The Truce

by Becca Steele

  “Mate.” Ethan’s voice softened. “I know your parents gave you a skewed view of relationships. And, well, I think you could be happy with Olivia, if you’d let yourself.” His mouth twisted sadly. “I see the way you look at each other. I wish you’d realise that you’re capable of being in a relationship.”

  I stared at him. “Tell me you didn’t say what I think you said. You’re bringing my parents into this? Yeah, maybe they did give me a fucked-up view of relationships.” I laughed bitterly. “I’m not about to make the same mistakes they did. Liv and I, we’re having fun. Just because you’re all loved-up with Avery—and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you both—doesn’t mean that I want to be in your situation.”

  I’d seen first-hand how toxic relationships could be. My childhood had been a never-ending loop of witnessing my parents at each other’s throats, right until the point my mum had had enough and walked out. Unbidden, the memory arose in my mind.

  Letting myself in the front door after spending the afternoon at a friend’s, I headed towards the kitchen to get myself a drink. Hearing raised voices, I peered cautiously around the corner of the door to see my parents arguing. They were always at each other’s throats, but this time was different. Rage and fury poured from them both, thickening the air and making my throat close up.

  “I can’t stand to live under the same roof as you for another second. You’re a lazy, useless waste of space!” my mum screamed at my dad, her face red with anger.

  “Good, ’cos I’m sick of the sight of your face. You think I don’t know about your Valium addiction?” His voice rose. “You can hide that shit from your doctor, but you can’t pull the wool over my eyes. You’re a fucking disgrace.”

  Racing upstairs, I slammed my bedroom door and jammed my earphones in, blasting Eminem at full volume to drown out the sound of their argument. It wasn’t loud enough to cover the noise of the front door as it was wrenched open by my mother, then crashed shut for the final time.

  My mum had never bothered to stay in touch other than to send me a card every birthday and Christmas. She’d made it crystal clear that I wasn’t a priority to her. It was a relief when she left, as horrible as it sounds, because the arguments stopped. My dad, always distant and reserved around me, had shut himself off, and as soon as I’d turned eighteen, and he’d moved in with his girlfriend—now his wife—our contact had lessened to the point where we only spoke three or four times a year, with the occasional email. If I was lucky.

  No, there was no way I was going to put myself, or any woman, in that situation. Ethan was right; I needed to have a word with Olivia to make sure we were on the same wavelength. The last thing I wanted was for us to get our wires crossed, and for me to ruin our friendship.

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  All thoughts of talking flew out of my mind when Olivia walked into the office kitchen, where I was making a coffee to replenish my energy after the early-morning workout. Her lips curved into a shy smile when she saw me, her huge blue eyes lighting up.

  “Morning.” Her full tits brushed my arm as she reached past me for a mug, sending a shot of heat straight to my groin. She put a coffee pod into the machine and leaned back against the countertop.

  Licking my suddenly dry lips, I stared at her, following the line of her slim neck, down her body to her sexy legs. On autopilot, I moved forward, placing my hands on the surface either side of her so I was caging her in. I pressed my body against hers, sure she could feel my erection between us. She let out a breathy, almost inaudible moan, her pupils dilating and nostrils flaring.

  “Morning, yourself.” I leaned down to murmur into her ear. I couldn’t help kissing her soft lobe, and her whole body shuddered. Fuck, if she was this responsive now, I couldn’t wait to see how she fell apart for me in bed.

  In bed. Right. We needed to talk before things went any further.

  “Liv?” Drawing my head back, I looked down at her upturned face.

  “Huh?” Her eyes, half-lidded, met mine.

  “Uh, can we talk?”

  “What about?” She eyed me warily, and I took a step back to try to collect my thoughts.

  “About this.” I pointed between us. Why was it so hard to say what was on my mind? “Can we go for a drink after work, maybe?”

  Her body tensed, her eyes searching mine.

  Whatever she saw there must have reassured her, because she shrugged, her shoulders easing. “Sure.”

