by Natalie Ann
“No. I’m not someone to lotion them up for softness.”
“You’ve got large man hands. That is what a girl really wants. Trust me.”
He’d have to take her word for it. But he was done talking. He was shocked he hadn’t slammed right into her yet.
His dick moved up between her cheeks, sliding up and down. She started to moan and he knew he was going to be pushed to his limit soon enough.
“You aren’t going to tease me, are you?” she asked. “A girl can only take so much. Not to mention my arms aren’t strong enough to stay like this forever.”
“Put your arms down and your head on them,” he said.
The minute she did, her ass was up in the air and his brain went into overdrive, followed by his body.
He shifted the string between her cheeks out of the way, saw how wet she was and slid right into her moist pussy to the sound of her moan.
“Touch me,” she said. “I need more.”
His hand moved around her waist and between her legs, found her swollen bud and just started to flick at it.
The noises she was making didn’t sound human and he didn’t care because he was pretty sure he was making them too.
“I hope you’re close,” he said. “I’m not sure how much longer I can last.”
He almost had his arm around her waist as his hand started to rub up and down. His other arm moved up and ripped the front of the lace exposing her breast, his fingers going to her nipple and pinching her.
Her ass moved up higher and his hips started to slam in and out of her. He felt her tighten around him, his name almost torn from her mouth as he emptied everything he had into her.
Her knees gave out and she slid down, him on top of her. “Sorry,” he said, pulling out and rolling over. “Didn’t mean to squish you.”
“Oh, you can squish me anytime you want if that is going to be the result. I might need to buy a few more of these while I’m at it since this one is toast.”
“Sorry about that too,” he said, looking at the front of it with the big tear down the center.
“Don’t be sorry,” she said, climbing off the bed with him. “I’ll just put one of your shirts on now and we can snuggle in bed. I feel real sleepy.”
He walked into the bathroom, took care of the condom, washed and dried his face, then brushed his teeth. When he opened the door she was standing there leaning against the wall. “You could have come in to brush your teeth with me.”
“I need to pee,” she said, “and I heard you doing it. I’m not sure we are quite there yet in terms of sharing.”
He snorted. “I’m a guy. We don’t care. I was in the service and you just peed where you needed to half the time. We all do it.”
“Well, I don’t squat anywhere I can when I need to pee though at one point I told Kayla she could go when I was getting ready. But the bathroom at the house is different. The toilet is kind of hidden from the sink so though I wouldn’t have seen her, she said no.”
“See,” he said. “What’s the big deal? But I’ll get out of your way.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss, his hand sliding under his T-shirt that was covering her hips. He grabbed her ass then gave it a little tap.
She laughed and shook her head, then shut the door in his face.
He really wasn’t sure what the two of them had right now, but it sure the hell made him happy.
29
Find Myself
The next morning Sidney found herself up at nine. As tired as she was, she was also nervous for the conversation she was going to have with Mac.
She’d bought her little outfit last night because she’d hoped she could loosen him up and put him in a good mood for today, but then realized that was kind of sneaky and she didn’t want to be that way.
It was more that she needed the courage to do it. She didn’t see where Mac would be upset over anything. She hoped not at least.
When she walked downstairs, Mac was on the couch with a cup of coffee in his hand and SportsCenter on again. She had no idea if he watched sports because they never had the time together at night or on the weekends for it.
Her job kept her away when he’d be watching TV and when they were together, they were normally doing other things.
“I like you in my T-shirt better,” he said when he turned his head.
She’d showered and put on leggings and a sweatshirt. “I like it too, but I can’t always walk around all the time that way. What if your neighbors saw me with my ass cheeks hanging out when I went to my car to get something?”
“My neighbors would think I was one lucky guy. What do you need to get in your car?” he asked as she put her sneakers on and grabbed her keys from her jacket.
“I’ll explain it all at once.”
He stood up. “Can I get you a coffee?”
“You can. I’ll be right back.”
She went to the passenger seat and grabbed the bag with her books in it. She’d kept them in there overnight, but she wanted to be able to show him what she did. That would be after the talk about her sister.
“I thought I’d make breakfast for us. What are you in the mood for?”
“Coffee is good,” she said. “Maybe some toast.”
He opened up the drawer and got the loaf of bread out and put four slices in the toaster. While they were cooking he got the butter and peanut butter. He knew she liked peanut butter on her toast. He knew a lot about her.
Once their quick breakfast was ready, he put everything on plates and they walked back into the living room. They rarely sat at the dining room table unless it was dinner.
She got comfortable on the couch, one foot under her hips, her plate of toast on her lap, her coffee mug in her hand.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he asked. “It seems serious.”
Figures he’d be able to see there was something going on. “Nothing serious or worrisome. I told you last week when we had time I’d tell you about my family some more. I don’t want you to think I’m avoiding it, even if I am. It’s a long story. Not a happy one either. It’s hard to get the words out, but it’s time you know.”
