Just One Moment

by Dena Blake

“Just life.” She took another drink of wine as she stared out onto the marina. “We need this break.”

  The lights danced in Chloe’s ocean-blue eyes, and the beauty of her face overtook Shay. She reached for Chloe’s hand, needing some sort of contact. “I agree.” They sat in silence, holding hands and gazing out onto the water until the ceviche arrived.

  Chloe dropped her hand and took control, as usual, dipping some of the cured fish onto a plate and sliding it in front of Shay, then doing the same for herself. “Go ahead. Taste it.”

  She pushed it around with her fork before scooping up a small bite and putting it in her mouth, holding it there a moment to take in the multilayered flavors before she chewed. It was the most delicious dish she’d ever eaten. She smiled widely and moaned as she chewed. “This is absolutely wonderful.”

  “Told you,” Chloe said, her smile widening.

  She raised her plate in both hands and held it out. “I need more, please.”

  Chloe spooned more onto her plate and took another spoonful for herself. “Are we going to need a second order?”

  “Maybe.” She scooped another bite into her mouth, closed her eyes, and moaned even louder this time.

  “People are going to think we’re doing something under the table.” Chloe laughed. The low, sexy sound washed through Shay and made her want to make it happen a thousand times more.

  “I don’t care. Let them.” Shay ate another bite. “How had I never tried this before last year?”

  “You can be pretty stubborn sometimes when you want to be.”

  Shay wobbled her head. “You might be right.” Another bite. “How did you get me to try it?”

  “A little begging along with a little wine.”

  Shay quirked up an eyebrow. “Just a little?”

  Chloe laughed. “Okay, maybe a lot.”

  Shay reached across the table and covered Chloe’s hand with hers. “This is nice.”

  “It is.” Chloe glanced around the place. “I love this restaurant.”

  “No. I mean this.” She moved her hand between the two of them. “It’s seems like forever since I’ve heard you laugh. I’d almost forgotten how much I love the sound.”

  Eye contact became sparse as Chloe twirled the stem of her wineglass between her fingers. “I was so scared, Shay. I thought I’d lost you.”

  “I know.” She squeezed her hand. “But I’m better. I’m here, and everything is going to be okay.”

  “Is it?” Chloe stared into her eyes, and Shay saw a new uncertainty in them.

  “Yes. It is. I promise.” Shay picked up the bottle of wine, poured them each a glass, and held hers up. “To us moving forward.”

  After toasting, Chloe immediately drank down all her wine and poured herself more. By the time the main course arrived, she was on her third glass and ordering another bottle.

  While Shay dug into her food and had eaten most of her carnitas, Chloe had only picked at her chicken quesadillas, eating only one and a half of the chicken and cheese-filled wedges, when she reached for the bottle of wine to fill her glass again.

  “Maybe you should slow down a little.” The words came out more like an order than a request, even though Shay hadn’t meant it that way.

  Chloe glanced up from the bottle mid-pour as she held it. “Why? We’re celebrating, right?” She set the bottle on the table, picked up her glass, and took another swig of wine.

  All her hopes for the night were slowly swirling down to the bottom of Chloe’s wineglass. They wouldn’t be intimate again tonight. “I was kind of hoping to celebrate a little differently when we got home.”

  The look Chloe gave her over her glass made her believe she was hoping to celebrate that way too, but the rate she was sucking down the wine totally contradicted that thought. It wasn’t like they’d never indulged in alcohol. In fact, on more than one occasion they’d both had a little too much to drink and had explored each other’s body thoroughly. But this wasn’t tipsy Chloe sitting across from her. She was getting drunk at light speed. The only thing running through Shay’s head now was why. Was she so upset by the whole accident that this was her way of coping with the stress, or was something else going on?

