The Truce

by Becca Steele

  I gathered my thoughts. “I guess it’s getting pretty serious as far as my feelings for him go, but it’s only been five weeks since we kissed for the first time. And we haven’t had any discussions about moving on from our arrangement. There’s no rush to work things out. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.”

  “True. Although as an outsider, I’d like to point out that he has strong feelings for you, too. I can see it. At this point, it’s clear to anyone with eyes that the two of you are way more than just friends with benefits, even if he won’t admit it. He’s changed. He’s…softer. And when you’re in the same place, everything else seems to cease to exist. His whole focus is on you.”

  “He has changed. I’m sure some of it is because he doesn’t have the stress of me going up against him at work. Even so, I know he finds it hard to admit it to himself, let alone to me. He’ll come around eventually though. He’s worth everything.” Wiggling my freshly painted toes contentedly, I smiled, thinking of Luke. “Honestly, Aves, I’ve never been so happy.”

  How could I have ever thought I hated him? That stage of our relationship seemed like eons ago.

  Avery squeezed my hand. “Well, I’m happy you’re happy. I’m happy for you both. So, so happy.”

  We stared at one another, then both dissolved into giggles.

  “How many times did you just say ‘happy’?” I shook my head, grinning.

  “I’m happy to say it a few more times, if you like?”

  “Nah, you’re alright. I think I’ve heard that word enough now.”

  Sitting in a tiny, cramped coffee shop a few hours later, bags piled around my feet, I checked my phone while I waited for Avery to place her order. Luke’s handsome face smiled up at me from my screen background, setting off butterflies in my stomach. As if I’d conjured him up, a message appeared.

  Luke: Hi. Saw you were online. Having fun?

  Me: Yeah. Miss you though! And your magical dick LOL.

  Luke: Hahaha *crying laughing emoji* Glad to hear it.

  Me: What you up to?

  Luke: Just got back from the gym. Got that games night at Alex’s later.

  Me: Oh yeah. Have fun!

  Luke: Sleepover at mine tomorrow?

  Me: *heart eyes emoji* Do you even need to ask?

  Luke: See you tomorrow x

  Me: xx

  “What’s that look for?” Avery stared at me, an enquiring expression on her face.

  “Nothing. Just messaging Luke.” I placed my phone down, giving her my full attention. “But enough about me. Want to catch me up on your life?”

  Avery sipped her tea thoughtfully. “Well, let me see. Ethan’s been dropping hints about marriage—”

  “Aves! This is huge! Do you think he’s going to propose?” I beamed at her.

  “Well, if you’d let me finish speaking,” she laughed, and I mouthed sorry, “I was going to say that he’s been dropping hints for a few weeks now. Nothing obvious. But there have been lots of little things, like choosing wedding-related films to watch on our movie nights.” She began ticking off on her fingers. “So far he’s chosen The Proposal, The Wedding Singer, I Love You, Man, My Big Fat Greek Wedding…well, you get the general idea. Then, the other day, we went for drinks in a gorgeous hotel bar.” She paused, her brow furrowed. “I can’t remember the name of the hotel now, but it was in Kensington somewhere. Anyway, he casually happened to mention that the hotel did weddings, and did I prefer the idea of weddings in city hotels, or somewhere like the country manor where his sister got married.”

  She sat back, a small smile playing on her lips. “That could all seem like a coincidence. But. Get this. Yesterday, he asked me what my favourite precious stone was. To wear. As jewellery. So, it kind of got me adding everything up in my head. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking…” She trailed off.

  “Oh, Aves. It does sound like marriage is on his mind.” I clapped my hands in excitement. “I’m so happy for you guys. And you know what? Even if everything you’ve told me turns out to be a random coincidence, I know that marriage is on the cards. Whenever it may be. You’re hashtag couple goals.”

  “Did you just say the word ‘hashtag’?” Avery asked faintly.

  “Yep.” I grinned. “Sorry.”

