Aggie

by Peggy McKenzie

  She felt Hiram’s lips tenderly touch the top of her head with a kiss and pull her closer to him sheltering her in his arm.

  “Yes, I am happy, Hiram. Very happy. I’ve accepted all that has happened and as saddened as I am at all I have lost, I’m equally happy at everything I’ve gained. Thanks to you.”

  As she spoke, she caressed his chest lightly with her fingertips. She relished the feel and snuggled deeper into his protective embrace pressing her large round stomach against him.

  Soon, she felt Hiram drift off to sleep while she lay beside him, wrapped in his loving arms. Contentment washed over her. After all she had been through, and after all she had lost, she was getting another chance at happiness. And she was going to take it,

  Aggie opened her eyes and glanced around the room. Late afternoon shadows had dimmed the sun’s rays, and as she lay in Hiram’s arms, she listened to his light snores. She realized that she too had drifted off to sleep and now she was trying to determine what had pulled her from her sleep. Nothing seemed amiss, so she closed her eyes and snuggled against her husband’s body.

  Suddenly, a fierce stab of pain punched her in her belly—a pain so sharp it stole her breath away. She grabbed her stomach with one hand and examined herself with the other. As the pain subsided momentarily, she realized her hand felt sticky and wet. Fear slithered up her spine and tightened her chest. Slowly she raised her hand, nearly screaming at the sight. It was covered in blood.

  “Hiram! Wake up. Hiram! Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong.”

  Her husband woke immediately and seeing blood on her hand, he violently yanked back the bedcovers to reveal a horrific sight. Her bedclothes and linens were drenched in blood.

  She saw the fear in her husband’s eyes and panic rushed in to take control.

  “Don’t move, Aggie. I’ll get Mother and send for the doctor. Please, don’t…move. Not an inch,” her husband begged.

  She nodded, though she had no intention of moving. Fear had frozen her in place. Another gut-wrenching pain ripped through her stomach and she cried out. “Hiram! Oh, Hiram. Please. Please make it stop,” she begged even though she knew there was nothing he could do. This was what they had feared could happen, and it was out of their control.

  “I will get help, Aggie. I promise. Just please, please, don’t move.” Hiram rushed out the door to summon help.

  Aggie couldn’t believe this was happening. After all the care they had taken to prevent it. What had she done wrong?

  She lay still, not moving even a finger, trying not to notice her blood seeping into the sheets. She sobbed quietly. It was the only sound in the room, which seemed deathly still after the chaos of moments ago. Just as she began to feel the fear and silence overtake her, Gertrude and Gladys rushed into the room. Panic bright in their eyes.

  “Oh, Aggie. I’m here. I’m here. Hiram has sent for Dr. Davenport. He’ll be here soon. So don’t worry, my dear.” Always needing to be in motion when emotions ran high, Gertrude began fussing with Aggie’s bedcovers. “Oh, my.” The words escaped her lips before she could stop them. “Um, just stay calm. All will be well.”

  Her mother-in-law may outwardly be promoting a state of calm in the room, but inwardly she was obviously battling to keep her own panic at bay.

  “Gladys, run to the kitchen and get some hot water and tear up some clean linens to use for rags. And send Bennie for Father Bentoni. We need all the prayers we can get today.”

  Gladys disappeared and Gertrude grabbed a drying towel and pressed it against Aggie’s body to try and stem the flow of blood. The color in her face had leached to a paler shade of white, and Aggie knew the usually unflappable woman was as frightened as she was.

  Within minutes, Hiram rushed back into the room and sat beside her pulling her hand into his. “Hang on, my sweet. The doctor will be here soon, and everything will be—fine. Just—fine.” Hiram’s voice cracked with emotion and Aggie’s fear inched up another notch as another pain racked her body again. Her instincts told her things were not going to be fine. They were not going to be fine at all.

  Twenty minutes later, just as Aggie’s pains were beginning to occur much more frequently, Dr. Davenport rushed into the room, concern etched on his face, huffing for air. “Everyone out of the room. And send Gladys up with hot water and lots of clean rags. She knows what to do.”