  She strolled out of the kitchen, hips swaying, and I stood where I was for a moment, willing my dick to go down.

  My overloaded work schedule meant the day flew by; I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. On the one hand, I couldn’t wait to spend time with Olivia out of a work environment, but on the other hand, I’d bet anything the conversation would be awkward, and I was dreading fucking up things between us.

  “Ready to go?” I met Olivia in the office doorway, and we made our way out of the building into the early-evening sunshine. Holding hands wasn’t my style, but taking Olivia’s hand in mine as we walked down the street was necessary to keep us from being separated. Really. A small smile appeared on her glossy lips as my hand encompassed hers, entwining our fingers together.

  I led her into the pub, and by some coincidence that was, frankly, bloody weird, the booth was free. The prime seating area in the pub—the same booth where we’d both seen each other outside of work for the first time; where Olivia had met Alex; where I’d upset her, and she’d rushed home.

  “Back at the scene of the crime.” Her tone was dry, our minds on the same wavelength.

  “Less arguing this time, though, fingers crossed.” I laughed. Our eyes met. Olivia’s sparkled at me, blue and luminous. Fuck, she was so beautiful. Had I been too blind to notice any sooner, or had I been denying myself?

  Olivia insisted on buying the drinks. Once we were settled next to each other in the wooden booth, drinks in front of us, I angled my body to face hers, our knees touching.

  “So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Olivia bit her lip, lowering her gaze, and I had to fight the sudden urge to kiss her.

  Fuck it.

  I leaned forward, capturing her lips with mine. She let out a surprised gasp, then sighed into my mouth, returning the kiss. I cupped the back of her neck, pulling her closer and angling my head to kiss her more deeply.

  “We should do that more often,” she murmured when we finally broke apart.

  I smirked at her. “I’m a good kisser, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, you are,” she admitted, smiling at me. “I’m not too bad, either.” She gave me a cheeky wink.

  This woman.

  “You’re a bloody amazing kisser.” I leaned forward, intent on her mouth, but she stopped me by pressing a finger to my lips.

  “Talk first. Then more kissing.”

  Okay then.

  “Right. I-I’m really fucking bad at this,” I began. My palms were sweaty, and I grabbed for my pint glass, taking a large gulp. “Okay. Here’s the thing.” I stared down at the table, reluctant to meet Olivia’s eyes. “I like you. I mean, I’m sure that’s obvious.”

  I swigged more of my drink, willing the words to come to me.

  Olivia cocked her head, watching me patiently.

  “The thing is, Liv, I don’t want a relationship. I’m not looking for a girlfriend. It’s nothing to do with you; I can’t do relationships.”

  Taking a deep breath, I raised my eyes to meet hers. “I want you. I want you so fucking much that I can’t think straight when I’m around you. I guess…I’m concerned I’ll mess up our friendship if we do anything. Losing you as a friend isn’t an option—not anymore.”

  I finished my speech on a heavy exhale, hoping Olivia would understand.

  She sat in silence for a moment, her expression thoughtful.

  “Let me see if I understand what you’re telling me,” she finally said. “You want to be friends with benefits?”

  Was that what I
wanted?

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Or just friends, if you don’t want that.”

  My voice was firm, determined. If she only wanted to be friends with me, I’d take it, even though it would kill me to never know how it felt to hear her moan my name while I—fuck. I surreptitiously adjusted myself under the table before my dick decided to make itself even more obvious, and returned to the conversation with an effort. “Uh…what was I saying?” I rubbed my face, trying to collect my thoughts. “Liv, I can’t be in a relationship. I don’t even know how to. I’ve never even had a girlfriend. Not as an adult, at least.”

  “Never?” Olivia sat back, dumbfounded.

  “I prefer to keep it casual. I’m not risking ending up like my parents.” As always, thinking about them brought a surge of anger.

  Olivia was quiet for a few seconds, her expression making me nervous. When she spoke, her voice was gentle. “What happened with your parents?”

