Just One Moment

by Dena Blake

  Then suddenly Chloe raised her head and snapped her eyes wide. She stared blindly at her, then jumped out of bed in a weird sort of panic. She just stood there staring for a few minutes, then scrubbed her face with her hands, mumbled something about coffee, and zipped out of the room.

  “Hey, you’re not listening.” Rachel’s voice rang through her thoughts. “What’s going on with you today?”

  “Sorry. Just a little preoccupied.” Sweat dripped from Shay’s nose as she turned within the bars to take the course again.

  Rachel grabbed her by the waist. “Why don’t we take a break?” She led her to one of the padded tables and lowered it, so she could sit. “You wanna tell me about it?”

  It wasn’t really something she should discuss with her physical therapist, who was just a little less than a stranger, but she had no one else. No one that wasn’t related to Chloe. “It’s kind of personal.”

  The look on Rachel’s face wasn’t clear. “You don’t have to tell me, but whatever you do stays with me.”

  “Chloe has been different.” She played with the zipper of her hoodie. “She slept in the bed with me night before last and yesterday morning…” She looked around the room, anywhere but at Rachel. Sharing private details of her life was unusual for her. “We were intimate, and she ran out of the room like a jackrabbit being chased by a wild dog.” She let it all spill out.

  “Oh,” Rachel said, then hesitated. “Maybe she was worried about hurting you.”

  “She didn’t say anything about that. She just said something about getting coffee and left. She hasn’t been back since and hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts.”

  “Yeah, that’s a little weird.” Rachel patted her on the thigh. “She’s probably just tired. Situations like this can be very stressful.”

  “I guess that’s possible, but I don’t understand her not letting me know she’s okay.” She rubbed her temple. “I just wish I could remember the past year. That would at least give me a clue what’s going on with her.”

  “Why don’t we call this session for now. We can go to the cafeteria, get something to eat, and pick this back up later. You probably need a change of scenery.”

  “I’m not very hungry.”

  “I am, and they have ice cream.” Rachel smiled widely.

  “Chocolate?”

  “And vanilla. Soft serve. You can even get a twist.”

  “No.” She growled. “We don’t ruin chocolate ice cream by lacing it with vanilla.”

  Rachel smiled. “Absolutely not. The ultimate sin.” She crossed the room and grabbed a wheelchair. “Your chariot, my dear.” She stood and shifted into the chair. “Hold on,” Rachel said once they were out of the therapy room and into the hallway. She didn’t waste any time getting her through the corridor, her sneaker-clad feet slapping the floor as she pushed her swiftly to the elevator.

  “Should I be worried? I mean, do you have a license to drive this thing?”

  Rachel chuckled. “Learner’s permit, but I’m catching on fast.” She punched the button for the elevator.

  “I can see that. Is this like the autobahn? No speed limits?”

  “Unless my boss is here, and then it’s zero to two miles per hour, a snail’s pace.” The elevator door opened, and a few people got out. Rachel whipped the chair around and backed inside.

  “You have a boss?”

  “Doesn’t everyone?” Rachel continued when Shay hesitated a minute too long. “You can’t remember if you have one. Can you?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “So, what do you do for a living?”

  “I’m an actuary.” She glanced up at Rachel to see if she knew what that was, and she nodded. “Last I remember I was working on a huge new product that could’ve put me on track for chief actuary.”

  “Do you have a laptop you can look at or any pictures on your phone that might spark your memory?”

  “Oh my God. I keep a journal.” Why hadn’t she remembered that before now? “I’m not sure where they are, though.” She remembered having some at both the apartment and the beach house.

  “Maybe you should ask Chloe. I’m sure she’ll know.”

  “There are a lot of things I should ask her.” And she would soon. Chloe’s actions yesterday morning had rattled her, and she was worried something between them had changed over the past year. Her journals were a good place to start.

  The elevator doors opened. “And we’re off,” Rachel said as she rushed her out toward the cafeteria.