  Avery shook her head in mock-disgust. “Please, never say that again.”

  “I can’t make any promises.”

  She rolled her eyes, draining the rest of her drink. “Come on, let’s go back to mine. You can stay over if you want?

  “Will Ethan mind me crashing?”

  “Course not. He’s got a lot of work on at the moment, so he’ll be shut in his office most of the night, no doubt. I know he’ll appreciate you keeping me occupied. We can order food and watch Netflix?”

  “It’s a deal.”

  23

  Luke

  Gasping, I shot up in bed. The covers tangled around my body, and I struggled to untwist myself. I made a grab for the pint of water standing on my bedside table and sent half of it sloshing out of the side in my haste. Taking a long gulp, I tried to slow my racing heart. It was just a dream.

  The same dream that had been recurring ever since my feelings for Olivia had intensified.

  A nightmare.

  I’d dreamed that Liv had told me she was leaving me, and I’d walked into the conference room at work to find her kissing another man. My dad was in the room as well, for some reason, always sitting at the conference table, and when he saw me catch sight of Liv with the other man, he started laughing uncontrollably. Liv would always break away from the man at this point and glare at me. Then she’d grab the man and kiss him again, deliberately.

  I rubbed my eyes tiredly. Everything felt like it was spinning out of control. This whole situation with Olivia was messing with my head. We were meant to be friends with benefits, but the lines were becoming more and more blurred. I’d made it worse by taking her out on dates, telling myself that it was casual. Who was I kidding? I could tell that she was falling for me, and as for my feelings?

  I was fucking terrified.

  On the surface, to an outsider, things between Olivia and I were going well.

  Underneath? The cracks were beginning to form.

  “You okay?” Olivia stared at me, concern in her eyes.

  “Fine. Just swamped with work at the moment.” I picked up my mug and turned to leave the kitchen.

  “Luke?” I turned my head to see her biting her lip uncertainly. “Do you want to grab lunch together today?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m too busy to take a lunch break. Tomorrow, yeah?” I mustered up a smile.

  Hurt flashed across her expression, but she quickly masked it. “Okay. I can bring you some food if you like? One of those sha-whatever things you like so much?”

  “Thanks. That would be great.” This time my smile was genuine. I took a step back towards her, dropping a kiss on her head. “I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” She nodded, giving me a tiny smile in return.

  Sitting at my desk I stared, unseeing, at my computer screen. I jumped when a hand slid a brown paper bag in front of me, so caught up in my worries that I’d completely tuned out the rest of the world.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump. I brought your lunch.” The smell of the piping hot shawarma made my stomach rumble.

  “Thanks.” I smiled up at Olivia, and she returned my smile, gazing into my eyes as if I was the most important thing in the world to her. She leaned down and placed a featherlight kiss on my cheek.

  My palms grew sweaty, and my heart started pounding faster. I clenched my fists. These feelings…I couldn’t deal with them. I had to get away.

  “Be right back.” I shot out of my chair and rushed out of the office. In the corridor I paced backwards and forwards, willing myself to relax. I needed to slow things down. Way, way down. This whole situation with Liv was getting too much to handle. If nothing else, the nightmares I kept having should be a sign that something was wrong.


  I didn’t know what to do.

  I returned to my desk, conflicting feelings churning inside me. Olivia was still standing there, waiting for me.

  “Is everything alright?”

  “Yes,” I answered shortly, avoiding eye contact.

  “Are you sure?” She touched my arm, and my muscles tensed involuntarily.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. If I’ve done something to upset you, please tell me,” she whispered.

  Sinking into my chair, I massaged my temples, a tension headache forming. “You don’t have anything to apologise for. I’m just stressed about work. It’s been a busy week, and it’ll only get busier.” I glanced up at her, keeping my expression neutral.

  She studied me, her eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you speak to Ethan about it? He might be able to get someone else to take on some of your workload so you’re not so stressed about it all? To be honest, I could probably help you out, if you wanted me to. My workload isn’t too bad this week.”

