The Reality of Everything (Flight & Glory)

by Rebecca Yarros

  “I can’t just call to say hello?” Her little laugh was tinged with sadness.

  “Sure you can. Just not at five a.m. when you’re clearly still out for the night.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

  “I guess…” She sighed. “I guess I just miss you, Jax.”

  Five years ago, those words would have meant the world to me. They would have kept me hanging on for her next phone call, hanging on to her.

  “Claire, it’s not me you should be missing. It’s Finley. She hasn’t talked to you in two months.”

  “If I knew I was going to get a lecture, I wouldn’t have called. It’s not my fault that my filming schedule isn’t conducive to calling.”

  The urge to tell her off was rising, but Fin was the one who’d suffer if I pissed Claire off and she chose not to call again. “I’m not lecturing you. I’m just being honest.”

  “How is she?” Her voice softened.

  “Good. Happy. Healthy. Everything you want to hear.” I blinked hard, trying to stay awake.

  “Does she ask about me?”

  “Of course she does. You’re her mother.”

  “Don’t you miss me even a little, Jax?”

  My stomach sank. “Don’t.”

  “I heard your new neighbor is pretty. Brie told me that she met her at one of your barbecues. Said you seemed pretty…what was the word she used? Entranced? Enamored? Enchanted. That was it. She said you seem enchanted by her.” Her tone turned sharp.

  Hell no.

  “She’s not up for discussion.”

  “Oh, so she is pretty. Does Finley like her, too?” She bit the question out.

  “She is none of your business.” I snapped each word, hoping she’d get the point.

  “I think I have a right to know who my daughter spends time with, don’t you?”

  She took the words straight out of Brie’s mouth. Exhaustion stripped me of my usual caution.

  “Do. Not. Start. I haven’t slept in thirty hours, and I don’t have the patience to do this with you. Go back to whatever party you’re at, Claire. I’m going to sleep because our daughter will be up in a couple of hours. You might want to call her sometime.” I chugged the rest of the water bottle.

  “Jax, don’t be mad at me.” Her voice dripped with sugar. “You know how much I love Finley. She’s the most important thing in my life. I’m working my ass off to make it out here, and it’s all for her. For all of us! It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I miss you. I miss our life.”

  I tossed the bottle in the trash can and looked up at a framed picture of Fin and me on the beach. “You want to be a part of Finley’s life? Make the effort. She’s amazing, and you’re missing it.”

  “What about yours?” Again, that damned teasing little lilt of her voice had me shaking my head.

  In the past, I would have said something like, “We’ll see.” I wouldn’t have shut any doors on Claire that would have given Fin a chance at having that picket-fenced family I’d mistakenly thought she was being born into. But that dream was just that—a dream. And the reality of it was that I deserved to be happy. Fin and I both did.

  “Jax? Did you hear me? I asked about being a part of your life.”

  “Claire, I think we both know that ship sailed a long time ago.”

  She gasped. “But Jax—”

  “I gotta go, Claire. If you want to call back in a few hours, Fin will be up. Bye.” I hung up the phone before she could beg me to change my mind, to assure her that we’d be waiting here with open arms if she ever decided to come back.

  She’d always be Finley’s mother, but she wasn’t her mom. Not in the ways that mattered.

  …

  “Thank you. I really appreciate this. Sarah needed the day off,” I told Christina as I picked up Finley from her shop the next day.

  “I really don’t mind,” she promised as Finley got her fingerprints all over the farthest display case in Christina’s jewelry store. “It’s honestly wonderful to have her. She sells a surprising amount of pendants. Seriously. Besides, it’s good practice for when Peter and I decide to have kids. Not that I’m in any rush for that,” she added quickly as she knocked on a piece of driftwood. “I mean, we’ve only been married a couple years. I’d like to have him all to myself for a bit longer.” Her brown eyes widened. “Not that Fin isn’t great. Shit. Did I just put my foot in my mouth?” she finished in a whisper.

