Just One Moment

by Dena Blake

  “Um, you’re already inserted into her life—and, from my perspective, falling in love with you would be easy, make her remember who you really are.”

  Thoughts flooded her mind and went to the worst possible place. “I can’t even imagine how she felt. What if one day you woke up and found yourself sleeping next to someone you’d fallen out of love with? Someone who’d trusted you with their very soul? Someone who’d never expected you to feel this way? Someone who believed you when you said you’d love them for the rest of your days, even if it had nothing to do with another person? What if it’s just you? You’ve changed, they’ve changed, life has changed? Do you tell them, or do you go on living a lie for their sake? What if the opposite happened? What if they fall out of love with you? Would you want another chance? Would you expect it? Would you want them to go on living the lie when deep down in their soul they want to be with someone else?”

  “Wow. That’s a lot of what-ifs. You need to stop thinking so much.” Rachel held her by the shoulders. “You don’t know any of that to be true, right?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “So, take what you do know and use it to win her back. Live for the little victories, remember. Anything to get you back to where you were.”

  “What about the woman I had the affair with?” She rubbed her face with her hands. “Jesus. Where the hell is she now?” She knew where she was because she’d sent her away. It seemed she’d regretted everything she’d done.

  “It must not have been very serious. It looks like whatever happened between you is over for both of you.”

  “Maybe.” She certainly hoped so. She knew it was probably Lila, but she didn’t intend to tell anyone.

  “If it doesn’t work out, you always have me.” Rachel pulled her lip up to one side and winked, then ducked as the pillow Shay threw at her sailed by her head.

  “There’s that.” She picked up the pile of journals and placed them back on the closet shelf. Taking them to the beach house would be a mistake, a distraction she couldn’t deal with right now. She had to focus on getting her life back.

  * * *

  When Shay’s phone rang on the ride back to the house, the last voice she expected to hear when she answered was her mother’s. She hadn’t talked to her since she’d been released from the hospital, and before that, contact had been minimal. It wasn’t a secret that their relationship was strained. Shay would never be the daughter her mother wanted, and Mary would never be the mother Shay needed.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello, Shay. This is your mother.”

  “I know who it is. What do you need?”

  “I wanted to make sure you’re all right. I hadn’t heard from you.”

  “I’m just awesome, Mom. I’ve got a big metal rod in my leg and just found out I was screwing around on my wife before the accident.”

  “I see.” Her mother was silent, which was rare.

  “Did you hear what I said, Mom? I cheated on Chloe.” She spoke resolutely as another piece of the puzzle snapped together in her mind. Her mother was aware of what had happened. Ironically, she would’ve been the first to tell her if Chloe had been the one cheating. She would’ve used anything to break up her marriage and steer her back to the opposite sex.

  “You had every reason to. Chloe was off doing her art. She wasn’t giving you the attention you deserve.”

  She cringed. Had she confided in her mother, or had she just found out somehow? “That’s no excuse, Mother.” Yet those were the exact reasons she’d used to justify her own behavior in the journal. When had she become so much like her?

  “I’m just trying to make you feel better. You’re more like your father than you know,” her mother said. Not the subtlest way of telling her about her father’s indiscretions.

  “Nothing can make me feel better about this whole fucking mess.” The throb in her head began to pulse, and she rubbed the back of her neck. “If there was one thing in my whole life you could’ve done for me, you should’ve told me this.”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you,” her mother said.

  “We both know that’s not true. You didn’t want me to be with Chloe. You hoped I’d forget everything we had together.” All the arguments they’d had about her sexuality filled her mind, and her head hurt more. “I have to go.” She didn’t give her mother a chance to respond again before she pulled the phone from her ear and ended the call.

  “Are you okay?”

  She chuckled. “Yeah. I’m fine.” She glanced at Rachel while she drove. “How are you liking the glimpse you’re getting into my fucked-up life? I bet you’re glad I’m married now.”

