The Journey Home

by Kelly Elliott

  When the door flew open, I was standing face to face with someone I knew. At least I thought I knew her.

  “Oh my gosh! Maddison, how are you?”

  I stared at the tall blonde before me. She was dressed in a business suit that hugged her in all the right places. Her pumps made her even taller, and she stood about two inches over than me, even though I was wearing heels, too. Her skin was perfectly tanned, and her hair was done up in a perfect chignon. She was flawless.

  I smiled politely. “I’m sorry. Do we know each other?”

  She giggled and waved us to come in. “I sure hope so. I’ve been working for your father, Mr. Powers, for three years now.”

  That’s where I know her from! “Cassidy?”

  She nodded. “That would be me.”

  I looked around the house for Cale, and finally found him walking into the living room with two glasses of wine. Lily was in her bouncy chair, sound asleep.

  Cale called out, “How about red? That’s all I’ve got.”

  Cassidy cleared her throat. “Cale, Maddison is here.”

  He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me. He smiled, but then saw Andre and began to scowl. “Back from Italy, I see.”

  I swallowed hard. He’s moved on.

  I nodded. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I was so excited to be home. I rushed straight from the airport here to see Lily.”

  Cassidy laughed. “Oh, no. This is not…”

  “It’s no problem at all,” Cale said. “Would the two of you like to join us for a glass of wine?”

  “Of course,” Andre replied.

  At the same time, I nearly shouted, “No!”

  I flicked my eyes between Andre and Cale. Cassidy reached down and scooped up my baby like Lily was her own.

  I placed my hand on my stomach as she spoke gently to my Lily. My other hand went to my mouth. My baby. My Lily. I began to feel sick.

  “Hey there, little princess,” Cassidy said. “Aunt Maddison is here to visit you.”

  The horror in my eyes must have been seen by both Andre and Cale as they both asked me at once, “Are you all right?”

  I shook my head and ran to the restroom. I slammed the door shut and slid down to the floor, tears streaming from my eyes.

  Oh my God, what have I done? I’ve lost them both.

  I wanted to control every single thing, but this was the one thing I couldn’t. I crawled over to the toilet and threw up.

  I KNOCKED ON the bathroom door. I was positive I heard Maddie crying before she started puking.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Please, I just need a moment, Andre.”

  It felt like I had a knife in my heart. That asshole couldn’t tear his eyes away from Cassidy long enough to come check on his girlfriend.

  I cleared my throat. “Maddie, it’s me.”

  I heard her sob. “Cale.”

  I rested my head on the door and whispered, “Please let me in, sweetheart. Please.”

  The door slowly opened and she stood in front of me, mascara running down her face. I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and I tell her how much I missed her. How much I loved her.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I just missed Lily more than I thought.” She spun around to the sink and splashed her face with cold water, attempting to clean up. I watched her intently. I knew that wasn’t why she was really upset. She obviously thought Cassidy and I were together. Cassidy calling her “Aunt Maddie” must have pushed her over the edge. I wasn’t even sure why Cassidy said that.

  “Lily’s missed you too,” I said.

  She shook her head. “How could you leave her alone?” she asked. “Don’t you miss her? Don’t you feel bad that a stranger is raising your daughter?”

  I was so pissed that my hands shook. She was accusing me of being a bad father. She had no idea I was working for her father’s company. Then it hit me—Maddie was doing what she always did. When she felt herself getting too close, she pushed me away by fighting.

  I took a deep, calming breath and slowly blew it out. “I quit my job, Maddie. I flew out that Monday, gave my notice, and flew right back home. I work from home mostly, with my new job, but Maria still comes and helps me with Lily during the day so I can work. I haven’t been away from her for more than twenty-four hours. I can’t say the same thing about you.”

  Horror struck her face again and tears were building in her eyes. I shook my head. “I’m sorry,” I said. “That wasn’t fair of me to say. Lily isn’t your daughter and I know you have your own life, with Andre.”