  “I need another drink for that story,” I muttered, staring at my hands.

  “Don’t go anywhere.” She stood, dropping a soft kiss on my cheek, and headed over to the bar. Returning with two glasses, she slid back into the booth next to me.

  Taking a deep breath, I downed half of my second pint of IPA, then placed the glass down. Playing with a beer mat between my fingers, I began to speak, lost in the memories.

  “To cut a very long and convoluted story short, my parents…they had a toxic relationship. They used to fight all the time, and it ended with my mum walking out when I was fourteen. My dad…well, he didn’t have much interest in being a parent.” I let the words spill out of me, Olivia listening without judgement or interruption, curled up in the booth leaning against me. Ethan and Alex were the only other friends I’d ever spoken to about them.

  “Once my mum left, and we’d moved to London, Martha took me under her wing. For the first time in my life, I knew what it was like to have a family. I’d never felt like anyone cared enough to stay. My mum left me, and my dad was gone the second I was accepted into university.” I rubbed the back of my neck, the rejection still stinging me even years later. “Martha was my real family. She cared about me. It didn’t matter that we weren’t related by blood.”

  “Family isn’t always about blood. It’s about the people who love and accept you for who you are, no matter what,” Olivia said, when my words eventually trailed off. “Thank you for sharing that with me, Luke.”

  I leaned back, feeling strangely light. I hadn’t felt able to talk so freely with anyone before, other than Martha.

  “Thanks for listening.” My voice cracked and I took a long pull from my drink.

  “Luke, I want to be honest with you.” Olivia took my hand, running her thumb across my knuckles. “I like you. A lot. I can appreciate and understand why you don’t want a relationship, but...” She took a deep breath. “Okay. I need time to think if I can do this—if I can separate the benefits—” Her face flushed. “—from feelings. I’m worried that I’ll end up wanting more from you than you’re willing to give.”

  What did I do to deserve her understanding?

  “Take as much time as you need. Thank you for, well, everything. To be honest, I thought you would tell me to fuck off.”

  She smirked at me. “There’s still time for that, so don’t get comfortable, Davenport.”

  We sat in the pub for hours, talking and laughing. It was as if me spilling my guts had taken away a wall I wasn’t even aware of. Olivia opened up to me, talking about her move to London, not knowing anyone, and how our animosity had made her feel. “You know, you’ve made me cry quite a few times,” she admitted softly.

  Well, now I feel like a complete wanker. “Liv, I’m so sorry.” I wrapped her in my arms, and she buried her head in my shoulder.

  “Hey, I was as much to blame as you,” she insisted.

  “That’s true, alright.”

  I felt her body shake with laughter, and she pulled away from me.

  “I like this,” she admitted. “Having a laugh with you is way more fun than fighting.”

  “Admit it, you liked the fighting.”

  “I’ll admit it if you will.”

  “I liked it sometimes,” I conceded. “When you weren’t driving me insane.”

  “Same here.” She smiled up at me.

  “You know what you’d like,” I began, smirking at her.

  “With that expression on your face, I’m not sure I want to know.” She giggled. “Go on, then, what is it I’d like?”

  “Me. Inside you.”

  She dropped her head into her hands with an exaggerated pained groan. “That was the worst line ever. Have you been taking tips from Alex or something?”

  I laughed, shrugging. “We’ll blame Alex’s influence—why not. The line sounded better in my head, promise.”

  “I’m sure it did.” She lifted her head, humour dancing in her eyes.

  I moved to kiss her, but she shook her head, moving out of my reach. “No. I need to think about things. For now, we’re going to have to be strictly friends only. Pretend I’m Ethan or Alex.”

  I snorted. “I don’t have any urges to kiss my friends. Until now.” I paused, leaning down to whisper into her ear. “And I’m talking about you, to be clear.”

  Olivia laughed, rolling her eyes. “Obviously.” She paused for a moment. “Although…Ethan and Alex are attractive men. Just saying, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go there.”

