite my lip and glance up at his tense face. “You’re right. It is. And, um …” I sit up, drawing the sheet up to my chest. I owe Shawn an apology for assuming he was a cheater. I feel the sting signaling the approach of tears in my nose, my eyes fill, and I cover my face. I can’t believe all the ramifications of what I’d done are only just occurring to me.

  Shawn’s quick to sit up. “What’s this? Hey, hey, hey.” He hushes me and tugs me onto his lap.

  I can’t speak, my throat is so clogged with remorse. Not only had Shawn not cheated, but I’d meddled in his relationship with Dana for nothing. Nothing. If I’d known the truth …

  I hiccup my way through a good bout of tears before I can say anything. My words come out watery with plenty of stutters. “I-I kept trying to figure ou-out how someone like you would d-do that to Dana. H-how could he? How c-could Ch-Chase just let you take the heat for it?” I sniffle and sputter. “He’s such an ass.” I cringe, knowing I will eventually need to tell him the full reason why I’m so deeply affected by this.

  “You can say that again. He is an ass. He needed to hide from you what he’d done. He panicked, I guess.” Shawn shrugs, tightening his hold on me.

  “And y-you got caught up in the m-middle of it.” Oh, I’m going straight to hell. Tell him. Guilt crashes over me.

  “I did, indeed. Dana and I, both. But you know, it was really odd. She wouldn’t listen to a word I said, just kept repeating that she knew I’d fucked some girl in Chase’s truck.”

  My face screws up as I try to recall every detail of what I knew.

  “Remember that concert you didn’t go to because you were sick? That’s when it happened. He was with some girl in his truck, and she must have lost a bracelet in the process. Then I guess you found it?”

  I stiffen and nod. Yep, I’d found it all right. I’d also been an idiot and assumed my boyfriend told me the truth, even though I couldn’t reconcile what he told me about Shawn. I look down at my hands, which are twisting furiously together in my lap. My stomach is sick with regret. Oh God, oh God, I totally broke them up by telling her he’d been the one to fool around. I’m officially the worst person ever.

  I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him? Will he be upset that I was the one who’d blabbed to Dana? Will it destroy everything we’ve just found in each other?

  “And I imagine Chase fed you the line that it was me who’d cheated on Dana instead of admitting what he’d done. Do I have that right?”

  Shawn’s phone vibrates next to us on the bedside table. He reaches over, without waiting for my response. I wait while he looks at the message. I have to tell him.

  I’m going to throw up. Oh, God. I hurriedly whisper, “I’ll be right back,” and climb out of the bed, hand over my mouth, and make a beeline for the bathroom.

  Inside, I drop to my knees in front of the toilet not a moment too soon. The tile floor is ice cold, but I don’t even care. I wretch up the contents of my stomach as it churns and purges over and over again.

  “Madi?” A light knock sounds on the other side of the door. “You okay, baby?”

  I can’t answer, I’m too busy silently sobbing into my hands, tears streaking down my cheeks.

  “That was Heath. He and Sophia are worried about the weather forecast for today. It looks like this snowstorm has the potential to be really nasty, and they’re concerned we’d get trapped here.” There’s silence for a few seconds on the other side of the door, and my mind scrambles to figure out what to do.

  Chapter 20

  Shawn

  I don’t know what’s going on in the bathroom, but I decide to give Madison a few minutes.

  The worry had bled right out of Heath’s text message. Anyone who has lived in the New England area for any length of time knows the potential for how crazy a nor’easter can get, and this one is ramping up to be a doozy. I throw my clothes haphazardly into my bag, both off the floor and from my drawer. When I’m done, I set that and my guitar on the bed. Everything I’d brought with me, with the exception of my toiletries which are in the bathroom with Madison, is packed and ready for us to roll out.

  I tap on the door again. “Madison? Baby, we’ve got to get on the road.”

  The door unlocks with a click and swings open. Madi gestures with one hand that I can come in. She finishes brushing her teeth, and whirls toward me, panic in her eyes. “We’ve got to go?”

