Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  I lift her, and her legs lock around my hips. My fingers grip her lush ass cheeks, and I groan out my pleasure at the feel of her in my hands, then press her back to the wall. I drop hurried kisses over her breasts, all while she grinds against me. Her back arches, seeking out that perfect angle, the friction she needs.

  I spin to the bed with her, laying her down in the center. She whimpers and squeezes her legs together, as if she’s trying to soothe the building pressure deep inside. She reaches for me, but I shake my head.

  “Nope. My turn.” I raise a brow at her and tilt my head to the side. And, if her mouth on me wasn’t enough to do it, I know for sure she’s the one for me when she gazes into my eyes, draws her legs up, and drops her knees open wide. Just. For. Me.

  Her pussy is so goddamn wet, it sends a jolt of lust straight down my spine. My cock aches to be inside of her.

  I run my hands from her knees up the insides of her legs, her soft skin so tantalizing, I bend at the waist and run my nose along one of those long legs until I get to the juncture of her thigh. My tongue darts out, and I lick along the tendon, toward the aroused flesh of her sex. I stop just shy of it, move to the other side and do the same.

  At this point, she’s writhing on the bed, moaning.

  “Please, Shawn.”

  “Please what, Butterfly?”

  She throws her head back. “Touch me.” Her breasts bounce as she pants.

  I drop a kiss to her knee. “Here?”

  “Ah. No.”

  I kiss her belly. “How about there?” My warm breath cascades over her center as I angle my head down.

  “No.” She locks gazes with me. “Your mouth. On me now.”

  “Ah. All you had to do was ask.” My tongue swipes over her clit before traveling over every inch of her sensitive flesh.

  “Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  “Madi?” I lift my head, my fingers replacing my tongue, sliding through her arousal. “I need to be inside of you. Right. The fuck. Now.” I can only describe what just came out of my mouth as a growl. I swipe a condom out of my bag, roll it on, and with no pretense whatsoever, slide deep inside her.

  Her muscles clamp down on me, and I pause, waiting for her body to adjust.

  I kiss her softly at first, let my lips wander over her, finding all of her secret places—that little spot behind her ear that makes her sigh, the place at the hollow of her throat that makes her moan and squirm beneath me.

  And then she rocks against me, takes me deeper, and blows my mind. I kiss her with urgency. With possession. Like she’s mine and I’m hers and this is forever.

  I want this woman. I want to know her intimately—all her joys, all her secrets, all her fears. In her eyes, I see what could be a future, and that simultaneously makes me happy and freaks me the fuck out. Are we ready for that? It’s only been one whole damn weekend, and she already has me. I’m locked up, key thrown away.

  At that thought, I thrust harder, pound into her sweet body, and swallow her cries of ecstasy. I claim her as mine with every stroke, with every beat of my heart. And then I’m spinning out, just like she’d asked. We’re out of control, and I don’t ever want to stop. I growl in satisfaction as I tip her hips up just right. She arches her back in response, her whole body coiled tight, and then she breaks, her hips rolling over and over, waves of sinful pleasure cascading over her. The release is long and drawn out, her muscles spasm, and, holy fuck, it feels like she’s milking my cock. I explode, her name a choked roar from my lips.

  I fall onto her, hold her tight, and breathe her in. Mine. She sighs softly beneath me.

  “You make me feel so good, Shawn.”

  I kiss her nose. “Always my goal. Be right back.” I climb out of the bed and head for the bathroom to clean up. When I come back out, she smiles softly at me, lifting the covers and inviting me back in with her. There’s a hint of something else in her eyes, a kind of wistfulness, a worry of some sort. Whatever it is, I hope she’ll share it with me when she’s ready. Until then, I’ll hold her close to me, and maybe that will be enough to ease her mind.

  Lying together, tangled in the sheets, I let my thoughts drift. How’d we go from friends to fakers to lovers in the blink of an eye? How is it possible that I’ve fallen like this? So hard, so fast, so completely. I’d say it was the freaking stellar sex because she’s amazing, but I’ve had good sex before. It was nothing like this. I’m no idiot. I’m pretty sure it’s like this because I’ve gone and gotten my damn heart involved.

