Zombie Holiday

by C.G. Banks

center in my mind.

  After all, I was a zombie. Not exactly like the movies had said but damn close enough. And let’s face it, if zombies could be real, then why not anything else? I thought about putting that shotgun in my mouth and pulling the trigger, blowing myself all over the trees around me. And then waking up in Hell, stuffed like a turkey with all the foulness from before the Change and all the motherfuckers afterward. What would that be like for all eternity?

  I chose to leave it for another time.

  And like the saying about spilled milk, what the hell was I gonna do about it now? She was dead. There weren’t no bringing her back, and looking around, it was easy to see that she wouldn’t be coming back as one of us. Not scattered across the woods like she was.

  I managed to stand up. Craned my neck peering into the woods looking for those motherfuckers. Wishing I could see just one thing out of place so I could charge into the middle of em again. But as I said it was all quiet.

  Of course, I also knew that if I really wanted some shit all I had to do was retrace my steps back to the compound because there was shit-a-plenty I could stir there. I stood in that spot some more and thought as best I could. Threw that idea into the shit-can. If I really wanted to get scattered around that bad, there was always the shotgun. And it would save me a helluva walk.

  I finally decided to keep on keeping on.

  And I got to say, I felt better. In fact, pretty goddamn good. For the first time in memory that damn chicken bone wasn’t poking a hole in the back of my throat and I have to admit I felt stronger. Like I could walk over to that shotgun and tie it in a bow. Shove it up the ass of the one-eyed Red Eye sideways. But I knew that was bullshit. Matter of fact it was probably exactly what those somebitches had in mind.

  Remember these weren’t no run-of-the-mill mudheads here. These motherfuckers had brains, organization. These motherfuckers could think ahead. No…I figured the best thing for me right then was to get the hell out. Come back later and burn the whole damn place down to the ground with them in it, but not now. Not alone.

  For the first time that thought came.

  Team up.

  Crazy I’d never considered it before. But, really, it made perfect sense. In this world I wasn’t far from Einstein and there was really no telling what a little motivation could do. And dammit, right then, I had all sorts of it.

  I turned away from the direction of the compound and started off through the woods to God knows where.

  I walked until the sun went down and came up again. Aimlessly, not a thought in my mind. Everything seeming to run together and a few times I had to ask myself where the hell I was and how I got there. Came up empty on just about every count. And I just kept walking.

  It was round about nightfall when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Not much really, at first I thought it musta been a squirrel moving around in the middle branches of a birch, but a big one. Big enough to have a second look. And then I saw it. Right up there where the tree branched out: a baby. Looking down on me with the reddist eyes I’d seen yet, like flares. I stopped right where I was. It wasn’t moving now, like it knew I’d seen it. Naked like the others I’d seen a while back. Then it scrabbled out of sight to the other side of the tree.

  I kinda crept through the undergrowth and tried to catch it napping but it was gone. I looked all over but there wasn’t a sign of it now. And what the hell was it doing out here in the first place? I thought about those red eyes and felt a goose walk across my grave. And all I wanted, suddenly, was to be the hell away from there. I remembered the last time and wondered if these babies always traveled in packs. Tried to satisfy myself there were no more lurking about in the trees or hid behind bushes.

  Kept pushing on, faster now.

  It was right before first light that I came up on the ridge. From where I was I could look down into a sloping valley that musta been a couple of hundred yards across. And right in the dead center was another little compound. Had a fence around it like the last one but there was only one building and the rest of the area inside was littered with tents and some other little clapboard arrangements. I hunkered down in the tree line to see what was what because there was something else damn strange to boot.

  Music. Loud blasting organ music. Like the stuff you used to hear at church. I tried to place the song itself but I guess my mind ain’t that particular nowadays. And like I said, loud. Standing on the ridgeline it just sorta rolled up the incline and washed all over me. And I thought what the fuck? This was like a calling-card for mudheads. Anything anywhere close would hear all that racket and come running. Hell, I wondered then why there weren’t mudheads crawling all over the place. No clue.