  Rachel reached across the console and took her hand, the gesture soothing her. “We all have our demons. Some of us have valid reasons for them.”

  Rachel seemed to understand even if Shay didn’t understand it all herself.

  After Rachel dropped Shay off at home, she was surprised and somewhat relieved that Chloe had beat her there. Not wanting to wake her, she didn’t bother to change clothes, just went to the couch and again read the words in the journal she’d written. The hurt deepened within her each time. Even after Shay read them repeatedly, she couldn’t believe they were true.

  An auburn-haired woman with green eyes flashed in her mind, and her stomach clenched. It wasn’t enough that she’d been careless about phone calls and texts, but for her to actually leave Chloe waiting in the car while she was fucking her upstairs in her office was unconscionable. Was she seeking a rush? Had Lila manipulated her? Or was she just plain cruel? Outrageously, fucking cruel. She couldn’t imagine how Chloe felt when she’d walked into her office and discovered them, found out her wife was betraying her. Yes, she could. She would’ve been devastated. If the situation had been reversed, she would’ve been crushed beyond measure. She had no idea if she’d ever be able to forgive herself for the pain she’d put Chloe through.

  Shay was the one who had broken the relationship between the two of them. Whatever reasons she’d had, they weren’t valid enough to justify hurting Chloe the way she had. There would never be anything that could justify that. How could she not forgive Chloe for anything that happened after that? She now knew the reasons for Chloe’s distance and what they’d been through together. It was only natural that Chloe needed space. She was amazed that Chloe hadn’t already told her, left her alone to heal after the accident. She was still trying to protect her even after her betrayal.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chloe had no idea why Shay’s usual navy-blue pants and button-down shirt wouldn’t do tonight for the gallery event. Shay had tried on more dresses than Chloe ever had before when preparing for one. She wasn’t even sure why Shay was going. She’d had her regularly scheduled physical-therapy session today and had seemed pretty worn out after it. She’d told Shay it was fine if she wanted to stay home and rest, but she’d insisted.

  “So that’s the dress you’ve settled on?” She watched Shay from the doorway as she assessed herself in the mirror.

  “I think so. Do I look okay?” When Shay spun around, and Chloe caught the full picture of her in the black fringe dress, her stomach took an unexpected dip. She was stunning. Shay wasn’t full figured like herself, but the dress fit her snugly and accentuated her subtle curves in all the right places. The fringe started right where Chloe should be keeping her mind away from, and the neckline dipped just low enough to let her cleavage peek out. The silver, strappy heels set off the outfit perfectly.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” Apparently, Shay had caught her reaction. She smiled and went to the dresser. “Can I borrow your pearls?” She opened the jewelry box and plucked something out. “Why is this in here and not on your finger?” She held up Chloe’s wedding ring.

  Chloe stumbled for an answer that would make sense. “It was loose, and I don’t want to lose it.”

  Shay took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. “Fits just fine now.”

  Chloe fiddled with
the band. “Seems to, doesn’t it?” She took in a breath and smiled.

  “Is mine in here too?” Shay rummaged through the rest of the jewelry.

  “Um…yes. They took it off when you were in the hospital.” She lied. She’d put it in the jewelry box after she’d found it on the entryway table the day Shay had come to the beach house. The day of the accident. Something inside her hadn’t been ready to let go of it then.

  Shay fished hers out, handed it to Chloe, and wiggled her finger, clearly expecting her to place it on her ring finger just as she had hers. “Just like our wedding day.” The smile on Shay’s face was beautiful. “Back to normal.”

  “Back to normal.” She smiled at her, but they were still far from back to normal. She took the pearls from the jewelry box, unhooked the clasp, and put them around Shay’s neck. “Perfect.”