  Gertrude nodded. “I’ve already sent Gladys to get everything. I’ll go see what’s keeping her.” Gertrude turned to look at Aggie. “Stay strong, my dear, sweet daughter. Everything will be just—fine.” She turned away and left the room quickly trying to hide how upset she was. But Aggie saw the worry and fear in Hiram’s mother’s eyes.

  After Gertrude left, Aggie concentrated on the doctor’s face as he took a quick peek under her bedsheets, and from his expression things were even worse than she imagined. But Aggie fought to keep her calm, knowing her child’s very life could depend on it.

  Dr. Davenport set his medical bag down, threw off his jacket, and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “Mr. Hanover, you need to leave now. You will just be in the way.”

  “I’m not leaving my wife, doctor. So don’t waste your time trying to convince me. There is nothing you can say that will make me leave her. Now, I suggest you get busy and fix this.” Sending a pointed look at the doctor to underscore his words.

  Aggie knew there wasn’t time to argue as she felt another pain coming on, so she quickly made demands of her own. “I want my husband to stay by my side, doctor. Please,” Aggie begged, as she held onto her belly while the pain took hold. “I can’t go through this without Hiram by my side.”

  “Very well, but no matter what happens, Mr. Hanover, you must not interfere. Do we understand each other?” The doctor was equally as stern as Hiram had been.

  “Yes, sir. I will not put my wife or child in danger.” Hiram squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, tears streaming down the sides of her face.

  “Now, let’s have a look.” Dr. Davenport pulled her linens back more fully and paled. Aggie squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sight, as a sudden feeling of foreboding surrounded her. She knew this would be a day she would remember in agonizing detail for the rest of her days. And she suddenly feared how it would end.

  “Aggie, my sweet. Stay strong. Everything will be okay. I refuse to allow any other outcome,” Hiram whispered and kissed the palm of her hand.

  Aggie met his pained and worried gaze and drew strength in his convictions. From his mouth to God’s ear…but she feared, for whatever reason, God had other plans.

  That’s when Aggie noticed she was shaking. And not in the normal way you do when you’re chilled. She was trembling from head to toe in uncontrollable shivers. The only time it stopped was when she had to take in a deep breath during one of her birthing pains.

  Aggie looked at the doctor, but before she could inquire, he explained, “Mrs. Hanover. You are in labor. The baby is coming, but not quickly enough, so we must help it along. The reason for your shaking is that you, and possibly the baby, are losing too much blood. We must intervene before it’s too late. Do you understand?” The doctor’s troubled gaze fixed upon her as he awaited her reply.

  She nodded her understanding because she could not form the words to speak.

  “I’m going to administer chloroform to put you to sleep. At first, you will feel a bit lightheaded. Then you will go into a very deep sleep. When I am sure you are unconscious, then I will make an incision. Once the incision is made, and the baby is removed, I will hand the baby off to Gladys. She knows what to do. Then I will stitch the incision up. Do you understand?” the doctor asked again.

  This time Aggie answered between chattering teeth, “Yes, doctor. I understand.”

  “Very well, where is Gladys with those rags and hot water?” the doctor demanded.

  “Here I am, Dr. Davenport,” Gladys answered as she entered the room with her supplies. “I have several buckets of hot water and a pile of clean rag
s.”

  A procession of female house staff followed her into the room and placed bucket after bucket on the floor next to the table. Gladys shooed them from the room, closing the door firmly behind them. “I’m ready when you are doctor,” Gladys nodded to Aggie. She was a pillar of calm and Aggie took courage from the woman’s confidence.

  “Let’s get started,” the doctor announced. He instructed Gladys to wash his hands and arms thoroughly and dry them with a clean rag. He then put on an apron and Gladys scrubbed it down with soap and water.

  When all the instruments were laid upon a long length of white toweling, the doctor turned to her. “Are you ready, Mrs. Hanover?”

  Aggie nodded. “Yes, I’m…ready.” She turned toward her husband and he leaned down and kissed her. “I’m here, Aggie. Don’t be afraid. I’m right here beside you.”

  She nodded and offered him a weak tear-filled smile.

  The doctor poured a clear liquid with a pleasant odor from a bottle onto a clean cloth. He placed the cloth against her nose and mouth and just for a minute, Aggie panicked and tried to push it off.