“Are you in trouble with the law? Running from someone?”
“No. It’s not that.” There wasn’t any reason to say anything about Rod’s letter. That wasn’t running from anything. That was a nuisance. “I slipped and made a comment and you realized I wasn’t an only child. I want to tell you about it.”
“So you were trying to hide it?” he asked, frowning.
“Not like you think. It’s just hard to talk about it. I’m a twin,” she said quickly.
“Really? Where is your twin? Sister or brother?”
“Sister. Her name was Anne.”
“Was?” he asked.
“Yes. She died when we were fourteen. A part of me died that day too. It’s hard enough to lose a sibling, but a twin? Life was never the same after that.”
He reached his hand over and laid it on her leg and rubbed up and down while she took a sip of her coffee to wet her dry throat. She didn’t feel like crying, but she didn’t want to talk either.
“What happened?”
“She had asthma. I was the healthier of the two of us. Not that it slowed her down at all, but she needed an inhaler whenever she got sick. When she played in gym class at times. When the seasons changed. She’d gotten the flu and of course everyone watched her, but her fever broke after a few days and she seemed fine.”
“Seemed?”
“Guess it moved to her lungs even though she wasn’t wheezing. She wasn’t really coughing either. It must have been fast. I was in school, my mother left her to run some errands, thinking Anne was just sleeping. She had an asthma attack. Her cell phone was in the kitchen where my mother put it so she’d rest.”
“So she didn’t have a way to call for help?”
“No,” she said. “My mother found her on the kitchen floor, her inhaler next to her, the phone on the floor. It was almost like she kn
ocked it off the counter trying to get it. She probably wore herself out coming downstairs to get the phone on top of it.”
“I’m so sorry, Sidney.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“You blamed your mother, didn’t you?”
She should have known he’d asked that. “Yes. I was a kid and blamed them. I blamed myself for not feeling that something was wrong when everyone always said twins feel those things. But I didn’t. I was in school having fun and my sister was lying on the kitchen floor dying. I had no idea.”
He took the plate off her lap and the coffee out of her hand and put them on the end table, then pulled her into his arms. “You can’t blame yourself either.”
“I know. I learned that. My parents smothered me after. I was their only child left but then part of me wondered if they thought of her when they looked at me. Did they ever see me anymore? Were they going to let me live my life or keep me locked in a bubble because of their mistake with Anne?”
It wasn’t until those words were out of her mouth that she realized they’d been trapped there for years. That her dream the other night brought it out of her. That maybe that was part of why she didn’t go home. Because she wanted to be seen for her and not what they’d lost.
“I’m sure there might have been some of that there,” he said. “It sounds like human nature for a parent. But you said you went to college close to home.”
“I did. But when I was done I left. I couldn’t stay any longer. I needed to branch out and be on my own. Whether it’s running or hiding, or just looking for freedom, I’m not sure. I just needed to find myself.”
“And you haven’t been home once since?” he asked.
“No. It’s been years. Five years, almost six. We talk a few times a year, text once a month or so. My mother would do more, the same with my father, but I don’t reach out. They reach out to me. They try and I just can’t. It’s wrong of me and I know it. It seems like when we talk we fight.”
“They don’t want to give up on you like most parents. But they are giving you space too,” he said.
“They are. A few months ago my mother called me. We talked and it started out like it always did, but then she said they really want to see me. Between my best friends finding love and making families, and me meeting you, I think I softened a bit. I’m not sure. I told her that I would consider it and to give me some time.”
“And she didn’t push then either, did she?”
“No. She didn’t when in the past she might have. I guess that helped. And now I feel like it might be time to see them again, but it’s been so hard to let them know that.”
“I’m sure they would understand. I’ll be there for you either way.”
“I knew you would be. I’m considering seeing if they want to come when the weather is warmer. They’ve never been people to vacation and maybe they wouldn’t mind coming here for a week and relaxing and spending some time with me too. I can take a few days off of work. Either way, we can work it out.”
“I’m glad you told me. That you felt comfortable enough to.”
“Me too. There’s more though I want you to know.”
“More than this?” he asked.
She moved back out of his arms. “You asked me once what it was I wanted to do with my life. Career wise. I know what I want to do. I’ve started it, but it’s not to the point I can make a living from it. I hope I can at some point, but for now I love doing it and I’m making some money.”
“Just loving what you do is enough,” he said.
“But it doesn’t pay the bills,” she said.
She’d never be in a position again where she was strapped and trapped. And now could be the time to tell Mac about Rod, but she wouldn’t. This conversation was going too well and that would just ruin it.
“So, what is it you want to do?” he asked.
“I’ve published six children’s books already. I’d love to do it full time. I write and illustrate them. I’ve never sent anything to a publisher or agent before. I just get a story in my head and then do the drawings. It’s so much easier to self-publish if you do your research and have a good marketing plan. I do and I’m doing well for myself.”