  Shay moved closer, wrapped her arms around her waist, and kissed her. The gesture wasn’t unexpected. She’d felt the electricity between them the moment she’d brushed her fingers across the smooth spot between Shay’s shoulder and neck, the spot she loved to taste. She didn’t back away. She took Shay’s face in her hands and fell into it, let it happen just as she had before. It was a soft, searching kiss, one that reached in, touched her soul, and left her wanting more, something deeper. Her stomach tightened, and her heart actually felt as though it was struggling to beat. She felt Shay’s hands on her back, then on her breasts, and she dragged her lips away, tried to catch her breath.

  A soft whimper came out of Shay’s mouth, and she whispered, “You’re so beautiful.” Shay looked at her with such love and desire, she immediately kissed her again and found herself being pushed onto the bed, Shay pinning her to it, her hands moving down her body, across her waist, up her thighs, between her legs. She gasped at the touch, and the little voice in her head screamed. She shoved Shay to the side, got up, and tried to clear her mental fog. She could see Shay was confused, and rightly so. Desire bubbled inside her, but she couldn’t do anything to relieve it. She wouldn’t, not until she’d straightened out her emotions.

  “I need to be there on time.” You can do this, Chloe. Without looking back, she stepped through the doorway, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and plastered on a smile. Life would go on.

  * * *

  The evening had started awkwardly and remained that way since they’d arrived. Chloe couldn’t bring herself to look at Shay for more than a moment, afraid she might feel confused again. They hadn’t spoken in the car on the way nor since they’d arrived. In fact, a bystander would think they didn’t even know each other.

  She stopped mid-sentence when she heard the door chime and glanced over to see Erica enter, a tall blonde trailing closely behind her. Fuck! She’d known Erica would resort to some sort of retaliation. She’d just hoped Shay wouldn’t be present when it happened. It was the first event of the month, and the gallery was full of customers. Avoiding eye contact, she focused her attention across the room on Shay, who seemed to have noticed Erica’s entrance as well, with a flash of irritation. Had the encounter with Erica a few days before at the gallery sparked any of her memories? When she’d arrived home that night, Shay hadn’t come to bed. She’d slept on the couch. She’d also been somewhat antisocial the next day, quiet to the point of almost ignoring her, which had been unusual for her since she’d come home. She’d said she’d gotten in late and hadn’t wanted to wake her, and Chloe hadn’t pressed her. If some memories had floated to the surface, Shay was keeping them to herself.

  “Chloe, darling.” Erica’s voice echoed loudly. She wouldn’t be able to avoid her tonight. Erica swept her into her arms, hugged her more tightly than usual, and said, “I’ve missed you.”

  The motion had come so quickly, Chloe hadn’t had a chance to dodge her. She glanced at Shay again, who was now heading her way with determination in her step. The irritation in her eyes seemed to have vanished, but she wasn’t smiling.

  “It’s good to see you again,” she said and smiled at Erica and the tall blonde with dazzling blue eyes and a knockout body. Erica’s weapon of choice didn’t faze Chloe in the slightest. She had never completely formed an emotional attachment to Erica, so jealousy would never be a factor in their relationship—or whatever it was they had.

  “Forgive me. Where are my manners?” Erica turned to the blonde. “This is Barbara.”

  “Most people call me Barb.” She reached out to shake Chloe’s hand.

  Of course they do. “It’s nice to meet you, Barb.” The stereotypical name fit her features well. She felt Shay’s arm slip around her waist and immediately did the same after she shook Barb’s hand. “You remember my wife, Shay,” Chloe said.

  Erica’s attention zoomed to Shay. The closeness between them didn’t seem to have escaped her. “Hello again. You seem to be doing well,” Erica said.

  “I am, thanks,” Shay said as she pulled Chloe closer while simultaneously offering Erica her hand.

  Erica took her hand, held it for a moment. “Well, I have a feeling we’re going to be good friends.”

  Chloe narrowed her eyes when Erica glanced her way. She was straddling a thin line, and if she dared to cross it, the fragile existence Chloe was living would come crashing down around her.