  “It’s alright, my darling. I’m here.” She felt Hiram squeeze her hand, and she relaxed, trusting in her husband’s strength.

  “Breath deep, Mrs. Hanover. Take slow, deep breaths,” the doctor advised.

  Aggie turned to take one more look into her husband’s eyes. If she died today, she wanted to remember his kindness and generosity for all eternity. But most of all, she wanted to remember his beautiful blue eyes where his love for her always glowed so bright. Aggie felt her body relax and soon she drifted off to a deep sleep where the unknown awaited.

  Hiram clutched Aggie’s hand as much for himself as for her. He could tell by the look on the doctor’s face that this was not the way they had so wanted this pregnancy to end.

  “Mr. Hanover, it appears we are faced with the worst possible situation. There is an enormous amount of blood loss. Do you understand the seriousness of our situation?” Dr. Davenport asked as he prepared Aggie for surgery.

  “Yes, doctor. I understand. Though we did everything we possibly could to stave off this situation, taking every precaution, doing everything you advised, it wasn’t enough. She had been doing so well, then suddenly this afternoon she took a turn. Right out of the blue. No warning. She woke up with pain and blood.”

  “Childbirth is unpredictable at times. Some women do just fine. Others have complications. What we need to do now is try to save your wife and your child. Are you prepared for what I must do next?” The doctor reached for a scalpel and Hiram’s heart stumbled over itself in anticipation of what was to come. This was a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

  “Mr. Hanover, this will not be a pleasant sight for you. Are you sure you don’t want to wait downstairs?” Dr. Davenport asked again.

  But Hiram knew no matter what the outcome, no matter how his stomach churned with fear, he could not—he would not—leave his wife’s side. “No, doctor. I’m where I need to be. And I’m as prepared for this as I shall ever be. Now, please hurry.”

  “Very well. Gladys, we shall begin.” The doctor poured a whiteish gray powder into a basin of hot water and dipped his hands in. After he washed them thoroughly, he dipped a clean sponge into a jar marked Iodine and covered Aggie’s belly. “As I explained earlier, this is to stave off as much infection as we can. It helps, but there simply are no guarantees that we can avoid all infection.”

  Hiram had seen his share of war wounds at the Army hospital across town. He knew what could happen if an infection got out of hand. He refused to let his mind go there. He nodded his understanding of the doctor’s explanation, but he kept his eyes on his wife’s pale, still face.

  “Gladys, I need a steady supply of clean, dry rags. When I make the incision, things can go wrong in a hurry, and we must be ready for anything.”

  “Yes, doctor.” Hiram watched as she made neat stacks of the cloths in front of her. He had always known Gladys was a woman who had seen much in her life, but her stoic demeanor and unflappable attitude in the face of this frightening and dire situation convinced him of that all the more.

  Gladys inhaled a deep breath and sent him a look of encouragement. Hiram wanted to believe in her confidence. He wanted to believe that this day would end just as he and Aggie had dreamed—with a beautiful baby wrapped in Aggie’s arms while he looked on with pride.

  He squeezed Aggie’s hand even though he knew she couldn’t feel it. And then he waited for Dr. Davenport to perform a miracle.

  Dr. Davenport propped up Aggie’s legs and draped a large sheet over them forming a tent of sorts. Hiram was a bit relieved because he truly had no idea how he would react to seeing Aggie’s belly cut open. Just the thought of it made him want to reject his lunch.

  The doctor leaned under the tent canopy and Hiram sensed it had begun. He forced himself to breathe. The last thing he wanted to do was pass out.

  Soon, Gladys was by the doctor’s side handing him clean white rags one after the other only to retrieve them from the doctor’s hand soaked in blood. Aggie’s blood. Breathe, Hiram. Just keep breathing.

  Within minutes, the doctor leaned back and exclaimed, “He’s here. You have a son, Hiram.”

  Hiram watched in morbid fascination as a tiny baby appeared over the linen tent. The doctor wiped off the baby’s mouth and nose, clamped off the baby’s umbilical cord, then cut it.