  “Shawn?”

  I shift my head, my voice low next to her ear. “Yeah, baby?”

  “Would you play something on your guitar for me?”

  My brow creases, not knowing where the sudden request came from. Her eyes plead with me, and I can’t deny her, so I unwrap myself to fetch the guitar, bringing it back to the bed. I plant myself on the edge next to her. My fingers do their own thing, picking out chords and notes, sometimes strumming other times plucking at the strings, until I settle into the music and let it take me away. The melody I’d been playing around with yesterday comes to me, and I play that for her. I’m humming along as bits and pieces of lyrics skate around in my mind, but even more than that, it’s a feeling for the song that is coming to me out of nowhere, winding right around my heart.

  Madison sits up in the bed and scoots behind me, a leg on either side of mine. She sets her hands at my waist and lays her cheek against my back. She hums along as she picks up on the tune.

  After a while, I stop and set the guitar aside. She whispers at my back, “And to think this will eventually be a song I’ll be able to sing with you. Shawn, you’re so incredibly talented. You know that, right?”

  I shrug, trying to brush off the compliment. Music has always come naturally to me.

  “No, really. You’re very good. Where do you get ideas for your songs?”

  “Mostly from stories people tell me.”

  She nods against my back. “Not from the financial advisor gig, huh?”

  “Nope.”

  “Shawn, I hope I’m not overstepping here, but—” She pauses to adjust her position and sit at my side. “I think you should go for it. Screw the degree. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes your heart sing.”

  That same muscle in my chest expands and pumps harder at her words. I rasp, “You think I could?”

  “I know you could. Maybe it’s time for you to take a leap. I used to listen to you when you were just a kid and knew then you had all this talent just waiting to be discovered.” Her palm glides over my back, and she presses a kiss to my bicep before resting her cheek there. She sighs, “I had such a crush.” The minute the words leave her lips, she tenses next to me.

  I don’t think she meant to tell me that. “Um, excuse me, what did you just say, Butterfly?”

  “Oh. Well …”

  “You had a crush on me?”

  Chapter 23

  Madison

  I can’t believe I just freaking told him that. I tilt my head up to look directly into those soulful blue eyes. His expression is one of surprise and … delight? “Um. So. Yeah, maybe I did. You were one of those unattainable guys who I put up on a pedestal. Shawn Mitchell. So handsome with that chiseled face, those stunning baby blues, and the way you played your guitar … Oh my God, you were the star of all my teenage fantasies.”

  He shakes his head, a bewildered look on his face. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? You never even approached me. Never looked my way, as far as I knew.”

  I squirm next to him as he puts an arm around me, tugging me close. “I was just a silly girl who didn’t know how to talk to guys. I wanted to get to know you so badly, but I didn’t know how to talk to you. We didn’t know each other. You never even noticed me.”

  Shawn startles me with a deep, rumbling laugh. “Are you kidding? I noticed you. I didn’t think I had a shot because every time we were in the same room you wouldn’t even look at me.”

  I raise a careful hand to my temp
le, rubbing my fingers around in a circle. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Nope.” He laughs again.

  “Well, crap. I’ve never told anyone I felt that way. I just stewed, obsessed with the way you played that guitar with those big hands of yours and wished in my bed at night that you’d play me.”

  He purses his lips for a second. “So, you liked me, but then we went off to college without ever mentioning it. And then you were with Chase.”

  I groan. “Don’t remind me. I feel so stupid right now. I was just so timid around guys.” I shake my head. “And then along came Chase, and I’d thought he was so great, and he treated me well at first. I thought he was what I wanted. I thought the timing was perfect. Both of us had graduated, and I’d thought things were heading in a particular direction. I’d started to see a future with him. Maybe that’s why he cheated—maybe he sensed what I wanted and he wasn’t ready to settle down.”