  “Come on, love. Let’s get some champagne.” Erica moved Barb in front of her and sauntered to the makeshift bar in the corner of the gallery.

  Relieved that she’d escaped the encounter with no visible injuries, Chloe released the breath she’d been holding. Ditching her the other night had been immature, and she hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts since. Arriving with a knockout blonde on her arm tonight was a clear sign that Erica was angry about the situation, but that was out of her control. She had to focus on Shay’s recovery whether she wanted to or not. She had an obligation to fulfill no matter what the circumstances had been between them before the accident and hoped Shay would do the same if the situation had been reversed.

  The warmth of Shay’s arm was still around her waist as she turned toward her. “I’m sorry.”

  A tingle shot through her when Shay reached up, moved a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and let her fingers drift down to the hollow of her neck. The feeling had been something she’d grown to love but had lost over the past year. “I know,” she whispered and kissed her gently. Something in her eyes told Chloe she understood the turmoil in her heart. Had she remembered something?

  Shay took her by the hand. “I could use a glass of wine. How about you?”

  Relief washed through her. All seemed to be normal again, for a moment. “Wine would be good.”

  * * *

  The evening was progressing nicely. Chloe had sold several pieces of art, and Shay seemed to be having a good time mingling with people as well. Close to an hour had passed when Chloe caught Erica in her peripheral vision. Barb was being entertained by another artist, and Erica was leaning against the bar staring at something. She followed her gaze and spotted Shay, who seemed to be having an in-depth conversation with yet another artist. She focused on Erica again and wasn’t sure what she saw in her expression, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant. Erica narrowed her eyes, took the last swallow of her drink, set it on the bar, and pushed away. She was heading across the room to Shay.

  No, no, no. Chloe’s vision tunneled, and all she heard was the rapid beat of her heart in her ears as she bolted across the room, took Erica by the arm, and led her to the back door and then outside, letting the metal door clang shut behind them.

  Erica yanked her arm free. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Bigger question. What the hell are you doing?” She glanced over at the door to make sure it was still closed.

  “I was just going to have a friendly chat with Shay,” Erica said.

  “I didn’t see anything friendly about the way you were looking at her.” She’d seen that expression before, more than once. It was pure jealousy.

  “This isn’t working for me,” Erica said matter-
of-factly as she smoothed her hands down the front of her blouse and then clasped them in front of her. “You’re going to have to tell her about us.”

  “She’s not ready for that.”

  “She’s not ready? Or you’re not ready?”

  “I told you the doctor said she needs to remember on her own, or her memory may be permanently damaged and never come back.”

  “Her memory is already damaged. Why would it hurt to speed it up?” Her finger stung as Erica took it between her fingers and tugged at her wedding ring. “Why are you wearing this?”

  “Shay found it in my jewelry box. I couldn’t very well refuse to put it on.” She could’ve, but the look in Shay’s eyes at that moment had made her not want to refuse her anything.

  “I think it’s time she and I have a talk.” Erica spun around and headed for the door.

  Did she think this was some sort of game? This was Shay’s memory they were talking about—and Chloe’s life. Did she even care? “Erica, stop. Please. For me?”

  Erica was almost to the door when she stopped and turned around. She came at Chloe so quickly, she thought she was going to strike her. Instead, she took her face into her hands and kissed her with a force she’d never felt from Erica before. Chloe swayed into her. All the right areas came to life in an instant. She couldn’t deny that Erica could make her body react, but there were places in her heart Erica would never be able to touch. Shay had already claimed them long ago.

  She heard the door open and close through the fog clouding her head. Shay. Panic shot through her. She broke the kiss, glanced at the door, and was relieved to see Jackson leaning against it. He’d been the one she was in mid-sentence with when she’d bolted across the room to intercept Erica.

  He gazed at the stars for a moment and then at them, with no judgment in his eyes. “It’s a beautiful night. Erica, I think your date is looking for you.” He’d come to rescue her. The man was a godsend.