  Dinner ended abruptly when Chloe got up to go to the bathroom and stumbled head-on into one of the waiters. After helping her to the bathroom, Shay fished out Chloe’s credit card from her bag and gave it to Kim to settle the bill. She also used Chloe’s phone to call an Uber. She hadn’t expected to see a notification for a gazillion text messages from someone named Erica, all simply saying, Call me. She faintly remembered a customer of Chloe’s by that name, but why would she be texting her nonstop like this? Had she commissioned a painting? Did she have a deadline? Chloe hadn’t confided any information about her recent business at the gallery, which was something she would have to remedy.

  She loaded Chloe into the Uber and told Kim that one of them would be back to get their car in the morning. Her mind was still clear, but she wasn’t supposed to be released to drive for at least another week or two. Chloe had left the sober realm two glasses ago and was in no shape to drive. As it was, she was having trouble standing.

  Chloe passed out in the car on the twenty-minute ride, and once they got home Shay took her straight to the bedroom, helped her undress, and only let her go to the bathroom alone because she insisted. She pulled the covers back on the bed and waited for her to come out and lie down. Being pulled into bed along with Chloe and the long, slow, erotic kiss that came next was a surprise. Chloe had barely touched her since they’d been home, and with one kiss all her nerve endings had been awakened. She finally broke away to gauge Chloe’s awareness, remaining on top of her as Chloe stared up at her all glassy-eyed. One thing was certain tonight. She refused to make love to Chloe when she was this drunk.

  When Chloe’s hands went to her face and cupped it between them, she hadn’t expected to see the tears that came next. “I still love you. You know. I shouldn’t, but I do.” She kissed her on the lips tenderly and then passed out.

  “What?” She shook Chloe’s shoulders. “Why shouldn’t you?” She shook her again, but Chloe had passed out. “Why shouldn’t you love me?” Her voice withered, and the question spun in her head as she laid her head on Chloe’s chest and listened to the slow thump of her heartbeat—a heart that used to beat only for her. What had happened over the past year to change that fact?

  * * *

  Chloe’s head was throbbing, and her mouth felt like someone had stuffed a bag of cotton in it. She opened one eye and then the other. Shay was snuggled in under her arm with her head on her chest asleep. Their legs were tangled together like they’d done more than just sleep last night, but they were both wearing T-shirts and panties. She reached under the blanket and checked. Yes, her panties were still intact. She had no idea how she was going to escape the awkwardness of this situation.

  Shay shifted and snuggled closer, wrapping her arm around her waist. She pushed the usual thoughts from her mind and just let herself indulge in Shay’s warmth and the strength in her arms as she held her. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d been wrapped together like this with or without having sex. She’d missed the connection between them, and God help her, she wanted it back. She’d slept like she hadn’t in a very long time.

  She’d tried her hardest to resist her last night, and getting drunk had seemed to be the only way to avoid the intimacy she knew would follow when they got home. When the gorgeous smile came across Shay’s face as she ate the ceviche, she’d felt it deep in her belly. More wine was her only option after that. It was the one thing that had kept her from taking Shay to bed last night.

  When they’d arrived home from the restaurant, they’d gone into the bedroom and changed. Shay had asked her to stay with her, and she had. She’d been a little tipsy as well and had indicated more than once during the span of the evening that she’d like to continue the celebration after they got home. Chloe had made sure she was in no shape for anyth
ing like that, but she guessed Shay had fallen asleep in her arms.

  What was she going to do about this? There was no in-between here. She could straddle the line for only so long. Shay would expect more soon, and Chloe wouldn’t be able to make excuses forever. Was she going to be all in or out? She’d been the first to let go, to unravel everything in her life that had been so perfectly knitted together. The relationship had been meticulously, affectionately sewn together. It might literally destroy her to do it all again.

  She carefully extracted herself from under Shay and went into the bathroom. The words written in bright-red lipstick in front of her on the mirror shocked her.

  You love her, stupid! Forget about everything else.

  Drunk Chloe had left advice for sober Chloe once again.