  He quickly handed the baby off to Gladys who took it and vigorously rubbed the baby with a clean rag clearing the blood and mucous from its face until it uttered a weak whimper.

  “Oh, thank God.” It was all he could manage to say before tears of relief overcame him. He knew Aggie couldn’t hear him, but he wanted her to know their baby was alive. “Aggie, darling. He’s here. Our boy is here,” he whispered with tears of joy clouding his vision.

  The doctor was busy behind the sheet when he stammered “What the hell? Gladys, hand that baby to his father. There seems to be another one.”

  Gladys turned a shocked look to Hiram and rushed around the bed to hand him his son. “Just keep rubbing him vigorously with the towel. We need to keep him breathing.”

  Then she rushed back around to prepare for a second baby. He and Aggie were having twins. How had they not known?

  Hiram looked down at the tiny baby in his arms. He set the baby down next to Aggie’s head and kept rubbing him as Gladys had instructed. “Aggie, darling. We have a son. We have a beautiful son,” he whispered, wanting to share this time with her even if she was somewhere far beyond his reach.

  The doctor busied himself with the second baby. Soon, another tiny baby appeared above the tent. “This one is a girl. Gladys, pack some of those dry towels around the incision and cover Mrs. Hanover’s arms and legs with a few blankets to stave off the cold while I see to this little one.”

  Gladys did as the doctor instructed, as he worked to clean the baby. He rubbed and rubbed, stopping occasionally and putting his stethoscope to her chest to listen, but Hiram never heard her cry.

  Eventually, the doctor stopped rubbing and wrapped the tiny baby in a sheet. “Hiram, I’m sorry to tell you, but…this baby is…she didn’t make it. She was just so small. And there was a problem with her placenta. It seems to have detached from the uterus. It was her blood leaking out. She may have been the cause of what went wrong with the pregnancy. I fear she has been…gone for some time.”

  Hiram stared at the little bundle the doctor carefully covered. His baby girl was under there—and she was gone.

  Hiram tried to stem his tears and be grateful for the child that survived this day, but he couldn’t help but mourn the little girl he and Aggie had lost. “Elsa Rose,” he whispered through his tears of grief.

  “I need to get Mrs. Hanover stitched up before the chloroform wears off. I would rather not give her any more in her weakened condition.”

  Hiram’s pulse raced. “What do you mean in her weakened condition? Is—will my wife be alright?”
Hiram asked the question but if the answer was not yes, did he really want to hear it?

  He picked up the tiny baby boy next to Aggie and cradled him in his arms. And then prayed for his wife. He loved this child wrapped in his arms, but he hoped not to have to sacrifice the love of his life for this precious gift.

  Hiram prayed and waited. Within twenty minutes, the doctor had finished sewing Aggie’s belly back together and dousing it with more iodine. He washed the blood from her body and then turned to Hiram.

  Gladys, could you take the other…child downstairs. I believe Mrs. Hanover will wake soon and I would rather not have her upset. There will be time to tell her later everything that has happened when she is stronger.

  “And could you arrange for someone to come up and change the bedding? I’d rather not have her moved once she’s awake either. I fear the pain will be too great. I will give her some laudanum, but only as much as she absolutely needs for it is quite addicting.”

  “Yes, sir.” Gladys turned and offered Hiram a sad smile as she picked up the tiny bundle and left the room. He glanced at Aggie and worried at how pale she was. She had lost so much blood.

  “Is my wife going to be alright, doctor? Please tell me the truth. Is she going to come out of this? Our son needs his mother. And, I need—I need…” Hiram’s emotions overflowed so he simply bowed his head and covered his face awaiting the doctor’s response.

  He felt the doctor’s hand on his shaking shoulders. “I can’t give you the answer you want, Mr. Hanover. I can’t guarantee anything at this point. This was a very difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery. Your wife has lost a great deal of blood and the babies were too early. And with the placenta issues, the odds were against them. At this point, I feel we are very fortunate that any of them survived, and I fear I have more bad news for you and your wife. I wish I could tell you everything is going to be alright, but there was so much tearing and blood loss.”

  Hiram was numb. How much more bad news could there be? “Go on, doctor. If there’s bad news, I want to know about it.”