  “Not at all,” I said with a laugh. “I absolutely get what you’re saying.”

  “Why don’t you two come over for dinner? I’m sure Peter would love to see you off duty, and I make a really awesome pizza order.”

  My watch read four thirty, enough time to take Fin seashell hunting and play a round of her current video game obsession. “Thanks for the offer, but I think we’re going to head home. She’s been itching to shell hunt lately.”

  “Daddy! Look at this one!” She leaned over the glass case, already on a step stool and her tiptoes.

  “Don’t lean on that, honey,” I told her as I came up behind her. “You might break the glass and get blood all over the pretty jewelry.”

  She shot me a grown-up dose of side-eye. “Look at the pink one. It’s pretty!”

  And now her face was smashed against the glass. I cringed in Christina’s direction, but she waved me off, already wiping down the other display cases.

  “It is pretty,” I assured my girl, seeing the pale-pink sea-glass pendant encased in silver hanging from a chain.

  “Morgan would like it.”

  Morgan. A week now, and she still hadn’t come back when I’d been home.

  “I bet she would. Want to buy it for her?” I offered.

  “Nah,” she said, shaking her head. Then she wiggled out from where my arms had caged her and rushed over to Christina. “Miss Tina?” She tugged on Christina’s shirt, just in case her words weren’t enough.

  “Yes, sugar?”

  “Would you make one for Morgan?” Finley asked.

  “One what?”

  “A sea-glass necklace? I’ll find the sea glass.” Her blue eyes were puppy-level cute as they widened in expectation.

  Christina cocked an eyebrow at me, and I nodded. I guessed I wasn’t the only one missing our neighbor.

  “Of course. You can help me set it and everything,” Christina promised.

  “Yay! Thank you!” She jumped, throwing her arms in the air. Once she landed, she ran back to me. “We can go now.”

  Her permission was given in all seriousness.

  “Well, since you’re ready,” I answered.

  She nodded, grabbing her small backpack on her way to the door.

  “Reconsider dinner?” Christina asked as she walked us out. “We always worry about you two, or is it you three now?”

  “Morgan’s just our neighbor.” I hefted Fin into her car seat, and she buckled herself in.

  “Well, I’m hearing rumors from a certain barbecue that she might not just be your neighbor.” She gave me a look that said she expected an explanation.

  “She’s…” What the hell was Morgan? “She’s beautiful, and smart, and funny, and my neighbor. Fin and I are just taking her under our wings since she’s new. Speaking of which, she could really use a friend here, and you’re the most level-headed woman I know.”

  She blinked at me for a second.

  “Christina?”

  “Oh, I was just trying to decide if level-headed was the compliment I was going for. Fun? Outgoing? Awesome?” she suggested.

  “Okay, you are the most fun, outgoing, awesome woman I know. Plus, I think you two would get along great.”

  Morgan could deny it all she wanted, but she had to be lonely. I had work and friends and Fin, and even I got lonely sometimes. All Morgan had was a house once Sam left after the summer.

 
“Have her swing by the shop. I’ll make sure not to creep her out.”

  I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck. “Yeah, I’m not sure I can get her to do that. I’ve tried once already, but she’s on the hermit career path at the moment. I swear she’s amazing.”

  “So, you want me to go by her place and actually creep her out?” She stared me down.

  “Pretty much. Next week, maybe? She’s right next door to us! Thanks!” I hopped into the Land Cruiser and started her up.

  “Uh-huh,” she said through the open window. “You’ve got it bad!” she called out.

  “Just my neighbor!” I answered as I pulled out of the small parking lot. After what I’d learned about her past, that was all she’d ever let me be.

  We turned onto our street a few minutes later. Best part of living on an island was the almost nonexistent commute. Fin slipped her hand out of the window, letting it ride the wind for the last half mile.

  Yeah, we were going to be all right, even if Claire never got her shit together in the parenting department.

  I noticed two things simultaneously as I pulled into our driveway. The first was that Morgan was home, or at least her Mini was.