  She spun a wad of toilet paper from the holder and tried to wipe the message away, but all it did was smear the lipstick. Fuck! She sprayed it with hairspray, but that made it worse. She looked under the sink for some alcohol, found a bottle, and doused a new wad of toilet paper with it, managing to clear most of the message. She didn’t know what she’d have done if Shay had seen it.

  “Come back to bed.” Shay’s voice echoed into the bathroom.

  She rummaged through the medicine cabinet. “Trying to find some ibuprofen.”

  She heard the bottle rattle and peeked into the bedroom.

  “I’ve been keeping it here, since I seem to live on it now.” Shay sat up, opened the bottle, and held out a couple of capsules for her.

  She brought a glass of water from the bathroom, scooped them out of Shay’s hand, and dropped them into her mouth. “I guess I had a little too much wine last night.”

  “Little bit.” Shay smiled and reached for her hand, tugging her onto the bed next to her. “Come back to bed and cuddle some more.” Chloe didn’t have the energy to do anything else, so she crawled back into bed. Shay immediately spooned her and kissed the back of her head. “I’ll fix breakfast later.” She wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

  The small voice in Chloe’s head was screaming now, but she chose to ignore it. She was too tired to deal with herself right now. They had dinner plans with Jackson and Whitney before the gallery event tonight, and she was already dreading what new obstacles the night would present. She willed herself to sleep before reality could hit her again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The restaurant was fancier than Shay had expected. Thankfully, she’d spent the better part of an hour choosing just the right outfit. After several botched attempts, she’d decided on a black slip dress and wedge heels. The dress fit her looser than she remembered, but when she looked in the mirror, she was happy with the way it hugged her curves. Chloe had dressed in half the time. She’d gone with her first choice of a light-gray shift dress with long puffed sleeves and a scoop neckline. She’d worn black-suede ankle-strap heels and had accessorized the dress with a black-beaded and fringed, drop-pendant necklace. With her long black hair pulled to one side and draped across her shoulder, she was stunning.

  The dress might have been loose-fitting, but Shay knew exactly what was underneath. She remembered that for sure. When Chloe had walked out of the bathroom, Shay had been captivated by her beauty as usual, and she’d told her so. Chloe’s cheeks had reddened immediately, and her eyes had become dark as Shay gazed at her. She would’ve liked to take more time exploring that look, but they’d been behind schedule because they’d had to call an Uber and pick Chloe’s car up where they’d left it at the restaurant the night before.

  As they were led to their table, Shay glanced around at the art on the walls. She tingled with excitement when she spotted one of Chloe’s pieces hanging above the booth. “This is you?” She pointed to the painting.

  “Yes.” Chloe smiled softly. “They’ve been good to me here.” She glanced around. “They’ve been letting me hang my art for a while. It’s really helped get my name out there.”

  “So, we’ve been here before?” She glanced around but didn’t recognize the place at all.

  “You more than I.” Chloe chuckled lightly. “If it hadn’t been for your perseverance, my art wouldn’t be hanging here at all.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. After Rob remodeled the place, you were relentless, calling him every day and even offering to pay him to hang it. I’m trying to think how he put it. Something like, you pushed him into taking the worst business risk that turned out to be the best marketing decision of his life.” She smiled softly. “Apparently people come in just to see my paintings now.”

  “Wow. I always knew you’d be famous.” And she did. Chloe put so much of her heart into her work. It just needed some exposure.

  “Thanks to you, I am.” Chloe’s smile faded as she stared at her finger tracing the pattern of the tablecloth.

  She reached over and took her hand. “That’s a good thing, right?”

  Chloe took a deep breath. “All our financial worries are gone now.”

  “That’s a good thing, right?” she repeated, insisting on eye contact.

  “Yes. Yes, it is.” Chloe’s smile returned, and she picked up the menu. “So, what are you in the mood for?”

  The personal discussion had turned awkward and then faded quickly into the general topic of food and hunger, which had Shay wondering again what had changed in their relationship over the past year to make Chloe so distant.