  She looked up into my eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped herself. Finally, she looked away as she asked, “May I spend some time with Lily later? After…after…”

  “After Cassidy leaves?”

  She nodded.

  I placed my hands on her shoulders and turned her body to face mine. “I’m glad you’re back. Will you be home for a while?”

  Her beautiful green eyes were filled with sadness. Something was missing in them. They weren’t only sad—they were empty.

  “I hope so. I’d like to bond with Lily again, if you don’t mind. I mean, I’m not asking to move back in or anything. But…”

  Andre walked up to Maddie. “Maddison? Maybe we should head back to your place, you must be tired. Cassidy just put Lily down, so you can’t really spend time with her right now.”

  I saw the same look of shock move across her face—the same as when Cassidy had called her “Aunt Maddie.” I could clear up the confusion. I could easily tell Maddie that Cassidy was married and only here because of work. Her husband had left not fifteen minutes before Maddie showed up.

  But I didn’t. And my heart ached knowing that I was purposely hurting her. Then again, when she walked around me, straight into Andre’s arms I was just as hurt.

  I walked them to the door to see them out. Glancing into the living room, I saw Cassidy looking over the project we were working on. I opened the door and gave Andre a polite smile. He didn’t return it. He looked at me like he wanted to take me out. I was clearly a threat to his ass.

  But my heart leapt at the way Maddie looked at me. I smiled gently at her.

  “I’ll call you about Lily?” Maddie asked with a weak grin.

  “You never have to call, Maddie. You’re always welcome here…always.”

  Her eyes lit up and I saw something there. A spark. A spark of life that she was so desperately triying to hide. She stood on her toes and kissed me on the cheek. I closed my eyes briefly. Her lips on my face had my heart soaring.

  Why can’t she see how much I love her? How much Lily and I need her.

  The door shut and I headed back into the living room. Cassidy stood and tilted her head at me. “Why are you allowing this to go on?”

  I jerked my head back and gave her a look. “What are you talking about?”

  She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “You’d have to be a damn fool not to see that the two of you are head over heels in love. That asshole boyfriend of hers actually flirted with me while Maddie was upset in the bathroom. He doesn’t love her, Cale. He has control over her. Why do you allow it? Why aren’t you fighting for her?”

  I sat down and downed my glass of wine. “You don’t understand, Cassidy. There’s a long history between Maddie and me.”

  She grabbed her purse and gave me that all-knowing look that most women have. “Well, if I were you, I’d sure as hell be figuring out how to fix this.” She pointed at the door. “Because that girl, whether she wants to believe it or not, is madly in love with you and Lily. It’s only once in a lifetime, Cale, that someone looks at you like that.”

  I ran my hand through my hair. “I don’t know what to do, Cassidy.”

  She smiled and gave me a pat on the arm. “Love is a journey, Cale. Sometimes we get lost along the way, but love always brings us home.”

  I nodded and smiled.

  “I can show myself out,” Cassidy said. “We’ll work
on this on Monday. It’s been a long week—I’m going home to a hot bath and an even hotter husband.”

  I laughed as Cassidy made her way to the front door.

  “Ciao!” She called over her shoulder.

  I laughed and shook my head. I sat back down and worked for a little bit more before heading upstairs to Lily’s room. In the nursery, I looked down at my daughter. After all the hell Zoey put me through, she’d left me with the most precious gift of all.

  I gazed down at Lily, watching her little stomach rise and fall with each breath. Her light brown hair curled up in the back just a bit. She was still so tiny, but strong and healthy. She was stubborn like her old man, but I could feel sensitivity in her, too. I wished I could look into her beautiful, blue eyes. She deserved everything I could give her. Every ounce of happiness. Every opportunity to excel. She deserved love. Not only my love, or my parents’ love, but a woman’s love. Someone who would teach her the things I couldn’t.