  The second? Vivian was here.

  This had the potential to get really awkward.

  I parked, and Fin had already unsnapped her buckles by the time I opened her door. She jumped into my arms, and I shifted her onto my side, shutting the garage behind us as I carried her around the front of the house.

  “Morgan!” Fin called out over the sound of men climbing down from Morgan’s almost-finished roof. They’d made a huge amount of progress compared to when I’d left this morning. Half the roof was shingled, and it looked like they were quitting for the day. They even managed to save that old weathervane, which two of the roofers were anchoring back in its original position.

  There was no sign of Vivian, which meant she was probably in the house.

  “Fin!” Morgan waved from next to Steve and subsequently lost her grip on the paperback she’d been holding. She bent quickly to retrieve it, then set it on the drafting table as we walked over.

  I was struck by the strangest urge to get a copy of whatever she was reading. In my experience, what someone read told you almost everything you needed to know about them. Claire had preferred drama, anything that fired up her imagination. Garrett liked war biographies. Sawyer enjoyed not reading. Ever. Me? I went for Griffin, Clancy, or anything that pulled me out of my life for a minute.

  What was Morgan into? Did she read chick lit? Romance? Nonfiction? Was she into horror? Or was comedy more her thing?

  I put Finley on the ground once we reached the drafting table, keeping my eyes north of Morgan’s turquoise tank top and way north of those tiny white shorts. I was going to need to join a support group if I couldn’t shake my obsession with her legs.

  “I missed you!” Morgan said, dropping to eye level with Fin and pulling her into a big hug.

  Well, shit. For the first time, I was jealous of my kid.

  “I missed you, too! And you almost have a roof! Are you coming back soon?”

  “Four days,” Steve promised, even though Morgan shot him a disbelieving look. “You’d be surprised how fast a roof goes on,” he finished as he packed up for the day.

  “How have you been?” Morgan asked Fin.

  Fin jabbered a mile a minute, telling Morgan all about her days, like she’d been gone an eternity.

  Okay, maybe it had felt a little long.

  Morgan nodded dutifully, adding a word here and there as Finley jumped from subject to subject and was now on something related to Doc McStuffins.

  Morgan’s smile hit me in the gut like a freight train. Shit, I was in trouble.

  She shared that grin with me when she glanced up, and I answered it with one of my own, knowing there was no hope of getting a word in edgewise now that Fin was on a roll.

  And now she’d moved on to Christina’s cat.

  “Jackson?” My stomach lurched at the wariness in Vivian’s voice behind me.

  “Hey, Grammy!” Fin called, breaking her filibuster to hug Vivian quickly, then turning back to Morgan to continue her tale, which had shifted to the lunch menu at her preschool.

  “Can we talk?” Vivian asked softly. “Claire called this morning about…what happened last night.”

  Morgan’s eyes met mine.

  Steve’s eyebrows shot up.

  “Fin, why don’t we go…” Morgan looked around for a destination.

  “We’re done for the day.” Steve gestured toward his team as they started climbing down from the roof. “You can show her the progress,” he suggested.

  “That sounds like a great idea! Then you can finish telling me all about your favorite foods!” Morgan clasped Fin’s hand and grabbed her beach bag.

  “Oh! There’s macaroni and cheese and pizza! And ice cream and…”

  I shot Morgan a thankful look, and she nodded, already walking back toward her house and out of ear range.

  “And I’m going…somewhere else,” Steve said with a nod. “Always good to see you, Mrs. Lewis.” Then he basically speed-walked toward the nearest piece of equipment.

  “Hey, Vivian.” I turned to the side so I could see Fin out of my peripherals and give my would-have-been mother-in-law my attention.

  “She’s lovely,” Vivian remarked with a slight curve of her lips. “Good with Fin, too.”

  I watched as Morgan put her floppy sun hat on Fin, which completely swamped her little head. “Yeah, she is. We lucked out in the new neighbor department.”

