Just One Moment

by Dena Blake

  “It’s your leg,” Chloe said and then glanced at the doctor.

  He nodded. “Your femur was broken in the accident. We inserted a rod, and everything looks good.”

  “A rod?” The words blew out of her mouth softly.

  “Secured by six screws. The femur is the largest bone in your body. It holds most of your body weight when you walk. You’ll have to go through physical therapy for a few weeks, and you’ll need to hold off on any sports activities for a while, but it should heal nicely.” He turned to the nurse. “We need to get her scheduled for PT right away.” He headed for the door and the nurse followed.

  “Can I have a quick word with you?” Chloe asked.

  He stopped just short of the door and turned around. Shay couldn’t hear what Chloe was saying, but his brows furrowed, and he walked back to her bedside.

  “Can you tell me what month it is?”

  The beautiful lilies and honeysuckle they’d planted in the front yard flashed in her head, then the crispness of the beach. “May. We just closed on the beach house last month.” She glanced up at Chloe, but she wasn’t smiling. “Right?”

  “You’re a few months off.” He plucked his flashlight from his pocket and flashed it in her eyes again.

  She shifted forward, and her body tingled from the pain. “How many months?”

  “It’s March now.” Chloe’s voice was soft, tentative even, and the concern in her eyes was clear.

  “You’ll have a few things to catch up on.” He smiled and patted her on the hand.

  “She will remember, right?” Chloe asked.

  “The memories may or may not come back.” The smile on the doctor’s face didn’t falter.

  She’d lost time. Almost a whole year. The pain in her leg increased as she blew out a breath and settled back against the mattress. “Can you give me something for this pain?”

  “Sure. Nothing too strong. We need to get you back on your feet as soon as possible.” He glanced at the nurse, nodded, and they both left the room.

  They weren’t even going to give her a day to absorb the loss. She glanced up at Chloe, who was smiling slightly, but her brows were pulled together. Clearly, the news had upset her too. She hadn’t noticed at first, but Chloe looked different. Her hair was longer, straighter. Ten or eleven months’ worth of growth. She reached up, took a few strands between her fingers.

  “It’s gotten long. I need to cut it,” Chloe said.

  “No. Don’t. It’s beautiful.” Everything about Chloe was beautiful: her hair, her eyes, her smile. She was even more gorgeous than she remembered.

  Chloe’s cheeks reddened as she smiled, and she looked away. It seemed as though she’d never heard that compliment before.

  The nurse came back with a small cup containing a pill and a Styrofoam cup full of water. “This should help take the edge off. You’re scheduled for physical therapy this afternoon.”

  “You guys don’t mess around, do you?”

  “Nope. We don’t want those joints to freeze up on you.” She took the cup from her and walked to the door. “You’ll thank me six months down the road when you have full mobility.”

  “Can you fill me in on what happened?” She saw the reluctance in Chloe’s eyes. “Maybe just start with the accident. You look okay, so you weren’t with me, right?”

  Chloe shook her head. “No. I was at the beach house.” She took in a deep breath and smiled. “But I can tell you what the emergency responders told me.”

  “Did you call my parents?”

  Chloe nodded. “Considering your condition, I felt I should.”

  “Have they been here at all?”

  Chloe nodded again. “A couple of times. Your dad’s downstairs getting coffee. And I think your mother is hoping you’ve forgotten you’re a lesbian,” Chloe said with a chuckle.

  She reached for Chloe’s hand. “Definitely not the case. I’m still hopelessly in love with this gorgeous woman who picked me up on the beach at her brother’s wedding.”

  “I didn’t pick you up. We just ran into each other.”

  “Hmm, that’s not the way I remember it.”

  “We’ll have to table that discussion for another time.” Chloe’s voice was low and soft, the way it got when she was unsure of herself. “Your dad should be back soon.” Chloe squeezed her hand. “I’m so glad you’re awake. I was worried about you.”

  “How long have I been out?”

  “Just a few days.”

  “The whole waiting thing must have been tough. Are you okay?”

  The door pushed open before Chloe could answer, and Shay’s father came in.

  “Princess, you’re awake.” The excitement in his voice was clear. “We’ve been so worried.” He looked at Chloe.

  “She doesn’t remember the accident,” Chloe said.

  Her father patted her hand. “You just relax, honey. It will all come back to you soon.”

  “It’s possible she may not remember.”

  Shay’s dad cut her off. “We can discuss her recovery in more detail with the doctor later.”

  * * *

  Chloe sat silently, staring at the journal on the table in front of her as she waited for Jackson to arrive. She’d called him, and he’d agreed to meet her at the pancake house across from the hospital. It hadn’t taken Shay long to fall asleep after Chloe had given her the facts she knew about the accident. She’d purposely not told her why she’d been at that intersection at that time or what had driven her to be distracted and not see the car speeding through the red light. None of it had come back to her, and that was probably a good thing at this point.

  Shay had sat frozen for some time, amazed and a bit disturbed that she couldn’t remember anything about it and seemed sad to learn that her Kona Blue Mustang convertible, her only real indulgence, had been totaled. That was the least of Chloe’s worries. She had no idea how she was going to tell Shay about the last six months, especially how abruptly their relationship had come to an end, and why.