  Rachel parked her at a table and then brought back the tallest soft-serve ice cream cone she’d ever seen in one hand and a regular-sized one in the other. She kept the skyscraper cone for herself and handed the normal cone to Shay.

  “Uh. I’m feeling a little cheated.” Her gaze darted between the two cones.

  “Sorry. This wasn’t my plan, but see that kid over there?” She pointed to the little boy sitting a few tables away, and he held up an identical cone. “He bet me I couldn’t eat as much ice cream as him.” She rushed to the counter and brought a large drink cup and a spoon to the table. “For when it gets messy.” She stared at the melting monstrosity. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to eat this without it melting all over me.”

  “Is he one of your patients?”

  “Yep, but not for long. He’s going home soon. Been here too long.”

  “Was he in an accident?”

  “Nope. Birth defect. Fixing nature can be challenging, but he’s done fantastic.” The smile on Rachel’s face was beautiful. Did she have someone at home to brighten with it? Surely, she did.

  “How did you two meet?”

  Shay snapped out of her thought. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You and Chloe?” She took a lick of the ice cream that had already begun dripping onto her hand.

  “We were at her brother’s wedding. I work with him.” She pulled her eyebrows together. “At least I do as far as I can remember.”

  “He introduced you?”

  “Not really.” She went through the whole story of how they’d met on the beach, the salty scent of the ocean, the crash of the waves, the sound of Chloe’s shouts of excitement as the cold water rushed over her feet. How they’d been instantly captivated by each other.

  “Wow, that’s quite a story.”

  “I know. When I met her, I was enchanted. She was so beautiful. I didn’t think I had a shot.” Shay warmed at the memory.

  “She is beautiful,” Rachel said with a smile. “So, when did she know you were the one?”

  “I said something stupid and made fun of myself. She told me months later that’s what hooked her.”

  “I can see someone easily falling for you.”

  Shay’s cheeks warmed. “You’re just being nice.”

  “Nope.” She held up three fingers. “If you weren’t already taken, I’d be in line.” Rachel took one last lick of ice cream before she dropped it into the cup, and they sat quietly for a few moments, Shay not wanting to leave but not wanting to stay. She was flattered, but she was also completely in love with her wife.

  “You want to see the atrium?” Rachel said, clearing the awkward moment.

  “I’d love that.”

  “You done with that?” Rachel chuckled and glanced downward. “I have ice cream all down the front of my shirt, don’t I?”

  Shay nodded and laughed. “That’s you and your gambling habit’s fault.”

  “Next time I’ll give you the big cone.” Rachel wiped her shirt with a napkin. “Just lost the other half of the bet. Joey said I wouldn’t eat the whole thing, but I didn’t have breakfast this morning, so I thought I might.”

  Rachel shot out of her chair, cleared the table, and took the trash to the can. She stopped by and talked to Joey, who was still eating his ice cream, before she came back. “Let’s get out of here. He’ll be sick later if he eats the whole thing, and I don’t want to be around when that happens.”

  “You’re a troublemak
er.”

  “Me? Never.” Rachel grinned before she got behind the wheelchair and popped a wheelie as she pushed her out of the cafeteria.

  * * *

  Chloe pressed her fingers to her forehead as she thumbed through the magazine in her lap. Yesterday, she’d drunk more bourbon, eaten nothing, and passed out on the bed in a pile of Shay’s clothes. When she woke around eleven that night, she’d seen all the calls Shay had made and the messages she’d sent, but she was in no shape to see or communicate with her or anyone else. The feelings she’d had yesterday morning when Shay had made love to her had thrown her life into a spin cycle she couldn’t temper last night. She wished she had a switch in her brain to turn off all these feelings she was having, but nothing seemed to alleviate them. Not even the alcohol had helped.

  This morning, after some time alone, a nice hot shower, and some advice that drunk Chloe had left for her on a notepad in the kitchen, she knew what she had to do. Shay was still her wife, and she had to take care of her no matter how she felt. The note she’d found from herself made it perfectly clear that drunk Chloe was still hopelessly in love with Shay, but sober Chloe still didn’t know if she could dive right back into a relationship she’d so painstakingly detached herself from.