  Then I looked hard at the one true building. There was a sort of cross set out front of it and the building was obviously where the music was coming from. Weird.

  By this time the sun was up pretty good and whoever was down there started to stir. People began coming out of the tents and clapboard shacks. Dirty looking somebitches but a lot of em. Coming out and looking up at the sky, putting their hands up in the air and kinda dancing around. Nothing really organized but everybody definitely on the same page. Then the door of the church opened up and this big bastard came out and stood there for a second with his hands on his hips. Looking around at the rest of his crew doing whatever they were doing. Then he clapped his hands together, I couldn’t hear it over the music, but it looked like the rest of em did because they all started forming up in front of the church and I guess someone inside turned the music down because it kinda faded into the background all of a sudden.

  It took the whole bunch, and I guess there was about fifty or so, about two or three minutes to form up into neat little rows right in front of the church. The big dude still standing there looking out at em. When they were all situated he held up his hands and the music stopped completely. Then they all put their hands together over their heads and started what had to be a prayer. It went on for a long time, everybody, again, on the same page musta been, because I could catch little snatches of whatever it was on the breeze from where I was time to time. Couldn’t make any sense outta it though. And it was while all this shit was going on that the mudheads started to come on. Like ants, really. Everywhere the tree line stopped, here they come. I heard some rustling in the trees behind me and turned to watch about thirty of em meandering through the woods toward where I was. It did give me a little start, but luckily there weren’t no Red Eyes.

  They saw me too as they come on and unlike most other times I’d fetched in with mudheads, this time they steered clear, washing around me on both sides but none too close. Like I mighta smelled worse than they did. Up and over the ridge they went, flowing down into the valley where the church compound was. I decided to stay put. Just because I hadn’t seen any Red Eyes didn’t mean those fuckers weren’t already down there or coming.

  After awhile the mudheads stopped slippin up through the trees. But hell, there musta been a hundred or more all grouped near the fence line, just standing there. Not a one of em trying to bite through the fence or digging at the ground. All just standing there looking silent through the fence at all that hot live blood on the other side. And before I had the time to consider that little nugget good the music blasted out, louder this time.

  Full-fledged organ extravaganza.

  The Live-ers on the other side of the fence began to go ape-shit like you used to see on TV with them religious snake-handlers and such, hands up in the air, head back, yelling and screaming, cuttin up, and the big dude out front dancing around like he was trying to earn money in the French Quarter. But all that action didn’t do diddley-shit to the mudheads standing on the other side of the fence. They just continued staring on through the fence like the nicest bunch a stinkers you ever saw.

  Then the door of the church opened up and two other big dudes muscled out with a woman stuffed between em. You could tell she didn’t want any of it by the way she was jerking and tearing at em, but
she couldn’t fight too good anyway because she had a baby in her arms. They brought her out past the big dude and forced her down on her knees. The crowd kinda circled back and gave her some room. There she was in the middle of a buncha religious nuts, the music booming out like Saturday night at the club. Down on the ground with the baby in her arms.

  And it was then I could see the baby was naked.

  Some little thing clicked in my brain but it didn’t stay there for long.

  I looked at the crowd of mudheads outside the fence. They were beginning to get a little restless. Fidgeting around, a couple of them moving forward to scratch at the fence. One bitin at it. The girl down there with the baby jumped up and tried to run into the crowd but it was no-go. A couple of men grabbed her and forced her back to the ground. The big dude moved up and tore the baby outta her grip and I thought, what the fuck is this?

  He held the little crying thing over his head and the crowd went wild. The mudheads near the fence almost started dancing around too. The girl was screaming something awful but you couldn’t hear jack-shit above the sound of all that organ music. Then the crowd opened up in a straight line like Moses throwin back the Red Sea to where the mudheads were. From where I was hunched down it was