  Shawn’s guttural tone hits me deep. “No. Don’t you ever think that. He cheated because he’s an asshole. No other reason.”

  I swallow hard. “Maybe he knew he wasn’t the one for me and did it to push me away.”

  “Maybe. Either way, you’re better off.” He presses a kiss to the side of my head, his fingers curling around the back of my neck, threading in the curls of my hair. A heavy sigh leaves him. “And then there was Dana, too.”

  “Yeah.” My hearts squeezes so tightly in my chest, I have to ask. “You loved her?”

  “I did.” His gruff voice is filled with what I know is pain—pain he carries around—he tries to hide it, but I know it’s there. And it’s my fault.

  I’m barely able to control my internal freak-out as I sit there by his side. My heart is pinging around in my chest, nervous and unsure how to do it, but I know that I have to tell Shawn I’m the person who was instrumental in his breakup with Dana. I can’t carry this burden, can’t hide this secret from him forever.

  I want whatever this is between us to work so badly, but I’m terrified that once I tell him, we’ll be over. I work a swallow past the lump in my throat. “Do you ever get to the point where you just don’t know what to do? Which way to go, what to say because you know certain things could change your whole life? And if you make a mistake …” My voice trails off as the rest of my thoughts get caught in the knot in my chest.

  I’ve got to tell him. Even if it turns out to be the biggest mistake and biggest regret of my life.

  A knock sounds at the door, interrupting my thoughts. Shawn and I frown at each other, not sure who it would be. He pulls on his pants while I gather my clothing and scurry into the bathroom.

  I hear voices through the door. My heart pounds a chaotic beat when I realize who it is. Chase. As if I’m not freaking out enough right now. I can’t imagine what he wants, and I’m unable to hear distinctly what he’s saying.

  “Madison?” Shawn’s voice raises so I can hear him.

  “Just a sec!” I call out, my throat feeling like I’ve swallowed a bunch of sandpaper. What the heck?

  I take a quick look in the mirror. Chase is going to take one look at the color on my face and know what I’ve been up to. Ugh. Just what I need. Or hey, maybe this isn’t a bad thing? Maybe he’ll go the hell away and get out of my life.

  The wild riot of curls around my head can only be called sex hair, of that I’m certain. I pat it cautiously, then try to fix it with a bit of water. The frizz factor at the back is out of control from where my head had thrashed around on the pillow. I give my reflection a secret smile as warmth floods my body and flashes come at me. Shawn going down on me, licking me with gusto, like I was his favorite flavor of ice cream. Shawn kissing me like he worships me. Shawn driving into me with that big cock of his. I blow out a deep breath. I don’t want to think about Chase. I just want to stay in this bubble with Shawn as long as I can, and Chase’s presence threatens all of that.

  I come to the sudden realization that it’s time for me to own my life and my choices, both past and present. I tug my clothes into place and venture back into the room.

  Chase leans against the side of the doorway, entry blocked by Shawn’s big body.

  When Chase catches sight of me, his brows raise. “Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”

  I nod. Be strong, Madison. “Sure. Want to go down to the lobby, or …?”

  Shawn eyes me warily. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  I pat his chest. I want to scream, Yes! Please help me deal with this jackass! I settle for, “You know what, I’m okay. I can handle this.” And I’ll just have to hope that I really am able to.

  Shawn pulls me in front of him and looks directly into my eyes. The tenderness I see there nearly makes me unravel. I blink a few times. “I’m fine.”

  “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

  Down in the lobby, Chase and I sit in a couple of chairs off in the corner. I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest as his eyes wander over me. Just sitting here with him, knowing how he’s hurt me in the past, knowing he’s hurt Shawn, too, makes a disgusted shiver roll right through me.

  I straighten my back and watch him carefully. He came to me. I’m not speaking first. A strength I didn’t know I possessed rushes through me from head to toe. I arch one brow at him.