  I nod. “Yeah. Unless you want to get stuck here with me.” There’s something in her eyes, in the pallor of her skin. Something’s not right. My brow furrows as I study her further. Her face is drawn, chin wobbling a bit. I think she’s been crying, and she’s desperately trying to hide it from me. This can’t be good. I run my hands through my hair and exhale in a whoosh that comes out half-chuckle. “Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad—to be stuck here together, I mean.” I poke her in the side, trying to make her laugh.

  Instead of the reaction I expect, she rushes around the room, gathering up her things. She’s panicked, flustered, a bona fide hot mess. I give myself a quick shake, unsure what to do to help her.

  Two minutes later, we’re both dressed and take one last look around the room to make sure we’re leaving nothing behind, and then we are out the door.

  I hazard a look at Madi and don’t like the intense expression I see on her face. It’s as if she’s worrying herself to death over something. We’ve only been on the road about ten minutes, in which time she hasn’t looked at me once but continues to shoot off texts to her parents and brother. The silence between us is like a huge empty cavern. Echoes of last night bounce between us. I don’t think I’d said anything to upset her. She’d been asking about cheaters and Chase, and I just don’t get why she’s freaking out. She knows now that I never cheated. I tug on my hair with my free hand, working my head side to side.

  Seeing my former best friend last night had been quite the surprise, but the honest truth is that I’m so far over it, so far past his douchebaggery, that it hadn’t really affected me. Of course, I hadn’t been blindsided by anything he’d said the way Madi had been. I should have told her. Shit. Maybe that’s what this is all about.

  I grip the wheel tightly, peeking over at Madison out of the corner of my eye as snow starts to swirl around us. It’s not bad out yet, but it could go from nothing to insanity pretty fast.

  I clear my throat, swallowing the lump lodged there. When I look over at her again, her focus is out the side window.

  “Butterfly, would you look at me, please?”

  She sniffles and turns to me, and the sadness in her eyes is like a knife in my chest. Fucking hell. She’s not just having a minor freak-out, she’s well and truly upset.

  Her voice is soft, no more than a whisper. “You should keep your eyes on the road. It looks like it’s going to be a rough ride.” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

  “Okay, but would you talk to me, please? Are you not feeling well?” I grimace as I stare out the windshield, snow coming at us like we’re flying through space.

  “I’m fine.”

  Oh, boy. That’s exactly what I didn’t want to hear, the dreaded “I’m fine.” I work my jaw back and forth before finally biting the bullet. “Madi, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you that Chase had cheated on you with that girl. I see now that I should have
. I don’t owe him a goddamn thing, and you—” My voice hitches. “You mean a lot to me.”

  She sniffles again, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a tear slip down the side of her face. I want so badly to reach out to her, to stop the goddamn truck and haul her into my arms, make sure she knows I mean what I say and I’m sorry. My chest tightens. The soft sounds of her distress threaten to send me over the edge.

  “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

  We drive in silence for another several minutes. I want to mull over what else could possibly be wrong, but frankly, I can’t concentrate well because the storm has hit hard, and I can barely see ten feet in front of the truck. Snow coats the road, and my knuckles are white with how hard I grip the wheel. If I could just find somewhere to stop, anywhere safe, I’d do it. Unfortunately, the only place I’d seen had been a gas station, and it hadn’t seemed like as much of an emergency at the time.

  Another glance at Madison tells me she at least understands our current predicament. Her back has gone ramrod straight and her fingers grip the edge of her seat. I’m suddenly very aware that I hate that she’s afraid. I don’t care what happens to me, so long as I get her out of this.

  And just like that, like I brought it on with my thoughts, we hit black ice. My heart clenches as the tires of the truck spin without getting any traction. I’ve lived in New England for a long time. I know what to do and what not to do in situations like this, and yet, nothing seems to help as we skid and finally slide off the road into a ditch. The storm continues to rage around us, uncaring.

  Once the vehicle is at a dead stop, I whip my head in Madison’s direction. Her eyes are pinched closed, her face a mask of terror. She’s frozen in place. Anxious to get to her, I unbuckle myself and flip the center console up and back out of the way, sending my wallet, hat, and gloves that had been sitting on it flying into the back seat. I slide across the bench seat to her. “Madi, baby, are you okay?” The tone in my voice is full of panic, which kind of pisses me off because normally I handle shit like this better. But—I draw three deep breaths in to calm myself—she’s scared, and I’d do anything to wipe that look off of her face.