  A calmness had enveloped her now that Shay was sleeping. She was alive and okay. Her heart had thumped wildly when she saw Shay’s eyes flutter open. She’d been so relieved she hadn’t thought anything else could go wrong. They’d finally reduced the medication they’d been giving her to induce the coma. Whatever swelling had existed in her brain had gone down, and the doctor was optimistic about her recovery. He’d said it had been minimal, which was beneficial.

  Clear horror had shown in Shay’s eyes. Her gaze had darted around the room and then finally settled on Chloe. A wisp of a smile had come and then left her lips, and she’d tried to speak. Chloe had picked up the water glass from the table, slipped the straw between Shay’s lips, and let her drink.

  The sound she’d made when she’d tried to move had been horrifying, and the confusion was evident in her voice when Shay finally realized she was in the hospital. The look in her eyes when the doctor mentioned the accident and her broken leg had been nothing short of panic.

  Chloe had been relieved and terrified all at once. Shay was awake, but how would she react to her? Would Shay blame her for the accident or, even worse, hate her for moving on? But then the last thing she’d remembered turned out to be a day on the beach so many months ago. Chloe remembered the day clearly. It was beautiful, the first time in weeks that everything had felt right between the two of them. They hadn’t had any work or events, absolutely no obligations, and they’d thoroughly enjoyed each other.

  A whirlwind of thoughts filled Chloe’s mind, and she felt dizzy. The love of her life had wiped every scrap of the last year from her memory. Good and bad. Had it been that inconsequential? Had she been that unimportant? An odd jumble of emotions flooded her—relief, happiness, joy, sadness. She couldn’t even begin to interpret her feelings in that moment. Clearly she still loved Shay with all her heart. What happened next would be the struggle. How could she reconcile her immense love for Shay with the pain of betrayal in her heart?

  She saw Jackso
n pull into the parking lot through the window and watched him park. He seemed to be taking an excessive amount of time getting inside. She saw him approach the door with his phone glued to his ear, probably talking to Whitney. In that marriage, one of them never did anything without telling the other. Once he was inside and seated, the waitress came over and took their order. Chloe didn’t have much of an appetite, so she ordered French fries, and Jackson got pancakes. Since he was a kid, breakfast for dinner had always been one of his favorites.

  They’d been sitting there for close to ten minutes, and she’d barely said a word to him. She had no idea where to start.

  “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “She doesn’t remember anything that happened. Not her affair, not the separation. None of it. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Why can’t you start again?” Jackson picked up Shay’s journal, thumbed through it, and paused to read an entry. “There’s some pretty strong stuff in here.”

  “I’m aware.” That didn’t make the situation any easier.

  The waitress brought their order, and he set the journal on the table. “Do you regret falling in love with her the first time? Would you do it all again?” he asked as he buttered and syruped his pancakes.

  “No. I don’t regret any of that. Would I do it again?” She blew out a slow breath. “I might.”

  He stuffed a bite of pancake into his mouth and chewed before he spoke again. “That’s good enough for me. What are you waiting for? Make it work this time.” Chloe glanced up at Jackson and saw a slow smile creep across his face. “Fall in love with her again.” He tapped the journal with his index finger. “Be open to the second chance you’ve been given. Not necessarily the same as it was before, maybe something new.”

  “You don’t understand. I never really fell out of love with her.” She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “We did so many wonderful things together. It was a courtship most people only dream about, and it didn’t change after we were married. Well, until this last year.” She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain stabbing her heart. “My life was perfect until I fucked it up. I thought everything would always stay the same, but Shay got busy, preoccupied with life. No, she was trying to make our life better, and I acted like a spoiled princess who wasn’t getting enough attention.”

  “Then you found out about Lila.” He talked through the food in his mouth. “And Erica gave you the attention you needed, and you fell right into it.” He took a gulp of coffee and relaxed against his chair.

  “I don’t want to think about Lila or Erica.” She really wanted to blame it on them, but she couldn’t. They hadn’t poked the holes in the dam. They’d only loosened the corks.

  “I didn’t say it would be easy.” Jackson eyed the journal. “But you have this.” He picked it up, thumbed through it again. “Use it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Everything you need to know is right in here.” He dropped it onto the table and pushed it in front of her. “Keep reading it. Whether you know it or not, there are clearly things in here you need to remember.” He got up, took two twenties from his pocket, and dropped them onto the check tray. He waved her off when she started to protest. “My treat today. You get the next one.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Just remember she’s not innocent in this whole mess.”

  * * *

  It wasn’t long before Dr. Graves had the nurse bring Chloe from the waiting room to his office. She’d set up an appointment for this morning to visit with him about Shay’s memory loss and to find out when she would be discharged. After they’d exchanged niceties, she’d taken a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, and he began to fill her in on the details as he flipped through her chart.

  “We need to keep her for a few more days, possibly a week to get therapy for her leg on schedule. After that, she’ll need to continue therapy for a few months.” He continued to read his notes. “You can do that outpatient here at the hospital and at home as she regains her mobility.”