  He chuckles. “I could always tell when you were mad just by the movements of your eyebrows. Look, I’m sorry. I heard you guys ended up back here because of the storm, and I was kind of glad for it because I wanted the chance to apologize to you.”

  My jaw works back and forth. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

  He looks down at his hands before looking back up. I see the steel in his eyes before he responds, so I’m not surprised when he asks, “Are you really with him?”

  I take a deep breath. Am I with Shawn? All signs point, undeniably to yes. Twenty-four hours ago, it would have been a lie, but not now. “Yes, we’re together.”

  He shakes his head, chuckling again. Why does him laughing make me want to slap that cocky smile off of his face? “Does he know you told Dana a flat-out lie? Maybe if you haven’t, it’s him I should be having a conversation with.”

  My blood runs cold in my veins. I can’t believe he’s doing this. How did we go from an apology to accusations and threats? I know the answer—his intent was never to apologize. For whatever reason, he’s trying to make me miserable, and Shawn, too. My tongue darts out to lick my lips, and I try to swallow, but find I can’t. “It’s not a lie if I thought it was the truth, Chase.”

  He snickers and points at me, his finger jabbing in my direction. “But you didn’t answer the question. Does. He. Know?” He leans toward me, and the stench of alcohol on his breath wafts in my direction. “Does he know you were the one to snitch about it to Dana? You were the one who made her question him. You were the one who made her leave.”

  I know this. I know every last word he’s said is true, except I’ll hold my ground on this part—I didn’t lie. I didn’t know that my boyfriend was making up stories to cover his own ass. Why would I have ever thought that of someone who was supposedly in love with me?

  But then doubt creeps in and that little voice in my head laughs at me. Yeah, but you’re lying by omission now, Madison. You’re getting in deeper and deeper with Shawn. What if Chase is right? What if that’s how Shawn will see this?

  Oh my God, even Chase, who doesn’t possess a moral compass, thinks what I’m doing is wrong.

  My expression must betray all of my misgivings about the situation because he smirks and cocks his head to the side.

  “He’s not going to want you anymore when he finds out.”

  Chapter 24

  Shawn

  It’s been too long. I have no idea what Chase wanted to say to her, but I feel like she’s been down there way too goddamn long with him. Fuck this. I’ll go in search of coffee and make sure she’s okay before I come back up.

  When I spot them in the corner of the lobby, it
appears they’re just talking. That’s unless you know Madison pretty well, which, amazingly enough after one long weekend with her, I do. I fucking know her, and I know that whatever he’s saying is bothering her. Her body is absolutely stiff. Whatever he’s been saying to her can’t be good.

  At the same time I reach them, James comes around the corner. He gives me a quick smile, and then there’s an awkward exchange of looks between Madison and her brother, and then her brother and Chase. I feel the what the fuck are you doing with my sister vibes rolling right off of him, aimed right at Chase.

  James huffs and turns his back on Chase, instead opting to focus on his sister. He squats down next to her chair and puts a hand to her shoulder. “You’re okay? I’m not going to lie, my heart jumped up into my throat when you sent me that text.”

  Madison chews on her lip as she studies her brother’s worried face and she nods her head quickly, wanting to alleviate his fears. “Yes. Shawn took good care of me. We just took a little trip into a ditch. He gave me all the heated warmer thingies while we were waiting and everything.”

  James stands up again and holds out a hand to me, which I shake gladly. “Good man. Thanks for taking care of her.”

  Chase mumbles something under his breath that sounds like yeah, if good means fucking your best friend’s girl.

  I exhale carefully and my eyes flick to Chase. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

  Madison’s hand grips mine hard.

  James gives him a cold glare, telling me that it was very clear to all three of us what he’d said. Eyes still pinned on Chase, James asks, “Madi, is there a reason why you’re talking to this asshole?”

  Her mouth opens and closes a few times. “I, um—"

  Chase interrupts, directing a question my way. “So, you’re really with her now?”

  All eyes focus on him as he watches me intently for my answer.