  She needed a mother. She needed Maddie. I needed Maddie.

  I placed my hand on Lily. No one had ever made my heart swell with such love as she did. She’d forever changed me. My love. My life. My daughter.

  I WALKED INTO my house and sighed. I was home and so relieved. I was tired of traveling. Tired of being away from Cale and Lily. But I had to stop thinking that way.

  I tossed my purse onto the sofa and walked into the kitchen, where Monica had set up a small bar. I grabbed a bottle of scotch. I didn’t even drink scotch—Jack did. But I poured a glass and downed it.

  Yuck. There’s a reason I don’t drink scotch.

  Andre called out to me over his shoulder. “Bella, I’m taking a shower. Would you like to join me?”

  My stomach turned. For the first time since meeting Andre, I didn’t want to be near him. I didn’t want him to even touch me.

  “I have to take care of a few things,” I said. “I’ll meet you in the bedroom in a few minutes.”

  He mumbled something and took off toward the master bedroom. I sat down at my computer and found an email from my boss. Silently, I prayed that she wasn’t sending me out of town again.

  The subject line was, “Call me. ASAP.”

  Dear Maddison,

  I need to speak with you. It’s urgent.

  Carol.

  I stared at the short email. “She’s sending me out to town again. Fuck.”

  I stood and spun around to see Andre standing there. He smiled, shaking his head. “You love him don’t you?”

  Swallowing hard I asked, “I beg your pardon?”

  He laughed as he shook his head. “I see the way you look at him, Bella. I long for you to look at me that way. Your eyes light up in his presence. They dance with a desire I’ve never been blessed to see.”

  I sat down as he walked into my office and sat on the sofa. “I’ve tried everything I could think of to push him from your heart, Bella. Everything. I even bribed your boss to send you to Seattle and Milan.”

  I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. “What?” I whispered.

  He looked away. “You were pushing me away after little Lily was born. I wasn’t going to be bested. I thought once we were back in Italy, I would be able to show you everything you need. It appears I underestimated your love for Cale. I saw it this evening. I saw what my interfering did to you.”

  Everything hit me at once. What I wanted in this life was the one thing I’d been trying to ignore. I took in a deep breath and stood up. “I’m glad you told me this. It makes my decision to leave my job all that much easier.”

  Now he was stunned. “You’re leaving your job? Maddison, you love your job.”

  I shook my head. “No. I love something far more important than my job.”

  His body jerked back as if he’d been struck. He nodded and picked up his cell phone and wallet. “This is what is in your heart, Maddison?” he asked.

  I nodded. “He’s been in my heart since the moment I met him.”

  Andre placed his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down and gently kissed me on my right cheek and then my left. When he went to kiss my lips I turned slightly away and whispered, “I can’t.”

  “I hope you find your happiness, Bella. You deserve it.”

  With that, he walked out my front door, gently closing it behind him. I let out the breath I’d been holding and walked into my bedroom. I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into a hot shower.

  After getting dressed in Victoria’s Secret sweat pants, a University of Arkansas T-shirt, and a pair of flip-flops I looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled.

  This is me. This is the girl who has been missing for the last three years.

  I TOOK A deep breath and knocked on his door. I prayed that Cassidy was not there still. If they were dating, I was about to make a fool out of myself. The door opened and I moaned ever so slightly.

  He looked like a god. A Greek god. No, better.

  My eyes fell first on his bare chest. Then I nearly swooned at the sight of his perfect abs and that damn V that dipped into the linen pants that hung just barely on his hips.

  I told myself not to look down. But I couldn’t help myself. His bare feet were so damn sexy. Finally, I looked him in the eye. “Um, are you alone?” I asked.

  His eyes pierced mine as I held my breath and waited for his answer.

  “No.”

  I closed my eyes. My heart broke all over again as I nodded. I was the only one to blame for this. I was the one who’d pushed him away. “I see. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, then.”