  “No,” I snapped, without meaning to. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I can handle it. I just need to concentrate. Thanks, though.”

  “If you’re sure,” she said, clearly unconvinced. “Hmm. How about a cinema trip tonight, if you fancy it? We can switch off and watch some mindless action film with a big tub of popcorn. It’ll help with some of the stress, I’m sure. And I can think of one or two other stress-relieving methods to try afterwards, back at your flat.” She gave me a cheeky grin, and I couldn’t bear it any longer. I needed space. Time to get my head straight and work out what to do.

  Taking a big bite of my shawarma, I chewed slowly as I cast around for an excuse.

  “I already made plans with Alex. Sorry.”

  I had to look away so she wouldn’t read the lie in my eyes.

  24

  Luke

  The cracks were widening.

  Something had to give.

  The beginning of the end.

  It started with a toothbrush.

  25

  Olivia

  “Morning.”

  I turned my head and came face-to-face with a very tousled, sleepy Luke. Blinking at me, his eyes barely open, he kissed my nose and rolled me so that he was cuddling me from behind. I sighed, wriggling against him. He nuzzled into my neck, his hand sliding up under my top to cup my breast. I moaned as he rolled my nipple between his fingers.

  “Luke,” I breathed.

  His exploring hands moved lower, and I turned my face to capture his lips with mine.

  Although, on second thoughts…

  “Hold that thought. I’m going to run to the bathroom quickly.”

  “Hurry back,” he mumbled sleepily.

  I clambered back into the warm bed, my mouth feeling much fresher. I rolled over to face Luke, trailing my hand down his stubbled face.

  His full, sexy lips turned up into a smile, and he leaned in to kiss me. “Mmm, you taste nice. All minty.”

  “I brought a toothbrush with me to keep here. I left it in the bathroom—I hope that’s okay,” I murmured.

  He stiffened, the smile wiped from his face.

  I hesitated. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing,” he said shortly. “I need a shower.” Rolling out of bed, he stood and crossed the room, leaving without a backwards glance. I heard the shower turn on, and I shrugged, confused, and rolled over. Closing my eyes, I let the sound of the running water lull me back to sleep.

  Luke had been quiet, distant, all morning. Sitting in the uncomfortable plastic seats at Wells Way Stadium, home of the London Hawks, I sighed as Avery shot me an assessing look. She knew me so well; I had no hope of hiding anything from her.

  “Okay, what is it? Tell me, quick, while the boys are getting our drinks.”

  “I honestly don’t know. Luke’s been acting weird lately.”

  “Weird, how?”

  “Well, it feels like he’s kind of pulling away from me. And today he’s being standoffish.” I lowered my voice, moving my head closer to Avery’s. “He’s still all over me wanting sex and all that, but…you know I told you a couple of weeks ago that I felt like we were becoming closer? He’s made excuses not to see me all week. At work he’s supposedly been too busy to talk to me, or even to take a lunch break.”

  I chewed my lip in agitation, lowering my voice even further. “I asked him if we could see each other on Wednesday after work, but he told me he had plans with Alex. I know he lied to me about the plans, though, because Alex messaged me asking for the name of a gin bar I’d recommended to him so he could take someone there on a date that evening.”

  Avery stared at me, worry evident in her eyes, as I continued. “I stayed at his flat last night, but that was the first time I’d seen him out of work since last Sunday. He asked me to come round in the evening, and all we did was have sex, then went to sleep. Then this morning, we were in bed kissing, and he suddenly went all withdrawn and closed off for no reason.” I shrugged, at a loss to explain his behaviour.

  I stared out at the rugby pitch, restlessly bouncing my leg, my stomach churning.

  “I haven’t seen you together lately to judge, but you might be reading too much into his actions.” Avery squeezed my hand. “Come on. Stop thinking about it. Let’s try to enjoy your first ever rugby game.”