“I have no idea what to say to that,” he said.
“Not anything very exciting for someone who majored in English and then had an Art minor.”
“Actually it makes complete sense. And then seeing what you’ve drawn. I almost feel like a fool for not realizing it.”
“You don’t think it’s silly?”
“Why would you think I’d feel that way?” he asked, looking confused.
“Because I’m a single adult writing children’s books.”
“What are you writing about?” he asked.
She got up and brought over the books. “This one I released last week and dedicated it to Amanda. I guess I find it easy to write because so many people talk to me in the bar. I hear stories and think it could be a learning experience for kids.”
He looked through each book, read them too, she could see. Laughing at some of the pages and making her smile.
“These are fantastic,” he said. “You should be so proud of yourself and not hide it from anyone.”
“I just told Amanda yesterday.”
He shook his head. “Just when I think I understand you I find that I don’t. I’m not sure why you thought no one would think this is amazing. You sell a lot?” he asked.
“More than you realize. Just not enough to really make a living at it. My overhead isn’t much. I just get a portion of each book that is printed. They are set up as print on demand. That makes it easier. One more thing…”
“I’m not sure what more there could be,” he said. “Are you a royal in hiding too?”
She laughed. Leave it to him to make her smile at the oddest of times. “Hardly. This is just a new thing I decided to do. It’s silly and I’m almost embarrassed, but then realized I shouldn’t be. I’m creating an adult coloring book too.”
She felt her face start to heat up. Telling Amanda was easier than telling a man. She was waiting for him to laugh, but he didn’t. “My mother will be the first one in line to buy it.”
“Amanda said she’s going to too. I should print her some of the pages already. You don’t think it’s silly?”
“Not at all. You’ve got a talent and should use it. If it makes you happy and you get to earn money at it, all the more. I have to say, I’m a little stunned you are keeping this from me. From everyone. But is it because you are afraid of being judged or are embarrassed by it all? That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I had a dream of Anne. I dream of her a lot. Just memories and it’s nice and sweet. But last time it was her as an adult. My subconscious telling me to get my head out of my ass and be proud of myself. I guess it was time to do that. Had you laughed at me, I’m not sure I’d ever tell anyone again.”
“Did you really think I’d laugh at this?”
“I had no clue. Fear maybe?”
“It’s great. I’m not sure how many times I have to say it. The question is, will you let me tell others or are you still hiding this?”
“Who do you want to tell?” she asked.
“My mother would think this is great. She’s an elementary school teacher. The ideas and things you could do or get from her would be endless. Your books might do well in the school.”
“Kindergarten maybe. Well, a few of these. I started a new one. I should tell you that so you know. First, I’m not using you for it. But you gave me some inspiration.”
“I hope it wasn’t from what we did last night,” he said, tugging at the end of her hair.
“No, I’m not writing those kinds of books, nor drawing pictures for it. It’s called The Friendly Officer.”
He started to laugh. “I’m not sure how friendly I am. You aren’t using me or my face, are you?”
“It’s kind of after you a bit. Maybe even a few features. I’ll show you, but it’s car
toony, so no worries there. Anyway, it’s about trusting officers even if you don’t want to.”
“A good lesson and I’d loved to help you out with it if you need me to.”
“So you would model for me?”
“No,” he said, laughing this time. “I draw the line there.”
“Thanks, Mac. For letting me get it off my chest. And for not laughing at me.”
“No,” he said. “Thank you. For opening my eyes that I could find someone out there for me. For trusting me enough to tell me. For making me realize that I could find love when I never thought I’d ever find it again.”
Her mouth opened and closed. “Are you saying you love me, Mac?”
“I am. Hopefully you don’t laugh at me.”
“No,” she said. “Because I realized weeks ago I was falling in love with you too. And that is what made it easier for me to be open with you.”
She hugged him tight and knew today might be one of the best days of her life.
30
A Caring Soul
“You’ve got a glow to you,” Kayla said to her on Monday morning. She and Amanda decided to go visit.
“I guess you could say I’m happy,” she said.
“She’s in loooove,” Amanda said. “You can see it on her face even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Who says I don’t want to admit it?” she said.
“Did you tell Mac you loved him?” Kayla asked, all excited.
For someone who’d had a baby a few weeks ago she looked damn good. Not even so sleep deprived as you’d expect. Of course Kayla had been working nights before and was probably used to not getting a lot of sleep. She was pretty sure Kayla would never work again a day in her life now that she was married to Hunter.
“I did,” she admitted. “Saturday night.”
“And you’re just telling me now?” Amanda asked.
When the baby started to fuss and they heard the whimpers over the monitor, Kayla stood up. “So much for a long nap. Guess he’s hungry again. Hold that thought, Sidney. No details until I’m back.”