  The laughter in the hallway returned her focus to the magazine in her lap. She glanced up when the door opened and the sound grew louder. As Rachel pushed Shay into the room, Shay was looking up at her, smiling. Then she saw Chloe and her smile faded.

  “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been worried.”

  “I had some things to take care of at the gallery that took longer than I expected.”

  “You don’t answer your messages?” Rachel’s tone showed clear disapproval.

  She narrowed her eyes and veered her gaze from Shay, using the only excuse she could think of. “Battery died.” She checked her watch and saw that Shay’s therapy session should have ended over an hour ago. “What have you two been up to? Seems like you’re having a good time.” Too good a time.

  “We went down to the cafeteria and got ice cream after my session.” Shay glanced back up at Rachel. “If we’d known you were here, we would’ve come and got you.”

  Rachel nodded and smiled slightly. “Definitely.”

  Her heart thumped. “Must have been really good ice cream. It’s almost two hours past when your session ended.” She wanted to stop, but she couldn’t. Her jealousy wouldn’t let her.

  “Rach gave me a tour of the atrium, and then we just started talking.”

  Rachel pushed Shay next to the bed and helped her out of the chair. “Shay doesn’t remember if she got that chief actuary position at work. You want to fill her in?”

  Seriously? The woman was stepping way out of bounds. The nickname—Rach—Shay had called her hadn’t gone unnoticed either. Chloe raced around the bed and took Shay by the waist and helped guide her into the bed. “It was yours, hands down.”

  “I got it?” A huge smile swept across Shay’s face.

  The perpetual knot in her stomach tightened again. “Yep. You were promoted a little over a month ago. All your hard work paid off.”

  “I got it.” Shay held her hand up for a high-five from Rachel, which she gave her immediately.

  “So, you are the boss. Sounds like a big deal,” Rachel said.

  “I guess so.” She smoothed the sheet across her legs. “I should probably check in, then.”

  “Jackson said not to worry. They’re handling everything while you’re out.” Chloe loosened the sheet at the bottom of the bed.

  “Oh.” Shay seemed disappointed. “Maybe he can bring me up to speed next time he’s here.”

  “I’m sure Chloe can call him and let him know you’re curious,” Rachel said.

  Again with the butting in. Who did this woman think she was? She was planning to get to all that and some other things but wasn’t prepared for it to happen this soon. “Sure. I’ll call him and see if he can stop by later. Bring us some dinner.” She glanced at Rachel. “Are you planning to stay for a while? I’ll have him pick up enough for you as well.” It was killing her, but she had to play nice.

  “Thanks, but I have plans.” Rachel’s smile was less than jovial.

  “I’m sure someone as successful as you has a boyfriend waiting somewhere.”

  “No. No one waiting for me. Just a date with friends.” Rachel went to the door. “Oh, and it would be a girlfriend if someone were waiting.” She seemed to purposely ignore Chloe and smile at Shay.

  I fucking knew it! “We have several single friends, if you’re interested?” She tried to make sure her voice was calm and even, but totally failed.

  Rachel glanced from Chloe to Shay and then back again. “I appreciate the offer, but I prefer to meet women on my own terms.” She pulled opened the door. “Can I have a word with you in the hall?”

  “Sure.” Chloe nodded and then glanced at Shay. “Be right back.” She felt like she was in grade school again, being summoned by her fifth-grade teacher after she’d been caught passing notes in class.

  The door had barely closed when Rachel lit into her. “I don’t know what happened to you yesterday or what you did that she can’t remember, but none of that matters now.”

  “It won’t happen again.” And it wouldn’t. Chloe knew it was wrong not to come back sooner.

  Rachel acted like she hadn’t heard her and continued to talk. “You can’t just disappear on her like that. She needs you. She refused to go to physical therapy this morning, and I barely got her to do thirty minutes this afternoon.”