  “Oh, Jackson.” Her shoulders sagged. “Claire was so upset this morning.”

  “Was she?” I folded my arms across my chest as I glanced over to Morgan and Fin, seeing them sitting on a blanket Morgan had spread out as she pointed to the changes in the house.

  “She was really upset. Going on about how you didn’t want her in Fin’s life and wouldn’t even put her on the phone.” She smoothed her silver, chin-length bob, which was her most obvious tell for stress.

  “And you think I would say that to Claire?”

  She swallowed and looked away. “Well, no. That doesn’t sound like you, but Claire was crying and carrying on something fierce.”

  “Did she tell you that she called from a party at five in the morning our time?”

  Vivian’s eyebrows shot up. “What? No.”

  “She didn’t ask to talk to Fin, and I wasn’t going to wake her up that early, anyway. I even told her to call back in a few hours once Fin was awake,” I told her gently. I hated laying Claire’s shit bare to Vivian. It wasn’t her fault that Claire was…whatever she was.

  “Oh.” She lifted her hand to her face and smoothed the lines of her forehead. “Now I feel foolish.”

  “Don’t. We both know what a good actress Claire is.”

  “I know, but it’s not like her to get so upset over—” She clamped her mouth shut and looked away.

  “Me,” I supplied, knowing that was the real source of Claire’s tirade.

  “I know it’s none of my business what happens between you two.”

  I laughed. “Vivian, nothing has been happening between us for years. She will always be Fin’s mother but—”

  One of the roofers shouted, and my attention snapped to the roofline, where the man slipped and began falling. My stomach clenched as he flung out his arms but couldn’t stop, heading for the huge bronze weathervane that perched midway down the roof, right above—

  “Morgan!” I shouted, already running as he slammed into the sculpture. The sound of cracking wood followed instantly as the weathervane tore free. “Above you!”

  Her eyes flew from the roof to mine and then back up to where a hundred pounds of bronze plummeted toward where she sat with Finley.

  Oh God, I wasn’t g
oing to make it.

  It was going to hit them.

  Chapter Seven

  Morgan

  Just don’t be afraid to take another risk, okay?

  Oh God.

  There was no time.

  I side-tackled Finley, taking her down in a mess of knees and elbows, and used my momentum to roll with my arms around her. As the sky filled my vision, so did the falling hunk of death, and I threw everything I had into the move.

  Keep her on the bottom!

  I landed on top, curving myself around her as much as possible. The object slammed into the ground with a booming thud in the same millisecond.

  Sand and rocks blasted the side of my face.

  My heart slammed against my ribs, the beat deafening.

  “Finley! Morgan!”

  I could hear the panic in Jackson’s voice, so I wasn’t dead. Right? And Finley was breathing under me, so she wasn’t, either.

  “Oh, thank God!” Jackson shouted, skidding to a halt next to us and hitting his knees. “Are you okay?”

  Words wouldn’t form, so I nodded.

  “I’m okay,” Finley announced, her voice muffled under me.

  She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s okay. I fell to the side, taking my weight off Fin, and Jackson immediately grabbed her to his chest.

  “Are you okay?” he asked again, pushing her to arm’s length, looking her over for injuries.

  I sat up slowly as workers and Fin’s grandmother came running.

  The weathervane I’d been so damned insistent about had fallen from the roof. God, it was huge.

  “I’m fine!” Finley promised.

  It had landed right where we’d been a second ago, the enormous arrow stabbing through the edge of the blanket and pinning the fabric to the ground.

  “Are you sure?” Jackson’s hands ran down her limbs quickly, no doubt checking for broken bones.

  Someone helped me to my feet, and I wavered, my heart galloping. Feeling something wet streak my face, I stumbled away from the group. Of all the times to cry!

  I made it as far as the base of my temporary steps before I was engulfed in a pair of arms and pressed against a firm, warm chest. The amazing combination of ocean, lemongrass, and soap filled my lungs as I breathed him in.