  “Okay.” My voice was small.

  Caught up in the game, Luke’s full attention was directed at the pitch as the rugby players ran up and down the field. I kept sneaking glances at his profile. The face I knew so well, that I’d traced with my hands and my lips during long nights spent wrapped up in him. The face of the man that had come to mean more to me than any other. I can’t lose him. Maybe I was expecting too much. I’d tried so hard not to do anything to pressure him, but maybe I should take a step back, give him more space.

  My mind made up, I sat back and tried to concentrate on the game. Sandwiched between Luke and Avery, I dragged my thoughts into the present.

  “Alex is fast, isn’t he?” I commented to Luke, watching as Alex flew down the pitch.

  He turned to me, eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “Yeah. Especially for his size. You enjoying the game?”

  I nodded.

  “Good.” He reached out, squeezing my arm briefly, then returned his attention to the field.

  Standing in the foyer of the Italian restaurant where we’d had an early dinner after the game, I turned and hugged Ethan. “See you at work on Monday.”

  Ethan met my gaze, then Luke’s. Worry flickering in his eyes, he frowned but smoothed his expression so quickly that I could almost convince myself I’d imagined it.

  “Take care, Olivia.” He spoke so softly into my ear that I had to strain to hear him. “Our home is always open to you, if you ever need a change of scenery.”

  “Thanks.” My face fell. Ethan was Luke’s closest friend, and I was guessing from his words that he’d noticed something was wrong.

  Ethan released me, and Avery touched my arm. “I need to quickly use the loo before we leave. Do you want to come?”

  “What is it with women needing to go to the loos together?” Ethan muttered to himself, shaking his head.

  Avery laughed. “We won’t be long.” I followed her down the corridor into the bathroom, and she turned and locked the door behind us.

  “Okay, I’m going to say this because I want to be straight with you.” Chewing her lip, she stared into my eyes, empathy in her gaze. “I paid close attention to how Luke’s been acting around you today. And there’s something going on with him. He’s normally all over you, affectionate and caring.”

  My stomach dropped. “And he’s not, is he.” My words, stated flatly, hung in the air between us. “I think I’m going to lose him.”

  As soon as I’d uttered my fears aloud, tears gathered on my lashes, waiting to fall. Breathing deeply, I willed myself to stay in control, but pain arrowed through my chest and my lip trembled as I battled to hold in my
emotions.

  “Liv, don’t say that.” Avery gathered me into a hug, rubbing my back. “Maybe he’s just taking a step back. It might have all got too much for him. But I do think it’s wise that you two talk to each other. Stressing out and overanalysing everything in your head isn’t doing you any good. Talk to him today, okay? Don’t leave it. And if you need me, you know that I’m here for you, at any time of day or night. Call me, come over; whatever you need, you’re always welcome.”

  I squeezed her back, overcome with gratitude for my best friend. She drew away and stared at me. “Let me fix your eyes.” Rummaging in her clutch bag, she pulled out a pack of tissues. “Stay still.” She dabbed my lashes gently. “There. Deep breath. Hold your head high, and remember that you’re a strong, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated like a queen.”

  “Thanks, Aves. For everything.”

  “Anytime, doll. Come on.”

  Waving Ethan and Avery off in a cab, I turned to Luke, gathering my courage. He stood, hands in his pockets, his handsome face troubled.

  “Luke? Can we talk?” I asked tentatively.

  He stood, silent for a moment, a muscle ticking in his jaw. Looking at me, something resolved in his gaze. It turned hard, resolute, and a feeling of foreboding settled over me, heavy and suffocating.

  “Okay,” he said eventually. “Not here, though.”

  Hands still in his pockets, he led me through the darkening streets. We reached the river, and he leaned against the stone wall separating us from the water, his posture tense. We had relative privacy; although it was still early evening, this particular part of the riverbank was quiet.

  “Is something wrong?” I ventured, when it was clear that he wasn’t going to be the first to speak.