  “Seriously?”

  “No, but it was worth it to see the disgusted expression on your face.”

  “I’m sure.” I raised an eyebrow at her, then tried to get the conversation back on track. “Listen—I’m sorry. I’ll try to behave. I know I’ve dumped a lot on you today.” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I can’t even get anything straight in my own head. How can I expect you to?”

  “Hey, we don’t need all the answers right now. Come on, it’s getting late. We’ve got to wrap up the Delny project in the next couple of days.”

  We stood to leave, and I couldn’t help pulling Olivia into a tight hug.

  “Thanks, for everything,” I mumbled into her hair.

  “Thanks for trusting me enough to be honest with me.”

  16

  Olivia

  Carrying the lit birthday cake into the room, my steps careful and deliberate, I motioned to the gathered group, and as one, they all began singing “Happy Birthday.” Lisa had turned thirty, Jamie was turning twenty-five, and the whole office was in a celebratory mood. Luke and I had signed off the Delny project earlier in the day as well, so we had an additional reason to celebrate.

  Ethan had hired a private area in a local bar, and almost everyone from Barrett London had turned up to enjoy themselves. Once Lisa and Jamie had blown out the candles, I wandered over to Eddie, smoothing my short, low-cut black dress down. Avery had let me borrow it for the evening, but I got the impression she regretted it going by the number of times she’d messaged me to warn me not to spill anything on it.

  “Look at you.” Eddie whistled, twirling me so the skirt flared out around my legs, my hair flying around my face.

  “It’s Avery’s dress.” I smiled at him, standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

  I turned to Eddie’s boyfriend, George, who pulled me into a hug. “Long time no see, baby girl.” He grinned, his white teeth blinding against his smooth ochre skin.

  “It’s good to see you. Has Eddie managed to talk you into coming to a karaoke night with me and Avery yet?”

  “Not yet,” he laughed. “You really don’t want to hear me sing.”

  “I really do. Pleeease,” I begged, sticking my bottom lip out and batting my eyelashes at him.

  “Ahh, not that face. How can I resist?” He sighed. “Go on, then. Sort it out with Eddie, and I’ll be there. Your ears will regret it, though,” he warned.

  “What will your ears regret?” A large body swung me up into a hug.

  “Alex!
” I exclaimed, smiling. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “And pass up free food and drink? I’m all over it, baby.” He laughed. “Nah, Jamie invited me. We’re mates. He’s in my squad.”

  I stared at him blankly.

  “Gaming? Online? Shooting?” He mimed pressing a control pad, then pretended to shoot me with a gun.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you carry on.” I patted his arm.

  “Eddie, George, have you met Alex?”

  They both nodded, falling into easy conversation, and I left them chatting while I circulated the room.

  I hadn’t seen Luke yet.

  I still wasn’t sure what to do.

  The last couple of days, I’d taken a step back from him. It had been an effort, but I didn’t know if I could sleep with him and not want anything more.

  I needed Avery’s advice. Tonight wasn’t the time or the place, though. Everyone was ready to celebrate and have fun, and there was no way I’d bring the mood down with serious conversation.

  “Olivia.” Ethan’s smooth voice cut through the noise of music, chattering voices, and clinking glasses.

  “Hey. Thanks for sorting all this. You did a great job.” I smiled, hugging him.

  He shrugged modestly. “I wanted to say well done, again. I know I mentioned it earlier, but I’ve been so impressed by your achievements. Luke’s, too.”

  “Thanks for trusting me with the project. I appreciate it and I’m glad that I didn’t let you down.” I gave the room another cursory glance. “Speaking of Luke, have you seen him?”

  His brow furrowed. “Come to think of it, I haven’t, no. I’m sure he’ll turn up soon.”

  I nodded, my attention caught by my best friend, who was approaching us, trying to juggle a bottle of Prosecco and two full glasses without spilling them. Ethan followed my gaze and immediately stepped forward to relieve Avery of her burden.