  The evening had been going well, the food was good, but Jackson and Whitney had been running late, so they’d missed dinner. Shay had been completely relaxed until they’d arrived at the gallery. Coming to the opening was a bad idea. The moment she stepped in the door, all eyes were immediately on her, but no one spoke. It was as though they were all afraid to talk to her, like she was too emotionally fragile to engage. The world around her had changed rapidly, and she didn’t know why and couldn’t do a thing to make it stop. Shay recognized a few people but also encountered many whom she apparently had met throughout the past year but didn’t remember. Within an hour everyone seemed to relax, and she was overwhelmed by conversations about memories she didn’t have. They were simple memories of events that should be easy to picture, but they still escaped her. It was frustrating to listen to people reminisce and laugh and not be able to join in the fun.

  Shay moved to a quiet corner in the back of the gallery and pressed her fingers to her forehead as the pain in her head spiked. It invaded her thoughts, threatening to culminate in the usual splitting migraine. When she’d felt the signs, she’d taken her medication immediately, but it hadn’t seemed to touch the incessant pounding in her head. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall as she took in the various conversations in the room.

  “You’re hiding out in my spot.” The voice in her ear was familiar, but she didn’t recognize it right away.

  She opened her eyes and sprang away from the wall. “Whitney.” She instinctively pulled her into a hug.

  “Hooray. Someone actually knows who I am.” Whitney’s animated smile warmed her heart.

  “I understand. I always wonder how I can be surrounded by so many people and still feel so alone.”

  “Are you all right?” Whitney asked.

  “My head’s starting to hurt. I shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine.” She searched for Chloe in the crowd. “I need to go home, but it’s Chloe’s night, and I don’t want to make her leave.”

  “I can take you.”

  “Could you? Really?”

  “Of course. I haven’t seen you in forever. It’ll give us a chance to chat.” Whitney seemed sincere. Her eyes were kind, not filled with the pity she’d been getting from others. “Just let me tell Jackson and grab Chloe, so she knows.”

  Shay watched her weave through the crowd as she crossed the room. Jackson fished his car keys out of his pocket and handed them to her. When she found Chloe, she peered over Whitney’s shoulder at her as Whitney whispered in her ear. Chloe smiled at the person she’d been talking to and immediate
ly came Shay’s way. She really hadn’t wanted to interrupt her.

  “Are you okay?” Chloe asked, her eyes wide and soft.

  God, she loved those beautiful ocean-blue eyes. She wanted so badly to ask her to take her home, but she refused to ruin her night. “I’m okay. Just had a little too much wine.”

  “I’ll take you home.” She set her glass on a tray propped up in the corner.

  “No. Definitely not. These people are here for you. You need to stay.”

  “I’ve got this,” Whitney said. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re leaving.”

  Chloe’s gaze went from Shay to Whitney and back again. “Are you sure?”

  Shay nodded. “Yes. Please stay and enjoy all this.” She took Chloe into her arms and hugged her. The warmth was so soothing that she held her for a few moments longer before she reluctantly let go. “I want you to stay.” She kissed her lightly on the cheek.

  “Don’t worry. She’ll be safe with me.” Whitney put her arm around Shay and ushered her toward the door.

  Shay glanced over her shoulder to see Chloe still watching them. She waved and said, “I’m fine.”

  Chloe smiled softly. “Okay. I won’t be late.”

  She left the party with Chloe’s perfume on her clothes and in her head. The bouquet of orange and spice was almost suffocating. She never should’ve hugged her. The mere scent of Chloe could turn her on completely.

  The lights on the black Audi A5 in front of her blinked on and off, and a memory of her and Chloe snuggled closely in the back seat together flashed through her mind.

  “Here we are,” Whitney said.

  “We’ve been out in this car before. The four of us. You, me, Chloe, and Jackson.”

  Whitney smiled. “Yes, we have. Many times.” She opened the door for her.

  Shay hesitated before getting in. “When was the last time?”

  “Sometime last year.” Whitney twisted her lips slightly.

  “Another event like this?” Shay slid into the seat.