  “She didn’t want to go? Why?” She moved toward the door, and Rachel grabbed her by the arm.

  “No. She was worried about you. Not that you’re worth it. You don’t just leave or look elsewhere when times get tough.”

  The bare skin of her arm stung as she pulled it free. “Lay off. You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Rachel was alluding to what she’d overheard in the waiting room and assumed Chloe was having an affair based on a small piece of a conversation.

  Rachel stood back and crossed her arms. “Okay, then clue me in.”

  “What’s between me and Shay is none of your business.” She wasn’t about to elaborate, and she didn’t have to justify her behavior. Especially not to someone she barely knew.

  Rachel took in a deep breath. “Then keep it out of this hospital and get your ass back in there and be present until she recovers.”

  Her jaw clenched as she ground her teeth together. “I said, it won’t happen again.” She spun around to the door and pulled it open.

  Rachel stuck her head just inside the door and said, “You two have fun tonight.” It was amazing how she’d flipped from vicious guard dog to sweet therapist in a matter of seconds.

  “You too,” Shay said with a grin.

  Chloe’s heartbeat hadn’t even begun to settle when she crossed the room to Shay’s bedside. “She’s totally flirting with you.”

  Shay rolled her eyes. “No, she’s not. She’s just being nice.” She reached out. “I have to admit, though, I kind of like that it makes you jealous.”

  She sat on the side of the bed, took Shay’s hand, and rubbed the back of it with her thumb nervously. “I’m not jealous. I just don’t like her doing fun things with you. I should be doing that.” She was jealous, and, Jesus, it was eating her up. She’d thought she was way past these feelings for Shay. “I’m sorry I worried you. I’ll make sure my phone is fully charged from now on.” She kissed her on the forehead and propped herself up next to her in bed. Shay leaned into her and quickly went to sleep.

  * * *

  Shay was so excited to get to stand up and take a shower by herself. The nurse hadn’t put her on her schedule and said she was ready to solo. Chloe had been conveniently gone during her showers since she’d been able to take them, and she hadn’t probed her as to why. She got out of bed and padded to the bathroom using her walker. When she didn’t see the stool in the middle of the shower as
it usually was, she realized that she’d underestimated the enormity of the task at hand. She turned around and looked at Chloe as she sat on the couch.

  “I think I might need help.” She glanced into the bathroom. “My stool is gone.”

  “Do you want me to call the nurse?”

  “No. That’ll take too long.” She twisted the handles of the walker in her hands. “She’s probably already helping someone else, and I need to shower before Jackson gets here.”

  “Oh. Okay.” She bolted off the couch, crossed the room, and led her into the bathroom, which included an open, walk-in shower, and helped her undress.

  Shay held the bar attached to the wall to steady herself, but washing was going to be difficult with one hand, and she didn’t think she could manage standing the whole time without holding on.

  She turned to Chloe with the bar of soap in her hand. “Can you help me?” The look on Chloe’s face was one of pure terror, like she’d never seen her naked before.

  “Uh…sure,” Chloe said and quickly pulled off her sweater and rolled up her sleeves before she took the soap from her. She swiped a washcloth from the shelf, wet it, and lathered it. “How about I hold you up while you wash yourself?” She handed her the washcloth and then put her hands on her waist.

  As Shay washed herself, she realized that Chloe was looking anywhere but at her. What was that about? She’d seen her naked a thousand times before and liked it. Why would she be uncomfortable? She knew she’d lost weight and had multiple bruises, but was her body that off-putting? She leaned over to wash her legs but was having a tough time reaching her calves.

  Chloe took the washcloth and soap and squatted down in front of her. The water spray didn’t seem to even faze her as she gently took one leg in her hands and washed, no, caressed it and then reached for her injured one. The slow, methodical motions were perfect foreplay. With one hand on the railing and the other on Chloe’s back, she balanced herself as the full effect of Chloe’s touch resonated deep in her belly. If this were any other situation, she’d take full advantage of their proximity and insist Chloe take full advantage of her.