  “Maddie, wait. I’m not alone because Lily is here.”

  That bastard. I wanted to turn around and start screaming at him. He did that on purpose. Stupid jerk. I knew I deserved it, showing up here earlier with Andre. I counted to ten, spun around and pushed past him. I looked around. The house was a bit of a mess. Not dirty, just messy. Cale was terrible about putting things away. I’d learned so much about him when I’d lived with him for two weeks.

  “I have a proposition for you,” I said as I sat down on the sofa. I peeked up at him and watched as he sauntered across the room, looking all hot. I could hardly stand it.

  He leaned against the entrance to the hallway. “Sounds interesting.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “It isn’t anything sexual, so stop looking at me like that.”

  He smiled that damn crooked smile of his. The same smile that I’d seen across the room three years ago. The one that’s haunted my dreams ever since.

  “I’m listening.”

  I sucked in a breath, sat up taller, and blurted out, “I need a job.”

  His smile vanished. “Wait. What?”

  Damn it. I didn’t want to sound like I was begging. “I quit my job just now. I need a new one.”

  He pushed off the wall and looked at me, his mouth hanging open in that oh-so-sexy way. How I wanted his lips on my body. I could almost feel the heat as I imagined him kissing my inner thigh and…

  I shook my head. “Ugh. Will you please put a shirt on?”

  He looked down and then looked back at me with a smirk. “Why?”

  I glared at him. “It’s distracting.”

  He smiled bigger. Oh he was enjoying this. “Why is it distracting, Maddie?”

  I slapped my hands down on my legs and jumped up. “Fine. Have it your way. Stand there in nothing but a pair of pants, you won’t distract me.”

  He raised his eyebrows. Then he stared back at me. I watched as his stomach muscles flexed with each little movement he made. I wanted to run my tongue along his abs. I wanted to remember what being wrapped in his arms again felt like. I wanted…to stop acting like a silly teenager.

  “If you’re not distracted, why are you not talking?”

  I gave him a dirty look. “I love Lily, and when I saw Cassidy with her today, something happened. I’m not really sure what it was, but it made my heart hurt like never before. I’m tired of being gone. So, I’d like to take over as Lily’s nanny. No one k
nows her like I do. Well, I mean besides you. I was a huge part of her life and I hate that I missed the last month. I don’t want to miss anything. I can…um…I can move in and...um…well…take care of her while you work. I’ll take care of the meals, your laundry, grocery shopping, and any other things you might need or that the nanny would do.” I paused. “So, do you accept my proposition?”

  I stood firmly in my spot as I tried to calm my pounding heart and keep my hands from shaking. Cale was trying to not be affected by the fact that I’d basically just told him I wanted to help raise his daughter…and move in with him.

  He let out a breath and looked around as if he was trying to think. “Let me see if I have your proposition right. You no longer have a job.”

  I nodded my head. “Correct. I’m…jobless.”

  “Uh huh. You want to move in here. And be Lily’s nanny.”

  I began to chew on my lip. “I don’t want to be her Aunt Maddie, Cale. I want to be more.”

  “More?”

  Tears burned my eyes and I blinked to hold them back. “Yes,” I said, my voice cracking.

  Cale opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat. “Like, a mother figure?”

  I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I whispered, “Yes.”

  He took a step toward me. “If you move in, what happens when you want to have your boyfriend over? Or I want to bring a date home?”

  A small sob escaped my mouth, but it had nothing to do with Lily. It had more to do with the idea of Cale talking about dating. Him moving on.

  I swallowed and wiped my tears away. “I don’t have a boyfriend. We broke up.”

  Cale’s eyes lit up as he attempted to hide a smile. “Why did you break up?”

  I began wringing my hands. Don’t push your feelings away, Maddie. Let go of the control. Monica’s words popped into my head.

  “Sometimes, I think, we have to learn to let go of the control we think we need in order to find what fate has in store for us.”