  “What about her memory?” She leaned forward in her chair. “When will that come back?”

  “When a patient has a traumatic brain injury, also known as a TBI, we can expect a variety of outcomes. It’s very common for the brain to conceal unwanted events from the conscious mind, including the event that caused the trauma. The brain injury can affect cognitive functions such as attention span, learning, information processing, and both short- and long-term memory. Some patients have issues remembering to remember as well. Shay seems to have lost a chunk of memory, which isn’t uncommon. Whether it will come back or not remains to be seen.”

  “What can I do to help her?”

  “Be flexible and patient. She may remember all of it, some of it, or none of it.” He didn’t seem concerned as he relaxed in his chair and spoke matter-of-factly.

  “Should I help her? I mean, tell her things that happened?”

  “That’s up to you. I wouldn’t share anything that might cause her more stress.” Dr. Graves pulled his brows together. “I’ve seen cases where that kind of information has been a detriment.”

  They’d definitely had a tumultuous year. “So, don’t tell her the bad things?”

  “Correct. She may have blocked those memories because they were too difficult.”

  A knot formed in her stomach and immediately leapt to her throat. She doesn’t remember any of it. Had Shay rejected everything that had happened between them over the past year? Had Chloe’s actions pushed her into the affair? She could hardly bear the ache within her.

  She shot up out of her chair and thanked the doctor. He gave her a strange look, said he would be available if she needed more information, and walked her to the door. He must have thought she was crazy, but she had to get out of there. She rushed to the elevator and punched the button for the lobby several times. The ride down was a blur, and when the doors opened, she pushed past a few waiting people, headed directly outside, and sucked in a huge breath of fresh air. She didn’t know where she was going from here, but it wasn’t into her current relationship with Erica. She had more questions than answers at this point.

  As she sat on the bench in front of the hospital watching people come and go, Chloe slowly decided that Shay was coming home with her when she was released. She’d known that was the only choice from the beginning but hadn’t cemented it in her mind yet. Her first thought had been this can’t be happening. But now she knew what she had to do and that it would be the best for both of them.

  She needed a plan. Shay always said they should have a plan when something unexpected happened. She took a piece of paper from her purse and started creating a checklist, talking out loud to herself as she wrote. “Where will we go from the hospital? The apartment or the beach house? Is it accessible?” She scratched out the apartment. “Definitely not the apartment. Getting in and out would be difficult there. With a driveway and just one story to navigate, the beach house would be much easier.” It would also be so much easier for Chloe to maintain Shay’s care along with her art-gallery business. After moving in, they’d set up an office there as well. “Where will she sleep? Where will I sleep?”

  She let her hands fall to her lap, paper and pen clenched in each one. How was she going to manage the sleeping arrangements? Shay would expect her next to her in what used to be their bed. Fuck! She hadn’t even thought about that. “Just calm down, Chloe.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could handle that, couldn’t she? Being close to Shay every night for the next six months or so? Conflicted emotions flooded her, and the knot that had just begun to loosen formed in her stomach again. “Oh my God.” This was going to be way harder than she’d thought.

  What would she tell her about the past year? Not a thing. Absolutely nothing. Maybe she’d fill her in on the basics, but not anything bad about their relationship. That would just be double punishment for Shay, and it wouldn’t do her any goo
d. Reliving the whole mess just brought the hurt back all over again. Chloe felt that every day. Shay had already lost enough, and she refused to make her recovery any more difficult.

  She only hoped she could hold it together herself. Bottling up all her emotions was challenging at best, and it would only be more difficult in the future. It seemed as though Chloe was being punished as well, and all she had done was move on with her life. Too quickly, maybe.

  Chapter Eight

  Chloe assessed the therapy room as they entered. It was medium sized, with wood floors spanning the space and mirrors covering several walls. Various types of equipment, including parallel bars, exercise steps, stationary bikes, and medicine balls, were grouped in different stations around the room. To her left was a half-wall finished with a large plate-glass window spanning it just short of the ceiling. The room on the other side seemed to be an office that contained a desk with a computer and several generic chairs. All the walls were white except the one across from the office, which was a deep royal blue. Several people in maroon, blue, and green scrubs were scattered around the room. A couple of them were helping patients, one was folding towels on a table against the wall, and another furiously clicked keys on the keyboard of a portable computer in a kiosk across the room. The last, dressed in maroon scrubs with a white long-sleeved shirt underneath, spun around and smiled widely.

  “Hey! I’m so glad to see you up and about.” She crossed the room quickly and held out her hand to Shay. “I’m Rachel Taylor, your physical therapist.” She was taller than Shay by a few inches and had dark-blue eyes that sparkled as she talked. Her long, dark hair had been braided and swept to the side, Chloe guessed to keep it out of the way while she worked.

  “Nice to meet you.” Shay gave Rachel a strange look as she took her hand and shook it.

  “Sorry. It must seem weird that I know who you are. I’ve been to see you a couple times while you were sleeping, making sure your leg didn’t get stiff.” Rachel held on to Shay’s hand for a beat longer than Chloe expected before she let go. “I heard you don’t want to waste any time.”